Sunday, September 03, 2006
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Friday, September 01, 2006
It's Friday
BB update
I hate the Final Four. Janey & Erika had better bring their game because aint no way in hell Chilltown is going to bring one of them to the Final Two. Bringing in Colonel Sanders for ousted George was the stupidest thing in reality television. Talk about your product placement! Chicken George didn’t even dig into the bucket, and chow down on a breast! I’ll miss CG. I still want Janelle to win. Hey Tree & blu: Was that a HICKEY on Janelle’s neck during last night’s show?? What’s with Big Brother allowing Will to whisk off Janey for a pow-wow before the nominations. BB wants them in the Final Two soooooo much. I hate Julie Chen.
Project Runway
You can tell PR has hit the Bigs when they jet off the six to Paris. Cool beans. Vincent’s outfit was boring beyond belief, and I hated that decoration thing on Evil Jeffrey’s penis. WTF? And Kayne. Oh my. I’m surprised he’s still in. Angela was done-in by her butt rosettes . . . and linen?? Linen? To travel in? I liked Laura’s dress, I just wish it was in another color. Uli looked very surprised that the judges didn’t fawn over her creation, but it looked like every dress she’s made so far. I love Michael.
Tomorrow . . . pictures of the smartest cat in the world! I hope Meme gets back from her vacation in time to admire it.
I hate the Final Four. Janey & Erika had better bring their game because aint no way in hell Chilltown is going to bring one of them to the Final Two. Bringing in Colonel Sanders for ousted George was the stupidest thing in reality television. Talk about your product placement! Chicken George didn’t even dig into the bucket, and chow down on a breast! I’ll miss CG. I still want Janelle to win. Hey Tree & blu: Was that a HICKEY on Janelle’s neck during last night’s show?? What’s with Big Brother allowing Will to whisk off Janey for a pow-wow before the nominations. BB wants them in the Final Two soooooo much. I hate Julie Chen.
Project Runway
You can tell PR has hit the Bigs when they jet off the six to Paris. Cool beans. Vincent’s outfit was boring beyond belief, and I hated that decoration thing on Evil Jeffrey’s penis. WTF? And Kayne. Oh my. I’m surprised he’s still in. Angela was done-in by her butt rosettes . . . and linen?? Linen? To travel in? I liked Laura’s dress, I just wish it was in another color. Uli looked very surprised that the judges didn’t fawn over her creation, but it looked like every dress she’s made so far. I love Michael.
Tomorrow . . . pictures of the smartest cat in the world! I hope Meme gets back from her vacation in time to admire it.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
BP's birthday
Yesterday was BP's fiftieth birthday. He wanted a
few things from one of his favorite stores (Harbor Freight Tools.)
And instead of going out for dinner he had a simple request.
He wanted me to make him ham and my "special eggs." And so I did.
I even threw in a bagel and his favorite strawberry preserves.
Special eggs:
5 or 6 large eggs, whisked with three tablespoons cold water.
salt
pepper
Melt a pat of butter in a skillet and cook the eggs over a very low heat,
stirring gently until just set. Serves two. They were good
(I add chopped fresh parsley and basil in mine--BP doesn't like
"weeds".)
Here are some cosmos.
few things from one of his favorite stores (Harbor Freight Tools.)
And instead of going out for dinner he had a simple request.
He wanted me to make him ham and my "special eggs." And so I did.
I even threw in a bagel and his favorite strawberry preserves.
Special eggs:
5 or 6 large eggs, whisked with three tablespoons cold water.
salt
pepper
Melt a pat of butter in a skillet and cook the eggs over a very low heat,
stirring gently until just set. Serves two. They were good
(I add chopped fresh parsley and basil in mine--BP doesn't like
"weeds".)
Here are some cosmos.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
RIP Gossip Column
Respighi demands a new post so I’ve selected to rag on Binx and his new Katy Tried column. He’s too lazy (or uninteresting) to post his own blog and he’s been itching to take over the gossip column for a long while now.
This little chestnut is from his latest post:
Spendastic: does any body in hr know emmawrites?
whas up wit her?
BinxB91: emma was once a great wit
Spendastic: once?
BinxB91: well, these days she talks mostly about TV
Spendastic: i talked with her once long ago, and then
i'd see her words pop up and they were...well...deranged?
Why is this funny? Because when I did the gossip column, Binx sent the very same post and quip about me, my wit, and TV, twice---to Timmy and Gus both. WTF? Get a new line, Binx. We get it. I watch too much television. I’m not witty no mo’. Point taken. Move on.
I’d like to know what exactly Binx has contributed to this site. In the words of the Famous F: “Cite please.” Almost every comment (except his famous baseball book review which read like he C&P’d it from Amazon) he’s made on the community blog and other shelfers blogs have been condescending. His comments to Schelll on her blog are always paternal blatherings. They read like sneering pats on the head.
The first abookshelf.org gossip column was my invention (drawn from inspiration of Auntie Fay Corgasm’s advice column) and, modesty aside, has gone down hill since I stopped doing it (apologies to the dead Meemaw.)
Binx needs to edit. His columns are too long and boring. If people wanted to read pages and pages of comments that contribute nothing to the overall “tidbit” they’d go into the Book Shelf themselves and participate. Edit. Edit. Edit.
I hate what my Gossip Column baby’s become. It’s boring as hell. No pizazz. No zip. No wit no mo’. RIP.
My suggestion to Binx is (and always has been) to develop his own column and fill it with all of his intellectual musings. I’d like to see if that’s possible. No TV (well maybe some PBS stuff you can nick from Naggy). No entertainment. No Tom Cruise. No co-workers. No children. No pictures. No politics. No hobbies. No school. No movies. No spouse. Just intellectual offerings as he sees them. Can he do it? Probably not. It would take more than a cut & paste effort.
This little chestnut is from his latest post:
Spendastic: does any body in hr know emmawrites?
whas up wit her?
BinxB91: emma was once a great wit
Spendastic: once?
BinxB91: well, these days she talks mostly about TV
Spendastic: i talked with her once long ago, and then
i'd see her words pop up and they were...well...deranged?
Why is this funny? Because when I did the gossip column, Binx sent the very same post and quip about me, my wit, and TV, twice---to Timmy and Gus both. WTF? Get a new line, Binx. We get it. I watch too much television. I’m not witty no mo’. Point taken. Move on.
I’d like to know what exactly Binx has contributed to this site. In the words of the Famous F: “Cite please.” Almost every comment (except his famous baseball book review which read like he C&P’d it from Amazon) he’s made on the community blog and other shelfers blogs have been condescending. His comments to Schelll on her blog are always paternal blatherings. They read like sneering pats on the head.
The first abookshelf.org gossip column was my invention (drawn from inspiration of Auntie Fay Corgasm’s advice column) and, modesty aside, has gone down hill since I stopped doing it (apologies to the dead Meemaw.)
Binx needs to edit. His columns are too long and boring. If people wanted to read pages and pages of comments that contribute nothing to the overall “tidbit” they’d go into the Book Shelf themselves and participate. Edit. Edit. Edit.
I hate what my Gossip Column baby’s become. It’s boring as hell. No pizazz. No zip. No wit no mo’. RIP.
My suggestion to Binx is (and always has been) to develop his own column and fill it with all of his intellectual musings. I’d like to see if that’s possible. No TV (well maybe some PBS stuff you can nick from Naggy). No entertainment. No Tom Cruise. No co-workers. No children. No pictures. No politics. No hobbies. No school. No movies. No spouse. Just intellectual offerings as he sees them. Can he do it? Probably not. It would take more than a cut & paste effort.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Something to do
I was bored yesterday and someone sent this to me at work
Place an X by all the things you've done, or remove the X from the ones you have not, and send it to all of your friends (including me). This is for your entire life! Answer and return!
X Smoked a cigarette.
Drank so much you threw up.
X Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
Been arrested
X Gone on a blind date.
X Skipped school.
X Seen someone die.
X Been to Canada.
X Been to Florida
Been to Mexico.
X Been on a plane
X Been lost.
X Been on the opposite side of the country.
X Gone to Washington, DC.
X Swam in the ocean
X Felt like dying.
X Cried yourself to sleep
Played cops and robbers
X Recently colored with crayons
X Sang karaoke.
Paid for a meal with only coins
X Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
X Made prank phone calls.
X Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.
X Caught a snowflake on your tongue.
X Danced in the rain
X Written a letter to Santa Claus
X Been kissed under the mistletoe.
X Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
X Blown bubbles.
Made a bonfire on the beach.
Crashed a party.
X Gone roller-skating.
1. Any nicknames? yes
2. Mother's name? I call her "Mom"
3. What is your favorite drink? Mixed drink: Pina Colada Other: Water
4. Tattoos? No
5. Body piercing? No.
6. How much do you love your job, from 1-10? 8 1/2
7. Birthplace: Indiana
8. Favorite vacation spot? Abroad: Ireland US: Las Vegas
9. Ever been to Africa? No
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Yes
11. Ever been on TV? Yes
12. Ever steal any traffic signs? Yes
13. Ever been in a car accident? Yes
14. Was it your fault? No
15. 2 Doors or 4Doors? 4 doors
16. Salad dressing? homemade
17. Favorite pie? Chocolate cream
18. Favorite number? 1,777, 511, 007
19. Favorite movie? All That Heaven Allows, Young Frankenstein, all the Christopher Guest movies, many of Albert Brooks’ movies
20. Favorite holiday? Arbor Day
21. Favorite dessert? Tiramisu
22. Favorite kind of food? Italian, Southwest Mexican, Homemade
23. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
24. Favorite brand of body soap? Burt’s Bees Carrot
25. Favorite TV shows? The Office, Curb Your Enthusiasm, BB, Amazing Race, Great hotels, Passport to Europe, CSI reruns, fake news shows
26. Toothpaste? No favorite—usually a name brand
27. Favorite smells? Lavendar, lilacs, hyacinth, freshly mown grass, basil
28. What do you do to relax? Read, enjoy my garden
30. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Through bifocals
31. What do you do when you are bored? Fill out these stupid lists
32. Furthest place you will send this message? “over the Internets”—Stephen Colbert
33. Who will respond the fastest? Spideybitch
34. Least likely to respond? People who don’t read my blog
Place an X by all the things you've done, or remove the X from the ones you have not, and send it to all of your friends (including me). This is for your entire life! Answer and return!
X Smoked a cigarette.
Drank so much you threw up.
X Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
Been arrested
X Gone on a blind date.
X Skipped school.
X Seen someone die.
X Been to Canada.
X Been to Florida
Been to Mexico.
X Been on a plane
X Been lost.
X Been on the opposite side of the country.
X Gone to Washington, DC.
X Swam in the ocean
X Felt like dying.
X Cried yourself to sleep
Played cops and robbers
X Recently colored with crayons
X Sang karaoke.
Paid for a meal with only coins
X Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
X Made prank phone calls.
X Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose.
X Caught a snowflake on your tongue.
X Danced in the rain
X Written a letter to Santa Claus
X Been kissed under the mistletoe.
X Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
X Blown bubbles.
Made a bonfire on the beach.
Crashed a party.
X Gone roller-skating.
1. Any nicknames? yes
2. Mother's name? I call her "Mom"
3. What is your favorite drink? Mixed drink: Pina Colada Other: Water
4. Tattoos? No
5. Body piercing? No.
6. How much do you love your job, from 1-10? 8 1/2
7. Birthplace: Indiana
8. Favorite vacation spot? Abroad: Ireland US: Las Vegas
9. Ever been to Africa? No
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Yes
11. Ever been on TV? Yes
12. Ever steal any traffic signs? Yes
13. Ever been in a car accident? Yes
14. Was it your fault? No
15. 2 Doors or 4Doors? 4 doors
16. Salad dressing? homemade
17. Favorite pie? Chocolate cream
18. Favorite number? 1,777, 511, 007
19. Favorite movie? All That Heaven Allows, Young Frankenstein, all the Christopher Guest movies, many of Albert Brooks’ movies
20. Favorite holiday? Arbor Day
21. Favorite dessert? Tiramisu
22. Favorite kind of food? Italian, Southwest Mexican, Homemade
23. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
24. Favorite brand of body soap? Burt’s Bees Carrot
25. Favorite TV shows? The Office, Curb Your Enthusiasm, BB, Amazing Race, Great hotels, Passport to Europe, CSI reruns, fake news shows
26. Toothpaste? No favorite—usually a name brand
27. Favorite smells? Lavendar, lilacs, hyacinth, freshly mown grass, basil
28. What do you do to relax? Read, enjoy my garden
30. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Through bifocals
31. What do you do when you are bored? Fill out these stupid lists
32. Furthest place you will send this message? “over the Internets”—Stephen Colbert
33. Who will respond the fastest? Spideybitch
34. Least likely to respond? People who don’t read my blog
Sunday, August 27, 2006
The Life of Pi
I was in the Shelf a few minutes last night and Max Pi came in. I hadn’t seen him for ages. He’s one of the Shelfers who makes me laugh. He’s very secretive in the way Mr PTBunkum is secretive—I don’t know a damn thing about either of them. They’re both quirky.
Max 314159265358: I'm more pits than peachy
EmmaWrites: what's wrong Mex?
EmmaWrites: Are you watching Big Brother?
Vanda52: odd in here tonight, arts SF was here before , thats a blast from the past
Vanda52: now max
JaneH56: ahh, yes, how was she?
Vanda52: ok jane , she left fast
Max 314159265358: Nope
EmmaWrites: artsSF used to fight with someone in here--I forget who
Vanda52: she asked me to send a rose thats how long its been for her
RLVSK: Arts was here? Damn sorry I missed her
EmmaWrites: Mex, just LCS?
Max 314159265358: That was disappointing
EmmaWrites: yep
RLVSK: Arts and Kal used to get after it
RLVSK: She would reduce him to ashes in a matter of seconds
Max 314159265358: My current realityTV watch is desginstar
JaneH56: I like project runway.
EmmaWrites: me too Janie
Max 314159265358: The black guy should've won
EmmaWrites: Ive only seen bits & pieces of designstar
JaneH56: the pretty girl got the boot.
Max 314159265358: I think they're down to 4
EmmaWrites: Allison--I thought she was original
JaneH56: she was a beautiful lady.
EmmaWrites: Jane, this week Robert Best got booted
JaneH56: the barbie guy?
JaneH56: yeah, I saw that.
Max 314159265358: There some gorgeous people in reality
EmmaWrites: Mex, do you want to apply for Amazing Race with me?
Max 314159265358: As long as you do anything that involves water, Emma
EmmaWrites: ok Mex...you can do heights, and eat anything gross
Max 314159265358: I've no problem with that
EmmaWrites: deal
Max 314159265358: I've learned to swallow hard
Max 314159265358: I sometimes drown in the shower
Max 314159265358: You see the new Survivor?
EmmaWrites: Mex...separation by race?
Max 314159265358: Yep I've got it in TiVO already
Max 314159265358: Waitin for that black v. Asian showdown
EmmaWrites: haha
Also:
Max 314159265358: Weekend Insider had a whole feature on a woman without a nose
Max 314159265358: just a gaping hole
EmmaWrites: Mex, does a person with no nose still have mucus?
Max 314159265358: Nope
Max 314159265358: there was nothing
Max 314159265358: She was a jack o lantern minus the candle
True Story:
I was standing behind two old ladies at an ice cream place yesterday (I was cheating on my diet by getting a scoop of chocolate mint chip in a dish.) Old Lady #2 had been served and was waiting for Old Lady #1.
Old Lady #1 to the Counter Girl, after being handed a huge rainbow sherbet cone:
Also give me a chocolate scoop in a dish to go. It’s for my doggie.
OL#2: For your dog?!
OL#1: She’s been very good today. It’s a treat.
OL#2: Chocolate’s bad for dogs.
OL#1: My doggie likes chocolate.
OL#2: Chocolate’s BAD for dogs. It’ll kill ‘em.
OL#1: A little won’t hurt her.
OL#2: It’s bad.
OL#1: One scoop.
OL#2: Fine! Kill the little bastard! Who cares!
Max 314159265358: I'm more pits than peachy
EmmaWrites: what's wrong Mex?
EmmaWrites: Are you watching Big Brother?
Vanda52: odd in here tonight, arts SF was here before , thats a blast from the past
Vanda52: now max
JaneH56: ahh, yes, how was she?
Vanda52: ok jane , she left fast
Max 314159265358: Nope
EmmaWrites: artsSF used to fight with someone in here--I forget who
Vanda52: she asked me to send a rose thats how long its been for her
RLVSK: Arts was here? Damn sorry I missed her
EmmaWrites: Mex, just LCS?
Max 314159265358: That was disappointing
EmmaWrites: yep
RLVSK: Arts and Kal used to get after it
RLVSK: She would reduce him to ashes in a matter of seconds
Max 314159265358: My current realityTV watch is desginstar
JaneH56: I like project runway.
EmmaWrites: me too Janie
Max 314159265358: The black guy should've won
EmmaWrites: Ive only seen bits & pieces of designstar
JaneH56: the pretty girl got the boot.
Max 314159265358: I think they're down to 4
EmmaWrites: Allison--I thought she was original
JaneH56: she was a beautiful lady.
EmmaWrites: Jane, this week Robert Best got booted
JaneH56: the barbie guy?
JaneH56: yeah, I saw that.
Max 314159265358: There some gorgeous people in reality
EmmaWrites: Mex, do you want to apply for Amazing Race with me?
Max 314159265358: As long as you do anything that involves water, Emma
EmmaWrites: ok Mex...you can do heights, and eat anything gross
Max 314159265358: I've no problem with that
EmmaWrites: deal
Max 314159265358: I've learned to swallow hard
Max 314159265358: I sometimes drown in the shower
Max 314159265358: You see the new Survivor?
EmmaWrites: Mex...separation by race?
Max 314159265358: Yep I've got it in TiVO already
Max 314159265358: Waitin for that black v. Asian showdown
EmmaWrites: haha
Also:
Max 314159265358: Weekend Insider had a whole feature on a woman without a nose
Max 314159265358: just a gaping hole
EmmaWrites: Mex, does a person with no nose still have mucus?
Max 314159265358: Nope
Max 314159265358: there was nothing
Max 314159265358: She was a jack o lantern minus the candle
True Story:
I was standing behind two old ladies at an ice cream place yesterday (I was cheating on my diet by getting a scoop of chocolate mint chip in a dish.) Old Lady #2 had been served and was waiting for Old Lady #1.
Old Lady #1 to the Counter Girl, after being handed a huge rainbow sherbet cone:
Also give me a chocolate scoop in a dish to go. It’s for my doggie.
OL#2: For your dog?!
OL#1: She’s been very good today. It’s a treat.
OL#2: Chocolate’s bad for dogs.
OL#1: My doggie likes chocolate.
OL#2: Chocolate’s BAD for dogs. It’ll kill ‘em.
OL#1: A little won’t hurt her.
OL#2: It’s bad.
OL#1: One scoop.
OL#2: Fine! Kill the little bastard! Who cares!
Friday, August 25, 2006
Monarch butterfly on iron butterfly stake
.
This afternoon I was playing hide and seek with the yellow finches in my yard. They were landing on the coneflowers and monarda and eating the seeds. There were three females and one male. The male flew up on a shepherd's hook and tweeted, then one of the females flew up and sat beside him, then another female went kamikazee on his ass and knocked him off his perch. When I moved on the porch, they'd all fly off. There I was standing perfectly still on the porch steps, camera at the ready, while cars went by. I'm sure the drivers were wondering WTF, but I got some good shots. I have pantyhose filled with nyger seeds hanging from a hook but these birds wanted to get the seeds directly from the plants. I love yellow finches.
.This afternoon I was playing hide and seek with the yellow finches in my yard. They were landing on the coneflowers and monarda and eating the seeds. There were three females and one male. The male flew up on a shepherd's hook and tweeted, then one of the females flew up and sat beside him, then another female went kamikazee on his ass and knocked him off his perch. When I moved on the porch, they'd all fly off. There I was standing perfectly still on the porch steps, camera at the ready, while cars went by. I'm sure the drivers were wondering WTF, but I got some good shots. I have pantyhose filled with nyger seeds hanging from a hook but these birds wanted to get the seeds directly from the plants. I love yellow finches.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Pat Buchanan
I caught part of Catherine Crier’s CourtTV show yesterday. Pat Buchanan was hawking his book on illegal immigration. And God help my soul, I actually agreed with him on several points, although I’d never buy his book and put money in his pocket.
One of his main points centered around the idea that illegals drive down wages and thus make it harder for working class Americans 9the tax base) to find jobs that pay enough to support their families. He said immigration laws will never have any teeth due to the fact that corporate America love low paid illegals. (Of course I’m sure ole Pat isn’t in favor of raising the minimum wage to make it a living wage.)
One of his main points centered around the idea that illegals drive down wages and thus make it harder for working class Americans 9the tax base) to find jobs that pay enough to support their families. He said immigration laws will never have any teeth due to the fact that corporate America love low paid illegals. (Of course I’m sure ole Pat isn’t in favor of raising the minimum wage to make it a living wage.)
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
BB All Stars Quote
Will: "There's three things in this world I'm scared of: robot clowns, baby corn, and freaky little gnomes."
Monday, August 21, 2006
This made me laugh
This is mostly for Tree, but you loved Natalie, Blair, Jo and Tootie you might enjoy it as well
Facts O Life
Facts O Life
I hope Mel approves
A few days ago I was at a concert in the park and happened upon this scene. Everyone looked happy. I like happy pictures so I snapped this one! I hope everything's in focus!
Gnomes
If you're a Big Brother All Stars fan you'll notice that last night's episode was all about gnomes.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
la dolce far niente
Today is a perfect day to experience The Sweetness of Doing Nothing, or as the Italians say "La dolce far niente." This picture is for Spidey and Orbie. See the beautiful fat yellow and black garden spider? If you look closely the web is visible in the lower part of the picture. This is as close as I could get because it's in back of a Russian sage plant that was covered with bees.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Three Days In
Three days into school and LP’s doing great! Kudos to my kid. He’s brought home homework. He’s been prepared. He’s taking math, Spanish, Business apps, World Geography, English and something else I can’t remember right now. Friday he told me his business teacher (LP had him for something else last year) gave them the last ten minutes of class time to work on homework. The teacher was walking around the room and came up to Liam and said, “Why Liam, you’re actually doing your homework?” LP replied, “Yeah.” Teacher: “Great! What happened to you over the summer?” LP said he just laughed.
Three days down, a hundred and some to go. I am crossing my fingers, toes, and eyes hoping he’ll keep it up.
So today I have to go to the bank. To the grocery. And I want to go shopping for a new jacket. I was watching What Not To Wear on TLC last night and Stacy and Clinton are all about nipped-in-the-waist jackets to wear over a “nice blouse.” I want a chocolate brown one.
More chores. I have to clean the birdbath. I need to ask LP to mow the lawn (if it doesn’t rain.) I have fifty million loads of laundry to do.So why am I here with you? Bye for now!
Three days down, a hundred and some to go. I am crossing my fingers, toes, and eyes hoping he’ll keep it up.
So today I have to go to the bank. To the grocery. And I want to go shopping for a new jacket. I was watching What Not To Wear on TLC last night and Stacy and Clinton are all about nipped-in-the-waist jackets to wear over a “nice blouse.” I want a chocolate brown one.
More chores. I have to clean the birdbath. I need to ask LP to mow the lawn (if it doesn’t rain.) I have fifty million loads of laundry to do.So why am I here with you? Bye for now!
Friday, August 18, 2006
Did you notice?
If you click on Bob the Monkey "more" you can feed him a banana.
Click on Bob the Llama and feed him hay.
Click on Bob the Llama and feed him hay.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Nothing to Report
I took LP to his first day of school.
I stopped at Panera Bread for a to-go order of a medium coffee and an Asiago cheese bagel well toasted and butter.
Dubya still sucks.
I have nothing else to report.
I stopped at Panera Bread for a to-go order of a medium coffee and an Asiago cheese bagel well toasted and butter.
Dubya still sucks.
I have nothing else to report.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Loveable Schmucky Curmudgeon
I love the character of Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm. This past weekend I watched all of season five. Witness the schmuckiness:
He annoying calls “Bingo” and says it like it has six syllables (Binnnngoooo bingooooo) at the nursing home his dad is at.
He asks an old Japanese kamikaze pilot why he’s still alive.
He invites a neighborhood sex offender home for Seder dinner.
He doesn’t pay a kid the promised dollar for finding the motza because he thinks the kid’s old man gave him a hint as to where it was hidden.
He uses a handicapped bathroom stall and talks back when a handicapped (oops, “disabled” person) calls him on it.
He tries to bribe the head of the Kidney Consortium so he’ll move up his friend Richard Lewis on the kidney donor list so he (Larry) won’t have to donate one of his own.
He gets into a stand-off with a woman at a beach party for borrowing his jacket because HE had the foresight to bring it along for the cool weather.
He used his father-in-law’s Passion of the Christ Jesus nail to nail up a mazoozah (sp) a kind of Jewish “good luck charm” for Jewish homes.
He accuses Richard Lewis’ nurse of having a HUGE vagina just because she said his friend Jeff had an unusually small penis. "These big vagina women get away with murder."
He asks Cheryl’s friend Wanda Sykes if his private investigator is a Muslim because aren’t all black men who wears bow ties Muslims?
I loved loved loved it when he went to Arizona to find his “real parents” and became a Catholic middle aged white guy—complete with the fanny pack and a TGIF t-shirt!! SNORT!
pictures
This is a tiny angel seed holder on a pole. Usually it's filled with nasty rainwater so I put some nasturium blossoms in it.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Handy Help From the Wonderful BP
BP’s out of town on business and as per usual every time he’s out of town something around this house breaks down. This time it’s the garbage disposal. I IMd him last night and said he might have to cut his trip short and come home to repair it. Then I got booted offline. Later I received this email from him:
Hi Puddin,
You disappeared before I had a chance to tell you how to fix the disposal.
First, you can remove the black rubber thing in the bottom of the drain.
Make sure the disposal switch is turned off, then reach in (you can wear rubber gloves for this) and remove whatever's on top of the macerator. Then, try turning the macerator by hand, or you can use a wooden broomstick to try turning it.
If the macerator turns ok, then look on the disposal unit itself under the sink. There's a reset button on there somewhere. I can't remember if it's on the side or on the end, but it will be a small button, probably either red, white, or black, and might be either square or round. When you push it in, you should hear/feel a click. That reset's the disposal circuit breaker.
After resetting the disposal breaker, try turning it on. It should spin normally. If it doesn't, there's probably something stuck around or underneath it.
You could also ask Bill to take a look at it -- he should know how to fix it.
I'll call you later on.
I love you lots :)
d
I must tell you, he’s a genius. I followed the instructions and fixed it! I’m not mechanical at all but I’ll tell you I felt just like a regular Schneider from One Day at a Time!
Hi Puddin,
You disappeared before I had a chance to tell you how to fix the disposal.
First, you can remove the black rubber thing in the bottom of the drain.
Make sure the disposal switch is turned off, then reach in (you can wear rubber gloves for this) and remove whatever's on top of the macerator. Then, try turning the macerator by hand, or you can use a wooden broomstick to try turning it.
If the macerator turns ok, then look on the disposal unit itself under the sink. There's a reset button on there somewhere. I can't remember if it's on the side or on the end, but it will be a small button, probably either red, white, or black, and might be either square or round. When you push it in, you should hear/feel a click. That reset's the disposal circuit breaker.
After resetting the disposal breaker, try turning it on. It should spin normally. If it doesn't, there's probably something stuck around or underneath it.
You could also ask Bill to take a look at it -- he should know how to fix it.
I'll call you later on.
I love you lots :)
d
I must tell you, he’s a genius. I followed the instructions and fixed it! I’m not mechanical at all but I’ll tell you I felt just like a regular Schneider from One Day at a Time!
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Evan Bayh
I was at the same event as our junior Senator from Indiana, Evan Bayh. He's very pleasant (what pol isn't nice at a public event?) and we chatted awhile. He's a Blue elected from a Red State
. He wasn't feeling well, but I told him I was a voter and a fan and that we should
. He wasn't feeling well, but I told him I was a voter and a fan and that we should
Friday, August 11, 2006
What a world
Yesterday around noon it literally rained buckets and buckets. It was so dark it looked like 12 midnight instead of 12 noon.
London’s Heathrow (and Gatwick too, I assume) looks like a zoo. “YAY” to the Brits who foiled that plan. My sister has been over there for a week now on business—she’ll stay another week. She was there last year when those bombs went off in the buses, and no one could contact her for a few days. But then we all got to thinking, “No way in hell would Lynn ride public transportation, so we assumed she was safe.” And she was. Well, this go ‘round she emailed us immediately to let us know the story.
I read online yesterday that now we can’t take any liquids on flight, including toothpaste, mouthwash, water, etc. And if mothers take baby formula they’ll have to take a drink of it first in front of airport security before they’ll allow it on board. What a world.
London’s Heathrow (and Gatwick too, I assume) looks like a zoo. “YAY” to the Brits who foiled that plan. My sister has been over there for a week now on business—she’ll stay another week. She was there last year when those bombs went off in the buses, and no one could contact her for a few days. But then we all got to thinking, “No way in hell would Lynn ride public transportation, so we assumed she was safe.” And she was. Well, this go ‘round she emailed us immediately to let us know the story.
I read online yesterday that now we can’t take any liquids on flight, including toothpaste, mouthwash, water, etc. And if mothers take baby formula they’ll have to take a drink of it first in front of airport security before they’ll allow it on board. What a world.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Hump Day
It’s too damned early.
LP starts school a week from today.
My cosmos are finlly blooming. I have pure white ones and deep red ones. There's supposed to be pink and some other variations in the mix. We'll see.
I had a dream last night and I smelled onions. Do you ever smell while you’re sleeping? Ha
BB All Stars Update:
Good News: Janelle got Power of Veto. I thought it was funny.
Bad News The Iraqi Peach is on the block. Bye Kaysar.
I have to agree with Will . . . Howie is weird.
One day in solitary wouldn’t be so bad. Quit crying, Danielle.
Thoughts on Nancy Grace: Can anyone whose nostrils flare so much really be that indignant about injustice?
LP starts school a week from today.
My cosmos are finlly blooming. I have pure white ones and deep red ones. There's supposed to be pink and some other variations in the mix. We'll see.
I had a dream last night and I smelled onions. Do you ever smell while you’re sleeping? Ha
BB All Stars Update:
Good News: Janelle got Power of Veto. I thought it was funny.
Bad News The Iraqi Peach is on the block. Bye Kaysar.
I have to agree with Will . . . Howie is weird.
One day in solitary wouldn’t be so bad. Quit crying, Danielle.
Thoughts on Nancy Grace: Can anyone whose nostrils flare so much really be that indignant about injustice?
Sunday, August 06, 2006
LP and I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man’s Chest yesterday. I hated it. Oh, Johnny Depp was good. But it was too dark, too watery, and too dirty. The “people” on The Flying Dutchman were absolutely gross. I hated Davy Jones aka Octopussy. And everyone had bad teeth except for Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly. Blech. I liked the first one much more.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
"Have a perfectly awful bloody day!"
Here’s a pre-caffeine story from Friday. On my way to work I stopped by this local coffee joint for a cup of joe to go. It’s an anti-Starbucks and I love it. It’s in a tiny building, but they still have a drive up. Picture this I you will: You have to round the tiny building to pull up to the window. The building is only a little over one car length, so I was waiting at the building’s edge for a red van to finish with his order. Soon, a bigass gray Ford truck (you know-- the kind with the huge wheels that must be compensating for the owner’s lack of something) comes up behind me --next in line after me. He can’t see the drive-up window. Pretty soon he’s honking his horn. I ignore him and continue to listen to Bob & Tom on the radio. Then I see him going to back up and go around me, or through the grass area to get back out on the street. At this point in time I don’t know what the fuck he’s so upset about.
The red van is still waiting (these coffee people are either slow today, or Red Van has ordered a double mocha latte with extra whipped cream and a dab of cinnamon) So I see the guy get out of his truck and come to my window.
He screams, “MOVE UP, SISTER! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???”
I said, “There’s a red van there at the window!”
He said, “Oh, I didn’t see it.”
I said, “I’m not your sister and I DID SEE IT. That’s why I’m HERE. Patiently waiting my turn.”
He said (mockingly—I guess he was pissed that I dare return his tone of voice)
“THEN HAVE A NICE DAY!”
I said, “I hope you have a perfectly awful BLOODY day.”
I still can’t understand why the hell he could think someone, on a work day, would just sit in a coffee line and not move. Is that a way some people get their jollies?
---Anyway, Gas was $3.13 when I filled up today.
Yesterday evening BP used his metal lathe to make a part for the windshield wiper for his truck and was very pleased with himself.
The red van is still waiting (these coffee people are either slow today, or Red Van has ordered a double mocha latte with extra whipped cream and a dab of cinnamon) So I see the guy get out of his truck and come to my window.
He screams, “MOVE UP, SISTER! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???”
I said, “There’s a red van there at the window!”
He said, “Oh, I didn’t see it.”
I said, “I’m not your sister and I DID SEE IT. That’s why I’m HERE. Patiently waiting my turn.”
He said (mockingly—I guess he was pissed that I dare return his tone of voice)
“THEN HAVE A NICE DAY!”
I said, “I hope you have a perfectly awful BLOODY day.”
I still can’t understand why the hell he could think someone, on a work day, would just sit in a coffee line and not move. Is that a way some people get their jollies?
---Anyway, Gas was $3.13 when I filled up today.
Yesterday evening BP used his metal lathe to make a part for the windshield wiper for his truck and was very pleased with himself.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Boring Weather, LP and Sauce chat
1. It finally rained yesterday and it was heavenly.
I sat out on the porch and looked at it.
Now the temperature is about 25 degrees cooler than it has been for the last week and a half.
2. LP starts his sophomore year in 12 days. :(
Teenagers are no fun--he doesn't even want to go shopping for brand spankin' new school supplies.
He hasn't yet started driver's training. He shows no interest in it.
3. I made a kickass homemade spaghetti sauce last night. And homemade garlic bread (good loaf of French bread, combine: two cloves of garlic, smashed together with salt to make a paste, 3tablespoons of soft butter, a teaspoon of olive oil--slice the loaf lengthwise and smear the butter mixture on the bread and wrap it in aluminum foil and bake in a 350 oven for about 15-20 minutes. Yum. I put dried oregano on half of the bread)
simple sauce:
1 pound ground sirloin
1 medium onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, diced
1 can petite diced tomatoes (your own garden tomatoes would be wonderful)
2 small cans plain tomato sauce ( I like Red Gold)
1 cup of combination chopped fresh flat leaf parsley and basil leaves
salt/pepper
Brown and drain the beef --set aside
Put a few tablespoons olive oil in a pan and saute the onions and garlic, salt and pepper until translucent.
Add back the beef.
Add the tomato sauce and diced tomatoes
Stir and simmer for about thirty minutes
5 minutes before serving add in the herbs and stir everything together
I served it with linguine pasta
I sat out on the porch and looked at it.
Now the temperature is about 25 degrees cooler than it has been for the last week and a half.
2. LP starts his sophomore year in 12 days. :(
Teenagers are no fun--he doesn't even want to go shopping for brand spankin' new school supplies.
He hasn't yet started driver's training. He shows no interest in it.
3. I made a kickass homemade spaghetti sauce last night. And homemade garlic bread (good loaf of French bread, combine: two cloves of garlic, smashed together with salt to make a paste, 3tablespoons of soft butter, a teaspoon of olive oil--slice the loaf lengthwise and smear the butter mixture on the bread and wrap it in aluminum foil and bake in a 350 oven for about 15-20 minutes. Yum. I put dried oregano on half of the bread)
simple sauce:
1 pound ground sirloin
1 medium onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, diced
1 can petite diced tomatoes (your own garden tomatoes would be wonderful)
2 small cans plain tomato sauce ( I like Red Gold)
1 cup of combination chopped fresh flat leaf parsley and basil leaves
salt/pepper
Brown and drain the beef --set aside
Put a few tablespoons olive oil in a pan and saute the onions and garlic, salt and pepper until translucent.
Add back the beef.
Add the tomato sauce and diced tomatoes
Stir and simmer for about thirty minutes
5 minutes before serving add in the herbs and stir everything together
I served it with linguine pasta
Thursday, August 03, 2006
A commercial I hate
Geico has a new ad that features a middle-aged woman sitting on a piano with music icon Burt Bacharach. She’s telling a story about getting hit by a car driver who had Geico insurance. He’s singing and repeating her words. He looks Joe Cockerish, retarded (no offense), and all bent up. It’s bad. With the royalty checks he’s raking in, surely he doesn’t need the money. It’s sad. Geico: Stick with the free-pie-and-chips gecko.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Stuff I'm Excited Abouot
Season 5 Curb Your Enthusiasm is on DVD!
A new Christopher Guest movie, For Your Consideration, is in production. About acting awards season with his usual cast of zanies: Eugene Levy, Catherine O’Hara, Parker Posey, Fred Willard, even John Krasinki from The Office! Yay! Nothing better than a Christopher Guest film. Is he the only writer/director doing comedies for adults??
If I lived in New York:
I’d love to see the Martin Short Fame Becomes Me musical comedy set to debut anytime now. I adore his Jiminy Glick persona.
The tag line is: If you liked The Miracle Worker, you’ll love Martin Short Fame Becomes Me! Haha Here’s a link: Marty
BB All Stars
Enough about Mel. On to more important matters: Big Brother All Stars. Did Janelle just make the dumbest move in BB history? Ayep. She's trusting Dr. Will. uh oh. Big Mistake. We're not see enough of the Iraqi Peach. I want me some Kaysar!
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Mel
Yes he's an anti-semite and a sexist pig for his "sugartits" insult but look at Mel's booking photo. Isn't it pathetic? A glassy-eyed drunk. He's in rehab now. He might get his drinking addiction under control, but how about his hatred of Jews? WWJD?
Monday, July 31, 2006
Tasty treat
It's ungodly hot/humid out today, so I wanted to share a tasty tidbit. This stuff is wonderful. It's fat free and only has 120 calories per 1/2 cup. It's less caloric than frozen yogurt! It tastes like real mangoes which is a plus.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Oy
For our anniversary Friday night BP and I went to a nice restaurant. LP went out to eat with a few of his friends then went over to Eric’s house.
After dinner BP and I were driving to this ciggie place to get smokes for BP. We went driving down a one-way street and about two blocks ahead we saw a moped with two kids on it coming towards is. On a one-way street mind you. I was driving and said, “What the hey!!??” As we came closer the two kids on the wobbly moped were none other than my own precious LP and Eric hanging onto the back!. I saw LP mouth the words, “OH SHIT! IT’S MY MOM!”
I hate mopeds. In this town moped drivers/riders are supposed to wear helmets. Neither LP or Eric had one on. I honked the horn indicating to him to pull over, but he cut down a side street. I knew they were going home to Eric’s house, so I drove over there and sure as the world—there they were. I took him home with us and he kept staying “Wha?? I don’t understand why you guys are so mad!”
What about: 1. You’re not supposed to even be on a moped, 2. You didn’t have a helmet on, 3. You were driving down a one-way street the wrong way, and 4. You didn’t stop when I honked and indicated for you to stop.
Oy. Oy. Oy.
Anyway---
So yesterday while BP was working on his truck, LP and I met my Lexus sister, my mom, and my eldest sister and her 13 year-old daughter Erica for lunch. Afterwards we drop off Mom at Lexus’ and then the rest of us went shopping. Erica got some very cute tops for school. Her school has a dress code that the shirts have to be collared, no belly shirts, no denim--just khaki or navy pants. Within those constraints we bought her some cute tops.
Lexus bought me a few dress pants and then let me go shopping in her closet for some shirts! Some of these things still had the tags on them. So I came home with about six blouses suitable for work. She also gave me another purse. It’s a big woven burnt orange bag she’d gotten at Harrod’s last year. (pic to come later) When I got it home it even had a ten pence coin in it. Woohoo
After dinner BP and I were driving to this ciggie place to get smokes for BP. We went driving down a one-way street and about two blocks ahead we saw a moped with two kids on it coming towards is. On a one-way street mind you. I was driving and said, “What the hey!!??” As we came closer the two kids on the wobbly moped were none other than my own precious LP and Eric hanging onto the back!. I saw LP mouth the words, “OH SHIT! IT’S MY MOM!”
I hate mopeds. In this town moped drivers/riders are supposed to wear helmets. Neither LP or Eric had one on. I honked the horn indicating to him to pull over, but he cut down a side street. I knew they were going home to Eric’s house, so I drove over there and sure as the world—there they were. I took him home with us and he kept staying “Wha?? I don’t understand why you guys are so mad!”
What about: 1. You’re not supposed to even be on a moped, 2. You didn’t have a helmet on, 3. You were driving down a one-way street the wrong way, and 4. You didn’t stop when I honked and indicated for you to stop.
Oy. Oy. Oy.
Anyway---
So yesterday while BP was working on his truck, LP and I met my Lexus sister, my mom, and my eldest sister and her 13 year-old daughter Erica for lunch. Afterwards we drop off Mom at Lexus’ and then the rest of us went shopping. Erica got some very cute tops for school. Her school has a dress code that the shirts have to be collared, no belly shirts, no denim--just khaki or navy pants. Within those constraints we bought her some cute tops.
Lexus bought me a few dress pants and then let me go shopping in her closet for some shirts! Some of these things still had the tags on them. So I came home with about six blouses suitable for work. She also gave me another purse. It’s a big woven burnt orange bag she’d gotten at Harrod’s last year. (pic to come later) When I got it home it even had a ten pence coin in it. Woohoo
Friday, July 28, 2006
July 28
Today is our 7th anniversary.
I'm going to work.
BP is still sleeping. He took today off to work on his truck.
The honeymoon is over?
I'm hoping for a 'versary boink sometime today.
I'm going to work.
BP is still sleeping. He took today off to work on his truck.
The honeymoon is over?
I'm hoping for a 'versary boink sometime today.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Written by Pete Doherty's GalPal
There's a little concrete gnome sat in next door's garden,
He hasn't got a fishing rod he's got a little hard on,
Pulling open his little coat,
Flashing all his bits,
Wishing he had a little friend with a pair of concrete tits.
---
A gnome poem written by our own Meme. Thanks Toots! :)
He hasn't got a fishing rod he's got a little hard on,
Pulling open his little coat,
Flashing all his bits,
Wishing he had a little friend with a pair of concrete tits.
---
A gnome poem written by our own Meme. Thanks Toots! :)
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Spidey's a sick, sick woman
Garden Gnome Turd
This is what greeted me after a long hard day at work. Miss SpideyBunny sent me a Gnome Garden Turd in the mail! For me! Don't you wish you had a friend like Spidey?
Thank you Spidey--you're so sweet. I love my poop!!! :)
Air-conditioning
Our air-conditioner broken down last night. It’s hot in here.
Now on to more important things:
Loved Marcellas calling Kaysar “The Iraqi Peach” haha
Loved that George looked like the blueberry chick in Willie Wonka.
George’s Veto speech was sweet.
On the other hand:
The evil Dr. Will should be ashamed of himself for his “I hate you all” speech. If it’s part of his gameplay, it sucks. Why in heavens name is everyone so scared of him? He’s a loser and they should grant his wish and send him packing. If anyone else made that speech they’d be voted out immediately, but people must be thinking they want him in the Final Two. That’s not going to happen. Some milquetoast like Blah Erica will probably win.
And Jase. Holy moly—people who “call out” other players—whether on BB or Survivor—are just stupid with a Capital S.
Would you shave your head to stay in the game? I would. What’s the big deal? It’s just hair. Kaysar still looked way hot.
Kinda like the way I feel . . . without air-conditioning.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Big mistake
Big mistake. LP and I (just on occasion) have been taking Nesta out on the porch to sit when we go out. So far she’s never gotten off the bench and she likes sniffing around out there.
But recently she’s been going to the front door to meow and whine. She never ever meows any other time—just when she wants outside on the porch.
BP warned both of us not to get started taking her outside, but we wouldn’t listen. Now we have to listen to the cat meowing at the door. We also have to listen to BP’s “I told you so”s.
Earlier I had her outside with me and she got down in her kitty crouch stance (Crouching Tiger Hidden Nesta) when she saw a robin in the fountain. I thought there was going to be carnage.
But recently she’s been going to the front door to meow and whine. She never ever meows any other time—just when she wants outside on the porch.
BP warned both of us not to get started taking her outside, but we wouldn’t listen. Now we have to listen to the cat meowing at the door. We also have to listen to BP’s “I told you so”s.
Earlier I had her outside with me and she got down in her kitty crouch stance (Crouching Tiger Hidden Nesta) when she saw a robin in the fountain. I thought there was going to be carnage.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Political post
Thank God blu is out of the country, because she once said she liked me better when I was not political (or was that Urban?)
Anyway, this article pisses me off
Political Dissent
What's more American than protesting the administration or the Powers That Be?
Hello Boston Tea Party? Hello Civil Rights protests?
9/11 gave this kind of stuff validity. It gave Conservatives a legit cause to arrest anyone who was anti-war and/or anti-Bush. It's got to stop. And, yes, I'd be against it if the protesters were Republicans demonstrating against a Democratic Administration.
These current protesters ended up not being charged which makes it all the more disgusting--they get carted away, booked, stripped search . . .when the cops KNOW they are not "threats" to national security.
Anyway, this article pisses me off
Political Dissent
What's more American than protesting the administration or the Powers That Be?
Hello Boston Tea Party? Hello Civil Rights protests?
9/11 gave this kind of stuff validity. It gave Conservatives a legit cause to arrest anyone who was anti-war and/or anti-Bush. It's got to stop. And, yes, I'd be against it if the protesters were Republicans demonstrating against a Democratic Administration.
These current protesters ended up not being charged which makes it all the more disgusting--they get carted away, booked, stripped search . . .when the cops KNOW they are not "threats" to national security.
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