This followed me home Mom, can I keep it?

 

Thank yew

Today LP and I are going to my nephew and niece’s birthday party cookout. He’s two and she’s four. For E. Claire we bought an array of Hello Kitty things. She’s also into Strawberry Shortcake. How long as Strawberry Shortcake been around? I remember her from when my sister was young!
For Rossie it’s bath stuff (I know….he’ll love it) and a firetruck. This kid is the happiest, most content, child I’ve ever been around. I think he’s the 15th incarnation of the Dali Lama. Nothing upsets him (except ear infections.) He’s just a very pleasant kid. We’re also giving their older brother (who is eight) ten bucks so he won’t feel left out. I know there is some controversy about bringing something to all the kids in the family when one has a birthday, but oh well.


Yesterday I was on the porch potting up some white wave petunias and some other type of tall spikey thing with tiny white flowers (the tag just said “tropical flower”.) I was hot, sweaty and dirty. These three preteens in dresses come up the walkway. I see them out of the corner of my eye. “Oh, shit,” I thought.
Girls: We’re from the Temple Baptist Church. Do you want a tract?
(holding out a paper)
Me: No thanks. (looking back down at my pots)
Girls: We’re in your neighborhood today to invite you to one of our services.
Me: Thanks, but no. (pleasantly, believe it or not) I’m busy right now.

Two of the girls seemed to take the hint, but one said, “If you die tonight will you go to our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ?”

Me: Sorry, but my beliefs are no one’s business but my own.

I did my best Det. Brenda Johnson of The Closer voice and said “Thank yewww.”

I wanted to ask them each for a lock of hair for a special Wiccan ceremony that was taking place at midnight, but I thought better of it.

I detest proselytizers of any religion

delicious

Bond No 9 "Peace"
My sister bought me some of this stuff at Sak's
Two words:

De Licious

Last Night's Weird Dream

I was working in a bookstore. It was closing time—9pm and people would not leave. I was getting pissed. “It’s 9 pm, I’ve worked all day and I want to go home!”
Customers kept dilly-dally. It was 10pm when I finally got the doors closed. I was walking home when out of the blue a most-gorgeous, tall and dark-haired man and his beautifully dressed mother (?!!), walked by and offered to buy me a drink. We ducked into a nearby bar, ordered drinks and started talking. He said he and his mother belonged to this church and he wanted me to join. I said, “Hell, no! I don’t want to join your church!”
The mother whacked out and started babbling in some ancient type language (I think I offended her.) The man was trying to calm her down and at the same time turned to me and said, “Well then do you just want to fuck?”
Cheers!

For Lubee

Lubee wanted to see a picture of me. Lulu, here we are: Me, BP and Liam dressed in drag. This was snapped before we left for church. Enjoy!

 

Contest

Create a caption 

Orange lily. Picasa2 is fun. Thanks Tree!


 

Annoying and Cloying

Entertainment Weekly did an online survey and wanted people to name the most annoying/useless television character. Some named real people: Kathy Lee Gifford for her non stop yakking about precious Cody and her stud husband Frank, Tammy Faye Bakker, Donald Trump. But most named fictional characters: Alf, Steve Urkel, etc.

I nominate Ralph Malph from Happy Days, the neighbor from Home Improvement who was only seen from his eyes up, Fantasy Island’s Tattoo, Love Boat’s Vicki Stubing, and Punky Brewster. All annoying, cloying and useless.

Neccos and Gene Wilder

I was eating Neccos as we watched The Producers (I'd rate it a C+--Will Ferrell as Franz Liebkind stole his every scene) on DVD last night. My favorite colors from BEST to WORST are:

Brown
Orange
Green
Yellow
Purple
White
Pink
Black

Today is Gene Wilder's 73rd Birthday. Happy Birthday to Gene! He's one of the best comedic actors alive.