Saturday

1. It's supposed to reach 88 degrees today. In October. I like sweatshirt weather--not just sweat weather.

2. My irises and lavender plants are reblooming! My roses look fab. How am I supposed to go shopping for pumpkins when the weather is hotter than Hell?

3. I like this new show on HGTV. Fun Shui. This feng shui expert decorator helps a couple out in a room they don't like. Last week is was an unrelaxing bedroom. Last night it was a dowdy kitchen. She says you're not supposed to have too many books in your bedroom--a lot of books create too much fire energy and it's not relaxing. Uncluttered . . soothing colors . . . photograps or decorative items placed in twos are calming for a bedroom. In the kitchen last night, she painted the ceiling red! Red? you say? Yes, red. I thought it would be god-awful, but with the other colors and some new appliances it looked fantastic. And did you know that the stove was one of the most important pieces of "furniture" in your home? It's where the family is fed and nourished. My stove is older than dirt and looks it. I want this stove
But before I get that stove, my whole kitchen needs to be gutted and redone. BP has told me that I am forbidden from watching HGTV ever ever ever again.

4. Today I'm doing my regular Saturday chores: laundry including bedsheets (I love sleeping on fresh bedsheets) grocery store and damn it, I'm going to sit my butt on the porch and read too!

Office Recap

1. Love that Jim and Pam came out about their relationship. Was that the first mean thing Toby's ever done--the memo thing?
2. Creed's being 29 was funny--the dye job hair was great.
3. We saw Phyllis' claws come out when she pretty much threatened Pam about giving new clients on a random basis.
4. Dwight trying to make peace with Angela by giving her a feral cat.
5. Ryan the Temp has turned into an asshole.
6. Kelly Kapoor---- ::::rolls eyes::::
7. The gift baskets were a stroke of genius! Too bad none of the clients were women--we suckers for gift baskets---full of money!
8. Ryan hitting on Pam was just creepy.
9.Dwight & Michael driving into the lake because "the machine told me to" was hysterical!
10. I want me some more Andy, 'cuse me "Drew", Bernard. I love when he sings a cappella.

Rock Hall of Fame

I don't know if rock needs a hall of fame--aren't rockers supposed to be anti-establishment, and besides music is a very personal thing either it speaks to you or it doesn't--but here are the most recent Rock Hall of Fame nominees:

Dave Clark Five (don't like them)
Ventures (who?)
Leonard Cohen (masterful)
Afrika Bambaata (evidently this is a person and not a group)
Beastie Boys (fall into the Dave Clark Five "don't like them" catagory)
Donna Summer (Yessssss! Love to love you, Baby!)
Chic (who?)
John Mellencamp (a genius, a nice guy, a Hoosier--need I say more?)
Madonna (the original Boy Toy)

Read a Banned Book this week!

Oh shit. I'm getting forgetful in my old age. We're smack dab in the middle of National Banned Books Week and I didn't give it a Shout Out.

Banned Books

This is the time to remember how stupid it it to ban or challenge books at the library or even in your own home. The Freedom to Read should be coveted by all.

BBW was started by the American Library Association and now encompasses other pro-reading organizations, including EmmaWrites, Inc and Emmerica (all rights reserved).

Next time you hear a Stupid Person say that they don't think Little Johnny or Little Brittney Cristina (or you or me for that matter) should not read a book because it contains any or all of the following: witchcraft, anti-religious characters, menstruation talk, masturbation chat, homosexual references, etc. --just do society a favor and bite them on the leg. While they're sitting in the ER getting rabies shots their children can be reading!

Squirrel Chat

I was getting in my car, going back to work after lunch. I look up and see a squirrel snatch an ear of corn from my neighbor's gourd, pumpkin, corn Halloween yard display and carry the whole freaking ear in his mouth across the street. Big pig.

The Cyborg & Me

When I was waiting in the doctor’s examination room the other day I heard a commotion outside. When all was quiet again I thought about that scene in The Terminator where Arnold plows through the police station in search of Sarah Connor and goes room by room looking for her.
In this little exam room there were two big thick windows. I lifted up the blinds and there weren’t locks. The windows weren’t even functional so the only way I could get outside would be to smash them and jump out. I looked around to see if there was something metal to use to break the window, but there was only the Blood Pressure cuff attached to the wall, a pc monitor, a box of Kleenex, a chair, and some other assorted doctor-type things. Would a pc monitor break a heavy window? My best plan would be to use the chair and ram one of its legs through the window and use the exam table paper sheets to knock out the remaining glass and then I’d be out. My exam room was at the end of the corridor but I wonder if I would have enough time to:
1. Hear a life threatening commotion inside the medical office itself
2. Acknowledge to myself that the indestructible Cyborg was in the medical office, wreaking havoc and looking in each of the exam rooms, and working down the hall towards my room.
3. Then hop off of the exam table.
4. Pick up the chair and ram it into the window several times, enough to smash it.
5. Use that same chair to climb on and hoist myself outside to freedom.

Maybe my best move would be to hope that Sarah Connor was in the exam room two doors down so that when the Cyborg located her, he’d either kill her on the spot, or carry her off to finish the job.