Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Cyborg & Me

When I was waiting in the doctor’s examination room the other day I heard a commotion outside. When all was quiet again I thought about that scene in The Terminator where Arnold plows through the police station in search of Sarah Connor and goes room by room looking for her.
In this little exam room there were two big thick windows. I lifted up the blinds and there weren’t locks. The windows weren’t even functional so the only way I could get outside would be to smash them and jump out. I looked around to see if there was something metal to use to break the window, but there was only the Blood Pressure cuff attached to the wall, a pc monitor, a box of Kleenex, a chair, and some other assorted doctor-type things. Would a pc monitor break a heavy window? My best plan would be to use the chair and ram one of its legs through the window and use the exam table paper sheets to knock out the remaining glass and then I’d be out. My exam room was at the end of the corridor but I wonder if I would have enough time to:
1. Hear a life threatening commotion inside the medical office itself
2. Acknowledge to myself that the indestructible Cyborg was in the medical office, wreaking havoc and looking in each of the exam rooms, and working down the hall towards my room.
3. Then hop off of the exam table.
4. Pick up the chair and ram it into the window several times, enough to smash it.
5. Use that same chair to climb on and hoist myself outside to freedom.

Maybe my best move would be to hope that Sarah Connor was in the exam room two doors down so that when the Cyborg located her, he’d either kill her on the spot, or carry her off to finish the job.

9 comments:

Jenny Robin said...

For some reason this reminded me of the saying that goes something like this: "When being chased by a bear, you don't have to be the fastest runner, you just have to be faster than one person."

Anonymous said...

i love you emma.

jilly

schell said...

I think your best bet is option 2.

UrbanStarGazer said...

Too much time on your hands . . .

Anonymous said...

I haven't drank out of a milk carton since I watched Terminator 2.

Anonymous said...

you just need to tuck your Life Hammer into your purse before you go into the doctor's office, Emma.

(These became very popular in Houston a few years back after a woman drove off a bridge and couldn't escape from her car.)

Anonymous said...

I think Emma needs to quit watching Terminator and start watching MacGyver again.

Anonymous said...

Hey Fezzie,

That Life Hammer is interesting and I might have BP buy me one, but I don't think it would stand up to a cyborg


--

emma

Anonymous said...

Emma, it's to break the window! Ha Kath that was funny. Macgyver would definitely find a way out.