"SON OF A BITCH!"

I just washed my hair and am waiting for it to dry before I go to bed to read, so I’ll try not to be drab, but sometimes I just can’t help it.

Did I tell you that on the way to Arkansas, my sister, Mom and I stopped at Lambert’s Café “Home of Throwed Rolls” in Sikeston Missouri? Evidently this place was featured on some Food TV show and BP suggested we stop there.

We got there around 2 pm and inside it looked like a big Cracker Barrel with rows and rows of wooden tables and lots of blue-haired folks, and some lady playing the piano (or pi-anny as Granny Clampett would call it.)

Anyway, this place’s claim to fame is that they throw rolls to/at you. A cute young guy wanders around the place saying “Hot rolls! Hot rolls here!”and you hold up your hand if you want a throwed roll. Well, my sister held up her hand and caught a roll—it was hot. I held up my hand and caught a roll—it was hot. We asked, “Ma, do you want a roll? Hold up your hand.” So she held up her hand and caught a hot roll. Well, it must have been a little too hot for her because she said (quite loudly) “SON OF A BITCH!” Those Missourians acted like they’d never heard an 82 year-old Hoosier lady say “SON OF A BITCH” before and some looked aghast.

This place served too much FOOD! Jeez! I ordered meatloaf and got two huge slabs of the stuff. They ordered chicken salad and each got two huge scoops of it, plus potatoes and rolls and these servers come by your table with “freebies” of black-eyed peas and macaroni and tomatoes and fried okra (blech)

The food wasted in that place is a sin. Those blue-haired old people probably take home leftovers and eat on them for a week. Plus, the food really wasn’t that great. It’s the gimmick of the throwed rolls that brings people in. So if you ever go to a Lambert’s Café Home of Throwed Rolls, and you catch a hot roll, say “SON OF A BITCH!” and think of my Mother.

Here's the website: Lambert's