Hummingbird Lady

The two-doors down neighbor and her husband and I had a very nice chat yesterday evening. They credit me with bringing hummingbirds into our neighborhood. I showed them the plant that did it all: a mountain hyssop-type deal which I’ll post a picture of later. It’s not a spectacular plant at all, but the hummers love the small tubular flowers, and it blooms all summer long.
The lady said that she’d noticed hummers in my yard so her husband went out and bought 9 hummer feeders and put them in their backyard. They said they sit out there and see about a dozen birds fighting over feeders. Very cool.
I told her that I was planning on buying two more of the plants from the catalog and she asked for the catalog when I was finished.
Her husband is the guy who snowblows the whole block in the wintertime and won’t take any money, so I think I’ll buy her a few plants as a Thank you.
Please don’t post a comment “I see hundreds of hummingbirds in my yard.” Or “Hummingbirds are mean.” Or “One attacked me once, I hate them.” Hummingbirds are a pleasure and fun to watch around here so don’t piss on my parade. Besides they'll be gone in another few weeks.

Monday

Labor Day with not so much labor

Quiz

Who is your Movie Star Boyfriend?

Mine's Brad Pitt

A Man for blu or Respighi

''Here's a fascinating story: there's a man in Australia and he spent the last 15 years of his life typing — typing — the numbers 'one' to 'one million.' Fifteen years of his life typing the numbers 'one,' starting out with 'o-n-e,' fifteen years, 'one' to 'one million' — and, guess what, girls? He's single.''
--DAVID LETTERMAN, ON THE LATE SHOW

Garden pictures

1. The frilly zinnias Schell likes--only they're just about spent

2. Regular zinnias that are just butterfly magnets. everytime I walk by ten-fifteen buterflies fly up and away

3. This is just ONE single sunflower--with about twenty different flowerheads!

4. Another angle of same sunflower

Happy Mid Week

I'm tired of looking at the handsome Jonathan Rhys Meyers so I'm posting a new entry.
Nothing new or exciting, let me assure you. I wrote Spidey an email loaded with lots of nasty words insisting that she post to her blog. She is disrupting my morning routine of reading her blog.

Off to work in awhile but I might stop at Panera Bread for a coffee and one of their Asiago CHeeses bagels, sliced and well-toasted. I like my toast well-toasted--none of this lightly- toasted crappola. I WANT BROWN. MAYBE EVEN CHARRED.

Side note to blu and Tree: More fucking tears from Amber--even on Power of 10. haha--she defended Michael Vick when Drew Carey made a joke. She doesn't even know! Dumbass. "I don't know what 'scrutinized' is." Dumbass

Eric's a weasle. Jameka need to live atop a mountain so she can pray and contemplate her naval and/or navel and/or oranges. Jessica and Eric in bed made me vomit a little.

Match Point

This man is beautiful.

I just watched Woody Allen's Match Point starring Scarlett Johannson and Jonathan Rhys Meyers. This man is beautiful---I couldn't take my eyes off of his lips. The movie was very good and you should rent it.

Despite being a pig in his real life, I love the way Woody Allen directs movies. The shots are incredible. He wrote and directed this one and it's set in London. The main theme is how luck plays into life.

Muggy Saturday

I've got four of the six "Things to Do This Weekend" things done already!

1. Clean back porch
2. Clean the bathtub
3. Clean the toilet
4. Clean bathroom and kitchen sinks
5. Go to Target for plastic tubs and cat food
6. Laundry

2, 3, 4, 5 DONE

I'm doing laundry right now and the back porch later or on Sunday.

Since I'm going to win the Powerball jackpot ($300 million) tonight, instead of Spidey. I'm going to give her a consolation prize. I'll send her and BigJoe on a two-week dream vacation anywhere in the world--all expenses and travel money included. (I'm sure they'll pick Indiana to visit since I'm here!)

Where in the world would you go and where would you want to stay? No fair saying a non-specific "Beach", or "Europe," or "Hawaii." Be specific, include a link if you'd like.

And no, Schell--you can't say "Naggypoo's bedroom"!!

Sex at 5:30 in the morning doesn't appeal to me.

Yesterday some of the schools got out early because the heat index was about 106.
Perhaps if school started in September like it's supposed to and not mid-August they'd alleviate this problem.

It's humid.

My husband tried to have sex with me at 5:30 this morning. I don't know about you, but my pussy does not want to be played with at 5:30 in the morning. I told him that if he wanted to have sex at 5:30 in the morning, he'd have to go solo---or maybe I'll suggest that he IM Meme.

Good news: It's Friday.

Bad news: We'll be busy at work.

I hope your day goes well.

More cute cat pictures

The cat climbed up onto a desk and took a nap and just looked darned cute!

5:02 PM

Work sucked.
It's sunny outside.
I'm eating a chunk of hot pepper cheese.

And I await Big Brother tonight because I read on one of the spoiler pages that Jen and Dick have a knock down, drag out--she destroyed all of his cigarettes. He called her "fucking bitch" numerous times. And she took herself off of slop and may be evicted by BB for breaking the rules. She probably won't since she'll more than likely be voted out soon anyway.

This cheese is very good.

Rain

We finally got some rain today.

Rain, rain, rain.

Downpours, actually but man do we need it!

You know you want me to have this

As I've posted before, I enjoy watching House Hunters and especially House Hunters International. Friday I saw a couple searching for an apartment in Portugal. I got online and found THIS HOUSE in Ireland. I want it. And I know you want me to have it too! So cash it your CDs, IRAs and your retirement savings and the money to me. I'd be ever-so- grateful.

Thanks in advance.

Pissed Cat

LP had thrown a sleeping bag up over a book case. Nesta of course jumped up there and fell asleep. I said "Kiki Marie!" and woke her up. She was not amused.

Updates and Stuff

1. The bathroom. The shower, bath, vanity and toilet are functional. BP had to go back to work so he still has to do the ceiling light and vent, the walls and trim. I told him that if I felt like it, I’d clean the baseboards and the door, and paint them. We’ll see.

2. Tomorrow LP and I are meeting my sister for lunch and shopping.

3. My assistant’s husband called her at noon today and told her to high tail it home and take him to the emergency room. She called 911 and got an ambulance to the house. Now you know it’s bad when a man admits to being sick and demands to go to the ER. Turns out his hernia was about ready to burst and his colon (or some other innard part) was twisting around his bowel and if left a few more hours could have ruptured----gangrene—and death. He had emergency surgery. So he’ll be in the hospital for at least 5 days—the second day and the third are the worst and will tell the docs whether or not they’ll have to take him to surgery again. Oy.

4. Remember that Hoosier Raffle I blogged about in June? I bought tickets with my oldest sister and my youngest sister and we won $1000. Split three ways. Hmm. Better than a kick in the ass, I guess.

5. I’m glad it’s Friday night.

For Spidey

My computer at home keeps shutting down when I turn it on, so something's funky. BP said he'd look at it--he said there's dust probably clogging it, so he was going to take the hard drive out to the garage and blow it out---but he's still working on the bathroom.

I used his laptop last night for awhile, but I hate not having a mouse.

I watched Last Comic Standing last night but wasn't too impressed with any of them.

I like your Question of the day thing--but the physical appearance question is interesting. Do most people think they are "average"? I don't think most ugly people will 'fess up to being ugly, and most physically attractive people will probably be too embarrassed to say so for fear of being called conceited.

I see a lot of people throughout the day and I 'd estimate that only 5 to 10% are what I consider attractive. the rest are average-looking, with a few fuglies thrown in.

At work

Talk about a work day that blows.

One co-worker got a call from her 13 year old cat's vet--he was doing surgery on the cat, found cancer and gave the choice of putting her down or letting my co-worker take her home for the few remaining days the cat would live.

Then at lunchtime one of my employees was in a car accident and her car was totaled. She just got a few scratches and a bruise. She didn't want to go to the hospital. I'm sure she'll be feeling it tomorrow.

Another employee was just plain nasty to everyone today. I finally told her "knock it off, or just go home!"

And I get home and I had to make dinner.

Free Iced Coffee

Every Monday in August McDonald's is giving away free iced coffee. All day.

I like the vanilla iced coffee.

I'm getting one.

For free.

Passport

As you may remember my passport (and BP's) came about a month or so ago. LP's was mailed about a week later than we mailed ours. We have yet to receive it. I just checked online for the status of his and learned that is has been mailed and should be here on 8/15.

That's more than five months since it was requested. If the government is going to change a rule about every American needsa passport to reenter this country, don't you think that somebody should have said, "We're going to be buried under applications. We need to hire A LOT of temporary workers so that people won't have to wait more than a month to receive a passport."?

If they have to charge a buck or two more for each passport--so be it. I think people would be willing to pay a few dollars more to receive their passports within a reasonable amount of time.

Make sense?

"And I helped!"

I helped BP lay tile yesterday evening—if handing him the tile squares and occasionally cutting them constitutes helping.

He has to grout today, and cut accesses for drains.

I’m glad it’s Friday.

It’s been hotter than Hell here all week—and humid. One step outside and I feel like a wet washrag.

But last night I bought an Entenman’s Honey Bun that’s the size of a small child’s head and I will be enjoying it with coffee this morning at work.

BP and I went to Meijer’s grocery store after work last night and supposedly bought groceries, but we came home with shit like:

Stouffer’s frozen entrees
FeBreeze room spray
Shampoo
Tampons
Bags of Flaming Hot Cheetos
Yogos fruit snacks
Cheese
Some hard pumpernickel bread shaped like a brick that BP found on the “international foods” aisle.
Frozen steak and cheese taquitos
Sunny Delight six pack
Paula Deen magazine
And two shitty DVDs: Man of the Year and something else
and, of course, the aforementioned Honey Bun

We spent over one hundred dollars in the grocery store and didn’t get anything remotely healthy

more about not having a toilet

In two more hours at least the toilet will be in. That’s the new tile around the toilet and that’s the box our new toilet came in.

I have a Sweet Husband story: Last night I went to bed around 10:30 and at 2 I woke up and had to pee. BP told me when I went to bed that he’d bring up the portable toilet from the basement. At 2 he was still working and I announced, “I have to pee! Where’s the portable toilet?” He said that it was way in the back of the coal bin area and couldn’t drag it out.
Me: I have to pee!
BP: Do you want to use a bucket?
Me: No. It’s 2am and I don’t want to pee in a bucket.
BP: Put your shoes on and I’ll drive you over to the rental.

Our rental house is still unoccupied until the 15th and it’s only three blocks away so we went out and he drove me over to pee. I thought that was very nice of him. He said he didn’t want me out groggy and driving at 2am with a full bladder (ha)
Someone please remind me of this sweet act when I post something bitchy about him.
He’s in the living room now watching an episode of CSI and then it’s back to working on the toilet/bathroom.

When I came home from work earlier, I saw a melted cup of a cookie dough blizzard from Sonic (it was LP’s) so I instinctively poured it down the drain. From the basement I heard a frantic “DON’T PUT ANYTHING DOWN THE DRAIN! DON’T PUT ANYTHING DOWN THE DRAIN!!!”
I had forgotten that he had the water off and some piping disconnected and the blizzard crap spewed out all over the basement floor.
YOU try not dumping things down the sink, or not peeing in your own home and you’ll understand my predicament.

Not for the faint of heart (that means men)

Any of you men who occasionally read my blog---you can just skip this entry.

I think I've written about my hot flashes before. They've subsided now, but I haven't had a period for four months.

BP's renovating our bathroom so this evening we won't have a toilet for awhile.

Guess who started her period last night?

Alanis Morrissette should have added this in her "Isn't It Ironic?"

Why is it most men get squeamish about periods and tampons and feminine hygiene?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA MAREGASE

It's my Mom's 83rd (?) birthday today. For as long as I can remember I'd call her Mama Maringese. I don't even know how you'd spell it; it's just a verbal word, not a written word.

I called her today and wished her a Happy Birthday, and told her that the card is on the way. Her response was, "Well I hope there's money in it!" For awhile she thought I was my younger sister Connie, so I said, "Sure Mom. Your youngest daughter Connie sent you $500, make sure and keep an eye out for it."
(My sister is gonna be pissed at me)

Anyway, Happy Birthday Mom

A New Day One

Day One of the bathroom renovation had to be postponed because the water heater in the rental house pooped out so BP had to go and buy a new one and install it, and move the refrigerator out because our new tenants, who’ll be moving in at the middle of the month, had their own and wanted to use it. So, hey. Good deal. These people seem sane—mom, pop and two kids.

So Day One was really today and as you can see by the pictures, things are going swimmingly. SIX layers of wallpaper and THREE distinct floors in various stages of decay and disrepair. BP said, “It’s probably a good thing we’re doing the renovation now because had things stayed they way they are at one point you would have gotten up in the middle of the night to go pee and you and the toilet would have fallen through to the basement.” (Did he just call me fat?)
He wants to save the medicine cabinet because “it’s an antique—people out east pay big dollars for crap like this.” He wants to save the old windows for the same reason. I think I might paint the small old window and use it as a feature thingy somewhere.


In regard to a previous comment—yes, blu. I’m very grateful BP is so good at home repair. I’ve posted before that he can do just about anything and everything that needs to be done around the house: plumbing, drywall, electrical, carpentry, and cabinet-making. That’s part of the reason I married him—I love a man who can do things with his hands (wink, wink.) I do things for him too. He hates doing the laundry—I don’t mind it at all. He will not wash a dish, or change the toilet paper in the bathroom, so I do. He doesn’t like to do yardwork and I actually enjoy it—so we’re a good match.

Anyway—tonight I’m meeting some friends for work for drinks and dinner. When I told LP this he said, “What? Is it two dollar cosmopolitan night?” What a sweet lad he is.

Day 1

Day 1 of the bathroom renovation. WTF would carpet a bathrom anyway??

My part?
1. Clean out the bathroom. Check. Did that last night and threw away one and one half garbage bags full of half-used shampoo, soaps, old combs, old medicines, and your basic crap etc. etc. etc.

2. Go to work.

3. Motivate BP to get up and go to Menard's for:

The floor tile
The bathtb/shower
Toilet
Vanity
Plumbing spupplies

We already bought:

Tub/shower fixtures
Vanity fixtures
Ceiling light/fan/exhaust
Electrical supplies


He and his buddy have agreed to work fast. I can live without a shower, but not without a toilet.

The Dave Building

MUNCIE, IN - Ball State University announced today that it will name a new campus building after one of its most prominent alumni, late night television host David Letterman.
On Sept. 7, the Letterman name will appear on a new campus landmark, when Ball State dedicates its just-completed, $21 million communication and media building in the entertainer's honor. The Ball State board of trustees authorized that recognition unanimously during a special meeting July 30 at the university's downtown Indianapolis Center.
"Millions of people across the country know of Ball State because of David Letterman's frequent references to his alma mater on ‘Late Night' and ‘The Late Show.' It is entirely fitting that the university should respond in kind with this public demonstration of our admiration and respect for such an accomplished and loyal alumnus," said Ball State President Jo Ann M. Gora. "It's also appropriate that we seek to recognize Dave as a great role model for our students, not only in terms of his professional success, but also his generous establishment and support of the Letterman Scholarships.
"By naming our cutting-edge communication and media building in honor of David Letterman, we hope to provide another, somewhat more visible example of his inspirational commitment to Ball State." MORE


-----


Dave's given so much to Ball State and the Children's Museum of Indianapolis that it's nice to see him honored this way. Plus, he's my not-so-secret boyfriend.
PS: The Dave Scholarships are given to student with a C average--haha

Garden Update: What's in bloom

Coleus

















Frilly Zinnias--butterflies love them























Petite zinnias. One seed produces scores of flowers.






















white lily---almost past it. lovely fragrance






















Black Eyed Susans and another kind of coleus

Boring Post. You don't have to read it if you don't want to

***It is Saturday, and because I loathed this work week, I’m glad the weekend is here. Now I need to work on stretching these two days into two or three months. Anyone have any ideas on how to do that?

***I’m doing laundry as I type and I haven’t even had any coffee yet.

***Yesterday I showed the rental house to an actual sane person, so keep your fingers crossed for me. Meme, you keep your legs crossed.

***I’m going to look at tile at Menard’s today. BP is supposed to start my bathroom renovation this week. Yum, a whole week of not being able to use the toilet—I might explode. Since our bathroom is tiny I’m going to go full tilt and vanity on the tile I want.

***Hey you guys know I love HGTV. I watched a show called House Hunters International last night. This show follows a couple around to three homes they are thinking about buying. The International version follows people in Mexico or France or Italy, etc. Last night a couple wanted to find a place in Paris. Of course the places were very expensive, but the BATHROOMS. They were no bigger than closets. A stool butted up (no pun intended) against the shower and a tiny airplane-sized sink. I’ve noticed the same when they highlight a NYC couple. The woman always squeals with glee when showed a closet that is the size of a refrigerator carton, “OH!!!! SO MUCH STORAGE!!” This there no storage in New York City? I love this show because I can see the value of property in other parts of the country.


*****OH MY GOSH! I FORGOT--Today is my 8th anniversary of wedded bliss with the BP. How could I have forgotten that?

The End

I finished Harry Potter tonight. What a wonderful ending to a fantastic series. The book is very dark. Lots of battles. Lots of killings. Lots going on. I was fascinated to read some of the back stories of a few of my favorite characters. Rowling did a good job tying things up.

Now I can read Clanky’s blog. I didn’t read it while in the midst of Dementors, Death eaters, Aurors and Potters because I was afraid she’d blab something about it. Haha.
You know who I despised more than You-Know Who? That motherfucking Delores Umbridge. What a ratty old Nazi bitch she was!

The Book Seven movie will be quite interesting to pull off. Wonder what director will get that plum.

Job as Dementor

At times, work is like a Dementor just sucking my soul right out of my body.


PS: I'm almost done with HP--should finish it tonight

A Note

Please note:
I have an upset stomach this morning but I am still going to work. What a trooper I am.

"What's a sewage bill?"

Maybe Jilly can back me up, but most of the time being a landlord sucks out the ass. I showed the house yesterday to a woman. She was very overweight, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but she only could take five steps before she had to sit down. The house is empty so she sat on the fireplace ledge.

She brought with her Marilyn Manson. Well, I thought it was Marilyn Manson but I found out that it was her son. “He’s not goth,” she told me twice. “He goes to church.”
I asked who would be living in the house. Well: her, her 17 yr old son (Marilyn), her 19 yr old son and her dog and a cat. Uuh, no. This is a two-bedroom bungalow. Here is what else I learned in the twenty minutes I spent with her:

1. She doesn’t think kids are adults until the age of 20 “It’s eighTEEN. It’s nineTEEN.”
2. She has to have the air on at 60 degrees because she gets hot.
3. The doctor warned her not to have more kids after the first one because she has “back problems.”
4. She didn’t know the difference between gas and electricity”
5. She didn’t know what a sewage bill was.
6. The place she lives in now has a mold problem and “the board of health didn’t do anything about it.”
7. She likes the kitchen island.
8. She goes to three different churches.
9. Her mother will visit a lot.
10. She brought her son with her “for protection.”
11. Apparently all her son knows how to do is to stare at his shoes.
12. She was worried that she wouldn’t fit in the bathtub.
13. She didn’t want me to contact her existing landlord.
14. She told her two sons, “If you live with me until you’re 20, and mind me, you can do whatever you want with your body.”
15. She liked the big bedroom.

Need I say more?

Midnight with Harry

About 11:15 BP and I made the trek out to get Harry Potter. The Little Puddin was supposed to go with us but was too tired, but wanted us to bring him back chicken nuggets and a small Frosty from Wendy’s later. Sheesh.

We were going to Meijer’s (a Midwest type of WalMart, blu) but BP said “Let’s go to WalMart and get it.” I hate WalMart. I feel the same way about that store as Allie does (read her comment in the Sparky post about “phone machines.”)

Anyway we got there and there was a long line down the middle of the store. WalMart had a shitty set-up (but what else is new): They had people go to the head of the line and ask the woman for a bracelet. Those with bracelets could buy the book. She gave us both a red “Gryffindor” ala the Lance Armstrong LIVE bracelets. She eyed us suspiciously and snipped, “The bracelets are only for people buying books .” I told her, “We’re buying two books.” She begrudgingly handed over two bracelets and looked at us as if we were lying. She also gave us promo HP posters, promo bookmarks and flyers.

We moved away and I wanted to go stand in line, but BP said, “I hate lines (well who doesn’t?) After the Air Force I promised myself I wouldn’t stand in another long line.”

Me: “But it’s Harry!”

He wanted to look at electronics so we went to the other ended of the store and looked at electronics.

About 5 ‘til 12 I said, “Let’s go stand in line!” We went over to the line and it had grown three times longer. We were now standing near the cash registers 25 -28. Over the loud speaker, a voice came on, “Here’s how we’ll do this. People with bracelets. Starting at the bracelet table I will take three groups of ten over to registers 25, 26 and 29. You will wait in line and the cashier will ring up your book!”

Then we saw three huge skids come rolling down another aisle on way to the registers. I swear I couldn’t help myself. When a skid came rolling by I shouted, “GRYFFINDOR LIVES!!!!!” This bitch two people in front of us, turned around and glared at me. AT ME! Can you imagine? This was supposed to be a Happy Event.

Then I got a scathingly brilliant idea.

Me: Don, the registers are right there. (By this time the groups of ten had been escorted.) The people have no other identification except the same bracelets WE have. Let’s just nonchalantly get out of line and go over in a register line. We won’t have to wait more than a few minutes!

BP: (looks around) Nah.

Me: Come on. Or else we’ll be here until 2 am!

BP: Nah. Let’s just wait. The line looks like it’s moving fast.

Me: (disgusted) What’s the worst that can happen? An eighty year old Greeter comes over and kicks our assses out? If that happens you throw him to the floor and I’ll kick him in the nuts.

BP: Puddin! No! Let’s just wait in line like good lil soldiers.

Me: Damn, Don. You told me such stories about your wild escapades when you were younger and now you’re all conventional and afraid of a WalMart Greeter.

BP: (laughs) I didn’t realize you were such a rebel.

Me: God, we’re such old farts.


Well, we waited in line and it did move fairly fast. At the winding ‘round part of the line, a kept seeing a huge bearded young man wearing a red shirt with a picture of the Buddha on it. The writing said, “RUB MY TUMMY FOR LUCK.” I really considered doing it.



Long story short. We bought two regular books and the special big dollar illustrated book set in a box. We got out of there about 10 til 1, and Wendy’s was closed, so LP had to settle for two plain cheeseburgers, fries and a Sprite. I was in bed at two, and I’m up now because I promised a friend I’d go to Panera Bread and to garage sales with her this morning. Why did I do that?

Harry

My hometown of Crawfordsville, Indiana has a Harry Potter connection.

Story

My brother-in-law works for Donnelly's and he said that during the printing of all the Harry Potter books security was tighter than Fort Knox.

My sister Connie called last night (she and her oldest son are WILD about Harry):

"A friend who works in a bookstore just called and said in a conspiratorial voice, 'Guess what we got into the store today? HARRY!!! But my manager put a big black curtain around the boxes with a sign that read: WARNING! LOOK AWAY! EMPLOYEES CAUGHT EVEN LOOKING AT THE BOXES WILL BE SENT TO AZKABAN.' " haha

Home

I got home at 11:30 pm yesterday—that wasn’t bad but our meetings ended at 3 so one of the attendees and I walked around downtown Pittsburgh for a few hours the went back to the hotel to hang out until 6 when we headed for the airport. To occupy ourselves, I bought a copy of Real Simple magazine, and my friend bought a Stephen King book . . Lilse something or other, which she pronounced “crap” after reading the first three chapters.

Back to Pittsburgh . . . the parts we saw were actually lovely. The view from the ball park of the skyline was very spectacular. There’s one building that looks kind of glassy and castle-y.

I actually enjoyed the Pittsburgh Pirates game! (they lost--the final score was 8-10, and the Rockies got FIVE runs in the first innings alone) It was a beautiful night, we had excellent, excellent seats and I had a foot long hotdog with peppers and onions, a beer, cotton candy, some of some guy’s nachos and a $3.00 bottle of water! They also gave us free baseball caps which I gave to LP when I got home. Sitting in back of us was this all-American family: mother, father and two cute little boys who were kept very busy recording the stats of every player and every move of the game. On our row, people were continually standing up, leaving to go pee, get food, stretch, etc. and the littlest kid—probably aged seven—once said under his breath, but loud enough for me to hear—“aw, c’mon, sit down and enjoy the game whys don’t cha.” I glanced back and winked at him and he turned red. So cute he was!

I hotel was nice, and I loved the mattress and told BP that we have to buy one for our bed at home. I had to share a room, which I hate to do but it was only for one night and I held in a fart until I couldn’t do it anymore so I went into the bathroom and cut loose. I’m sure you wanted to know that.

If you ever want to have a pleasant flight, fly from Indianapolis to Pittsburgh and back. Not one child on either flight. Not one obnoxious person, no one even trying to engage you in conversation—just a quiet, relaxing short flight.

By the way, the meeting itself sucked and was so boring and unnecessary and I sat through the whole thing thinking about all I could have gotten accomplished had I stayed home and worked in the office. I did, however, meet a new York dude by the name of “Rocco” who regaled us all with stories growing up and getting chased around the house by a hockey stick-wielding mother. Funny stories. Thanks, Rocco, for bringing fun into a boring ass meeting.

See ya

See you sometime on Wednesday

At the Movies

Sat through commercials for:

Coke
Fruit of the Loom underwear featuring a song by Vince Gill and the FOTL Apple man
Will Rogers Institute featuring Geena Davis
Mountain Dew
The National Guard
On the Lot TV show
Madmen HBO series
ABC Fall series called Pushing Daisies
A local college


and previews for:

Bee Movie
The Golden Compass
Steve Carell in Get Smart
Underdog
Some end-of-the-world movie whose Title I've forgotten

after all of that we got to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. BP and I enjoyed it. LP sat behind us and said he fell asleep.
I thought it was very dark---but the book was dark too--what with all the teenaged angst. It was well directed and I thought Imelda Staunton as the sinister and sadistic Delores Umbrage was just wonderful. My only complaint: Too little of the magnificent Maggie Smith. I just adore her.

Pittsburgh

Schell’s going to the beach. Next, Tree will go on her adventure. Where do I get to go this Monday and Tuesday? Pittsburgh—that’s where. I’m going for a business meeting. I got the itinerary today and Monday night we’re going to a Pittsburgh Pirates game. Oh, yay. I don’t like sports but it’s kind of a “have to” thing. So give me reasons why to be interested in a baseball game.

(Did you notice--when I don't have a lot to post, I post it using a BIG FONT.)

Is the landlord a Christian?

On a post on the main Comments page Jilly mentioned that she was a landlord. I am too. I rent out the houseI lived in before I got married. (Jilly, it's in the rental agreement that the renter pay all utilities except Sewage Wastewater. I pay that because the city could put a lien against the house if that one isn't paid.)

My present tenant moved out--That's a long teary story and she still owes me over $200. Anyway the guy I pay to do handy work over there was on the property when a middle-ages couple came up to him and started asking about renting the house--how many bedrooms, square footage, does it have central air, etc. Here's the topper: "Is the landlord a Christian? Does she go to church?"
When the handyman relayed their question to me, I said "What the hell? You should have told them 'Yeah, she goes to church. She's the High Priestess in the local White Witch Coven'."

I wouldn't rent to them if they paid me double rent each month. This is America. I can remember when a person wouldn't think of asking another a question like that. Stuff like that is private.

Dead: Charles Lane 1905-2007

Charles Lane, character actor, dead at age 102. I blogged about him a few years ago. He's been in It's A Wonderful Life. Countless TV episodes like I Love Lucy, Petticoat Junction, The Andy Griffith Show.

Obit

Trivia:

He was born in San Francisco and was one of the last survivors of the great 1906 earthquake.

Can you imagine living that long of a life and doing something you loved for a living? What a lucky man he was! He was one of my favorite character actors.

meme, don't look!

Can you spot the new gnome?

Of Bras and Elephants

It was time. I needed new bras. I hate buying bras, but I bought three Lily of France bras yesterday. I also bought two new pairs of dress pants I can wear to work and about ten new shirts—everything was on sale. I don’t buy a lot of clothes for myself, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

I couldn’t figure out how to make bird feeders from my old bras, so I threw them in the trash.

When we had the cookout last week, my oldest sister brought me a cook book that had been put together by local people to raise money for the Special Olympics in Indiana. Although I love to cook and I like to read cook books, I rarely use the recipes in them. I’m more of a recipe inventor than a recipe follower.

Anyway, I was reading the recipes when I came upon this one:


Elephant Stew

1 elephant
1,000 tsp. salt
950 to 1,000 cups of brown gravy
2 rabbits (optional)

Cut elephant into bite size pieces, this should take about two months.
Cover with brown gravy. Cook at 450 degrees over open fire for about 4 weeks.
This will serve about 3,800 people. If more people are expected, the two rabbits may be added but do this only if necessary as most people do not want to find a hare in their stew.


You can thank a woman named Sue Crawford from Union City, Indiana for that recipe

7-07-07

It's 7-7-07.

Do you feel lucky?

Well, do you , Punk?

Me? I'm buying a Hoosier Lottery Raffle ticket. It's the best odds of winning (Austin Powers' Dr. Evil voice here) ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Only 325,000 tickets will be sold. There will be two million dollar prizes, 5 $100,000 prizes, and 770 $1000 prizes.

If anyone wants to send me good vibes, email me at emmabookshelf@aol.com sometime today, and if I win one of the million dollar prizes, you will receive a personal check from me in the amount of one thousand dollars. Yippie kaiaay. I will post the raffle number here later.

Nesta Miss Kiki Marie

Thanks, Clanky

I emailed my husband that weird boob picture Clanks posted on her blog with "Be thankful I don't have boobs like this." He emailed me back, "NEVER send me anything like that again!"

haha

Happy 4th of July, too!

For those of your faithful readers you’ll remember that I make Nesta aka Kiki Marie the cat sleep on the enclosed porch. She’s very comfortable out there, but BP and LP have whined at me for a year and a half to let her stay in the house at night. Well, since the cat is almost two years old, they finally wore me down and I let them give it a try.

Me: But if that cat jumps on me or our bed during the night---out she goes!

They---BP, LP and Nesta-- all agreed.

The first night around 3 am she jumped on me about three times and scared the shit out of me.

Me: Don! Take the cat OUT!

He did.

Since that first night things have improved. She’s only jumped on me once and started playing with/batting at my hair

Me: Don! Take the cat OUT!


Lately she knows what time I wake up, so at 6 am she’ll come and sit by the bed and meow or bat at my hand if it happens to be hanging over the bed.

Last night I told BP, “Please tell the cat that I get to sleep in tomorrow, so don’t wake me up so early. Tell her to let me sleep until 8.”

And before I went to bed I picked her up and told her the same thing, “Listen Kiki, I don’t have to work tomorrow so I want to sleep longer. Don’t get me up at 6! Hear me?”

And, by golly, she didn’t disturb me at all. About 8:30 she comes trotting into our bedroom and meowed a wake up call.

She’s the new Kitty Alarm Clock

Freak of nature

On this coneflower clump there is one pure white
flower blooming. See the lower right one? It might not be so noticable in my picture (I'm not a great photog) but trust me, it's white

Morning Pictures

Update

Sorry for the neglect. I have been soooooooo busy at work (yuck). Things should start to slow down a bit in a week or so.

BP did not whack me upside the head with a leg of lamb (so far, anyway.)

It's been raining a lot (but not like it has been in Dallas) so my garden looks good. My sunflowers, lilies, coneflowers, scabiosa, lavender, roses and Shasta daisies are blooming.

Since we're having people over on Sunday, all of Saturday will be spent grocery shopping, cleaning this god forsaken house, doing laundry and cooking. My oldest sister wants to bring strawberry shortcake (and who is going to argue with that??)

Let's see:

1. I despise Ann Coulter.

2. I did not watch Larry King's interview with Paris Hilton. Personally I don't see the appeal of either of those two people. Larry's a lump, and Hilton's a strump.

3. I just got a bill from LP's high school bookstore telling me that I owe $112.47 for two books he either lost or didn't return at the end of the semester. I'm giving him a week to come up with the two books or I'm taking that money out of his bank account. I paid to rent those mofos ONCE--I don't want to pony up money to replace them. Sheesh.

4. BP is working on fixing up our old Honda so the child can use it when he gets his license. BP changed the brakes and is working to fix the air conditioner.

5. I'm expecting $4000 at the end of summer. BP wants to go to Vegas with it, but I want him to renovate our bathroom. Since he'll do the work himself, the money will go farther. I want: New floor tile, new wall tile, new vanity, new light fixtures and fans, new toilet--is that too much to ask?

SATURDAY

I watched Miss Potter this afternoon. It was a lovely little movie starring the crack whore (alledgely!) Renee Zellweger as Beatrix Potter. Emily Watson and Ewan McGregor costarred. The English Lake District photography was simply magnificent.

It's been raining all day and that's okay with me. We need it. I weeded yesterday and they're still laying in the yard where I tossed them.

We're planning a little get together barbeque here for 4th of July but since the 4th is on a Wednesday--we might move the 4th to , say, Saturday or Sunday. I'm planning just hamburgers and hot dogs with a few salads, chips and stuff like that. BP wants to BBQ lamb on the grill but I think that's a little too much. I want to keep it simple.

I hate work lately. Spidey got rid of her pain-in-the ass work person, but mine is still around unfortunately.

No Update

I'm writing to tell you that there is no update today. Tomorrow's Saturday so I 'll write an update on the No Update then.

However, I did wake up to glorious rain,which w so desparately need. So that's a good thing.

Before work, I'm going to stop at Panera's for coffee. It's Friday and I deserve a treat.

Oh, by the way, as much as I HEART Steve Carell and his career, I'm so tired of seeing those Evan Almighty previews! Thank God that movie opens today! SHEESH--the ad money for that flick must been the combined fortunes of Bill gates and Oprah. Enough already.

Passport

My passport finally arrived (it will mailed in March.) BP's didn't come, neither did LP's, so I'm thinking about jetting to England to:

A) Stop Clanky from tattooing/marring herself, and
B) Visit Meme to see her hairy toe and to buy her a pint.

Sick Day

I called in sick today.

So far I've taken LP to summer school, cleaned the tub, sink and toilet, washed two loads of laundry, Cometed my kitchen sink, threw away four old shampoo bottles that had a third or less of product, watched The Closer I videotaped last night, cuddled the cat, and cleaned and refilled the birdbath.
All that before noon.
I hope I feel better.

Do you clean your own carpets? How much is something like Stanley Steemer to clean one room of carpet?

But I Could Be Wrong

But I Could Be Wrong

Here's a good YouTube video song by the comedian Tim Wilson. Seems like he's as tired of overexposed celebrities as I am!

Thanks to AliasJJ for sending me this video!

Sunday Stuff

1. It's Father's Day. It's been six years since my own father died, and I miss him and his gardening advice and suggestions. He was such a staunch Democrat that I think he and I would have had a good time together making fun of Dubya--now I must carry on by myself with that particular mission. He died a few months before September 11th but, despite having served in WW2 and Korea, he would not have supported the Iraqi war. His view was that America should only enter wars when we had a moral imperative, not because of a suspicion. My Dad would not have agreed to "Shock and Awe." He would have been shocked and appalled.

2. We need rain. Our best chance of getting some is on Tuesday. I will keep fingers, toes and eyes crossed until then.

3. I believe I am having the occasional hot flash. At night it's blanket on, then blanket whipped off, blanket on, blanket whipped off. They happen during the day too. What a drag.

4. Miss Kiki Marie aka Sis aka Cat aka "MOVE!" aka Nesta hunted down a fly yesterday, cornered it against a living room window, caught it and promptly ate it. Maybe she needs more protein in her diet. Why does this cat seem to want to jump out in front of my moving feet, like she's in Parade Lead and get it the way? Maybe Rosa can answer that.

5. I don't want to do even one productive thing today.

I Miss Bill

I was flipping around the remote and landed on CPAN’s airing of today’s speech by Bill Clinton to the National Partnership for Women & Families.

Highlights:

There are 28 million people in the US who earn paychecks and yet do not have bank accounts. They cannot establish credit, qualify for mortgages or earn interest on their money. He said that there are more payday loan franchises in the US than McDonald’s. These payday loans make it easy for poorer people to get caught in a cycle that can charge astronomical interest—some $300 loans end up costing over $700. These 28 million people spend over 10 billion dollars a year on these alternative banking transactions.

He spoke a lot about health care reform and the encouragement of health care providers and insurance companies to promote Wellness Programs.

His foundation helps educate lower income families to apply for tax credits and helps them file tax forms and the like. He’s working for IRS reforms on the EZ forms so poor people don’t have to submit more than one form to apply for these tax credits.

He’s very articulate and optimistic about the future and says every problem in the world comes down to one question, “Do our differences matter more than what we have in common?” From health care to the war in Iraq.

I listened to him for almost an hour and he didn’t smirk or stammer or mispronounce words. Articulate. Charming. Well read. Caring. Smart. Charismatic. Ahhh . . .to have a President like that.

CPAN always reruns speeches. If you can, see it.

What's your pop culture blindspot?

Entertainment Weekly magazine asked their employees what famous movie/tv/book/etc they've never read. (Harry Potter/Simpsons/Sopranos were covered"

"I've never read a book by any of the big best-selling authors. I mean writers like Tom Clancy, Stephen King (sorry, co-worker once removed!), James Patterson, Danielle Steele, John Grisham, David Baldacci, Clive Cussler, Mary Higgins Clark, Nora Roberts, Dean Koontz, Janet Evanovich (have I left anyone out?). Basically this is because I still think that books, as opposed to TV and movies, are supposed to be ''good for you,'' so I only choose classics — you know, like Dickens and Stendhal — which I never pick up because they're too boring. (Maybe I should change this confession to ''I never read books.'')" — Tom Conroy


I think Tom Conroy's a bit of a snob. But here are some famous, well-reviewed shows past & present I've never seen:

ER
Hill Street Blues
NYPD Blue
Sopranos
St. Elsewhere
Ugly Betty
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (I'm a Letterman gurl)
Grey's Anatomy

Movie Recommendation

Breach
with the magnificent Chris Cooper, Ryan Phillippe, Laura Linney, Dennis Haysbert and Gary Cole

Excellent movie about "the worst spy in American history" Robert Hanssen. About a year after the Hanssen case broke (in February 2001) there was a Made-for-TV-movie about him starring William Hurt. That was a good movie with Hurt doing a good portrayal, but this film is more from the Bureau's viewpoint.
Hanssen was brilliant, a schlub, a pervert, and seriously fucked up. He's serving a life term in Forence, Colorado Supermax prison--23 hours a day in solitary confinement. A just punishment.
See the film.

She makes a nothing day

I have absolutely nothing to blog about today other than the fact I have nothing to blog about today.

Have a_________________ day.

Corporate Speak

I remember reading when Verbie said "gifted" was not a verb, so here's something I cringed at today:

This mean woman from THE COMPANY came into my office. We were talking about a meeting we have tomorrow with a guy named Michael. The meeting is scheduled for 8am, Mean Woman said, "Michael will not be here by then. His flight won't even arrive until 10am."

Me: Oh? I didn't know that.
MW: Well, I did. Michael and I office together.

She OFFICES together with Michael?? She doesn't have her office near Michael. She's not next to Michael. SHE OFFICES WITH MICHAEL. How fucking stupid is that?

The Holiday

I'm eating pistachios and thinking about The Holiday.


I think Kate Winslet is adorable. I didn't see (and will never see) The Titanic, but I've seen some other things she's been in and she's quite good. Her expression when she heard that her love Jasper was engaged to someone else is worth the whole movie. Her character's interaction with Eli Wallach's character is very sweet.


Cameron Diaz. Ugh. I like her better as Princess Fiona so I don't have to see her onscreen. I think her part could have been played by another actress and it would've been an even better movie. One thing that bugged me is that she was ready to leave Surrey (or "Suri" if you're a Cruise) after only one day--so what the hell was she going to do about Iris' dog!!? Just leave him in the house for two weeks?

I liked the little cameo of Dustin Hoffman at the video store.


Jack Black was good in this---less manic than his normal persona.


I think Jude Law is physically very pretty, and he played his part very well. He was quite charming in the scenes with the little girls who played his daughters. He has very beautiful lips and he kisses very well on screen. I understand he's a bit of a blob in real life, but "oh well."


Hasn't every woman had a motherfucking Jasper sometime in her life. The great part about this movie (and it is a romantic comedy after all) is that Iris finally woke up and told her Jasper to sod off.

Bits & Pieces

1. If there is such a thing as perfect weather, this would be it: mid 70's, sunny, not humid. In a word gorgeous.

2. I read that my Curb Your Enthusiasm crush Larry David and his anti-global warming wife Laurie are getting a divorce after being married a decade or so. This is sad. Good luck to them both.

3. BP is away working, LP is away with his friends (playing pool I think) so I am making a pizza for dinner with one of those Bobolo crusts. Grape tomatoes, real mozzarella cheese, crushed red peppers and parsley and basil from my garden.

4. I bought a flat of different kinds of coleus today and planted them in pots (picture forthcoming.) There are LOTS of plants in a flat and I ran out of pots, so I just stuck the leftovers in the ground. Coleus need shade and lots of watering, so the ones in th eground will probably die.

5. My youngest sister and her family left for Disney World today. They're staying in the Grand Floridian, and my sis booked my four year old niece a "Minnie" manicure and pedicure. I don't know if Minnie Mouse herself does the work (ha ha). She and my B-i-L have three kids and the kids have known they were going to Disney since Febuary and have been packed and ready to go since March. My niece has taken to wearing lip gloss and she doens't get the fact that you have to reapply it, and so she puckers up her lips all day long. My sis sent my niece's softball picture and Claire is there in her uniform , lips pursed and trying to look fierce. I called her and said, "Claire I love your picture! Did you wear lip gloss for it?" And she said, "Aunt Emma, how did you know!!??" Aunties know these things.


6. I rented The Holiday to watch tonight. I don't know why I got it--I am not a Cameron Diaz fan, so I hope she doesn't hog the whole movie!

Drunken Gnomes

Teri (of F and Teri fame) sent me a cool story about garage sales and this guy took a picture of these drunken gnomes he saw at a garage sale. Thanks, Teri!

Here's the story

Gnomes in the Home

A portion of my gnome collection sits on a filing cabinet.

A Song I Wish I Wrote

From a Paul McCartney interview with Newsweek:

Q: You wrote the most-covered song ever: "Yesterday." Do you ever get sick of it?


A: Not really, no. If you'd have written "Yesterday," would you? [Laughs] It's one of those, man. Come on! It's one of the most mystical things that ever happened to me, waking up one morning with that tune in my head. I mean, that's pretty far out. Recently, though, I realized I'd hardly heard any of these 3,000 cover versions. [Laughs] So I had someone make me a CD of the 10 most amazing covers: you know, Frank Sinatra, Elvis [Presley], Marvin Gaye, Ray Charles. The funniest thing was, three or four of them changed the lyric very subtly. Fabulous! In the middle I go, [sings] "I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday." I own up: "I said something wrong." But they don't! They go, [sings] "I must've said something wrong." [Laughs] Like, "I doubt very much whether I did. I must've. 'Cause she's gone." Check 'em out. See if they do "I must've said something wrong." Certainly Elvis does. He's not admitting a thing.



If you could have written a classic song, which one would it have been?
Here's only one that I would love to claim:


Our Love is Here to Stay
By George Gershwin

It's very clear
Our love is here to stay ;
Not for a year
But ever and a day.

The radio and the telephone
And the movies that we know
May just be passing fancies,
And in time may go

But, oh my dear,
Our love is here to stay.
Together we're
Going a long, long way

In time the Rockies may crumble,
Gibralter may tumble,
They're only made of clay,
But our love is here to stay.

Accent wall/Grocery

My Saturday was not relaxing. I finally painted the living room “accent wall.” It’s sort of the color of Moroccan leather mixed with a deep taupe. Now I have to get BP to rehang the pictures and such.

CAT HATER ALERT: CUTE CAT STORY COMING! I was up and down on this small four-foot ladder a lot. I took a break to go to the toilet/potty/loo and when I returned Miss Kiki Marie aka Nesta aka Sis was running up and down the ladder and having a good old time. I’ll bet in another life she was a circus cat. If I could train her to hold a paint brush I could be a wealthy woman. I’d pimp her out as a painter with posters like

NESTA THE PAINTING CAT
Too old to climb up and down ladders,
but still want a freshly painted room?
Cat Painter for hire
$2000/hour of painting and amusement


After the painting, I had to drag LP to the grocery store with me. What’s up with that? Should I, as his mother, simply have to say, “LP, I need your help at the grocery and I’d enjoy the pleasure of your company—hop in the car.”
But noooooooo it has to be a production. It’s not like I ask him to go every time.

He starts summer school and driver’s education tomorrow. If you are a pray-er, say one for me

"SON OF A BITCH!"

I just washed my hair and am waiting for it to dry before I go to bed to read, so I’ll try not to be drab, but sometimes I just can’t help it.

Did I tell you that on the way to Arkansas, my sister, Mom and I stopped at Lambert’s Café “Home of Throwed Rolls” in Sikeston Missouri? Evidently this place was featured on some Food TV show and BP suggested we stop there.

We got there around 2 pm and inside it looked like a big Cracker Barrel with rows and rows of wooden tables and lots of blue-haired folks, and some lady playing the piano (or pi-anny as Granny Clampett would call it.)

Anyway, this place’s claim to fame is that they throw rolls to/at you. A cute young guy wanders around the place saying “Hot rolls! Hot rolls here!”and you hold up your hand if you want a throwed roll. Well, my sister held up her hand and caught a roll—it was hot. I held up my hand and caught a roll—it was hot. We asked, “Ma, do you want a roll? Hold up your hand.” So she held up her hand and caught a hot roll. Well, it must have been a little too hot for her because she said (quite loudly) “SON OF A BITCH!” Those Missourians acted like they’d never heard an 82 year-old Hoosier lady say “SON OF A BITCH” before and some looked aghast.

This place served too much FOOD! Jeez! I ordered meatloaf and got two huge slabs of the stuff. They ordered chicken salad and each got two huge scoops of it, plus potatoes and rolls and these servers come by your table with “freebies” of black-eyed peas and macaroni and tomatoes and fried okra (blech)

The food wasted in that place is a sin. Those blue-haired old people probably take home leftovers and eat on them for a week. Plus, the food really wasn’t that great. It’s the gimmick of the throwed rolls that brings people in. So if you ever go to a Lambert’s Café Home of Throwed Rolls, and you catch a hot roll, say “SON OF A BITCH!” and think of my Mother.

Here's the website: Lambert's

For Spidey

I know this will be your favorite!

Orange Poppies

Red Poppies

Don't they look like crepe paper?

White Nigella: Love-in-a-Mist

Red Hot Pokers

Books for summer reading

New books I bought for one dollar each:

Oxford Book of American Poetry
French Women for All Seasons: Mireille Guiliano
The View From Castle Rock: Alice Munro
HP & The Order of the Phoenix (for a gift)
HP & The Half-Blood Prince (for a gift)
Ansel Adams The National Park Service Photographs w/ CD by Tim Janis
The Low Maintenance Garden: Susan Berry & Steve Bradley
Heritage of Ireland: History of Ireland & Its People: Nathaniel Harris
Irish Traditions: Kathleen Jo Ryan
The Enchanted Garden: Claire O’Rush
Books I bought because I want to reread:
Walden & Resistance to Civil Government: Henry D. Thoreau
Steinbeck, centennial editions:
Travels with Charley
The Pearl
The Grapes of Wrath
Of Mice and Men

I think that will be a good start to my summer reading

Memorial Day

I fried some bacon, toasted an English muffin and poured myself some orange juice for breakfast. Then I'm going to sit on the porch and finish my Spanish Dagger book, and might watch some TV and pet the cat--other than that I'm not doing a damned thing all day.