Well, I've seen the errors of my ways. I got the huge tax cut that George Bush promised so I'm turning Republican. I'm also Pro-Life. I don't want to see any more of those poor feti aborted. So, please, if you're pregnant, have the baby, don't abort it.
I'm embracing Scientology. I've seen the light because of TomKat. Bless their hearts.
I've sworn off American Idol and The Office and all tv I hold dear. PBS is all I'll watch now--even though it's a hotbed of evil liberal thought.
I've switched from Target to WalMart and I feel good about it.
Today a lovely family is coming to adopt Nesta. I hate cats. On Monday we're going to get a sweet little Benji-type pooch who hopefully will have ass matter clinging to either his ass or his ball(s), so I'll fit in around here.
And I'm finished sending money to those lazy motherfuckers in Darfur. Take some initiative! Move and get a job!
The final news is I'm going on the supermodel diet of cocaine and heroin to lose this 400 pounds of unslightly bulk.
I've seen the light. Good day.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Even I know it's April Fool's Day.
all that's an april fool apart from the dog bit right?
You didn't have me for one second.
Good thing i had 2 cups of coffee before reading this rubbish. xoxoxo Lululululuulullulu
Heh. Weirdo.
fun post. :)
Post a Comment