Thursday, June 15, 2006
For Lubee
Lubee wanted to see a picture of me. Lulu, here we are: Me, BP and Liam dressed in drag. This was snapped before we left for church. Enjoy!
Monday, June 12, 2006
Annoying and Cloying
Entertainment Weekly did an online survey and wanted people to name the most annoying/useless television character. Some named real people: Kathy Lee Gifford for her non stop yakking about precious Cody and her stud husband Frank, Tammy Faye Bakker, Donald Trump. But most named fictional characters: Alf, Steve Urkel, etc.
I nominate Ralph Malph from Happy Days, the neighbor from Home Improvement who was only seen from his eyes up, Fantasy Island’s Tattoo, Love Boat’s Vicki Stubing, and Punky Brewster. All annoying, cloying and useless.
I nominate Ralph Malph from Happy Days, the neighbor from Home Improvement who was only seen from his eyes up, Fantasy Island’s Tattoo, Love Boat’s Vicki Stubing, and Punky Brewster. All annoying, cloying and useless.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Neccos and Gene Wilder
I was eating Neccos as we watched The Producers (I'd rate it a C+--Will Ferrell as Franz Liebkind stole his every scene) on DVD last night. My favorite colors from BEST to WORST are:
Brown
Orange
Green
Yellow
Purple
White
Pink
Black
Today is Gene Wilder's 73rd Birthday. Happy Birthday to Gene! He's one of the best comedic actors alive.
Friday, June 09, 2006
This is the time of year when the graduation announcements come in droves. Friends, relatives, friends of friends, co-workers’ children, etc. etc. etc. For most, I just send a graduation card. Why should I dole out money to a co-worker’s kid who I’ve met once when the kid was nine? All of a sudden the kid is 18 and a high school graduate and I’m supposed to buy him a gift or send him money.
My husband’s niece just graduated high school. She lives in Atlanta and she sent us an announcement. Or, to be more precise, her mother sent us an announcement. The kid is pleasant enough, is going to a bible college in the fall, but since I married BP almost seven years ago, I’ve seen her once. I bought a cute card at Target and enclosed an “atta girl!” sentiment along with a check for twenty-five dollars. I thought it was adequate, but BP (WHOSE SIGNATURE ON THE CARD I HAD TO FORGE BY THE WAY) said, “You should have sent $50.” FIFTY!!?? wtf? For high school? I thought $25 was generous for a high school gift. True or false?
My husband’s niece just graduated high school. She lives in Atlanta and she sent us an announcement. Or, to be more precise, her mother sent us an announcement. The kid is pleasant enough, is going to a bible college in the fall, but since I married BP almost seven years ago, I’ve seen her once. I bought a cute card at Target and enclosed an “atta girl!” sentiment along with a check for twenty-five dollars. I thought it was adequate, but BP (WHOSE SIGNATURE ON THE CARD I HAD TO FORGE BY THE WAY) said, “You should have sent $50.” FIFTY!!?? wtf? For high school? I thought $25 was generous for a high school gift. True or false?
Thursday, June 08, 2006
V is for Vicodin
Since LP’s surgery my days are all mixed up. Everyday seems either like a Saturday or a Sunday. Today we have an appointment with his general practioner—just to keep him updated. I’m taking all of LP’s prescriptions and see if we can ditch some. Since he’s pooping regularly (I’ll pause here so you can applaud!) I don’t think he needs the stool softener anymore.
His doctor at Riley said that if he can manage his pain, that I should wean him off the Vicodin and just give him ibuprofen. I’ve been doing that. Liam has been saying that all food tastes “funny” and it “pisses me off!” Sigh. But yesterday he didn’t have any Vicodin and the chow tasted better, so I wonder if that’s a side effect of the V. Anyone know?
He’s also taking a diuretic and a pill that retains potassium because the diuretic makes it go bye-bye in his system. He’ll probably still have to take both of them until next month when we see his surgeon again.
He really has made a remarkable recovery. How do I know this? Because he’s tired of being at home, wants to get out and walk around the mall and is back to playing the stupid idiotic X Box game that he likes. I have a summer reading list for him, so I’m sure he’ll loooooove it when we start on that!
I’m thinking about allowing him to accompany blu on her trip to Greece. I’m sure they’ll both cherish that trip!
I saw Respighi made a mean comment on my cat picture—but I’m glad to see her. I haven’t seen evidence of her existence for a long while.
His doctor at Riley said that if he can manage his pain, that I should wean him off the Vicodin and just give him ibuprofen. I’ve been doing that. Liam has been saying that all food tastes “funny” and it “pisses me off!” Sigh. But yesterday he didn’t have any Vicodin and the chow tasted better, so I wonder if that’s a side effect of the V. Anyone know?
He’s also taking a diuretic and a pill that retains potassium because the diuretic makes it go bye-bye in his system. He’ll probably still have to take both of them until next month when we see his surgeon again.
He really has made a remarkable recovery. How do I know this? Because he’s tired of being at home, wants to get out and walk around the mall and is back to playing the stupid idiotic X Box game that he likes. I have a summer reading list for him, so I’m sure he’ll loooooove it when we start on that!
I’m thinking about allowing him to accompany blu on her trip to Greece. I’m sure they’ll both cherish that trip!
I saw Respighi made a mean comment on my cat picture—but I’m glad to see her. I haven’t seen evidence of her existence for a long while.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
What's in bloom
I think these are called lollipop lillies--or something like that. I should have marked them. Anyway they're nice.
Monday, June 05, 2006
cat on a catalog
Here is the cutest kitty in the world making herself comfortable on my living room coffee table, sitting on a plant catalog. She got a brand new "safe cat" pink collar with a pink bell. She's stylin'.
My favorite 1987 era female detective
I just finished Sue Grafton’s S is for Silence. As you know Grafton’s alphabet books feature insurance detective Kinsey Milhone. I really wish Bert still read these blogs because I’d like his take on this installment. I loved it. It was one of Grafton’s better ones. Most of Kinsey’s adventures are enjoyable (except the M or P one—I forget now. But one of those really stank)
The main character in S isn’t Kinsey, it’s a dead woman named Violet Sullivan. She wondered off in 1953, and her emotionally blotto daughter Daisy hires Kinsey to see what happened to her. The book alternates between 1953 and Kinsey’s present day of 1987.
What else did I like about S? No mention of Kinsey’s hack job-of-a-haircut. No mention of her all purpose black dress. Grafton does, however, again (and again) remind us that Kinsey loves a quarter pounder with cheese more than life itself.
This Kinsey Milhone case gets an A-
The main character in S isn’t Kinsey, it’s a dead woman named Violet Sullivan. She wondered off in 1953, and her emotionally blotto daughter Daisy hires Kinsey to see what happened to her. The book alternates between 1953 and Kinsey’s present day of 1987.
What else did I like about S? No mention of Kinsey’s hack job-of-a-haircut. No mention of her all purpose black dress. Grafton does, however, again (and again) remind us that Kinsey loves a quarter pounder with cheese more than life itself.
This Kinsey Milhone case gets an A-
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Little Puddin
Thanks for all of you who asked/emailed about LP. His surgery was on Tuesday and he came through like a trooper. During his hospital stay he gave his nurses a hard time questioning everything they did--and removing his catheter was not a pleasant time.
He was released today at noon and he and BP just went to the video store. He’s on five meds and we revisit his surgeon next month.
He can’t overexert himself this summer and can’t lift more than a gallon of milk. So lawn mowing is out for the rest of the season.
He’s not eating a lot yet, and we’re still waiting for him to poop. I’ll keep you updated on that scenario.
He was released today at noon and he and BP just went to the video store. He’s on five meds and we revisit his surgeon next month.
He can’t overexert himself this summer and can’t lift more than a gallon of milk. So lawn mowing is out for the rest of the season.
He’s not eating a lot yet, and we’re still waiting for him to poop. I’ll keep you updated on that scenario.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Hotter than hell
It's hotter than hell. 84 degrees and a heat index of 96. Heavy humidity. And what was I doing? Planting Shasta daisies. My daisies burned out last year, and they're such happy flowers I wanted to plant some more. Plus every garden should have some white flowers.
Here is a picture of the soil I was amending for said daisies.
The red poppy is my pride and joy. I have never have luck with poppies but I love them.
The poppy head that looks like a hairy ballsac (maybe Basil's?) is destined to be an orange poppy. I think it's called Prince William.
The picture of that pink flower is a Mystery Flower. I remember planting some bulbs last fall among the purple coneflowers that are taking over part of the garden, but I can't remember the name of them. I almost never plant the name stake alongside the plant or bulb because I invariably say, "I'll remember what that is!" Yeah, right.
Friday, May 26, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Pictures
Here are some recent pictures. Meme the picture of my emerging lupines is for you :)
The others are of some of my containers.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Walking
What I saw on my after dinner walk:
Five dogs
One rabbit
One squirrel
Two cardinals
Three sparrows
A goldfinch
Two ducks
One Canadian goose
Three children
A man hauling paver stones for his patio
One jogger and
An old couple holding hands
I just got home from a two day meeting near Louisville. The “entertainment” was gambling at the Caesar’s boat. I won $350. Woohoo
Five dogs
One rabbit
One squirrel
Two cardinals
Three sparrows
A goldfinch
Two ducks
One Canadian goose
Three children
A man hauling paver stones for his patio
One jogger and
An old couple holding hands
I just got home from a two day meeting near Louisville. The “entertainment” was gambling at the Caesar’s boat. I won $350. Woohoo
Sunday, May 21, 2006
The DaVinci Code Review
I understand critics are raking it over the coals, but BP and I saw The DaVinci Code last night and we enjoyed it. Is it the greatest movie ever made? No, but it was enjoyable. I think it’s a hard book to translate onto the screen, but Ron Howard did an admirable job. With the use of fade outs and narration, all the “talky” history parts of the book were dealt with. Tom Hanks was alright, as Hanks always is. Audrey Tautou is absolutely adorable. I loved her in Amelie, and I liked her in this one. Ian McKellen stole every scene he was in. And Paul Bettany, who played Silas the monk, was appropriately scary. Jean Reno--the guy who played the French head detective guy--was wonderful.
The sets were well done, with an extra nod at the Louvre playting itself.
My butt did not get tired watching the two hour and a half movie, so I give it an A-
The sets were well done, with an extra nod at the Louvre playting itself.
My butt did not get tired watching the two hour and a half movie, so I give it an A-
Saturday, May 20, 2006
I Wish I Would Have Attended
This morning I got up and made coffee. No one else was up yet so I went into the living room and flipped on the television. After surfing and stopping by the Bare Essentuals infomercial, and some exercise infomercial with big-lipped Lisa Rinna, I landed on CSpan 2. They were broadcasting live from the America BookExpo in Washington DC. I could have gone again this year (remember a few years ago, I attended in Chicago where I saw, heard and groped the hand of Bill Clinton when his My Story was due to debut?) Such memories. I should have gone this year. Sigh.
Anyway, today at the Author Breakfast, I heard Amy Sedaris and John Updike. I think I missed Barack Obama. But Sedaris and Updike . . .what a combo, eh? She’s the sister of David Sedaris and hilarious in her own right. Updike, instead of discussing his new book Terrorist, instead chose to talk about books and booksellers. He made me misty-eyed. He talked of a time before the huge superstore bookstores that sell high priced coffee (no offense Respighi). . .of a time of neighborhood bookshops, of college bookstores, of the looks and smells of books, and of booksellers who actual know and read books! CSpan replays everything, so try and catch this sometime.
Anyway, today at the Author Breakfast, I heard Amy Sedaris and John Updike. I think I missed Barack Obama. But Sedaris and Updike . . .what a combo, eh? She’s the sister of David Sedaris and hilarious in her own right. Updike, instead of discussing his new book Terrorist, instead chose to talk about books and booksellers. He made me misty-eyed. He talked of a time before the huge superstore bookstores that sell high priced coffee (no offense Respighi). . .of a time of neighborhood bookshops, of college bookstores, of the looks and smells of books, and of booksellers who actual know and read books! CSpan replays everything, so try and catch this sometime.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Are you tired, run-down, listless: For Spidey
Lucy Does a TV Commercial # 31
Original Air Date: May 5, 1952
Unofficial Transcript
Transcript By: Jeffrey Thomason
(START SHOW - LIVING ROOM)
RICKY: Hi honey.
LUCY: Hi.
RICKY: What are you doing?
LUCY: Darning your socks.
RICKY: Well, good for you... I didn’t know you knew how to darn.
LUCY: Oh sure, there’s nothing to it, especially if you have a darning egg. Boy you should’ve seen the hole in this ones, taking me a half hour to sow it up.
RICKY: Hmm!
LUCY: There. Darn it I sowed up the top.
RICKY: (LAUGHS) Oh Lucy, your amazing.
LUCY: Oh well, I’ll just have to rip it out.
RICKY: NO NO! Don’t do that.
LUCY: Why?
RICKY: I can use it as a blackjack.
LUCY: Oh! Give me that now... I gotta fix it.
RICKY: (LAUGHS) Oh dear.
LUCY: Honey, where are you going?
RICKY: I’m going to rehearsal honey.
LUCY: Again! You’ve been to rehearsal everyday for a week.
RICKY: I know but I can’t help it.
LUCY: Wouldn’t it be easier to get good musicians?
RICKY: Please... no discouraging remarks.
LUCY: (LAUGHS)
(PHONE RINGS)
RICKY: I’ll get it, I’ll get it. Hello, oh hello Jerry... well my goodness Jerry there must be millions of girls who want to take this job, oh look Jerry don’t I have enough troubles putting the whole television show together without having to look for a girl to do the commercial. (LUCY OVERHEARS) Uh... um (SPEAKS IN SPANISH)
LUCY: (INTERRUPTS) Never mind, Never mind, I know what your talking about. What about a television show Ricky?
RICKY: Wait a minute, alright Jerry I’ll get the girl to do the commercial. Good bye. (HANGS UP)
LUCY: Well?
RICKY: Well, I’m gonna do a television show that’s all, and you can not be on it.
LUCY: Ah Ricky please. Just let me do the commercial.
RICKY: Nothing doing.
LUCY: Why not?
RICKY: Look honey, this is too big a chance for me, I need someone with a lot of sperience.
LUCY: Well, I’ve had sperience.
RICKY: You’ve never even been on a television show.
LUCY: Well maybe not but I watched them a lot.
RICKY: (CHUCKLES) There is a slight difference.
LUCY: Ah now Ricky
RICKY: I’m sorry honey, I got to go now. I’ll see you later.
LUCY: Ohhhh!
RICKY: ...Ohhhh
(FRED ENTERS)
FRED: Hi Lucy.
LUCY: Hi.
FRED: Need any work done up here? Ethel’s gone to see her mother for a couple of days and I got a lot of time.
LUCY: Ethel’s gone and you want to work?
FRED: Yeah, it seems, loafing isn’t any fun unless she’s nagging at me to get some work done. (LAUGHS)
LUCY: Well, there’s nothing to do up here unless you wanna job knocking some since into Ricky’s head.
FRED: What’s the matter?
LUCY: Well he’s gonna MC a big television show, and they need a girl to do the commercial, now you know how good I am at that.
FRED: Oh sure, I’ve seen you do a 100 television commercials.
LUCY: Well, I would be good if somebody'd ever give me a chance.
FRED: Now why don’t you just relax and forget the whole thing.
LUCY: Gee, if there was only some way Ricky could see me on television.
FRED: Well, now maybe you'd qualify as a lady wrestler.
LUCY: Wait a minute, wait a minute. I've got it. I know what I'm gonna do.
FRED: What?
LUCY: Well listen, when Ricky comes home tonight. I'm not gonna be here, but YOU are.
FRED: Oh I am huh?
LUCY: Yeah and your gonna turn on the television set... and you know who's gonna be on it?
FRED: Well I can only hope its Faye Emerson.
LUCY: No no. Its gonna be me.
FRED: Well how you gonna work that out?
LUCY: Never mind, you just turn on that set and leave the rest to me, ok Buster!
(NEW SCENE – LIVING ROOM)
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Well hello Fred.
FRED: Oh hi Rick.
RICKY: Where’s Lucy?
FRED: I don’t know, I came up to watch your television ours is on the blink.
RICKY: Oh...
FRED: And there’s a wonderful show coming on just about now.
RICKY: At 23 minutes after four?
FRED: Yeah, now set down there. I want you to watch it. You’ll enjoy it.
(LUCY APPEARS IN TV)
LUCY: Call for Philip Morris!
RICKY: Aye aye aye aye aye aye aye.
FRED: Look, look Rick that’s Lucy, she’s on television.
RICKY: Yeah, how bout’ that. I can't, I can't get over how clear the picture is.
FRED: Yeah.
LUCY: Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. (DROPS CIGARETTES OUT OF TV)
RICKY: We’ll whata you know third dimensional television.
FRED: Yeah.
LUCY: Shh, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. Philip Morris America's most enjoyable cigarette presents the Lucy Ricardo Show! Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah!
RICKY: I don’t think this is such a hot show Fred. I think I’ll get another station.
FRED: Oh.
LUCY: As our first offering this evening we... STOP that now go back and sit down.
RICKY: That’s very funny now come on outa there.
LUCY: As our first offerings this evening we present...
RICKY: (KNOCKS ON TV) Lucy I said come on outa there.
LUCY: As our first offering this evening we present that inevitable personality, that talented performer, that versatile entertainer, Lucy Ricardo...
(RICKY PLUGS TV IN)
LUCY: AHH! Ah, ah, ah, ah, Ricky! Ricky what are you trying to do? Are you crazy or something? What are you trying to do barbeque me!
RICKY: I’m sorry
LUCY: Are you really sorry?
RICKY: Of course I’m really (LAUGHS) sorry...
LUCY: Are you truly sorry?
RICKY: Yeahhh...
LUCY: Are you sorry enough to let me do the commercial?
RICKY: No...
LUCY: Ooh, why not?
RICKY: Look honey even if I wanted to give you the job I couldn’t, I already hired another girl.
LUCY: Oooh...
RICKY: Say... what did you do with all the works?
LUCY: I took em’ out.
RICKY: Well, I can see that but where is it?
LUCY: IT?
RICKY: Yeah, the chasse it slides right out.
LUCY: All in one piece?
RICKY: Yeah all in one piece...
LUCY: Eeeeyuaaa (TRADEMARK SOUND)
RICKY: What do you mean Eeeeyuaaa
LUCY: Well...
RICKY: Lucy, what have you done?
(LUCY EXITS)
LUCY: Well I didn’t know it all came out together.
RICKY: Sooo...
(LUCY ENTERS WITH PARTS)
LUCY: Sooo I took it out one piece at a time.
RICKY: Ahh no! ahh no!
(NEW SCENE - BEDROOM)
RICKY: Lucy I got to be at the television rehearsal in half an hour, my breakfast ready?
(SILENCE)
RICKY: Are you still not speaking to me?
(...SILENCE)
RICKY: Look I don’t care if you don’t want to talk to me or not but please get up and fix my breakfast...
(...SILENCE)
RICKY: I need my strength... Lucy are you gonna fix my breakfast or not?... what do you want me to do starve to death?
LUCY: Would you, please?
RICKY: Look I had a perfect right to ball you out. Putting that television set together is gonna cost a fortune, maybe more.
LUCY: I'm glad its broken.
RICKY: Glad?
LUCY: Yes now I won't have to look at your silly Cuban mug on that show tonight.
RICKY: (SPEAKING SPANISH) (DIALS PHONE) Hello, oh Fred? Could you come up for a minute please? Senora Ricardo and I are not speaking to each other, and I'd like you to do me a favor thank you Fred. (HANGS UP)
(LIVING ROOM)
(FRED ENTERS)
FRED: Hi Rick what do you want.
RICKY: Well, listen Fred, I Gotta go to rehearsal right away and um I'm expecting a very important phone call, and Lucy's mad at me. So would you please stay here and give someone a message?
FRED: Sure...
(LUCY’S OVER LISTENING)
RICKY: Well the girl that is gonna do the television commercial is gonna call. Now you tell her to be at Studio Ten Television Center at one o’ clock this after noon.
FRED: Alright.
RICKY: Thanks a lot Fred.
FRED: Your welcome.
(RICKY EXITS)
(LUCY ENTERS YAWNING)
LUCY: Oh hello Fred. What are you doing here?
FRED: Oh hi, Ricky asked me to wait here and take a telephone message. He told me that you two aren’t speaking to each other.
LUCY: (CHUCKLES) Oh well, I’ll take the call Fred its silly to have you wait up here.
FRED: Alright it’s ah from the girl who’s doing the commercial on Ricky’s television show tonight. And he wants her to be sure and get the message. Now you won’t mind this Lucy?
LUCY: Oh no not at all... Television Center, Studio Ten, one o’ clock.
FRED: Yeah... Wait, how did you know that?
LUCY: Oh, well that’s where Ricky does all his television shows.
FRED: Ohh... well I’ll see you later.
LUCY: Ok.
FRED: Bye.
LUCY: Bye.
(FRED EXITS)
(PHONE RINGS)
LUCY: Hello? Oh no Mr. Ricardo isn’t here. Oh yes, yes he wanted me to give you a message. He said to tell you that he’s very sorry but they already hired another girl to do the commercial, and they won't be needing you after all... good bye. (HANGS UP)... diddaly diddaly dee
(NEW SCENE – STUDIO)
DIRECTOR: Ok Joe, I’m ready to rehearse the commercial where’s the girl?
STAGE HAND: She’s studding her script she’ll be right in here.
DIRECTOR: This the new sponsor?
STAGE HAND: Yeah.
DIRECTOR: Stuff any good?
STAGE HAND: Well, it oughta be it’s got everything in it. Meat, vegetables, minerals, vitamins...
DIRECTOR: Wonder where she is...
(PRODUCER WALKS AWAY)
STAGE HAND: Alcohol 23%... ALCOHOL 23%!
(OTHER END OF STAGE)
(LUCY ENTERS)
DIRECTOR: Oh!
LUCY: Oh
DIRECTOR: Are you the young lady that’s gonna do the commercial?
LUCY: Yes sir
DIRECTOR: Well I’m Ross Kellies the Director.
LUCY: Oh, how do you do I’m Lucille uh Mcgillicutty.
DIRECTOR: Ricky sure knows how to pick em’.
LUCY: Ohh! Well thank you.
DIRECTOR: You know your lines yet?
LUCY: Well, I think so.
DIRECTOR: Well lets run though it once.
LUCY: Alright.
DIRECTOR: Now you stand right over here.
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Now lets try it once and remember be bright and vivacious .
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Alright, Maury! Will you stand by with the script please?... alright...
LUCY: (CLEARS THROAT) Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle.
DIRECTOR: Now you pick up the bottle.
LUCY: Oh!
DIRECTOR: A little higher, that’s right.
LUCY: The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle Vitameatavegamin, Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, vegetables, and minerals, yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health! All you do is take a tablespoon full after every meal.
DIRECTOR: Now you take some.
LUCY: Oh... It’s so tasty too! (TAKES SOME, MAKES FACE)... It’s just like candy.
DIRECTOR: No no no no, look you’re supposed to like the stuff. You’ve got to smile, be happy.
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Now try again.
LUCY: Yes sir... its so tasty too! (TAKES SOME, FIGHTS TO SMILE), just like candy.
DIRECTOR: Nope! Once more.
LUCY: Its so tasty too! (TAKES SOME) its just like candy.
DIRECTOR: That’s going to be fine. You, you just go ahead.
LUCY: OK... so why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow that’s vita-meata-vegamin.
DIRECTOR: Ah! That’s fine, fine, now you got the feeling now I'd like you to try it once more this time faster and brighter.
LUCY: Faster and brighter, yes sir.
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Hi Ross.
DIRECTOR: Oh hello Ricky.
RICKY: Hi Lucy, I want to see about that number...
LUCY: Hi...
RICKY: And what may I ask are you doing here?
DIRECTOR: Well, she’s gonna do the commercial.
RICKY: She’s gonna do the commercial?
DIRECTOR: Yeah!
RICKY: What did you do to the girl that was supposed to be here?... now Lucy I told you you couldn’t do the commercial... now what’s the big idea, Lucy what have you got to say for yourself?
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, list...
RICKY: Never mind, never mind, never mind, never mind that... now come on your going home.
DIRECTOR: Now wait a minute Ricky it’s too late to get anybody else, besides she’s pretty good.
RICKY: Oh sure, sure...
DIRECTOR: No I mean it, listen to her. You go ahead Ms. Mcgillicutty.
RICKY: Yeah go ahead Ms. Mcgillicutty.
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin, yes Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, vegetables, and minerals yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health. All you do is take a big tablespoon full after every meal (TAKES SOME) it’s so tasty too! Taste just like candy, so why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow that’s vita-meata-vegamin.
DIRECTOR: See what I mean.
RICKY: Alright you can do it tonight but only because we're in a spot and it’s late, understand?
LUCY: Yes sir... (HICCUPS) oh... pardon me.
RICKY: You better be good too.
LUCY: I will.
RICKY: I’ll go see abut that number Ross.
DIRECTOR: Ok.
(RICKY EXITS)
DIRECTOR: Now I’d like to do it once more this time from its so tasty too
LUCY: Its so tasty too.
DIRECTOR: That’s right.
LUCY: Yes sir... its so task too! (TAKES SOME) ...just like candy... you know this stuff tastes pretty good once you get used to it.
DIRECTOR: Yes I know, now would you go ahead, please its so tasty too
LUCY: Oh... It’s so tasty too (TAKES SOME)... so... so uh, I don’t know where to start unless I begin at the beginning.
DIRECTOR: Alright, start at the beginning.
LUCY: Oh, thank you... Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this bittle lottle... uh little bottle, uh Vitameatavegamin... Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins meat vegetables and minerals, uh yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health. All you have to do is take a big tablespoon full after every meal (TAKES SOME) it’s so tasty too! Tastes like candy HONEST! (LAUGHS). So why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of mitameatamigamin... remember that name mitavatameatimac.
DIRECTOR: Ms. Mcgillicutty?
LUCY: Hm?
DIRECTOR: Are you feeling alright?
LUCY: Oh I feel fine but its awful hot in here, must be the lights.
(STAGE HAND ENTERS)
STAGE HAND: Hey Ross.
DIRECTOR: Yeah.
STAGE HAND: The audio man wants to get a level on her voice.
DIRECTOR: Oh... Ms. Mcgillicutty...
LUCY: Huh?
DIRECTOR: Would you mind doing it just once more please?
LUCY: Oh no sir it would be perfectly alright.
DIRECTOR: Thank you, ok in the control room! Now we're going to time it this time, ready?... GO!
(...SILENCE)
LUCY: You know you’re awfully nice.
DIRECTOR: Thank you, would you go ahead please?
LUCY: ...Well, I’m your vitavitevegivac girl, are you tired run-down listless? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular... well are you?... the answer to all your problems is in this little ol’ bottle. Vitameatavegamin, (LOOKS AT BOTTLE)... that’s it. Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, megitables, and vinerals... hmm (HICCUP). So why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of uh vita.. vetee... vee ...meany-miny-momy. I tell you what you have to do. You have to take a whole tablespoon full after every meal......(DRINKS OUT OF BOTTLE). Its so tasty too! It’s just like candy so everybody get a bottle of... this stuff.
DIRECTOR: Ms. Mcgillicutty?
LUCY: Hm?
DIRECTOR: Are you alright?
LUCY: Oh I feel fine but you know it’s HOT in here!
DIRECTOR: Well do you think you’ll be able to go on with the show?...(SILENCE)... well do you?
LUCY: What?
DIRECTOR: Joe? I think you'd better take a little rest until show time
LUCY: Yeah boy it sure is hot in here.
DIRECTOR: Joe would you take Ms. Mcgillicutty to one of the dressing rooms and let her rest until show time?
STAGE HAND: Well sure, come on Ms. Mcgillicutty.
LUCY: Joe is it hot in here to you... pardon me, (TURNS TOWARDS DIRECTOR) thank you you’re very nice you’ve been a perfect gentleman. Come on Joe.
(LUCY AND STAGE HAND EXIT)
(NEW SCENE)
STAGE HAND: Hey Ross?
DIRECTOR: Yeah.
STAGE HAND: Where’s that girl that's supposed to do the commercial? I can’t find her.
DIRECTOR: She’s taking a nap in one of the dressing rooms.
STAGE HAND: No she’s not I looked in the dressing rooms.
DIRECTOR: Well, find her and get Ricky out here we're on the air in 15 seconds.
STAGE HAND: Ok! Stand by everybody 15 seconds. Hey Ricky your on, Ricky?
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, alright, alright.
DIRECTOR: A little further back Ricky.
RICKY: further back, alright.
DIRECTOR: Little more... That’s it... stand by everybody.
RICKY: Good evening ladies and gentleman and welcome to your Saturday night variety. My name is Ricky Ricardo I’m your host for this evening. We have some wonderful acts and I think we're all gonna have alota fun. So if we may we like to start things off with a little music. Mr. Hatch if you please.
(RICKY SINGS IN SPANISH)
(LUCY ENTERS, NOTICES RICKY AND GOES TO HIM)
LUCY: Hi Fred, hi Ethel, hi, hi, hello.
(LUCY TRIES SINGING WITH RICKY)
RICKY: (LAUGHS COVERING EMBARRASSMENT) Very nice, very funny... (LAUGHS)
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your vitavetavigivac girl...
(RICKY PICKS UP LUCY AND CARIES HER OFF STAGE)
LUCY: ...Are you tired run-down listless? Do you poop-out at part...
(END SHOW)
Original Air Date: May 5, 1952
Unofficial Transcript
Transcript By: Jeffrey Thomason
(START SHOW - LIVING ROOM)
RICKY: Hi honey.
LUCY: Hi.
RICKY: What are you doing?
LUCY: Darning your socks.
RICKY: Well, good for you... I didn’t know you knew how to darn.
LUCY: Oh sure, there’s nothing to it, especially if you have a darning egg. Boy you should’ve seen the hole in this ones, taking me a half hour to sow it up.
RICKY: Hmm!
LUCY: There. Darn it I sowed up the top.
RICKY: (LAUGHS) Oh Lucy, your amazing.
LUCY: Oh well, I’ll just have to rip it out.
RICKY: NO NO! Don’t do that.
LUCY: Why?
RICKY: I can use it as a blackjack.
LUCY: Oh! Give me that now... I gotta fix it.
RICKY: (LAUGHS) Oh dear.
LUCY: Honey, where are you going?
RICKY: I’m going to rehearsal honey.
LUCY: Again! You’ve been to rehearsal everyday for a week.
RICKY: I know but I can’t help it.
LUCY: Wouldn’t it be easier to get good musicians?
RICKY: Please... no discouraging remarks.
LUCY: (LAUGHS)
(PHONE RINGS)
RICKY: I’ll get it, I’ll get it. Hello, oh hello Jerry... well my goodness Jerry there must be millions of girls who want to take this job, oh look Jerry don’t I have enough troubles putting the whole television show together without having to look for a girl to do the commercial. (LUCY OVERHEARS) Uh... um (SPEAKS IN SPANISH)
LUCY: (INTERRUPTS) Never mind, Never mind, I know what your talking about. What about a television show Ricky?
RICKY: Wait a minute, alright Jerry I’ll get the girl to do the commercial. Good bye. (HANGS UP)
LUCY: Well?
RICKY: Well, I’m gonna do a television show that’s all, and you can not be on it.
LUCY: Ah Ricky please. Just let me do the commercial.
RICKY: Nothing doing.
LUCY: Why not?
RICKY: Look honey, this is too big a chance for me, I need someone with a lot of sperience.
LUCY: Well, I’ve had sperience.
RICKY: You’ve never even been on a television show.
LUCY: Well maybe not but I watched them a lot.
RICKY: (CHUCKLES) There is a slight difference.
LUCY: Ah now Ricky
RICKY: I’m sorry honey, I got to go now. I’ll see you later.
LUCY: Ohhhh!
RICKY: ...Ohhhh
(FRED ENTERS)
FRED: Hi Lucy.
LUCY: Hi.
FRED: Need any work done up here? Ethel’s gone to see her mother for a couple of days and I got a lot of time.
LUCY: Ethel’s gone and you want to work?
FRED: Yeah, it seems, loafing isn’t any fun unless she’s nagging at me to get some work done. (LAUGHS)
LUCY: Well, there’s nothing to do up here unless you wanna job knocking some since into Ricky’s head.
FRED: What’s the matter?
LUCY: Well he’s gonna MC a big television show, and they need a girl to do the commercial, now you know how good I am at that.
FRED: Oh sure, I’ve seen you do a 100 television commercials.
LUCY: Well, I would be good if somebody'd ever give me a chance.
FRED: Now why don’t you just relax and forget the whole thing.
LUCY: Gee, if there was only some way Ricky could see me on television.
FRED: Well, now maybe you'd qualify as a lady wrestler.
LUCY: Wait a minute, wait a minute. I've got it. I know what I'm gonna do.
FRED: What?
LUCY: Well listen, when Ricky comes home tonight. I'm not gonna be here, but YOU are.
FRED: Oh I am huh?
LUCY: Yeah and your gonna turn on the television set... and you know who's gonna be on it?
FRED: Well I can only hope its Faye Emerson.
LUCY: No no. Its gonna be me.
FRED: Well how you gonna work that out?
LUCY: Never mind, you just turn on that set and leave the rest to me, ok Buster!
(NEW SCENE – LIVING ROOM)
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Well hello Fred.
FRED: Oh hi Rick.
RICKY: Where’s Lucy?
FRED: I don’t know, I came up to watch your television ours is on the blink.
RICKY: Oh...
FRED: And there’s a wonderful show coming on just about now.
RICKY: At 23 minutes after four?
FRED: Yeah, now set down there. I want you to watch it. You’ll enjoy it.
(LUCY APPEARS IN TV)
LUCY: Call for Philip Morris!
RICKY: Aye aye aye aye aye aye aye.
FRED: Look, look Rick that’s Lucy, she’s on television.
RICKY: Yeah, how bout’ that. I can't, I can't get over how clear the picture is.
FRED: Yeah.
LUCY: Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. (DROPS CIGARETTES OUT OF TV)
RICKY: We’ll whata you know third dimensional television.
FRED: Yeah.
LUCY: Shh, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. Philip Morris America's most enjoyable cigarette presents the Lucy Ricardo Show! Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah!
RICKY: I don’t think this is such a hot show Fred. I think I’ll get another station.
FRED: Oh.
LUCY: As our first offering this evening we... STOP that now go back and sit down.
RICKY: That’s very funny now come on outa there.
LUCY: As our first offerings this evening we present...
RICKY: (KNOCKS ON TV) Lucy I said come on outa there.
LUCY: As our first offering this evening we present that inevitable personality, that talented performer, that versatile entertainer, Lucy Ricardo...
(RICKY PLUGS TV IN)
LUCY: AHH! Ah, ah, ah, ah, Ricky! Ricky what are you trying to do? Are you crazy or something? What are you trying to do barbeque me!
RICKY: I’m sorry
LUCY: Are you really sorry?
RICKY: Of course I’m really (LAUGHS) sorry...
LUCY: Are you truly sorry?
RICKY: Yeahhh...
LUCY: Are you sorry enough to let me do the commercial?
RICKY: No...
LUCY: Ooh, why not?
RICKY: Look honey even if I wanted to give you the job I couldn’t, I already hired another girl.
LUCY: Oooh...
RICKY: Say... what did you do with all the works?
LUCY: I took em’ out.
RICKY: Well, I can see that but where is it?
LUCY: IT?
RICKY: Yeah, the chasse it slides right out.
LUCY: All in one piece?
RICKY: Yeah all in one piece...
LUCY: Eeeeyuaaa (TRADEMARK SOUND)
RICKY: What do you mean Eeeeyuaaa
LUCY: Well...
RICKY: Lucy, what have you done?
(LUCY EXITS)
LUCY: Well I didn’t know it all came out together.
RICKY: Sooo...
(LUCY ENTERS WITH PARTS)
LUCY: Sooo I took it out one piece at a time.
RICKY: Ahh no! ahh no!
(NEW SCENE - BEDROOM)
RICKY: Lucy I got to be at the television rehearsal in half an hour, my breakfast ready?
(SILENCE)
RICKY: Are you still not speaking to me?
(...SILENCE)
RICKY: Look I don’t care if you don’t want to talk to me or not but please get up and fix my breakfast...
(...SILENCE)
RICKY: I need my strength... Lucy are you gonna fix my breakfast or not?... what do you want me to do starve to death?
LUCY: Would you, please?
RICKY: Look I had a perfect right to ball you out. Putting that television set together is gonna cost a fortune, maybe more.
LUCY: I'm glad its broken.
RICKY: Glad?
LUCY: Yes now I won't have to look at your silly Cuban mug on that show tonight.
RICKY: (SPEAKING SPANISH) (DIALS PHONE) Hello, oh Fred? Could you come up for a minute please? Senora Ricardo and I are not speaking to each other, and I'd like you to do me a favor thank you Fred. (HANGS UP)
(LIVING ROOM)
(FRED ENTERS)
FRED: Hi Rick what do you want.
RICKY: Well, listen Fred, I Gotta go to rehearsal right away and um I'm expecting a very important phone call, and Lucy's mad at me. So would you please stay here and give someone a message?
FRED: Sure...
(LUCY’S OVER LISTENING)
RICKY: Well the girl that is gonna do the television commercial is gonna call. Now you tell her to be at Studio Ten Television Center at one o’ clock this after noon.
FRED: Alright.
RICKY: Thanks a lot Fred.
FRED: Your welcome.
(RICKY EXITS)
(LUCY ENTERS YAWNING)
LUCY: Oh hello Fred. What are you doing here?
FRED: Oh hi, Ricky asked me to wait here and take a telephone message. He told me that you two aren’t speaking to each other.
LUCY: (CHUCKLES) Oh well, I’ll take the call Fred its silly to have you wait up here.
FRED: Alright it’s ah from the girl who’s doing the commercial on Ricky’s television show tonight. And he wants her to be sure and get the message. Now you won’t mind this Lucy?
LUCY: Oh no not at all... Television Center, Studio Ten, one o’ clock.
FRED: Yeah... Wait, how did you know that?
LUCY: Oh, well that’s where Ricky does all his television shows.
FRED: Ohh... well I’ll see you later.
LUCY: Ok.
FRED: Bye.
LUCY: Bye.
(FRED EXITS)
(PHONE RINGS)
LUCY: Hello? Oh no Mr. Ricardo isn’t here. Oh yes, yes he wanted me to give you a message. He said to tell you that he’s very sorry but they already hired another girl to do the commercial, and they won't be needing you after all... good bye. (HANGS UP)... diddaly diddaly dee
(NEW SCENE – STUDIO)
DIRECTOR: Ok Joe, I’m ready to rehearse the commercial where’s the girl?
STAGE HAND: She’s studding her script she’ll be right in here.
DIRECTOR: This the new sponsor?
STAGE HAND: Yeah.
DIRECTOR: Stuff any good?
STAGE HAND: Well, it oughta be it’s got everything in it. Meat, vegetables, minerals, vitamins...
DIRECTOR: Wonder where she is...
(PRODUCER WALKS AWAY)
STAGE HAND: Alcohol 23%... ALCOHOL 23%!
(OTHER END OF STAGE)
(LUCY ENTERS)
DIRECTOR: Oh!
LUCY: Oh
DIRECTOR: Are you the young lady that’s gonna do the commercial?
LUCY: Yes sir
DIRECTOR: Well I’m Ross Kellies the Director.
LUCY: Oh, how do you do I’m Lucille uh Mcgillicutty.
DIRECTOR: Ricky sure knows how to pick em’.
LUCY: Ohh! Well thank you.
DIRECTOR: You know your lines yet?
LUCY: Well, I think so.
DIRECTOR: Well lets run though it once.
LUCY: Alright.
DIRECTOR: Now you stand right over here.
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Now lets try it once and remember be bright and vivacious .
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Alright, Maury! Will you stand by with the script please?... alright...
LUCY: (CLEARS THROAT) Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle.
DIRECTOR: Now you pick up the bottle.
LUCY: Oh!
DIRECTOR: A little higher, that’s right.
LUCY: The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle Vitameatavegamin, Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, vegetables, and minerals, yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health! All you do is take a tablespoon full after every meal.
DIRECTOR: Now you take some.
LUCY: Oh... It’s so tasty too! (TAKES SOME, MAKES FACE)... It’s just like candy.
DIRECTOR: No no no no, look you’re supposed to like the stuff. You’ve got to smile, be happy.
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Now try again.
LUCY: Yes sir... its so tasty too! (TAKES SOME, FIGHTS TO SMILE), just like candy.
DIRECTOR: Nope! Once more.
LUCY: Its so tasty too! (TAKES SOME) its just like candy.
DIRECTOR: That’s going to be fine. You, you just go ahead.
LUCY: OK... so why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow that’s vita-meata-vegamin.
DIRECTOR: Ah! That’s fine, fine, now you got the feeling now I'd like you to try it once more this time faster and brighter.
LUCY: Faster and brighter, yes sir.
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Hi Ross.
DIRECTOR: Oh hello Ricky.
RICKY: Hi Lucy, I want to see about that number...
LUCY: Hi...
RICKY: And what may I ask are you doing here?
DIRECTOR: Well, she’s gonna do the commercial.
RICKY: She’s gonna do the commercial?
DIRECTOR: Yeah!
RICKY: What did you do to the girl that was supposed to be here?... now Lucy I told you you couldn’t do the commercial... now what’s the big idea, Lucy what have you got to say for yourself?
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, list...
RICKY: Never mind, never mind, never mind, never mind that... now come on your going home.
DIRECTOR: Now wait a minute Ricky it’s too late to get anybody else, besides she’s pretty good.
RICKY: Oh sure, sure...
DIRECTOR: No I mean it, listen to her. You go ahead Ms. Mcgillicutty.
RICKY: Yeah go ahead Ms. Mcgillicutty.
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin, yes Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, vegetables, and minerals yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health. All you do is take a big tablespoon full after every meal (TAKES SOME) it’s so tasty too! Taste just like candy, so why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow that’s vita-meata-vegamin.
DIRECTOR: See what I mean.
RICKY: Alright you can do it tonight but only because we're in a spot and it’s late, understand?
LUCY: Yes sir... (HICCUPS) oh... pardon me.
RICKY: You better be good too.
LUCY: I will.
RICKY: I’ll go see abut that number Ross.
DIRECTOR: Ok.
(RICKY EXITS)
DIRECTOR: Now I’d like to do it once more this time from its so tasty too
LUCY: Its so tasty too.
DIRECTOR: That’s right.
LUCY: Yes sir... its so task too! (TAKES SOME) ...just like candy... you know this stuff tastes pretty good once you get used to it.
DIRECTOR: Yes I know, now would you go ahead, please its so tasty too
LUCY: Oh... It’s so tasty too (TAKES SOME)... so... so uh, I don’t know where to start unless I begin at the beginning.
DIRECTOR: Alright, start at the beginning.
LUCY: Oh, thank you... Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this bittle lottle... uh little bottle, uh Vitameatavegamin... Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins meat vegetables and minerals, uh yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health. All you have to do is take a big tablespoon full after every meal (TAKES SOME) it’s so tasty too! Tastes like candy HONEST! (LAUGHS). So why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of mitameatamigamin... remember that name mitavatameatimac.
DIRECTOR: Ms. Mcgillicutty?
LUCY: Hm?
DIRECTOR: Are you feeling alright?
LUCY: Oh I feel fine but its awful hot in here, must be the lights.
(STAGE HAND ENTERS)
STAGE HAND: Hey Ross.
DIRECTOR: Yeah.
STAGE HAND: The audio man wants to get a level on her voice.
DIRECTOR: Oh... Ms. Mcgillicutty...
LUCY: Huh?
DIRECTOR: Would you mind doing it just once more please?
LUCY: Oh no sir it would be perfectly alright.
DIRECTOR: Thank you, ok in the control room! Now we're going to time it this time, ready?... GO!
(...SILENCE)
LUCY: You know you’re awfully nice.
DIRECTOR: Thank you, would you go ahead please?
LUCY: ...Well, I’m your vitavitevegivac girl, are you tired run-down listless? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular... well are you?... the answer to all your problems is in this little ol’ bottle. Vitameatavegamin, (LOOKS AT BOTTLE)... that’s it. Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, megitables, and vinerals... hmm (HICCUP). So why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of uh vita.. vetee... vee ...meany-miny-momy. I tell you what you have to do. You have to take a whole tablespoon full after every meal......(DRINKS OUT OF BOTTLE). Its so tasty too! It’s just like candy so everybody get a bottle of... this stuff.
DIRECTOR: Ms. Mcgillicutty?
LUCY: Hm?
DIRECTOR: Are you alright?
LUCY: Oh I feel fine but you know it’s HOT in here!
DIRECTOR: Well do you think you’ll be able to go on with the show?...(SILENCE)... well do you?
LUCY: What?
DIRECTOR: Joe? I think you'd better take a little rest until show time
LUCY: Yeah boy it sure is hot in here.
DIRECTOR: Joe would you take Ms. Mcgillicutty to one of the dressing rooms and let her rest until show time?
STAGE HAND: Well sure, come on Ms. Mcgillicutty.
LUCY: Joe is it hot in here to you... pardon me, (TURNS TOWARDS DIRECTOR) thank you you’re very nice you’ve been a perfect gentleman. Come on Joe.
(LUCY AND STAGE HAND EXIT)
(NEW SCENE)
STAGE HAND: Hey Ross?
DIRECTOR: Yeah.
STAGE HAND: Where’s that girl that's supposed to do the commercial? I can’t find her.
DIRECTOR: She’s taking a nap in one of the dressing rooms.
STAGE HAND: No she’s not I looked in the dressing rooms.
DIRECTOR: Well, find her and get Ricky out here we're on the air in 15 seconds.
STAGE HAND: Ok! Stand by everybody 15 seconds. Hey Ricky your on, Ricky?
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, alright, alright.
DIRECTOR: A little further back Ricky.
RICKY: further back, alright.
DIRECTOR: Little more... That’s it... stand by everybody.
RICKY: Good evening ladies and gentleman and welcome to your Saturday night variety. My name is Ricky Ricardo I’m your host for this evening. We have some wonderful acts and I think we're all gonna have alota fun. So if we may we like to start things off with a little music. Mr. Hatch if you please.
(RICKY SINGS IN SPANISH)
(LUCY ENTERS, NOTICES RICKY AND GOES TO HIM)
LUCY: Hi Fred, hi Ethel, hi, hi, hello.
(LUCY TRIES SINGING WITH RICKY)
RICKY: (LAUGHS COVERING EMBARRASSMENT) Very nice, very funny... (LAUGHS)
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your vitavetavigivac girl...
(RICKY PICKS UP LUCY AND CARIES HER OFF STAGE)
LUCY: ...Are you tired run-down listless? Do you poop-out at part...
(END SHOW)
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
To be continued . . .
I have a 3 day business meeting in a few weeks, two big projects to get done, I have to work on goosing BP to replace the guttering, and LP's surgery at the end of the month, so my blog is now on hiatus until next month. Enjoy May.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Bushism from Calendar
"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." --Dubya, Washington, DC; May 25, 2004
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Pictures Aplenty
Here are some pictures I took yesterday. That's my first iris in bloom. The wizard and colored rocks sitting in a dish atop the wooden crates thing is on my porch for awhile.
Then there's the copper fountain beside statue of Saint Francis. In front of the fountain is a container planted with strawberries.
That's a picture of a bleeding heart. It's the first year it's really looked pretty. I'm surprised that it lived--Last fall I Rounded-Up the bed it was in, but since they die back and disappear after they bloom, maybe that's why it was saved.
That's one of the barrels I told you about. This one is planted with herbs: Rosemary, two kinds of parsley, thyme, peppermint and basil.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Haircut/Customs
I got a cute springy haircut from my favorite haircutter, Kasey. She’s in her early twenties, bubbly, cute, optimistic and talented, but what the hell, I still like her! I feel good every time I leave her place. That’s the mark of a good hair stylist.
I also finished a travel book I bought the other day: Behave Yourself! The Essential Guide to International Etiquette by Michael Powell. It’s a small tome arranged by countries. The Dos and Don’ts of each culture: Meeting and Greeting, Conversation, Dress, Eating and drinking etiquette. People in some cultures don’t like to do a lot of smiling (I know it’s hard to believe.) Maybe they’re like The Office’s Dwight, who proclaims that he never smiles unless forced to. A toothy smile is what submissive primates show. Standing with your hands in your pockets is a no-no in some countries, as is showing flashy jewelry.
Anyway, if I ever travel to Pakistan I’ll know not to ever accept anything anyone offers me, unless they make repeated offers. They think it’s polite to offer to give you anything that you comment on (“Oh, what a lovely scarf.”) It saves face. They’re poor, so don’t take them up on the offer. Also, lone female travelers are frowned upon and will be shunned. Ask a Pakistani about his “family and children” but NEVER about his wife.
Don’t insult a Norwegian by lumping him in with Swedes and Danes. They have their own culture. Would you like being mistaken for a Canadian?
According to this book, most people in the world dress better than jean-clad Americans. Doesn’t mean they have more money, they’re just more conscious about their appearance in public.
Chileans, Russians, Poles have very little “personal space.” They’ll stand very close to you. (Seinfeld’s “Close talker”?) Don’t back up. They’ll be offended and just move closer to you anyway.
Maybe Americans who travel abroad should research local customs. Maybe it will cut down on the stereotypical Ugly American.
I also finished a travel book I bought the other day: Behave Yourself! The Essential Guide to International Etiquette by Michael Powell. It’s a small tome arranged by countries. The Dos and Don’ts of each culture: Meeting and Greeting, Conversation, Dress, Eating and drinking etiquette. People in some cultures don’t like to do a lot of smiling (I know it’s hard to believe.) Maybe they’re like The Office’s Dwight, who proclaims that he never smiles unless forced to. A toothy smile is what submissive primates show. Standing with your hands in your pockets is a no-no in some countries, as is showing flashy jewelry.
Anyway, if I ever travel to Pakistan I’ll know not to ever accept anything anyone offers me, unless they make repeated offers. They think it’s polite to offer to give you anything that you comment on (“Oh, what a lovely scarf.”) It saves face. They’re poor, so don’t take them up on the offer. Also, lone female travelers are frowned upon and will be shunned. Ask a Pakistani about his “family and children” but NEVER about his wife.
Don’t insult a Norwegian by lumping him in with Swedes and Danes. They have their own culture. Would you like being mistaken for a Canadian?
According to this book, most people in the world dress better than jean-clad Americans. Doesn’t mean they have more money, they’re just more conscious about their appearance in public.
Chileans, Russians, Poles have very little “personal space.” They’ll stand very close to you. (Seinfeld’s “Close talker”?) Don’t back up. They’ll be offended and just move closer to you anyway.
Maybe Americans who travel abroad should research local customs. Maybe it will cut down on the stereotypical Ugly American.
Creed
One of my new favorite The Office characters is the old man Creed. Last night’s episode was about complaints to HR. The young temp Ryan had complained that Creed always had an “Old Man smell.” Creed smiled and said, “I know what he means. He opened his desk drawer to show a layer of sprouted mung beans on paper towels. “I sprout mung beans in my desk,” and as he popped some in his mouth he deadpans, “they smell like death.” Hahahaha. I laughed out loud. This was a good episode—I laughed out loud three times. I very seldom do that while watching TV.
I tried to Google a picture of the guy who plays Creed (I think his name actually is Creed) but no luck. He was in a background shot of one the of photos on the sitcom's website but it wasn't a good one.
I tried to Google a picture of the guy who plays Creed (I think his name actually is Creed) but no luck. He was in a background shot of one the of photos on the sitcom's website but it wasn't a good one.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
email hoaxes
I received a forwarded email today telling me of the dangers of flashing headlights at a car driving without lights on. Supposedly this is a gang initiation and the occupants of the car will follow you and KILL YOU DEAD! Adios! Bye-bye.
I sent this person the www.snopes.com website with the information that this email has been around for over ten years and it is false.
What's worse, the guy who sent me the email is a police officer and it was sent to him by his captain. Sigh.
I sent this person the www.snopes.com website with the information that this email has been around for over ten years and it is false.
What's worse, the guy who sent me the email is a police officer and it was sent to him by his captain. Sigh.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
I voted today.
Indiana holds its primary elections on the first Tuesday in May. Today. So I went to vote. A bunch of school board people, and other assorted local politicians. People can’t solicit 50 yards from the polls so they stand in a line in the parking lot. This one pushy broard asks me, “Did you come here to vote?” I gave her a “why else would I be here at 6:15 am?” look. She then shoves her election brochure into my hand and pipes up with a “VOTE FOR ME!!!” Not an “I’d appreciate your vote,” or “Please vote for me.” So I looked at the name under her picture on the brochure, went into the polling place and voted against her.
Did anyone in the history of mankind walk up to a polling place and just by being told to vote for Candidate A as opposed to Candidate B, slap themselves in the forehead and say, “Wow! I guess I’ll vote for YOU!”?
My point: 100% of the people (Internet statistic) who haul their asses out of bed to vote in a PRIMARY of all things are pretty much set as to who(m) they’re voting for.
Did anyone in the history of mankind walk up to a polling place and just by being told to vote for Candidate A as opposed to Candidate B, slap themselves in the forehead and say, “Wow! I guess I’ll vote for YOU!”?
My point: 100% of the people (Internet statistic) who haul their asses out of bed to vote in a PRIMARY of all things are pretty much set as to who(m) they’re voting for.
For Urban
Hands sounds like BP. He thinks all flowers should smell nice.
Check around the nursery, but also check out what your neighbors plant.
My Favorite Smell-gooders:
Lavender
Dianthus (pinks)
Nicociana (Flowering tobacco)
Heliotrope (smells like vanilla)
Lillies
Roses
Herbs
Allyssum
Spring bulbs:
hyacinths
Daffodils
Tulips
Lilac bushes
Check around the nursery, but also check out what your neighbors plant.
My Favorite Smell-gooders:
Lavender
Dianthus (pinks)
Nicociana (Flowering tobacco)
Heliotrope (smells like vanilla)
Lillies
Roses
Herbs
Allyssum
Spring bulbs:
hyacinths
Daffodils
Tulips
Lilac bushes
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Crappy weather but lots of plants
I went on a wild spending spree yesterday. The way blu buys designer knockoffs I buy plants. Especially in the Spring time. But the weather turned shitty again so all of these plants are on my front porch huddled together in big cartons and in paper bags. Yesterday I looked at the weather forecast and it’s rain, rain, rain, showers, partly cloudy, rain, rain, cloudy, partly cloudly for the next ten freaking days. Mother Nature/God . . hello . . . my solar powered copper fountain needs sun to run, Honey. Cloudy, rainy days aint gonna cut it.
Anyway, Rural King (a seed/tool/cheapy-creepy store) had big ole pots of rosemary for $2.99 each!
Most of this stuff is going in the wine barrels. Here’s what’s living on my porch for awhile:
3 rosemary
3 different tomato plants (BP put them in the crat and expects me to plant them)
3 different pepper plants (BP again)
1 fernleaf dill
2 thymes
3 Italian parsley
1 curly parsley (for butterflies to use to have sex and lay their eggs in)
3 Basils (no bollocks on my basils either)
2 Wave petunias (a start for my hanging baskets)
I want some snapdragons but they were all in full bloom, and you do NOT buy bedding plants when their in full bloom at the nursery (no matter what Ded will try and sell you.) You want plants to bloom at your home, not in the nursery.
I’ve got my list ready for the other containers but I won’t buy anything else for at least two weeks.
Anyway, Rural King (a seed/tool/cheapy-creepy store) had big ole pots of rosemary for $2.99 each!
Most of this stuff is going in the wine barrels. Here’s what’s living on my porch for awhile:
3 rosemary
3 different tomato plants (BP put them in the crat and expects me to plant them)
3 different pepper plants (BP again)
1 fernleaf dill
2 thymes
3 Italian parsley
1 curly parsley (for butterflies to use to have sex and lay their eggs in)
3 Basils (no bollocks on my basils either)
2 Wave petunias (a start for my hanging baskets)
I want some snapdragons but they were all in full bloom, and you do NOT buy bedding plants when their in full bloom at the nursery (no matter what Ded will try and sell you.) You want plants to bloom at your home, not in the nursery.
I’ve got my list ready for the other containers but I won’t buy anything else for at least two weeks.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
I'm back.
I'm back. Thanks for all the posts, you nutballs. I went to a meeting which was held at one of the casino hotels in southern Indiana. Friday was a beautiful day and we had fun, although I did lose two hundred dollars in the slots. Oh, well.
We bough a new copper fountain that's solar powered and BP installed it for me on Thursday. I love it, and it will look neater once it ages and gets that cool copper patina. I'll post a picture later. I bought it off the INternet and it wasn't that expensive. The birds love it already.
We bough a new copper fountain that's solar powered and BP installed it for me on Thursday. I love it, and it will look neater once it ages and gets that cool copper patina. I'll post a picture later. I bought it off the INternet and it wasn't that expensive. The birds love it already.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
Cooking with Emma
We go to this good Thai restaurant and I love their basil beef dish. I tried to replicate it at home and it’s very good. I made it yesterday for dinner, and I’ll have the leftovers for lunch today!
My Thai Basil Beef w/ Jasmine Rice
Ingredients
One pound or so good steak (I use sirloin) Cut into bite sized pieces (You can also make this with boneless chicken)
1 yellow pepper, thinly sliced
1 red pepper, thinly sliced
1 small yellow onion, thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
1 small can of coconut milk (I use low fat) (Find it on the Asian foods aisle)
1 ¼ cups uncooked jasmine rice
1 small can of chicken stock/broth
1 tablespoon curry powder (I use red curry)
I teaspoon cumin
1/8 teaspoon (dash) of cinnamon
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon Kosher salt
1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
½ cup fresh chopped basil
olive oil
About one hour before:
Marinate the steak with about two tablespoons of olive oil and half of the curry powder and half the black pepper. Refrigerate.
For the rice:
Put a tablespoon of olive oil in the bottom of a hot pan. Add rice. Stir, coating the rice for about a minute. Add chicken stock and two tablespoons of the coconut milk. Bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to low until the rice is cooked through.
In a large saute pan:
Put the marinated steak into the hot pan and sear on both sides (about a minute on each side). Set aside in a bowl. Then in the same pan over medium heat, add about a tablespoon of olive oil and then add the peppers, onions and garlic. Cook for about five minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the rest of the curry powder, cumin, salt, cinnamon, pepper and the rest of red pepper flakes. Add the steak back in. Add the remaining coconut milk and stir. Cover and cook through on low heat for about ten minutes. A minute before serving stir in the basil. Serve with the rice.
My Thai Basil Beef w/ Jasmine Rice
Ingredients
One pound or so good steak (I use sirloin) Cut into bite sized pieces (You can also make this with boneless chicken)
1 yellow pepper, thinly sliced
1 red pepper, thinly sliced
1 small yellow onion, thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
1 small can of coconut milk (I use low fat) (Find it on the Asian foods aisle)
1 ¼ cups uncooked jasmine rice
1 small can of chicken stock/broth
1 tablespoon curry powder (I use red curry)
I teaspoon cumin
1/8 teaspoon (dash) of cinnamon
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon Kosher salt
1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
½ cup fresh chopped basil
olive oil
About one hour before:
Marinate the steak with about two tablespoons of olive oil and half of the curry powder and half the black pepper. Refrigerate.
For the rice:
Put a tablespoon of olive oil in the bottom of a hot pan. Add rice. Stir, coating the rice for about a minute. Add chicken stock and two tablespoons of the coconut milk. Bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to low until the rice is cooked through.
In a large saute pan:
Put the marinated steak into the hot pan and sear on both sides (about a minute on each side). Set aside in a bowl. Then in the same pan over medium heat, add about a tablespoon of olive oil and then add the peppers, onions and garlic. Cook for about five minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the rest of the curry powder, cumin, salt, cinnamon, pepper and the rest of red pepper flakes. Add the steak back in. Add the remaining coconut milk and stir. Cover and cook through on low heat for about ten minutes. A minute before serving stir in the basil. Serve with the rice.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
I sent a nastygram to Oprah
I don’t watch Oprah on a daily basis, but I did happen to catch it on Friday. The topic was “Class in America.” Great topic, but the show really sucked. The producer should be fired.
She had on Clinton’s Secretary of Labor Robert Reich (looking very gnomish by the way). Oprah kept him in an audience chair. He told us what we all know. 80-90% of this country’s wealth is in the hands of 1% of the people. The middle class is shrinking. More poor in America. “The American Dream” is no longer attainable for everyone.
So instead of a good discussion, the show highlighted three or four vapid women who said that they generalized the “lower class” were people with non-designer bags, dressly poorly and had dirty fingernails. One wailed that people looked down on her even though she drove a BMW because she was a hostess in a high-end restaurant. Waaaaaaaaa. Big fucking deal.
I was waiting for Miss Oprah to say, “Hey! Wait a second. There are many many people out there with dirty ingernails who are honest, hard working and have great character. But she didn’t say a word.
There was one lower working class black guy who said that he felt invisible. The only legitimate comment of the show.
Some snot-nosed heir to the Johnson & Johnson fortune was on hawking his film, and he admitted that, yes, he would be disappointed if he was cut out of his father’s will. SHOCKER.
Also Warren Buffet’s granddaughter was on (both she and the Johnson kid got to sit by Oprah, btw.) She told the harrowing tale of not getting a penny from her grandfather. (Although he paid her way through college so she could do whatever she wanted.)
What could have been an interesting and informative show was a real mess.
She had on Clinton’s Secretary of Labor Robert Reich (looking very gnomish by the way). Oprah kept him in an audience chair. He told us what we all know. 80-90% of this country’s wealth is in the hands of 1% of the people. The middle class is shrinking. More poor in America. “The American Dream” is no longer attainable for everyone.
So instead of a good discussion, the show highlighted three or four vapid women who said that they generalized the “lower class” were people with non-designer bags, dressly poorly and had dirty fingernails. One wailed that people looked down on her even though she drove a BMW because she was a hostess in a high-end restaurant. Waaaaaaaaa. Big fucking deal.
I was waiting for Miss Oprah to say, “Hey! Wait a second. There are many many people out there with dirty ingernails who are honest, hard working and have great character. But she didn’t say a word.
There was one lower working class black guy who said that he felt invisible. The only legitimate comment of the show.
Some snot-nosed heir to the Johnson & Johnson fortune was on hawking his film, and he admitted that, yes, he would be disappointed if he was cut out of his father’s will. SHOCKER.
Also Warren Buffet’s granddaughter was on (both she and the Johnson kid got to sit by Oprah, btw.) She told the harrowing tale of not getting a penny from her grandfather. (Although he paid her way through college so she could do whatever she wanted.)
What could have been an interesting and informative show was a real mess.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Fact: The Assistant to the Regional Manager Doll is Here
You can preorder a Dwight K. Schrute Bobblehead doll from the NBC.com shop. There is a God.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
The lawn
Yesterday was the first lawn mowing of the season. It’s been LP’s job for the last two years. Instead of boring old, neat, straight-line mowing, my inventive son mows in circles, on angles, leaves big clumps here and there, and doesn’t do a very good job at trimming where the mower won’t go. But at least it’s mown. There are other things to worry about.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Calendars
I may be one of the few people left who uses a paper calendar and not my Outlook calendar. I write down my appointments, doctor’s appointments, LP’s trips to his orthodontists, birthdays, anniversaries, etc. I don’t like Outlook. I don’t trust Outlook. My non-Outlook savvy boss accidentally sent me 53 outlook appointments when he was attempting to change meeting times from Eastern to Daylight Savings a few weeks back. They just kept coming and coming, so I emailed him with a “JUST STOP IT!!!”
Anyway, there are pithy quotations in my spiral bound desk calendar.
“Nothing was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson
On paper this sounds inspirational. But think about it. It’s really bullshit. People achieve things all day long and aren’t necessarily enthused about doing so.
“Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about doing it right, or doing it better.”—John Updike
Again, this is bullshit. Certain activities and jobs are drudge no matter what. How can the job of ditch-digging become creative even though the digger wants to do it right? It reminds me of the Sandra Bullock character in While You Were Sleeping. Towards the end of the movie she’s lamenting her job as a subway token taker. “I sit here, day after day, in this box—like a veal" haha.
And, no, this post has no point.
Anyway, there are pithy quotations in my spiral bound desk calendar.
“Nothing was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson
On paper this sounds inspirational. But think about it. It’s really bullshit. People achieve things all day long and aren’t necessarily enthused about doing so.
“Any activity becomes creative when the doer cares about doing it right, or doing it better.”—John Updike
Again, this is bullshit. Certain activities and jobs are drudge no matter what. How can the job of ditch-digging become creative even though the digger wants to do it right? It reminds me of the Sandra Bullock character in While You Were Sleeping. Towards the end of the movie she’s lamenting her job as a subway token taker. “I sit here, day after day, in this box—like a veal" haha.
And, no, this post has no point.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Gnomes and whiskey barrels
My youngest sister’s birthday is May 4 and I asked her what she wanted. She wanted some rubberized garden shoes. She told me Target had them. YAY! They had shoes (kind of like Porky’s pink shoes, only cloggier) in blue, orange and yellow. I choose the orange and also got her a good pair of garden gloves in an orange stripe. Cute!
Guess what else they had?? That’s right—garden gnomes!!! Yippeeeeeee. Cast Iron. Heavy. Adorable. One holding a shovel and one holding a flower pot, so I got them both. (stfu, jhd)
Last week BP and I went to Rural King (kind of a white trash Lowe’s/ Menard’s combo.) He was looking at tools (what else?) and I spied half whiskey barrels. The real deal. Not the phoney baloney faux whiskey barrels like Wally World sells. Big 40 pound whiskey barrels. Regular priced $15.99, now only $12.99. I sweet-talked BP into coming back with his truck to buy some for me.
BP: How many do you want?
Me: Just one.
Me: No two.
Me: Oh, get three.
So he did and they’re still in the back of his truck until the painters are finished with the porch and windows. They smell like whiskey. When I figure out where they’re going in the yard, I’m going to fill the bottoms with empty soda cans, packing peanuts, etc and just the top half with potting mix. Two barrels will get a gnome! I want to fill one with different varieties of coleus, one with herbs (thymes, rosemaries, basils—not Meme’s doggie, and Italian flat leaf parsley) and one with annuals like snapdragons and dahlias. But maybe I’ll change my mind when I go to the nurseries. But that’s the plan right now. I might even do heirloom tomatoes in one.
Friday, April 14, 2006
Backyard Tree & Dead Lawn
This is a tree in our backyard. I used to know what the name was--it's an ornamental Chinese something or other. My now deceased neighbor lady hated the way the blossoms smelled, but they have no odor to me. I think they're pretty. The dead patch in the lawn is from two bags of mulch I laid there in the autumn and forgot about. I moved them so the grass will soon spread.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Easter Dinner
We’re going to my oldest sister’s house for Easter. I think most everyone will be there. This year I’m the some-sort-of-salad, and dessert person. I think I’ll make a chocolate cake, but I’m not sure what kind of salad I’ll bring—probably either a Greek salad with lots of kalamata olives and feta, or an orzo pasta salad with tomatoes and a lemony dressing.
Are you bringing anything interesting to your Easter dinner?
Are you bringing anything interesting to your Easter dinner?
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Sunday, April 09, 2006
Act now!
Powerball drawing for Wednesday is $220 million dollars. Shelfers in good Emmerica standing may email me a number between one and fifty-five. I’ll buy the ticket(s). If I win the jackpot on the Shelfer ticket, the people participating will split two million dollars. I’ll email you with the numbers once the ticket is purchased. You must email me a number no later than 5 pm on Tuesday April 11th.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Great Battery
Our backporch smoke detector just started beeping Friday, April 7. I had forgotten we even had one back there. BP changed the battery in it. He brought the old battery to me to look at. "Guess when the last time the battery was changed," he asked. I didn't know. I told him that I had forgotten we even had a smoke detector by the back door.
He always writes the date he puts the battery in on the battery itself.The old battery's date was MAY 28, 2001!!!!FIVE FREAKING YEARS that battery lasted! It was an Energizer E Titanium. I know it's not suggested that a battery is kept in a smoke detector for FIVE years, but isn't it great that it lasted so long???
I suggest blu and Porky use this type of battery in their Turbo Rabbits.
He always writes the date he puts the battery in on the battery itself.The old battery's date was MAY 28, 2001!!!!FIVE FREAKING YEARS that battery lasted! It was an Energizer E Titanium. I know it's not suggested that a battery is kept in a smoke detector for FIVE years, but isn't it great that it lasted so long???
I suggest blu and Porky use this type of battery in their Turbo Rabbits.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
All's well
Big Puddin repaired my Travelocity gnome with superglue so all's right with the world. He's back up where he belongs on my computer desk near the printer, the Glade and the potted faux plant.
Friday, April 07, 2006
I love you
The other day a woman was in my office when LP called. After a brief conversation I ended with, “Ok. I love you. Bye.” Whereas she said, “If you say ‘I ‘love you’ too much it lessens it.”
WTF??
I always end phone conversations with the Puddins, my Mom, and most of my sisters with an “I love you.” Who knows if those are the last words they’ll hear from you. I don’t think you can ever say, and mean, those words enough.
WTF??
I always end phone conversations with the Puddins, my Mom, and most of my sisters with an “I love you.” Who knows if those are the last words they’ll hear from you. I don’t think you can ever say, and mean, those words enough.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Katie Couric
I have never gotten the fascination with Katie Couric. Who cares if she moves to CBS? I like Bob Schieffer. Katie’s not a journalist. She’s a question-asker. These news personalities get paid way too much money.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
And now for something completely different
On Wednesday morning (for a second) it will be 1:02:03 am on 04/05/06
If you miss it, anticipate this: 1:02:03 pm on 04/05/06
Hey, I read it in the paper and thought I’d pass it along (shrug)
If you miss it, anticipate this: 1:02:03 pm on 04/05/06
Hey, I read it in the paper and thought I’d pass it along (shrug)
Monday, April 03, 2006
Wanted: A Decaying Deer Head
I’m having some people paint our house trim, soffits, columns and porch. A light blue for the trim and a dark blue for the porch deck It’s been rainy and rainy. They began scraping and priming last week when it was decent outside. All we’re waiting for is a stretch of nice weather in the 60s.
Yesterday I de-crapped the front porch. Chairs, cushions, plant pots, shells, tables, watering cans, etc. I put them in a pile in the front yard near the bird bath. It kinda looks like Aunty’s house sans mannequins and paper mache (sp) animals. All I need is a decaying deer head to complete the ensemble.
Send up a prayer to the tornado gods and tell them to back off for a few weeks!
Yesterday I de-crapped the front porch. Chairs, cushions, plant pots, shells, tables, watering cans, etc. I put them in a pile in the front yard near the bird bath. It kinda looks like Aunty’s house sans mannequins and paper mache (sp) animals. All I need is a decaying deer head to complete the ensemble.
Send up a prayer to the tornado gods and tell them to back off for a few weeks!
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Turning Republican
Well, I've seen the errors of my ways. I got the huge tax cut that George Bush promised so I'm turning Republican. I'm also Pro-Life. I don't want to see any more of those poor feti aborted. So, please, if you're pregnant, have the baby, don't abort it.
I'm embracing Scientology. I've seen the light because of TomKat. Bless their hearts.
I've sworn off American Idol and The Office and all tv I hold dear. PBS is all I'll watch now--even though it's a hotbed of evil liberal thought.
I've switched from Target to WalMart and I feel good about it.
Today a lovely family is coming to adopt Nesta. I hate cats. On Monday we're going to get a sweet little Benji-type pooch who hopefully will have ass matter clinging to either his ass or his ball(s), so I'll fit in around here.
And I'm finished sending money to those lazy motherfuckers in Darfur. Take some initiative! Move and get a job!
The final news is I'm going on the supermodel diet of cocaine and heroin to lose this 400 pounds of unslightly bulk.
I've seen the light. Good day.
I'm embracing Scientology. I've seen the light because of TomKat. Bless their hearts.
I've sworn off American Idol and The Office and all tv I hold dear. PBS is all I'll watch now--even though it's a hotbed of evil liberal thought.
I've switched from Target to WalMart and I feel good about it.
Today a lovely family is coming to adopt Nesta. I hate cats. On Monday we're going to get a sweet little Benji-type pooch who hopefully will have ass matter clinging to either his ass or his ball(s), so I'll fit in around here.
And I'm finished sending money to those lazy motherfuckers in Darfur. Take some initiative! Move and get a job!
The final news is I'm going on the supermodel diet of cocaine and heroin to lose this 400 pounds of unslightly bulk.
I've seen the light. Good day.
Friday, March 31, 2006
The Office
This is mostly for Tree.
The Office was brilliant last night. Michael’s birthday and he faked concern for Kevin’s skin cancer. It was Dwight’s show though—celebrating the exact minute that Michael “emerged from his mother vaginal canal,” and recruiting people to lift him up on a chair “like the Hebrews.” Haha. His head going through the ceiling panels was hilarious.
Did you catch the sexual tension between Angela and Dwight when he wanted to present the cake and she said it was the job of the party committee?
Dwight: Will you still come to the meeting?
Angela: Yes. But you won’t. Get. A cookie.
Dwight: What if I’m hungry?
Angela: No cookie!
The Office was brilliant last night. Michael’s birthday and he faked concern for Kevin’s skin cancer. It was Dwight’s show though—celebrating the exact minute that Michael “emerged from his mother vaginal canal,” and recruiting people to lift him up on a chair “like the Hebrews.” Haha. His head going through the ceiling panels was hilarious.
Did you catch the sexual tension between Angela and Dwight when he wanted to present the cake and she said it was the job of the party committee?
Dwight: Will you still come to the meeting?
Angela: Yes. But you won’t. Get. A cookie.
Dwight: What if I’m hungry?
Angela: No cookie!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Favorite Tea
Mango White Tea. This is the best tasting tea on the market. Their Pearfect Tea and Green Dragon are also good. try it, you'll love it.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Monday, March 27, 2006
Murrow, Bleeding Hearts & Corn Salad
I finished the Murrow book yesterday and started Bleeding Hearts.
Murrow joined JFK’s administration and envisioned what later would become the Public Broadcasting System. He developed lung cancer and his friend Dr. Jonas Salk oversaw his treatment
I made tacos and this side dish last night. Man, is it tasty. I think it will be even better with fresh corn this summer. I brought the leftovers for lunch today.
Corn & Tomato Salad
2 small bags of frozen white corn, defrosted
½ cup diced red onion
1 container of grape tomatoes, sliced in two
½ cup fresh chopped parsley
½ cup fresh chopped basil
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon fresh ground pepper
Easy as pie: combine all the ingredients well and refrigerate for half hour. Serve.
Murrow joined JFK’s administration and envisioned what later would become the Public Broadcasting System. He developed lung cancer and his friend Dr. Jonas Salk oversaw his treatment
I made tacos and this side dish last night. Man, is it tasty. I think it will be even better with fresh corn this summer. I brought the leftovers for lunch today.
Corn & Tomato Salad
2 small bags of frozen white corn, defrosted
½ cup diced red onion
1 container of grape tomatoes, sliced in two
½ cup fresh chopped parsley
½ cup fresh chopped basil
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon fresh ground pepper
Easy as pie: combine all the ingredients well and refrigerate for half hour. Serve.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Book suggestion
Gotta love Saturday mornings. I’m sitting here with my coffee, BP’s in Maryland on business, LP is playing an extremely violent Xbox game called "The Godfather" (I hear m-fer and other choice words every so often—not from my angel LP, of course, but from the game) and Nesta is happily playing with her pink straw.
On tap today is laundry. I’m also making LP go around the yard and pick up sticks and other stuff that’s blown around for the last month. He wants to stay all night with Eric, so I told him that if he did everything I asked of him this morning and afternoon with nary a peep or whine, maybe just maybe I’d let him.
Anyway, I got another BN order yesterday. In the carton was a sample package of Starbucks coffee. What arrived: Bleeding Hearts, a China Bayles herbal mystery by Susan Wittig Albert, the complete third season of "Columbo" (one of the best ever television detective characters) and a small, incredibly tasty book titled Edward R. Murrow and the Birth of Broadcast Journalism by Bob Edwards. (I’m three quarters of the way through it already!) It’s part of the “Turning Points” book series published by John Wiley.
Watching the movie "Good Night and Good Luck" fueled my interest in Edward R. Murrow. What a wonderful journalist this man was. The book reprints some of his actual radio news reports from London during the Nazi bombings prior to American participation of WWII. He highlighted how the everyday Londoner was coping with the hailstorm of bombs. Very vivid first-person accounts. The news radio medium was very new back then and Murrow brought the war directly to the American public. After Pearl Harbor when we entered the war, Winston Churchill credited Murrow with educating the American public to Nazi horrors and with showing them they should be interested in what Europe was going through, even though (back then) Europe was so very very much removed from the life of the average American. His first hand account of his visit to the horror that was the concentration camp Buchenwald is extremely moving. $19.95 well spent for this slice of journalistic history.
On tap today is laundry. I’m also making LP go around the yard and pick up sticks and other stuff that’s blown around for the last month. He wants to stay all night with Eric, so I told him that if he did everything I asked of him this morning and afternoon with nary a peep or whine, maybe just maybe I’d let him.
Anyway, I got another BN order yesterday. In the carton was a sample package of Starbucks coffee. What arrived: Bleeding Hearts, a China Bayles herbal mystery by Susan Wittig Albert, the complete third season of "Columbo" (one of the best ever television detective characters) and a small, incredibly tasty book titled Edward R. Murrow and the Birth of Broadcast Journalism by Bob Edwards. (I’m three quarters of the way through it already!) It’s part of the “Turning Points” book series published by John Wiley.
Watching the movie "Good Night and Good Luck" fueled my interest in Edward R. Murrow. What a wonderful journalist this man was. The book reprints some of his actual radio news reports from London during the Nazi bombings prior to American participation of WWII. He highlighted how the everyday Londoner was coping with the hailstorm of bombs. Very vivid first-person accounts. The news radio medium was very new back then and Murrow brought the war directly to the American public. After Pearl Harbor when we entered the war, Winston Churchill credited Murrow with educating the American public to Nazi horrors and with showing them they should be interested in what Europe was going through, even though (back then) Europe was so very very much removed from the life of the average American. His first hand account of his visit to the horror that was the concentration camp Buchenwald is extremely moving. $19.95 well spent for this slice of journalistic history.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Michael Buble
Verbie sent me one of those emails that ask you what your favorite this and that is. I completed it and passed it on to several of you. One question was "What CD are you listening to a lot." I had to confess to Michael Buble's (pronounced Booblay) It's Time.
If you don't know him, he's a Canadian crooner in the style of Harry Connick, Jr., Frank Sinatra, and Dean Martin. His big hit is a song called "Home" but both of his CDs are filled with old time classics like "I've Got You Under My Skin" He even covered Van Morrison's classic "Moondance."
This is good driving-the-car music. Very soothing.
If you don't know him, he's a Canadian crooner in the style of Harry Connick, Jr., Frank Sinatra, and Dean Martin. His big hit is a song called "Home" but both of his CDs are filled with old time classics like "I've Got You Under My Skin" He even covered Van Morrison's classic "Moondance."
This is good driving-the-car music. Very soothing.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Evil Red Dot
Here’s the new Nesta story: A laser pointer.
The girl goes absolutely bonkers when LP or BP runs the red dot all over the carpet. Sometimes they run it so it appears to go down into the floor heater vent. The cat will just sit and stare at the vent in case the Evil Red Dot appears. She’s guarding her humans against the ERD. Last night I ran the ERD into her kitty condo, and she took a flying leap and landed inside it. Run the dot alongside the wall near the floor and make it disappear around a corner and she’ll take on her crouched, attack kitty stance mode and fly around the corner. She’s a funny cat. I’m interested to see what she does this summer if a lightning bug gets inside the house.
The girl goes absolutely bonkers when LP or BP runs the red dot all over the carpet. Sometimes they run it so it appears to go down into the floor heater vent. The cat will just sit and stare at the vent in case the Evil Red Dot appears. She’s guarding her humans against the ERD. Last night I ran the ERD into her kitty condo, and she took a flying leap and landed inside it. Run the dot alongside the wall near the floor and make it disappear around a corner and she’ll take on her crouched, attack kitty stance mode and fly around the corner. She’s a funny cat. I’m interested to see what she does this summer if a lightning bug gets inside the house.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Not one flake
We were expecting a major snowstorm after midnight last night and of course LP just knew he wouldn't have school today. This morning, not one flake of snow on the ground. Needless to say it was Grumpyville around here this morning. But we are expecting one to three inches of snow sometime today.
As far as winter is concerned, it needs to Shit or Get Off the Pot (as my Grandma used to say.)
Have a perfectly pleasant day.
As far as winter is concerned, it needs to Shit or Get Off the Pot (as my Grandma used to say.)
Have a perfectly pleasant day.
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Busy Weekend
1. Got new tires for the Lexus
2. LP and I stayed Saturday night at my Mom’s. Ordered pizza and salad, washed her dishes, scrubbed her sink, cleaned her toilets, changed her broken wrist bandages and soaked her arm, and watered her houseplants. And yes, Schell, she had a martini.
3. Did some yard work today, but we might get snow overnight tomorrow.
4. Went to Menard’s with BP and bought some gutter downspouts and assorted accoutrements.
5. Did six loads of laundry.
6. Watched a taped biography on Food TV’s Ina “Barefoot Contessa” Garten.
7. Vacuumed the living room.
8. ohh-ohh . . . Meme, guess what? The cat learned something cute to do! I’ll detail it in the next update!
I’m tired. Oops, I forgot to mention that we bought and watched Good NIght and Good Luck. Terrific movie. I was impressed with Dubya, Rummy, and Ashcroft playing the part of Joseph McCarthy. Good job, fellas!
2. LP and I stayed Saturday night at my Mom’s. Ordered pizza and salad, washed her dishes, scrubbed her sink, cleaned her toilets, changed her broken wrist bandages and soaked her arm, and watered her houseplants. And yes, Schell, she had a martini.
3. Did some yard work today, but we might get snow overnight tomorrow.
4. Went to Menard’s with BP and bought some gutter downspouts and assorted accoutrements.
5. Did six loads of laundry.
6. Watched a taped biography on Food TV’s Ina “Barefoot Contessa” Garten.
7. Vacuumed the living room.
8. ohh-ohh . . . Meme, guess what? The cat learned something cute to do! I’ll detail it in the next update!
I’m tired. Oops, I forgot to mention that we bought and watched Good NIght and Good Luck. Terrific movie. I was impressed with Dubya, Rummy, and Ashcroft playing the part of Joseph McCarthy. Good job, fellas!
Friday, March 17, 2006
Thursday, March 16, 2006
That Demonic Company, Halliburton, Does it Again
The wonderful company once headed by Dick "Quail Hunter" Cheney---the company who gets billion dollar no bid government contracts--- has done it again. This time they haven't been purifying water that American soldiers fighting in Iraq rely on.
Contaminated Water
Contaminated Water
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
The moon and bacon
1. The moon was beautiful this morning.
2. For breakfast I had a bacon, egg and cheese crossainwich at Burger King, and I’m enjoying coffee now in my office.
3. The anti-abortion bill is still being tinkered with in Indiana. The text of the bill says that, before the abortion, the woman has to be told that the fetus may feel pain and that life begins at conception. Who died and made these legislators God?
4. Why aren’t these bastards as concerned with the deaths in Darfur, or that Slobodan Milosovic was a modern-age Hitler? Nooooooooo, they’re saving babies for God. All those assholes protesting at abortion clinics need to get out their check books, or board planes to Africa and save those babies from AIDS, or do something constrictive, and leave uteruses the hell alone.
5. I read George Clooney’s “I am a Liberal” blog over at the Huffington Report. Good job, George.
2. For breakfast I had a bacon, egg and cheese crossainwich at Burger King, and I’m enjoying coffee now in my office.
3. The anti-abortion bill is still being tinkered with in Indiana. The text of the bill says that, before the abortion, the woman has to be told that the fetus may feel pain and that life begins at conception. Who died and made these legislators God?
4. Why aren’t these bastards as concerned with the deaths in Darfur, or that Slobodan Milosovic was a modern-age Hitler? Nooooooooo, they’re saving babies for God. All those assholes protesting at abortion clinics need to get out their check books, or board planes to Africa and save those babies from AIDS, or do something constrictive, and leave uteruses the hell alone.
5. I read George Clooney’s “I am a Liberal” blog over at the Huffington Report. Good job, George.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Shat is the shit
Last night BP and I watched an interesting show on the History Channel last night: How William Shatner Changed the World. They followed NASA engineers, creative types, and the creator of the cell phone through how Star Trek inspired them to create things. It was two hours long. I only watched the first hour because then they got into Star Trek: The Next Generation which I never got in to.
On their website, you can enter a sweepstakes to actually meet William Shatner at a Star Trek convention in Las Vegas: http://www.historychannel.com/space/sweeps/registration.jsp
On their website, you can enter a sweepstakes to actually meet William Shatner at a Star Trek convention in Las Vegas: http://www.historychannel.com/space/sweeps/registration.jsp
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Sorry, but this is just too cute.
The cat was looking down in the sofa cushions for a straw, and all that was peeking out was her head.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Meme--Don't Look!
This cat is funny. She's a fetcher. We have a box of plastic bendy straws and LP and BP love to throw one into the next room and Nesta will retrieve it to them. Every once in awhile she's cart off the straw to her secret hiding place, so somewhere in the house she probably has a stash of yellow, blue, pink and green bendy straws.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Bummer
BP and I took the LP to his heart doctor yesterday and spent four freaking hours waiting around Riley’s Children’s Hospital. His last appointment was in July and his doctor recommended surgery for LP’s vsd (small hole in the heart.) He said that this surgery is better done now when there’s little damage, rather than waiting until LP’s in his thirties or forties and he’d have to be on blood thinners the rest of his life. The surgery is booked for the end of May, which we’re not looking forward to at all.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
This is about television
Project Runway.
Daniel V got screwed. He deserved to win. He won the majority of the challenges on this season. His designs were wonderful. I like Chloe, but in my mind she came in second. The judges were right about Santino’s clothes. They were beautiful, but the tops didn’t fit. Why would you go to an important debut like this and not fit your clothes on a live person?? I’m glad Michael Kors offered Daniel a job. He’ll go far.
I’ll miss Tim Gunn.
Sons and Daughters.
There’s a new sitcom on ABC. Sons and Daughters is produced by SNL’s Lorne Michaels. It is very very funny. Max Gail (Detective Wojohowicz from Barney Miller) plays the main character’s stepfather. What fun it is to see him back on tv. They have a stereotypical old lady character by the name of Aunt Rae. She’s what Archie Bunker’s older sister would be like. Check it out. Wednesdays.
The Amazing Race.
It’s too early in The Amazing Race to be interesting. They have a wacko dentist and his wife. The dentist (name is “Lake” as in the ocean) who one team calls “Scott Peterson.” Ha ha.
New sitcom.
I love Julia Louis Dreyfuss but I doubt if I’ll watch her new show The New Adventures of Old Christine. The previews show typical blah sitcom fare.
Daniel V got screwed. He deserved to win. He won the majority of the challenges on this season. His designs were wonderful. I like Chloe, but in my mind she came in second. The judges were right about Santino’s clothes. They were beautiful, but the tops didn’t fit. Why would you go to an important debut like this and not fit your clothes on a live person?? I’m glad Michael Kors offered Daniel a job. He’ll go far.
I’ll miss Tim Gunn.
Sons and Daughters.
There’s a new sitcom on ABC. Sons and Daughters is produced by SNL’s Lorne Michaels. It is very very funny. Max Gail (Detective Wojohowicz from Barney Miller) plays the main character’s stepfather. What fun it is to see him back on tv. They have a stereotypical old lady character by the name of Aunt Rae. She’s what Archie Bunker’s older sister would be like. Check it out. Wednesdays.
The Amazing Race.
It’s too early in The Amazing Race to be interesting. They have a wacko dentist and his wife. The dentist (name is “Lake” as in the ocean) who one team calls “Scott Peterson.” Ha ha.
New sitcom.
I love Julia Louis Dreyfuss but I doubt if I’ll watch her new show The New Adventures of Old Christine. The previews show typical blah sitcom fare.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
HP Day
I skated out of work for a half hour to go and buy Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire on DVD. Special 2 disc set. Eat your heart out, Muggle!
Monday, March 06, 2006
Foggy, Paint, and the Oscars
It’s very very foggy here today. We got some snow yesterday but later on in the week it’s supposed to climb to 60 degrees.
We accepted a bid to paint our soffits, fascia and window trims. The guy is supposed to come by on Wednesday and talk to BP and get a down payment. Now we’ll just have to wait until we get a week or so stretch of 55 degree weather—maybe later this month or April.
Last night BP watched the Oscars with me. He loves Jennifer Lopez. I think she’s evil. I think her evil mind almost made Jennifer Garner trip on the stage.
What’s with that hairdo everyone had last night? The Uma Thurman/Sandra Bullock hair of the Grecian goddess. Pulled back but wavy. I saw a lot of people doing their ‘do like that. I hated the color of Michelle Williams’ (of Heath Ledger fame) dress. It was mustardy yellow lime. Yuck. Even a hot dog wouldn’t look good wearing that.
We accepted a bid to paint our soffits, fascia and window trims. The guy is supposed to come by on Wednesday and talk to BP and get a down payment. Now we’ll just have to wait until we get a week or so stretch of 55 degree weather—maybe later this month or April.
Last night BP watched the Oscars with me. He loves Jennifer Lopez. I think she’s evil. I think her evil mind almost made Jennifer Garner trip on the stage.
What’s with that hairdo everyone had last night? The Uma Thurman/Sandra Bullock hair of the Grecian goddess. Pulled back but wavy. I saw a lot of people doing their ‘do like that. I hated the color of Michelle Williams’ (of Heath Ledger fame) dress. It was mustardy yellow lime. Yuck. Even a hot dog wouldn’t look good wearing that.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Updates
1. My mother’s surgery went well, although she chastised the doctor for being 45 minutes late. BP said to me, “You come by your impatience honestly.” It’s true. I’m very impatient.
2. BP and LP got the mourning dove out of the basement Thursday. Now all is quiet downstairs.
3. I watched Part One of the Project Runway finale. Santino actually seemed a wee bit humble. I like Daniel’s shorter hair. And Chloe’s family history—she and her seven sisters were born in Laos and her parents tried to sneak them out during the war, got caught, and all had to spend time in “Family Jail.” Fascinating. I’d love to get a visit from Tim Gunn. Santino’s collection looks very good, but I still want Daniel to win. That big pink coat that we saw from Chloe’s collection is hideous. Can’t wait for the finale Wednesday night.
2. BP and LP got the mourning dove out of the basement Thursday. Now all is quiet downstairs.
3. I watched Part One of the Project Runway finale. Santino actually seemed a wee bit humble. I like Daniel’s shorter hair. And Chloe’s family history—she and her seven sisters were born in Laos and her parents tried to sneak them out during the war, got caught, and all had to spend time in “Family Jail.” Fascinating. I’d love to get a visit from Tim Gunn. Santino’s collection looks very good, but I still want Daniel to win. That big pink coat that we saw from Chloe’s collection is hideous. Can’t wait for the finale Wednesday night.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Scaredy Cat
When I was in bed Tuesday night I heard weird noises coming from the basement. I hate that! This kind of stuff usually happens when BP is away on business. I bolted upright, and strained to hear wtf it was. I put on my glasses. Putting on my glasses always makes me hear better. Like turning down the radio in your car when you’re lost and trying to find a street address. Anyway, it stopped. Then started again. I took a flashlight and check in on LP. He was sawing logs. Then I took the flashlight and shined it out on the back porch. Nesta was sawing logs too. Damn, I was hoping she had knocked something over. But no, it was all quiet. So I went back to bed. And it started in again. I went out into the living room and called BP. It was about 1am.
BP: (groggy voice) What’s wrong?
Me: I heard a noise.
BP: What noise?
Me: A noise. In the basement!
BP: A human noise? You think there’s someone down there?
Me: No, not a person. What kind of stupid person breaks into someone’s house and makes enough racket to wake the dead? It was a noise. Like a wild animal down there?
BP: It’s probably a bird. Remember? About once a year one of the stupid birds---which you feed, by the way--gets into the house.
Me: I hope it’s just a bird and not a raccoon. You know, Vanda52 has raccoons in his attic.
BP: Who?
Me: Nevermind. You’ll be home Thursday right?
BP: Yes Puddin.
Me: Then it’ll be here waiting for you.
BP: Yeeesssss Puddin.
Me: I’m sleeping in the living room. I can’t hear it there. Bye.
BP: Love ya.
So I did. I slept in the living room. So yesterday after work I walked all around the house. I saw it. On the basement window ledge was a little mourning dove. That basement window hasn’t been opened in a hundred years and I wasn’t going to break it. I had LP hit the window with a broom, while I held open the basement door, hoping it would fly out on its own. It didn’t. It looked perfectly fine sitting there. And there it will sit until this afternoon when BP gets it out.
BP: (groggy voice) What’s wrong?
Me: I heard a noise.
BP: What noise?
Me: A noise. In the basement!
BP: A human noise? You think there’s someone down there?
Me: No, not a person. What kind of stupid person breaks into someone’s house and makes enough racket to wake the dead? It was a noise. Like a wild animal down there?
BP: It’s probably a bird. Remember? About once a year one of the stupid birds---which you feed, by the way--gets into the house.
Me: I hope it’s just a bird and not a raccoon. You know, Vanda52 has raccoons in his attic.
BP: Who?
Me: Nevermind. You’ll be home Thursday right?
BP: Yes Puddin.
Me: Then it’ll be here waiting for you.
BP: Yeeesssss Puddin.
Me: I’m sleeping in the living room. I can’t hear it there. Bye.
BP: Love ya.
So I did. I slept in the living room. So yesterday after work I walked all around the house. I saw it. On the basement window ledge was a little mourning dove. That basement window hasn’t been opened in a hundred years and I wasn’t going to break it. I had LP hit the window with a broom, while I held open the basement door, hoping it would fly out on its own. It didn’t. It looked perfectly fine sitting there. And there it will sit until this afternoon when BP gets it out.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Yesterday's Online Purchases
Rosemary Clooney Sings the Lyrics of Ira Gershwin CD
(FOEs--abbrevation for Friends of Emma, which is odd because it spells "foe". huh. Go figure. Anyway, FOEs know that I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Rosie's voice. Love her, love Gershwin tunes.)
Frommer's Portable Las Vegas for Non-Gamblers
(I'm a gambler, but this book looks like it will be helpful)
Daisy Cooks!: Latin Flavors That Will Rock Your World
(This broad has a PBS cooking show and she is wonderful!--Love her)
On the Road with Francis of Assisi: A Timeless Journey Through Umbria and Tuscany, and Beyond
(Looks interesting, and I love reading about that region of Italy anyway)
(FOEs--abbrevation for Friends of Emma, which is odd because it spells "foe". huh. Go figure. Anyway, FOEs know that I've always had a soft spot in my heart for Rosie's voice. Love her, love Gershwin tunes.)
Frommer's Portable Las Vegas for Non-Gamblers
(I'm a gambler, but this book looks like it will be helpful)
Daisy Cooks!: Latin Flavors That Will Rock Your World
(This broad has a PBS cooking show and she is wonderful!--Love her)
On the Road with Francis of Assisi: A Timeless Journey Through Umbria and Tuscany, and Beyond
(Looks interesting, and I love reading about that region of Italy anyway)
Monday, February 27, 2006
Broken wrist
Saturday my mom broke her wrist in two places. They are operating on her on Thursday. Poor old girl. The doctor didn’t even give her any good drugs—just Tylenol with codeine.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Top Ten Great things About the Month of March
10. Women’s History Month
9. St. Patrick’s Day
8. Spring officially comes in this month.
7. The Oscars
6. Some early spring flowers begin to bloom.
5. March Madness for college basketball fans
4. The Ides of March. Although this is really a bad thing.
3. The days get a little bit longer.
2. Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire is out on DVD March 7th
1. . It’s not February!
9. St. Patrick’s Day
8. Spring officially comes in this month.
7. The Oscars
6. Some early spring flowers begin to bloom.
5. March Madness for college basketball fans
4. The Ides of March. Although this is really a bad thing.
3. The days get a little bit longer.
2. Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire is out on DVD March 7th
1. . It’s not February!
Friday, February 24, 2006
Cat: Unfocused
The cat jumped on my lap. She had her head down on the keyboard and looked so cute that I grabbed the camera. She was curious. Then she wouldn't leave it alone.
Getting Bids
Hello to all the ships who pass in the night.
As I might have mentioned, this spring I wanted to replace the siding on our house. I don’t think that’s going to happen, but we will have enough money to have the window frames, soffits (sp) and porch repainted. And maybe new guttering. YAY! So I’ve been making appointments with painters to come and give me estimates. Yesterday a man by the name of Greg came over and talked with me. He was in business with his daughter, and had twenty years of painting experience. His daughter’s name is Sonya! What an excellent sign! Both were very nice, asked questions and gave good answers (when it comes to getting estimates on home repair, I follow the lawyer’s mantra when they’re in court: “Never ask a question you don’t know the answer to.”)
“What type of paint is best on home exterior?”
“How warm does it have to be to beginning the paint job?”
“Will you prime all surfaces before you begin?”
“It’s probably lead paint, and I garden. Will you put tarps on the ground to catch all the flakes you scrape off?”
Greg said he really wanted the work and would supply references and a copy of his insurance papers before the job. I like people who tell me, “I want this job and I’ll do right by you.”
Someone else is coming over this afternoon. She sounded too foofoo over the phone . . . like she was going to do decorative painting. I explained that it was exterior painting, not interior painting and she still wanted to bid on it, so we’ll see how it goes.
When I told my boss that I was taking yesterday afternoon off and why, he said “Why don’t you two paint it yourselves?”
Me: I don’t do stuff like that. I don’t want to do all the scraping.
Boss: I enjoy that stuff. Last summer I painted the front door and garage door. It’s something that I can see—the accomplishment of it.
Me: I guess you don’t show your grandkids a spreadsheet and gush, “Hey kids! Grandpa did this all by himself!”
Boss: Exactly!
Me: I want to pay someone to do the grunt work. But I’ve bought stencils and when the porch is done, I want to do some stencil work on it.
Boss: Oh? What stencil?
Me: It’s a stencil of Dubya and his butt with a bullseye on it.
Boss: Get out of my office.
It’s a rare thing . . a Republican with a sense of humor
As I might have mentioned, this spring I wanted to replace the siding on our house. I don’t think that’s going to happen, but we will have enough money to have the window frames, soffits (sp) and porch repainted. And maybe new guttering. YAY! So I’ve been making appointments with painters to come and give me estimates. Yesterday a man by the name of Greg came over and talked with me. He was in business with his daughter, and had twenty years of painting experience. His daughter’s name is Sonya! What an excellent sign! Both were very nice, asked questions and gave good answers (when it comes to getting estimates on home repair, I follow the lawyer’s mantra when they’re in court: “Never ask a question you don’t know the answer to.”)
“What type of paint is best on home exterior?”
“How warm does it have to be to beginning the paint job?”
“Will you prime all surfaces before you begin?”
“It’s probably lead paint, and I garden. Will you put tarps on the ground to catch all the flakes you scrape off?”
Greg said he really wanted the work and would supply references and a copy of his insurance papers before the job. I like people who tell me, “I want this job and I’ll do right by you.”
Someone else is coming over this afternoon. She sounded too foofoo over the phone . . . like she was going to do decorative painting. I explained that it was exterior painting, not interior painting and she still wanted to bid on it, so we’ll see how it goes.
When I told my boss that I was taking yesterday afternoon off and why, he said “Why don’t you two paint it yourselves?”
Me: I don’t do stuff like that. I don’t want to do all the scraping.
Boss: I enjoy that stuff. Last summer I painted the front door and garage door. It’s something that I can see—the accomplishment of it.
Me: I guess you don’t show your grandkids a spreadsheet and gush, “Hey kids! Grandpa did this all by himself!”
Boss: Exactly!
Me: I want to pay someone to do the grunt work. But I’ve bought stencils and when the porch is done, I want to do some stencil work on it.
Boss: Oh? What stencil?
Me: It’s a stencil of Dubya and his butt with a bullseye on it.
Boss: Get out of my office.
It’s a rare thing . . a Republican with a sense of humor
Thursday, February 23, 2006
update
George Dubya’s administration is neck deep in scandals. How many more must we endure?
(not listed in any particular order)
Allowing a United Arab Emerates company port management contracts
Packing the US Supreme Court with rabid conservatives
Hanky-panky in Florida in first election/stealing election from Al Gore.
The whole Iraqi War and absence of any WMDs
Outing of CIA operative Valerie Plame for political payback
Scooter Libby/ Karl Rove (who still has his job)
Jack Abramoff
The Katrina mess and failure of FEMA/Homeland Security
Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse
Guantanamo prisoner issues
Unlawful wiretapping of citizens
No bid Halliburton contracts
Underestimating/lying about the real cost of Iraqi war
Tom Delay
AWOL Vice President who lives in a bunker except when he comes out of hiding to shoot his friend in the face and chest
Plus he has done nothing about:
Selling off national forests to private interests
Global warming
(not listed in any particular order)
Allowing a United Arab Emerates company port management contracts
Packing the US Supreme Court with rabid conservatives
Hanky-panky in Florida in first election/stealing election from Al Gore.
The whole Iraqi War and absence of any WMDs
Outing of CIA operative Valerie Plame for political payback
Scooter Libby/ Karl Rove (who still has his job)
Jack Abramoff
The Katrina mess and failure of FEMA/Homeland Security
Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse
Guantanamo prisoner issues
Unlawful wiretapping of citizens
No bid Halliburton contracts
Underestimating/lying about the real cost of Iraqi war
Tom Delay
AWOL Vice President who lives in a bunker except when he comes out of hiding to shoot his friend in the face and chest
Plus he has done nothing about:
Selling off national forests to private interests
Global warming
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Enough Immoral Scandals to Sink a Battleship, All From Someone the Religious Right Elected
George Dubya’s administration is neck deep in scandals. How many more must we endure?
(not listed in any particular order)
Hanky-panky in Florida in first election/stealing election from Al Gore.
The whole Iraqi War and absence of any WMDs
Outing of CIA operative Valerie Plame for political payback
Scooter Libby/ Karl Rove (who still has his job)
Jack Abramoff
The Katrina mess and failure of FEMA/Homeland Security
Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse
Guantanamo prisoner issues
Unlawful wiretapping of citizens
No bid Halliburton contracts
Underestimating/lying about the real cost of Iraqi war
Tom Delay
AWOL Vice President who lives in a bunker except when he comes out of hiding to shoot his friend in the face and chest
Plus he has done nothing about:
Selling off national forests to private interests
Global warming
Monday, February 20, 2006
Chloe Bag
This is the new handbag my sister was carrying when we met to go shopping Saturday. "I love it," I told her. "You'll probably get it when I'm tired of it."
YAY!!!
Here are the details
Kerala Style.
• Brown leather with dark brown trim.
• Golden hardware and studs.
• Shoulder straps with rings.
• Horse and logo-engraved horseshoe charm with ID tag.
• Open top; extended tab with clip.
• Lined.
• 13 1/5"H x 14"W x 5 2/3"D.
• Made in Italy.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
You Guys Won't Believe This!
Seems that Nesta was so fond of being tossed in the microwave to thaw out, that now she paws at it like it's her long lost friend! By the way, in honor of the microwave, we've decided to change her name to "Amana."
postscript: No felines were harmed creating this post.
postscript: No felines were harmed creating this post.
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