Monday, August 14, 2006

Loveable Schmucky Curmudgeon

I love the character of Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm. This past weekend I watched all of season five. Witness the schmuckiness:

He annoying calls “Bingo” and says it like it has six syllables (Binnnngoooo bingooooo) at the nursing home his dad is at.

He asks an old Japanese kamikaze pilot why he’s still alive.

He invites a neighborhood sex offender home for Seder dinner.

He doesn’t pay a kid the promised dollar for finding the motza because he thinks the kid’s old man gave him a hint as to where it was hidden.

He uses a handicapped bathroom stall and talks back when a handicapped (oops, “disabled” person) calls him on it.

He tries to bribe the head of the Kidney Consortium so he’ll move up his friend Richard Lewis on the kidney donor list so he (Larry) won’t have to donate one of his own.

He gets into a stand-off with a woman at a beach party for borrowing his jacket because HE had the foresight to bring it along for the cool weather.

He used his father-in-law’s Passion of the Christ Jesus nail to nail up a mazoozah (sp) a kind of Jewish “good luck charm” for Jewish homes.

He accuses Richard Lewis’ nurse of having a HUGE vagina just because she said his friend Jeff had an unusually small penis. "These big vagina women get away with murder."

He asks Cheryl’s friend Wanda Sykes if his private investigator is a Muslim because aren’t all black men who wears bow ties Muslims?

I loved loved loved it when he went to Arizona to find his “real parents” and became a Catholic middle aged white guy—complete with the fanny pack and a TGIF t-shirt!! SNORT!

5 comments:

Meme said...

the words fanny pack always make me shudder

schell said...

We're friends with this couple, and have been for years, but when they go out, the husband carries a black leather fanny pack. I can't even look at him without wanting to rip it off and shaking it at him, "What are you thinking?"

The Broards said...

You wanna see men with fanny packs? Go to amusement parks or Vegas!

Meme said...

I'm sorry but to me a fanny pack just sounds like weird type fof menstrual wear

UrbanStarGazer said...

But . . . she DID have a huge vagina . . . the cell phone . . .