Refinancing

I hate mortgage companies and banks.
We're refinancing because I want to consolidate our debt and renovate the house (I blame Schell and Verb for this.)
We've been back and forth and back and forth on what the mortgage company needs. We think we've given them everything they need, but no . . .they want a copy of our marriage license, they want an additional month of bank statements yada yada yada.
Today the appraisor called and said the mortgage company wants pictures of the interior of our house and can we set up a time?
Ok, but do they want a picture of a clean and tidy house or the "lived in look." If it's the former that means I have to tidy up today. Shit fire and save matches.

"I don't want people to suck up to me because they think I can advance their career; I want people to suck up to me because they really like me."

Words of wisdom

Mostly for Tree, the Monkey Geek

Meredith at the Golden Globes

I'm Appalled (Again)

There's a new Target commercial that bastardizes the beloved Beatles' "Hello, Goodbye" song but clever Ad Men that they are, when "Goodbye" is sung they flash the word "Goodbuy" on the screen. GIT IT??? . . . Good bye . . . goodbuy? sigh.

And what makes it even worse is that the tune is sung "buy" a chick who sounds like she's drug-addled and Stepford Wifeish.

I bet the ad agency Big Boys sat around a huge conference table simultaneously high-fiving and jacking each other off in a congratulatory flourish after that ad was approved by the Powers That Be.

Golden Globes

The Golden Globes award show last night was boring with a capital B. Meryl Streep was fantastic as usual--no wonder industry people love her. She told us all to go to our theater managers and "politely" inquire as to why our small theaters don't show these first rate-but-in-limited-release movies (ie. Volver, Pan's Labrinyth, etc.) when she pulled out her speech, someone in the audience must have groaned because she said, "Oh, shut up. It isn't that long." She put on her glasses and looked around the theater, "Yes. I've worked with everyone here." haha..
Hugh Laurie was funny as usual.
Alec Baldwin was mildly amusing.
And I always love seeing Dustin Hoffman.
But that was about it. No hilarious Steve Carell speech.
Warren Beatty went on WAY too long. He must not allow Annette Bening to drink at home because she was sure as hell enjoying that champagne all night.
I don't watch "Ugly Betty" so I could give a shit about that show winning.
I don't watch "Grey's Anatomy" so I could not care less about McDreamy McSteamy or McDumbass.
Reese Witherspoon looked good in the yellow dress but someone should have given her a mirror to smooth her hair before going on stage.
Tiny Fey looked good for being Tina Fey. That dress looked very Barbie circa 1950.
Jennifer Hudson looked good, but she sounded as dumb as a rock.
Poor Prince, he won one of the early awards but was "stuck in traffice" so he wasn't there to accept. Too bad, so sad.


Okay, so I watched the red carpet stuff too. And may I just say one thing? I've said it before and it's my pet peeve.
You're an actor/actress of some stature (You're working, for crissakes) so ACT like you want to be there. Don't ACT like it's a chore to stop and talk to Joan Rivers, or Ryan Seacrest (blech) or Guilana DePandi. I'm talking about YOU Angelina Jolie. She was so fucking glum, it was disgusting. She looked guilty about being there with Brad--like Jennifer Aniston was going to jump out of the bushes and smackdown on her ass. You were with Brad Pitt, Dumbass. You could smile, enjoy the moment, instead of looking like you were planning your next trip to the Congo to adopt a kid. That kind of attitude frosts me. Brad, on the other hand, was very charming to people. He needs to ditch that big-lipped, tattooed, nutso, blood-drinking, broad.

Renee Zellweger. Oy vey. She's another one. What happened to her? Is she on drugs or was her girdle too tight? Her face was set it that "Ewww.....did someone just fart" way. Renee, loosen up and get off the cocaine, or meth, or whatever you're on. She's so Melania Trump, but Melania Trump has an excuse for looking pitiful--she's married to the Combover Man.

Jennifer Lopez was nice to the interviewers, but I was hoping she and Ben Affleck would pass one another on the way in, and Jennifer Garner could Alias-kick her on her cellulited ass.

The little girl from Little Miss Sunshine was cute. Seacrest asked her a question she didn't want to answer so she brought up her purse and said, "Look at this!" and the front of the purse opened to reveal a mirror . . . such a ten year old (or however old she is) thing to do. It was very cute.

Vanessa Williams was so un-PC! She was wearing a fur stole! Where were those PETA people with their bucket of blood?

MLK, Jr Day, Teenagers, Potato Soup and Abortions

Happy Day Off. I told LP last night that it's ironic that kids don't have to go to school today, because King was so very pro-education. He knew that education was the only way out of poverty and he urged children to get as much education as possible. So what happens on MLK, Jr. Day? No school for kids. The way of the world.

If there was ever a national holiday for me, I want it to be in May or June, when the weather is good and people can get their fat asses outside and do something nice. You can't go on a picnic on January 15th. (Shaddup Bert and Lubee--out there in warm weather States)

Anyway, I made a wonderful leek, carrot and potato soup yesterday and I'll have leftovers for lunch today. I'll feed some to LP if he's home from running around with his friends. BP will be home tonight, and he'll get something special.


"What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. Theyignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions.Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?" This is attributed to either Socrates or Plato and I don't care which one, if either, said it. It was true when and it's true now. Blech.


I read today that two Indiana legislators are introducing a bill that before an abortion is performed, the doctor would have to counsel the woman that "life begins at conception" and "the fetus feels pain." South Dakota already has a law like this? What the fuck is wrong with people?

Lawmakers: Keep your nose out of our collective vagina! I sent a YouTube clip of Wanda Sykes to Tree. Wanda says the no one is "pro-abortion, they're Pro-Choice." Women don't get together and say, Gurrrl, let's do something crazy today! Let's go have abortions! You in?

What this winter's been so far

Rain rain rain rain rain rain rain rain

I'm getting a feeling for how it would be like living in the Pacific Northwest

My yard is saturated and I haven't even made it out to the birdfeeders to put fresh sunflower seeds in. What's the use? It'll get all wet and caked together anyway.

Ice is on the way! Blech. I saw some pictures of ice-covered automobiles in Oklahoma. It looks bad. And dangerous. Apparently Oklahoma has for-shit weather: Either it's dry and dusty, rainy and tornadoey, or sleet and icy. My sister and B-I-L used to live in Stillwater and she said I'm right on target.

I'm going to try and go to the grocery store before this afternoon. I need bread and kosher salt. What a combo.

I'm glad I don't have to work tomorrow.

Oh, I sent an email to Ed Begley telling him I enjoyed his new show (Living with Ed, in case you didn't read my post about it) and to be careful up on the roof. He emailed me back with:

"Thank you so much!

You made my day.

And, I promise I’ll be careful up there!

Ed"

It's on tonight at 10, and his guest star will be Jay Leno. I used to like Leno, now I detest him, but I'll still watch Ed.