Thursday, June 29, 2006
Harper Lee
1. Harper Lee wrote an article for Oprah's magazine describing how she became a reader.
Story
2. LP starts Summer School today. Don't ask me why they start on a Thursday, but they do. He's less than thrilled about getting up early.
3. We had hail yesterday. It was tiny pea-sized. When I told a group of people that it was pea-sized hail, one smartass asks, "Petite, baby peas or those big generic Aldi peas?"
4. At lunch we were bitching about the Human Resources director . . about how anti-human he is. Look up the word "asshole" in the dictionary--there he is!
One of my sisters told me she once had a HR director who had countless shoplifting arrests, but still stood up in company meetings and preached integrity, morals and ethics. She said a friend of hers went up to him after such a speech, looked him straight in the eye and said, "Among all the speakers today, you STOLE the show!" LOL. She said he got her meaning.
Story
2. LP starts Summer School today. Don't ask me why they start on a Thursday, but they do. He's less than thrilled about getting up early.
3. We had hail yesterday. It was tiny pea-sized. When I told a group of people that it was pea-sized hail, one smartass asks, "Petite, baby peas or those big generic Aldi peas?"
4. At lunch we were bitching about the Human Resources director . . about how anti-human he is. Look up the word "asshole" in the dictionary--there he is!
One of my sisters told me she once had a HR director who had countless shoplifting arrests, but still stood up in company meetings and preached integrity, morals and ethics. She said a friend of hers went up to him after such a speech, looked him straight in the eye and said, "Among all the speakers today, you STOLE the show!" LOL. She said he got her meaning.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Put on your shades
I don't know why my blog went white yesterday. Maybe I posted too many pictures, or took up too much space. Shrug.
Anyway I'm wearing a new shirt today. I look like a Hawaiian tourist.
Anyway I'm wearing a new shirt today. I look like a Hawaiian tourist.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Monday, June 26, 2006
Monday
Good article about Rainn Wilson who plays The Office’s Assistant (to the) Regional manager Dwight K. Schrute in this week’s Entertainment Weekly. He’s as quirky in real life as he is in his roles. His wife, Holiday Reinhorn, is a writer. Here is her book.
Nesta was lost yesterday. LP looked for her. I looked for her. We finally found her in my bedroom (which is off limits to the cat) curled up in my closet sleeping on my holiday wrapping paper plastic tub. She’s a certified cat—she sleeps most of the day these days.
Yesterday I watched a good special on CMT on Johnny Cash. What a man.
Nesta was lost yesterday. LP looked for her. I looked for her. We finally found her in my bedroom (which is off limits to the cat) curled up in my closet sleeping on my holiday wrapping paper plastic tub. She’s a certified cat—she sleeps most of the day these days.
Yesterday I watched a good special on CMT on Johnny Cash. What a man.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Meal plan
One of my sisters is an RN. For health reasons her doctor put her on this Meal Plan (instead of "diet") In solidarity (and because my favorite pants are too tight) I went on it too and actually it's a pretty easy plan to follow. I think the key is eating every two or three hours so you won't feel deprived. She's been on it about five weeks and has lost 12 pounds. She said the first eight days were easy---the second & third weeks were the hardest. We'll see.
Breakfast
1 skim milk product
1 ounce of protein
3 grain products
1 fat
Snack
2 oz protein
1 skim milk product
Lunch
3 ounce of protein
1 skim milk product
1 fruit
2 vegetables
2 grain products
Snack
½ serving of nuts
1 grain product
Evening Meal
2 ounce protein
2 vegetables
1 fruit
1 grain product
1 fat
Snack
1 fruit
My sister's comments:
Other tips—you cannot eat after 7:30 at night (reasoning: the body only burns 60 calories each hour (after 7:00pm))—so any calorie on top of that—will go directly into fat cells. Not eating after 7:30 at night will ensure a weight loss of five pounds each month.
Check the calorie count on things—I eat apples because a nice size apple is only 60 calories versus a small banana at 120 calories. Grapes are great because a cup is only 90 calories plus grapes will raise your blood sugar slowly—which avoids the yo-yo’ing of craving something sweet “chocolate” then something salty. I eat grapes as an afternoon snack or my evening snack.
I eat every two to three hours at 8AM, 10AM, 12PM, 2PM, 5PM and 7:30 PM. Your body needs fuel to burn fat—if you starve yourself—the body holds onto every bit of energy source—usually the pockets of sugar in fat cells—so eat every 2 to 3 hours and your body will begin burning extra unwanted calories through metabolism.
You must avoid any sodas—tea and coffee is okay, but no sugar or cream—and water (at least 64 ounces a day).
My comment:
I saw this "Miracle Tea" recipe in a magazine. I don't know if it's a miracle, but it's damned good:
Brew three green tea bags and ten whole cloves in four cups of water and let steep for four-five minutes. Fish out the bags and the cloves then add 1/4 teaspoon of both cinnamon and cardamom. You should drink the four cups throughout the day.
Breakfast
1 skim milk product
1 ounce of protein
3 grain products
1 fat
Snack
2 oz protein
1 skim milk product
Lunch
3 ounce of protein
1 skim milk product
1 fruit
2 vegetables
2 grain products
Snack
½ serving of nuts
1 grain product
Evening Meal
2 ounce protein
2 vegetables
1 fruit
1 grain product
1 fat
Snack
1 fruit
My sister's comments:
Other tips—you cannot eat after 7:30 at night (reasoning: the body only burns 60 calories each hour (after 7:00pm))—so any calorie on top of that—will go directly into fat cells. Not eating after 7:30 at night will ensure a weight loss of five pounds each month.
Check the calorie count on things—I eat apples because a nice size apple is only 60 calories versus a small banana at 120 calories. Grapes are great because a cup is only 90 calories plus grapes will raise your blood sugar slowly—which avoids the yo-yo’ing of craving something sweet “chocolate” then something salty. I eat grapes as an afternoon snack or my evening snack.
I eat every two to three hours at 8AM, 10AM, 12PM, 2PM, 5PM and 7:30 PM. Your body needs fuel to burn fat—if you starve yourself—the body holds onto every bit of energy source—usually the pockets of sugar in fat cells—so eat every 2 to 3 hours and your body will begin burning extra unwanted calories through metabolism.
You must avoid any sodas—tea and coffee is okay, but no sugar or cream—and water (at least 64 ounces a day).
My comment:
I saw this "Miracle Tea" recipe in a magazine. I don't know if it's a miracle, but it's damned good:
Brew three green tea bags and ten whole cloves in four cups of water and let steep for four-five minutes. Fish out the bags and the cloves then add 1/4 teaspoon of both cinnamon and cardamom. You should drink the four cups throughout the day.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Storms and BB
Man, we had an hellicious storm yesterday afternoon. We all gathered at the windows at work and watched the black clouds roll in from the west. The winds were bad—straight-line, in fact.
I called LP at home and told him to get Nesta and go to the basement. He told me that BP had already called him and said the same thing. I don’t know whether or not he went—sometimes he gets so macho about stuff like that.
Anyway, the storm and winds only lasted about an hour and moved on out of the area. Trees and limbs down but no other big damage.
I’m glad it’s Friday. But unlike blu, who should be in the DR this weekend, and Schell who will enjoy being with JJ (and Keith—heehee), I have nothing fun planned besides mowing the lawn. :::rolls eyes:::
For you Big Brother fans, go to www.CBS.com and vote for the "all stars." I am voting for HOWIE, KAYSAR, JANELLE and NICKOMIS, I could give two shits about the early BB people. All the sudden Latina crazyass IVETTE has denounced The Friendship Alliance. Too little too early, Bitch.
I called LP at home and told him to get Nesta and go to the basement. He told me that BP had already called him and said the same thing. I don’t know whether or not he went—sometimes he gets so macho about stuff like that.
Anyway, the storm and winds only lasted about an hour and moved on out of the area. Trees and limbs down but no other big damage.
I’m glad it’s Friday. But unlike blu, who should be in the DR this weekend, and Schell who will enjoy being with JJ (and Keith—heehee), I have nothing fun planned besides mowing the lawn. :::rolls eyes:::
For you Big Brother fans, go to www.CBS.com and vote for the "all stars." I am voting for HOWIE, KAYSAR, JANELLE and NICKOMIS, I could give two shits about the early BB people. All the sudden Latina crazyass IVETTE has denounced The Friendship Alliance. Too little too early, Bitch.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Meerkat Nesta
In honor of Meerkat Manor, LP tries to teach Nesta to stand on her hind legs.
Meme, notice the child's newest kicks.
The injustice of it all.
A few days ago a drug bust in town netted over 85 pounds of homegrown marijuana. They had a picture of a pot plant in the paper. It's such a beautiful plant, I'd like to grow it in my garden, but I'd get arrested. Isn't that silly? You'd think they'd arrest people for possession of a pot plant only if they were growing it to smoke and/or sell, not if they wanted to beautify a garden space.
It kind of looks like lupine foilage.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Orbie
I just caught up with Orbie and her blog entries. Whew! She sure does a lot for everyone. She’s a treasure in her community. I aint. Aside from family members, I don’t do anything for anybody else unless I feel like it. Sometimes I just say “no” and don’t give a reason even when the person just stands there and gawks and is probably thinking “what a bitch.”
Orbie’s way kinder than I am, and must like people. Sometimes I just think people suck.
PS: Orb, your Maddie is a gorgeous chick!
Orbie’s way kinder than I am, and must like people. Sometimes I just think people suck.
PS: Orb, your Maddie is a gorgeous chick!
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Thank yew
Today LP and I are going to my nephew and niece’s birthday party cookout. He’s two and she’s four. For E. Claire we bought an array of Hello Kitty things. She’s also into Strawberry Shortcake. How long as Strawberry Shortcake been around? I remember her from when my sister was young!
For Rossie it’s bath stuff (I know….he’ll love it) and a firetruck. This kid is the happiest, most content, child I’ve ever been around. I think he’s the 15th incarnation of the Dali Lama. Nothing upsets him (except ear infections.) He’s just a very pleasant kid. We’re also giving their older brother (who is eight) ten bucks so he won’t feel left out. I know there is some controversy about bringing something to all the kids in the family when one has a birthday, but oh well.
Yesterday I was on the porch potting up some white wave petunias and some other type of tall spikey thing with tiny white flowers (the tag just said “tropical flower”.) I was hot, sweaty and dirty. These three preteens in dresses come up the walkway. I see them out of the corner of my eye. “Oh, shit,” I thought.
Girls: We’re from the Temple Baptist Church. Do you want a tract?
(holding out a paper)
Me: No thanks. (looking back down at my pots)
Girls: We’re in your neighborhood today to invite you to one of our services.
Me: Thanks, but no. (pleasantly, believe it or not) I’m busy right now.
Two of the girls seemed to take the hint, but one said, “If you die tonight will you go to our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ?”
Me: Sorry, but my beliefs are no one’s business but my own.
I did my best Det. Brenda Johnson of The Closer voice and said “Thank yewww.”
I wanted to ask them each for a lock of hair for a special Wiccan ceremony that was taking place at midnight, but I thought better of it.
I detest proselytizers of any religion
For Rossie it’s bath stuff (I know….he’ll love it) and a firetruck. This kid is the happiest, most content, child I’ve ever been around. I think he’s the 15th incarnation of the Dali Lama. Nothing upsets him (except ear infections.) He’s just a very pleasant kid. We’re also giving their older brother (who is eight) ten bucks so he won’t feel left out. I know there is some controversy about bringing something to all the kids in the family when one has a birthday, but oh well.
Yesterday I was on the porch potting up some white wave petunias and some other type of tall spikey thing with tiny white flowers (the tag just said “tropical flower”.) I was hot, sweaty and dirty. These three preteens in dresses come up the walkway. I see them out of the corner of my eye. “Oh, shit,” I thought.
Girls: We’re from the Temple Baptist Church. Do you want a tract?
(holding out a paper)
Me: No thanks. (looking back down at my pots)
Girls: We’re in your neighborhood today to invite you to one of our services.
Me: Thanks, but no. (pleasantly, believe it or not) I’m busy right now.
Two of the girls seemed to take the hint, but one said, “If you die tonight will you go to our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ?”
Me: Sorry, but my beliefs are no one’s business but my own.
I did my best Det. Brenda Johnson of The Closer voice and said “Thank yewww.”
I wanted to ask them each for a lock of hair for a special Wiccan ceremony that was taking place at midnight, but I thought better of it.
I detest proselytizers of any religion
Friday, June 16, 2006
Last Night's Weird Dream
I was working in a bookstore. It was closing time—9pm and people would not leave. I was getting pissed. “It’s 9 pm, I’ve worked all day and I want to go home!”
Customers kept dilly-dally. It was 10pm when I finally got the doors closed. I was walking home when out of the blue a most-gorgeous, tall and dark-haired man and his beautifully dressed mother (?!!), walked by and offered to buy me a drink. We ducked into a nearby bar, ordered drinks and started talking. He said he and his mother belonged to this church and he wanted me to join. I said, “Hell, no! I don’t want to join your church!”
The mother whacked out and started babbling in some ancient type language (I think I offended her.) The man was trying to calm her down and at the same time turned to me and said, “Well then do you just want to fuck?”
Cheers!
Customers kept dilly-dally. It was 10pm when I finally got the doors closed. I was walking home when out of the blue a most-gorgeous, tall and dark-haired man and his beautifully dressed mother (?!!), walked by and offered to buy me a drink. We ducked into a nearby bar, ordered drinks and started talking. He said he and his mother belonged to this church and he wanted me to join. I said, “Hell, no! I don’t want to join your church!”
The mother whacked out and started babbling in some ancient type language (I think I offended her.) The man was trying to calm her down and at the same time turned to me and said, “Well then do you just want to fuck?”
Cheers!
Thursday, June 15, 2006
For Lubee
Lubee wanted to see a picture of me. Lulu, here we are: Me, BP and Liam dressed in drag. This was snapped before we left for church. Enjoy!
Monday, June 12, 2006
Annoying and Cloying
Entertainment Weekly did an online survey and wanted people to name the most annoying/useless television character. Some named real people: Kathy Lee Gifford for her non stop yakking about precious Cody and her stud husband Frank, Tammy Faye Bakker, Donald Trump. But most named fictional characters: Alf, Steve Urkel, etc.
I nominate Ralph Malph from Happy Days, the neighbor from Home Improvement who was only seen from his eyes up, Fantasy Island’s Tattoo, Love Boat’s Vicki Stubing, and Punky Brewster. All annoying, cloying and useless.
I nominate Ralph Malph from Happy Days, the neighbor from Home Improvement who was only seen from his eyes up, Fantasy Island’s Tattoo, Love Boat’s Vicki Stubing, and Punky Brewster. All annoying, cloying and useless.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Neccos and Gene Wilder
I was eating Neccos as we watched The Producers (I'd rate it a C+--Will Ferrell as Franz Liebkind stole his every scene) on DVD last night. My favorite colors from BEST to WORST are:
Brown
Orange
Green
Yellow
Purple
White
Pink
Black
Today is Gene Wilder's 73rd Birthday. Happy Birthday to Gene! He's one of the best comedic actors alive.
Friday, June 09, 2006
This is the time of year when the graduation announcements come in droves. Friends, relatives, friends of friends, co-workers’ children, etc. etc. etc. For most, I just send a graduation card. Why should I dole out money to a co-worker’s kid who I’ve met once when the kid was nine? All of a sudden the kid is 18 and a high school graduate and I’m supposed to buy him a gift or send him money.
My husband’s niece just graduated high school. She lives in Atlanta and she sent us an announcement. Or, to be more precise, her mother sent us an announcement. The kid is pleasant enough, is going to a bible college in the fall, but since I married BP almost seven years ago, I’ve seen her once. I bought a cute card at Target and enclosed an “atta girl!” sentiment along with a check for twenty-five dollars. I thought it was adequate, but BP (WHOSE SIGNATURE ON THE CARD I HAD TO FORGE BY THE WAY) said, “You should have sent $50.” FIFTY!!?? wtf? For high school? I thought $25 was generous for a high school gift. True or false?
My husband’s niece just graduated high school. She lives in Atlanta and she sent us an announcement. Or, to be more precise, her mother sent us an announcement. The kid is pleasant enough, is going to a bible college in the fall, but since I married BP almost seven years ago, I’ve seen her once. I bought a cute card at Target and enclosed an “atta girl!” sentiment along with a check for twenty-five dollars. I thought it was adequate, but BP (WHOSE SIGNATURE ON THE CARD I HAD TO FORGE BY THE WAY) said, “You should have sent $50.” FIFTY!!?? wtf? For high school? I thought $25 was generous for a high school gift. True or false?
Thursday, June 08, 2006
V is for Vicodin
Since LP’s surgery my days are all mixed up. Everyday seems either like a Saturday or a Sunday. Today we have an appointment with his general practioner—just to keep him updated. I’m taking all of LP’s prescriptions and see if we can ditch some. Since he’s pooping regularly (I’ll pause here so you can applaud!) I don’t think he needs the stool softener anymore.
His doctor at Riley said that if he can manage his pain, that I should wean him off the Vicodin and just give him ibuprofen. I’ve been doing that. Liam has been saying that all food tastes “funny” and it “pisses me off!” Sigh. But yesterday he didn’t have any Vicodin and the chow tasted better, so I wonder if that’s a side effect of the V. Anyone know?
He’s also taking a diuretic and a pill that retains potassium because the diuretic makes it go bye-bye in his system. He’ll probably still have to take both of them until next month when we see his surgeon again.
He really has made a remarkable recovery. How do I know this? Because he’s tired of being at home, wants to get out and walk around the mall and is back to playing the stupid idiotic X Box game that he likes. I have a summer reading list for him, so I’m sure he’ll loooooove it when we start on that!
I’m thinking about allowing him to accompany blu on her trip to Greece. I’m sure they’ll both cherish that trip!
I saw Respighi made a mean comment on my cat picture—but I’m glad to see her. I haven’t seen evidence of her existence for a long while.
His doctor at Riley said that if he can manage his pain, that I should wean him off the Vicodin and just give him ibuprofen. I’ve been doing that. Liam has been saying that all food tastes “funny” and it “pisses me off!” Sigh. But yesterday he didn’t have any Vicodin and the chow tasted better, so I wonder if that’s a side effect of the V. Anyone know?
He’s also taking a diuretic and a pill that retains potassium because the diuretic makes it go bye-bye in his system. He’ll probably still have to take both of them until next month when we see his surgeon again.
He really has made a remarkable recovery. How do I know this? Because he’s tired of being at home, wants to get out and walk around the mall and is back to playing the stupid idiotic X Box game that he likes. I have a summer reading list for him, so I’m sure he’ll loooooove it when we start on that!
I’m thinking about allowing him to accompany blu on her trip to Greece. I’m sure they’ll both cherish that trip!
I saw Respighi made a mean comment on my cat picture—but I’m glad to see her. I haven’t seen evidence of her existence for a long while.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
What's in bloom
I think these are called lollipop lillies--or something like that. I should have marked them. Anyway they're nice.
Monday, June 05, 2006
cat on a catalog
Here is the cutest kitty in the world making herself comfortable on my living room coffee table, sitting on a plant catalog. She got a brand new "safe cat" pink collar with a pink bell. She's stylin'.
My favorite 1987 era female detective
I just finished Sue Grafton’s S is for Silence. As you know Grafton’s alphabet books feature insurance detective Kinsey Milhone. I really wish Bert still read these blogs because I’d like his take on this installment. I loved it. It was one of Grafton’s better ones. Most of Kinsey’s adventures are enjoyable (except the M or P one—I forget now. But one of those really stank)
The main character in S isn’t Kinsey, it’s a dead woman named Violet Sullivan. She wondered off in 1953, and her emotionally blotto daughter Daisy hires Kinsey to see what happened to her. The book alternates between 1953 and Kinsey’s present day of 1987.
What else did I like about S? No mention of Kinsey’s hack job-of-a-haircut. No mention of her all purpose black dress. Grafton does, however, again (and again) remind us that Kinsey loves a quarter pounder with cheese more than life itself.
This Kinsey Milhone case gets an A-
The main character in S isn’t Kinsey, it’s a dead woman named Violet Sullivan. She wondered off in 1953, and her emotionally blotto daughter Daisy hires Kinsey to see what happened to her. The book alternates between 1953 and Kinsey’s present day of 1987.
What else did I like about S? No mention of Kinsey’s hack job-of-a-haircut. No mention of her all purpose black dress. Grafton does, however, again (and again) remind us that Kinsey loves a quarter pounder with cheese more than life itself.
This Kinsey Milhone case gets an A-
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Little Puddin
Thanks for all of you who asked/emailed about LP. His surgery was on Tuesday and he came through like a trooper. During his hospital stay he gave his nurses a hard time questioning everything they did--and removing his catheter was not a pleasant time.
He was released today at noon and he and BP just went to the video store. He’s on five meds and we revisit his surgeon next month.
He can’t overexert himself this summer and can’t lift more than a gallon of milk. So lawn mowing is out for the rest of the season.
He’s not eating a lot yet, and we’re still waiting for him to poop. I’ll keep you updated on that scenario.
He was released today at noon and he and BP just went to the video store. He’s on five meds and we revisit his surgeon next month.
He can’t overexert himself this summer and can’t lift more than a gallon of milk. So lawn mowing is out for the rest of the season.
He’s not eating a lot yet, and we’re still waiting for him to poop. I’ll keep you updated on that scenario.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Hotter than hell
It's hotter than hell. 84 degrees and a heat index of 96. Heavy humidity. And what was I doing? Planting Shasta daisies. My daisies burned out last year, and they're such happy flowers I wanted to plant some more. Plus every garden should have some white flowers.
Here is a picture of the soil I was amending for said daisies.
The red poppy is my pride and joy. I have never have luck with poppies but I love them.
The poppy head that looks like a hairy ballsac (maybe Basil's?) is destined to be an orange poppy. I think it's called Prince William.
The picture of that pink flower is a Mystery Flower. I remember planting some bulbs last fall among the purple coneflowers that are taking over part of the garden, but I can't remember the name of them. I almost never plant the name stake alongside the plant or bulb because I invariably say, "I'll remember what that is!" Yeah, right.
Friday, May 26, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Pictures
Here are some recent pictures. Meme the picture of my emerging lupines is for you :)
The others are of some of my containers.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Walking
What I saw on my after dinner walk:
Five dogs
One rabbit
One squirrel
Two cardinals
Three sparrows
A goldfinch
Two ducks
One Canadian goose
Three children
A man hauling paver stones for his patio
One jogger and
An old couple holding hands
I just got home from a two day meeting near Louisville. The “entertainment” was gambling at the Caesar’s boat. I won $350. Woohoo
Five dogs
One rabbit
One squirrel
Two cardinals
Three sparrows
A goldfinch
Two ducks
One Canadian goose
Three children
A man hauling paver stones for his patio
One jogger and
An old couple holding hands
I just got home from a two day meeting near Louisville. The “entertainment” was gambling at the Caesar’s boat. I won $350. Woohoo
Sunday, May 21, 2006
The DaVinci Code Review
I understand critics are raking it over the coals, but BP and I saw The DaVinci Code last night and we enjoyed it. Is it the greatest movie ever made? No, but it was enjoyable. I think it’s a hard book to translate onto the screen, but Ron Howard did an admirable job. With the use of fade outs and narration, all the “talky” history parts of the book were dealt with. Tom Hanks was alright, as Hanks always is. Audrey Tautou is absolutely adorable. I loved her in Amelie, and I liked her in this one. Ian McKellen stole every scene he was in. And Paul Bettany, who played Silas the monk, was appropriately scary. Jean Reno--the guy who played the French head detective guy--was wonderful.
The sets were well done, with an extra nod at the Louvre playting itself.
My butt did not get tired watching the two hour and a half movie, so I give it an A-
The sets were well done, with an extra nod at the Louvre playting itself.
My butt did not get tired watching the two hour and a half movie, so I give it an A-
Saturday, May 20, 2006
I Wish I Would Have Attended
This morning I got up and made coffee. No one else was up yet so I went into the living room and flipped on the television. After surfing and stopping by the Bare Essentuals infomercial, and some exercise infomercial with big-lipped Lisa Rinna, I landed on CSpan 2. They were broadcasting live from the America BookExpo in Washington DC. I could have gone again this year (remember a few years ago, I attended in Chicago where I saw, heard and groped the hand of Bill Clinton when his My Story was due to debut?) Such memories. I should have gone this year. Sigh.
Anyway, today at the Author Breakfast, I heard Amy Sedaris and John Updike. I think I missed Barack Obama. But Sedaris and Updike . . .what a combo, eh? She’s the sister of David Sedaris and hilarious in her own right. Updike, instead of discussing his new book Terrorist, instead chose to talk about books and booksellers. He made me misty-eyed. He talked of a time before the huge superstore bookstores that sell high priced coffee (no offense Respighi). . .of a time of neighborhood bookshops, of college bookstores, of the looks and smells of books, and of booksellers who actual know and read books! CSpan replays everything, so try and catch this sometime.
Anyway, today at the Author Breakfast, I heard Amy Sedaris and John Updike. I think I missed Barack Obama. But Sedaris and Updike . . .what a combo, eh? She’s the sister of David Sedaris and hilarious in her own right. Updike, instead of discussing his new book Terrorist, instead chose to talk about books and booksellers. He made me misty-eyed. He talked of a time before the huge superstore bookstores that sell high priced coffee (no offense Respighi). . .of a time of neighborhood bookshops, of college bookstores, of the looks and smells of books, and of booksellers who actual know and read books! CSpan replays everything, so try and catch this sometime.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Are you tired, run-down, listless: For Spidey
Lucy Does a TV Commercial # 31
Original Air Date: May 5, 1952
Unofficial Transcript
Transcript By: Jeffrey Thomason
(START SHOW - LIVING ROOM)
RICKY: Hi honey.
LUCY: Hi.
RICKY: What are you doing?
LUCY: Darning your socks.
RICKY: Well, good for you... I didn’t know you knew how to darn.
LUCY: Oh sure, there’s nothing to it, especially if you have a darning egg. Boy you should’ve seen the hole in this ones, taking me a half hour to sow it up.
RICKY: Hmm!
LUCY: There. Darn it I sowed up the top.
RICKY: (LAUGHS) Oh Lucy, your amazing.
LUCY: Oh well, I’ll just have to rip it out.
RICKY: NO NO! Don’t do that.
LUCY: Why?
RICKY: I can use it as a blackjack.
LUCY: Oh! Give me that now... I gotta fix it.
RICKY: (LAUGHS) Oh dear.
LUCY: Honey, where are you going?
RICKY: I’m going to rehearsal honey.
LUCY: Again! You’ve been to rehearsal everyday for a week.
RICKY: I know but I can’t help it.
LUCY: Wouldn’t it be easier to get good musicians?
RICKY: Please... no discouraging remarks.
LUCY: (LAUGHS)
(PHONE RINGS)
RICKY: I’ll get it, I’ll get it. Hello, oh hello Jerry... well my goodness Jerry there must be millions of girls who want to take this job, oh look Jerry don’t I have enough troubles putting the whole television show together without having to look for a girl to do the commercial. (LUCY OVERHEARS) Uh... um (SPEAKS IN SPANISH)
LUCY: (INTERRUPTS) Never mind, Never mind, I know what your talking about. What about a television show Ricky?
RICKY: Wait a minute, alright Jerry I’ll get the girl to do the commercial. Good bye. (HANGS UP)
LUCY: Well?
RICKY: Well, I’m gonna do a television show that’s all, and you can not be on it.
LUCY: Ah Ricky please. Just let me do the commercial.
RICKY: Nothing doing.
LUCY: Why not?
RICKY: Look honey, this is too big a chance for me, I need someone with a lot of sperience.
LUCY: Well, I’ve had sperience.
RICKY: You’ve never even been on a television show.
LUCY: Well maybe not but I watched them a lot.
RICKY: (CHUCKLES) There is a slight difference.
LUCY: Ah now Ricky
RICKY: I’m sorry honey, I got to go now. I’ll see you later.
LUCY: Ohhhh!
RICKY: ...Ohhhh
(FRED ENTERS)
FRED: Hi Lucy.
LUCY: Hi.
FRED: Need any work done up here? Ethel’s gone to see her mother for a couple of days and I got a lot of time.
LUCY: Ethel’s gone and you want to work?
FRED: Yeah, it seems, loafing isn’t any fun unless she’s nagging at me to get some work done. (LAUGHS)
LUCY: Well, there’s nothing to do up here unless you wanna job knocking some since into Ricky’s head.
FRED: What’s the matter?
LUCY: Well he’s gonna MC a big television show, and they need a girl to do the commercial, now you know how good I am at that.
FRED: Oh sure, I’ve seen you do a 100 television commercials.
LUCY: Well, I would be good if somebody'd ever give me a chance.
FRED: Now why don’t you just relax and forget the whole thing.
LUCY: Gee, if there was only some way Ricky could see me on television.
FRED: Well, now maybe you'd qualify as a lady wrestler.
LUCY: Wait a minute, wait a minute. I've got it. I know what I'm gonna do.
FRED: What?
LUCY: Well listen, when Ricky comes home tonight. I'm not gonna be here, but YOU are.
FRED: Oh I am huh?
LUCY: Yeah and your gonna turn on the television set... and you know who's gonna be on it?
FRED: Well I can only hope its Faye Emerson.
LUCY: No no. Its gonna be me.
FRED: Well how you gonna work that out?
LUCY: Never mind, you just turn on that set and leave the rest to me, ok Buster!
(NEW SCENE – LIVING ROOM)
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Well hello Fred.
FRED: Oh hi Rick.
RICKY: Where’s Lucy?
FRED: I don’t know, I came up to watch your television ours is on the blink.
RICKY: Oh...
FRED: And there’s a wonderful show coming on just about now.
RICKY: At 23 minutes after four?
FRED: Yeah, now set down there. I want you to watch it. You’ll enjoy it.
(LUCY APPEARS IN TV)
LUCY: Call for Philip Morris!
RICKY: Aye aye aye aye aye aye aye.
FRED: Look, look Rick that’s Lucy, she’s on television.
RICKY: Yeah, how bout’ that. I can't, I can't get over how clear the picture is.
FRED: Yeah.
LUCY: Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. (DROPS CIGARETTES OUT OF TV)
RICKY: We’ll whata you know third dimensional television.
FRED: Yeah.
LUCY: Shh, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. Philip Morris America's most enjoyable cigarette presents the Lucy Ricardo Show! Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah!
RICKY: I don’t think this is such a hot show Fred. I think I’ll get another station.
FRED: Oh.
LUCY: As our first offering this evening we... STOP that now go back and sit down.
RICKY: That’s very funny now come on outa there.
LUCY: As our first offerings this evening we present...
RICKY: (KNOCKS ON TV) Lucy I said come on outa there.
LUCY: As our first offering this evening we present that inevitable personality, that talented performer, that versatile entertainer, Lucy Ricardo...
(RICKY PLUGS TV IN)
LUCY: AHH! Ah, ah, ah, ah, Ricky! Ricky what are you trying to do? Are you crazy or something? What are you trying to do barbeque me!
RICKY: I’m sorry
LUCY: Are you really sorry?
RICKY: Of course I’m really (LAUGHS) sorry...
LUCY: Are you truly sorry?
RICKY: Yeahhh...
LUCY: Are you sorry enough to let me do the commercial?
RICKY: No...
LUCY: Ooh, why not?
RICKY: Look honey even if I wanted to give you the job I couldn’t, I already hired another girl.
LUCY: Oooh...
RICKY: Say... what did you do with all the works?
LUCY: I took em’ out.
RICKY: Well, I can see that but where is it?
LUCY: IT?
RICKY: Yeah, the chasse it slides right out.
LUCY: All in one piece?
RICKY: Yeah all in one piece...
LUCY: Eeeeyuaaa (TRADEMARK SOUND)
RICKY: What do you mean Eeeeyuaaa
LUCY: Well...
RICKY: Lucy, what have you done?
(LUCY EXITS)
LUCY: Well I didn’t know it all came out together.
RICKY: Sooo...
(LUCY ENTERS WITH PARTS)
LUCY: Sooo I took it out one piece at a time.
RICKY: Ahh no! ahh no!
(NEW SCENE - BEDROOM)
RICKY: Lucy I got to be at the television rehearsal in half an hour, my breakfast ready?
(SILENCE)
RICKY: Are you still not speaking to me?
(...SILENCE)
RICKY: Look I don’t care if you don’t want to talk to me or not but please get up and fix my breakfast...
(...SILENCE)
RICKY: I need my strength... Lucy are you gonna fix my breakfast or not?... what do you want me to do starve to death?
LUCY: Would you, please?
RICKY: Look I had a perfect right to ball you out. Putting that television set together is gonna cost a fortune, maybe more.
LUCY: I'm glad its broken.
RICKY: Glad?
LUCY: Yes now I won't have to look at your silly Cuban mug on that show tonight.
RICKY: (SPEAKING SPANISH) (DIALS PHONE) Hello, oh Fred? Could you come up for a minute please? Senora Ricardo and I are not speaking to each other, and I'd like you to do me a favor thank you Fred. (HANGS UP)
(LIVING ROOM)
(FRED ENTERS)
FRED: Hi Rick what do you want.
RICKY: Well, listen Fred, I Gotta go to rehearsal right away and um I'm expecting a very important phone call, and Lucy's mad at me. So would you please stay here and give someone a message?
FRED: Sure...
(LUCY’S OVER LISTENING)
RICKY: Well the girl that is gonna do the television commercial is gonna call. Now you tell her to be at Studio Ten Television Center at one o’ clock this after noon.
FRED: Alright.
RICKY: Thanks a lot Fred.
FRED: Your welcome.
(RICKY EXITS)
(LUCY ENTERS YAWNING)
LUCY: Oh hello Fred. What are you doing here?
FRED: Oh hi, Ricky asked me to wait here and take a telephone message. He told me that you two aren’t speaking to each other.
LUCY: (CHUCKLES) Oh well, I’ll take the call Fred its silly to have you wait up here.
FRED: Alright it’s ah from the girl who’s doing the commercial on Ricky’s television show tonight. And he wants her to be sure and get the message. Now you won’t mind this Lucy?
LUCY: Oh no not at all... Television Center, Studio Ten, one o’ clock.
FRED: Yeah... Wait, how did you know that?
LUCY: Oh, well that’s where Ricky does all his television shows.
FRED: Ohh... well I’ll see you later.
LUCY: Ok.
FRED: Bye.
LUCY: Bye.
(FRED EXITS)
(PHONE RINGS)
LUCY: Hello? Oh no Mr. Ricardo isn’t here. Oh yes, yes he wanted me to give you a message. He said to tell you that he’s very sorry but they already hired another girl to do the commercial, and they won't be needing you after all... good bye. (HANGS UP)... diddaly diddaly dee
(NEW SCENE – STUDIO)
DIRECTOR: Ok Joe, I’m ready to rehearse the commercial where’s the girl?
STAGE HAND: She’s studding her script she’ll be right in here.
DIRECTOR: This the new sponsor?
STAGE HAND: Yeah.
DIRECTOR: Stuff any good?
STAGE HAND: Well, it oughta be it’s got everything in it. Meat, vegetables, minerals, vitamins...
DIRECTOR: Wonder where she is...
(PRODUCER WALKS AWAY)
STAGE HAND: Alcohol 23%... ALCOHOL 23%!
(OTHER END OF STAGE)
(LUCY ENTERS)
DIRECTOR: Oh!
LUCY: Oh
DIRECTOR: Are you the young lady that’s gonna do the commercial?
LUCY: Yes sir
DIRECTOR: Well I’m Ross Kellies the Director.
LUCY: Oh, how do you do I’m Lucille uh Mcgillicutty.
DIRECTOR: Ricky sure knows how to pick em’.
LUCY: Ohh! Well thank you.
DIRECTOR: You know your lines yet?
LUCY: Well, I think so.
DIRECTOR: Well lets run though it once.
LUCY: Alright.
DIRECTOR: Now you stand right over here.
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Now lets try it once and remember be bright and vivacious .
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Alright, Maury! Will you stand by with the script please?... alright...
LUCY: (CLEARS THROAT) Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle.
DIRECTOR: Now you pick up the bottle.
LUCY: Oh!
DIRECTOR: A little higher, that’s right.
LUCY: The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle Vitameatavegamin, Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, vegetables, and minerals, yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health! All you do is take a tablespoon full after every meal.
DIRECTOR: Now you take some.
LUCY: Oh... It’s so tasty too! (TAKES SOME, MAKES FACE)... It’s just like candy.
DIRECTOR: No no no no, look you’re supposed to like the stuff. You’ve got to smile, be happy.
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Now try again.
LUCY: Yes sir... its so tasty too! (TAKES SOME, FIGHTS TO SMILE), just like candy.
DIRECTOR: Nope! Once more.
LUCY: Its so tasty too! (TAKES SOME) its just like candy.
DIRECTOR: That’s going to be fine. You, you just go ahead.
LUCY: OK... so why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow that’s vita-meata-vegamin.
DIRECTOR: Ah! That’s fine, fine, now you got the feeling now I'd like you to try it once more this time faster and brighter.
LUCY: Faster and brighter, yes sir.
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Hi Ross.
DIRECTOR: Oh hello Ricky.
RICKY: Hi Lucy, I want to see about that number...
LUCY: Hi...
RICKY: And what may I ask are you doing here?
DIRECTOR: Well, she’s gonna do the commercial.
RICKY: She’s gonna do the commercial?
DIRECTOR: Yeah!
RICKY: What did you do to the girl that was supposed to be here?... now Lucy I told you you couldn’t do the commercial... now what’s the big idea, Lucy what have you got to say for yourself?
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, list...
RICKY: Never mind, never mind, never mind, never mind that... now come on your going home.
DIRECTOR: Now wait a minute Ricky it’s too late to get anybody else, besides she’s pretty good.
RICKY: Oh sure, sure...
DIRECTOR: No I mean it, listen to her. You go ahead Ms. Mcgillicutty.
RICKY: Yeah go ahead Ms. Mcgillicutty.
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin, yes Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, vegetables, and minerals yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health. All you do is take a big tablespoon full after every meal (TAKES SOME) it’s so tasty too! Taste just like candy, so why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow that’s vita-meata-vegamin.
DIRECTOR: See what I mean.
RICKY: Alright you can do it tonight but only because we're in a spot and it’s late, understand?
LUCY: Yes sir... (HICCUPS) oh... pardon me.
RICKY: You better be good too.
LUCY: I will.
RICKY: I’ll go see abut that number Ross.
DIRECTOR: Ok.
(RICKY EXITS)
DIRECTOR: Now I’d like to do it once more this time from its so tasty too
LUCY: Its so tasty too.
DIRECTOR: That’s right.
LUCY: Yes sir... its so task too! (TAKES SOME) ...just like candy... you know this stuff tastes pretty good once you get used to it.
DIRECTOR: Yes I know, now would you go ahead, please its so tasty too
LUCY: Oh... It’s so tasty too (TAKES SOME)... so... so uh, I don’t know where to start unless I begin at the beginning.
DIRECTOR: Alright, start at the beginning.
LUCY: Oh, thank you... Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this bittle lottle... uh little bottle, uh Vitameatavegamin... Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins meat vegetables and minerals, uh yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health. All you have to do is take a big tablespoon full after every meal (TAKES SOME) it’s so tasty too! Tastes like candy HONEST! (LAUGHS). So why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of mitameatamigamin... remember that name mitavatameatimac.
DIRECTOR: Ms. Mcgillicutty?
LUCY: Hm?
DIRECTOR: Are you feeling alright?
LUCY: Oh I feel fine but its awful hot in here, must be the lights.
(STAGE HAND ENTERS)
STAGE HAND: Hey Ross.
DIRECTOR: Yeah.
STAGE HAND: The audio man wants to get a level on her voice.
DIRECTOR: Oh... Ms. Mcgillicutty...
LUCY: Huh?
DIRECTOR: Would you mind doing it just once more please?
LUCY: Oh no sir it would be perfectly alright.
DIRECTOR: Thank you, ok in the control room! Now we're going to time it this time, ready?... GO!
(...SILENCE)
LUCY: You know you’re awfully nice.
DIRECTOR: Thank you, would you go ahead please?
LUCY: ...Well, I’m your vitavitevegivac girl, are you tired run-down listless? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular... well are you?... the answer to all your problems is in this little ol’ bottle. Vitameatavegamin, (LOOKS AT BOTTLE)... that’s it. Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, megitables, and vinerals... hmm (HICCUP). So why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of uh vita.. vetee... vee ...meany-miny-momy. I tell you what you have to do. You have to take a whole tablespoon full after every meal......(DRINKS OUT OF BOTTLE). Its so tasty too! It’s just like candy so everybody get a bottle of... this stuff.
DIRECTOR: Ms. Mcgillicutty?
LUCY: Hm?
DIRECTOR: Are you alright?
LUCY: Oh I feel fine but you know it’s HOT in here!
DIRECTOR: Well do you think you’ll be able to go on with the show?...(SILENCE)... well do you?
LUCY: What?
DIRECTOR: Joe? I think you'd better take a little rest until show time
LUCY: Yeah boy it sure is hot in here.
DIRECTOR: Joe would you take Ms. Mcgillicutty to one of the dressing rooms and let her rest until show time?
STAGE HAND: Well sure, come on Ms. Mcgillicutty.
LUCY: Joe is it hot in here to you... pardon me, (TURNS TOWARDS DIRECTOR) thank you you’re very nice you’ve been a perfect gentleman. Come on Joe.
(LUCY AND STAGE HAND EXIT)
(NEW SCENE)
STAGE HAND: Hey Ross?
DIRECTOR: Yeah.
STAGE HAND: Where’s that girl that's supposed to do the commercial? I can’t find her.
DIRECTOR: She’s taking a nap in one of the dressing rooms.
STAGE HAND: No she’s not I looked in the dressing rooms.
DIRECTOR: Well, find her and get Ricky out here we're on the air in 15 seconds.
STAGE HAND: Ok! Stand by everybody 15 seconds. Hey Ricky your on, Ricky?
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, alright, alright.
DIRECTOR: A little further back Ricky.
RICKY: further back, alright.
DIRECTOR: Little more... That’s it... stand by everybody.
RICKY: Good evening ladies and gentleman and welcome to your Saturday night variety. My name is Ricky Ricardo I’m your host for this evening. We have some wonderful acts and I think we're all gonna have alota fun. So if we may we like to start things off with a little music. Mr. Hatch if you please.
(RICKY SINGS IN SPANISH)
(LUCY ENTERS, NOTICES RICKY AND GOES TO HIM)
LUCY: Hi Fred, hi Ethel, hi, hi, hello.
(LUCY TRIES SINGING WITH RICKY)
RICKY: (LAUGHS COVERING EMBARRASSMENT) Very nice, very funny... (LAUGHS)
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your vitavetavigivac girl...
(RICKY PICKS UP LUCY AND CARIES HER OFF STAGE)
LUCY: ...Are you tired run-down listless? Do you poop-out at part...
(END SHOW)
Original Air Date: May 5, 1952
Unofficial Transcript
Transcript By: Jeffrey Thomason
(START SHOW - LIVING ROOM)
RICKY: Hi honey.
LUCY: Hi.
RICKY: What are you doing?
LUCY: Darning your socks.
RICKY: Well, good for you... I didn’t know you knew how to darn.
LUCY: Oh sure, there’s nothing to it, especially if you have a darning egg. Boy you should’ve seen the hole in this ones, taking me a half hour to sow it up.
RICKY: Hmm!
LUCY: There. Darn it I sowed up the top.
RICKY: (LAUGHS) Oh Lucy, your amazing.
LUCY: Oh well, I’ll just have to rip it out.
RICKY: NO NO! Don’t do that.
LUCY: Why?
RICKY: I can use it as a blackjack.
LUCY: Oh! Give me that now... I gotta fix it.
RICKY: (LAUGHS) Oh dear.
LUCY: Honey, where are you going?
RICKY: I’m going to rehearsal honey.
LUCY: Again! You’ve been to rehearsal everyday for a week.
RICKY: I know but I can’t help it.
LUCY: Wouldn’t it be easier to get good musicians?
RICKY: Please... no discouraging remarks.
LUCY: (LAUGHS)
(PHONE RINGS)
RICKY: I’ll get it, I’ll get it. Hello, oh hello Jerry... well my goodness Jerry there must be millions of girls who want to take this job, oh look Jerry don’t I have enough troubles putting the whole television show together without having to look for a girl to do the commercial. (LUCY OVERHEARS) Uh... um (SPEAKS IN SPANISH)
LUCY: (INTERRUPTS) Never mind, Never mind, I know what your talking about. What about a television show Ricky?
RICKY: Wait a minute, alright Jerry I’ll get the girl to do the commercial. Good bye. (HANGS UP)
LUCY: Well?
RICKY: Well, I’m gonna do a television show that’s all, and you can not be on it.
LUCY: Ah Ricky please. Just let me do the commercial.
RICKY: Nothing doing.
LUCY: Why not?
RICKY: Look honey, this is too big a chance for me, I need someone with a lot of sperience.
LUCY: Well, I’ve had sperience.
RICKY: You’ve never even been on a television show.
LUCY: Well maybe not but I watched them a lot.
RICKY: (CHUCKLES) There is a slight difference.
LUCY: Ah now Ricky
RICKY: I’m sorry honey, I got to go now. I’ll see you later.
LUCY: Ohhhh!
RICKY: ...Ohhhh
(FRED ENTERS)
FRED: Hi Lucy.
LUCY: Hi.
FRED: Need any work done up here? Ethel’s gone to see her mother for a couple of days and I got a lot of time.
LUCY: Ethel’s gone and you want to work?
FRED: Yeah, it seems, loafing isn’t any fun unless she’s nagging at me to get some work done. (LAUGHS)
LUCY: Well, there’s nothing to do up here unless you wanna job knocking some since into Ricky’s head.
FRED: What’s the matter?
LUCY: Well he’s gonna MC a big television show, and they need a girl to do the commercial, now you know how good I am at that.
FRED: Oh sure, I’ve seen you do a 100 television commercials.
LUCY: Well, I would be good if somebody'd ever give me a chance.
FRED: Now why don’t you just relax and forget the whole thing.
LUCY: Gee, if there was only some way Ricky could see me on television.
FRED: Well, now maybe you'd qualify as a lady wrestler.
LUCY: Wait a minute, wait a minute. I've got it. I know what I'm gonna do.
FRED: What?
LUCY: Well listen, when Ricky comes home tonight. I'm not gonna be here, but YOU are.
FRED: Oh I am huh?
LUCY: Yeah and your gonna turn on the television set... and you know who's gonna be on it?
FRED: Well I can only hope its Faye Emerson.
LUCY: No no. Its gonna be me.
FRED: Well how you gonna work that out?
LUCY: Never mind, you just turn on that set and leave the rest to me, ok Buster!
(NEW SCENE – LIVING ROOM)
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Well hello Fred.
FRED: Oh hi Rick.
RICKY: Where’s Lucy?
FRED: I don’t know, I came up to watch your television ours is on the blink.
RICKY: Oh...
FRED: And there’s a wonderful show coming on just about now.
RICKY: At 23 minutes after four?
FRED: Yeah, now set down there. I want you to watch it. You’ll enjoy it.
(LUCY APPEARS IN TV)
LUCY: Call for Philip Morris!
RICKY: Aye aye aye aye aye aye aye.
FRED: Look, look Rick that’s Lucy, she’s on television.
RICKY: Yeah, how bout’ that. I can't, I can't get over how clear the picture is.
FRED: Yeah.
LUCY: Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. (DROPS CIGARETTES OUT OF TV)
RICKY: We’ll whata you know third dimensional television.
FRED: Yeah.
LUCY: Shh, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. Philip Morris America's most enjoyable cigarette presents the Lucy Ricardo Show! Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah!
RICKY: I don’t think this is such a hot show Fred. I think I’ll get another station.
FRED: Oh.
LUCY: As our first offering this evening we... STOP that now go back and sit down.
RICKY: That’s very funny now come on outa there.
LUCY: As our first offerings this evening we present...
RICKY: (KNOCKS ON TV) Lucy I said come on outa there.
LUCY: As our first offering this evening we present that inevitable personality, that talented performer, that versatile entertainer, Lucy Ricardo...
(RICKY PLUGS TV IN)
LUCY: AHH! Ah, ah, ah, ah, Ricky! Ricky what are you trying to do? Are you crazy or something? What are you trying to do barbeque me!
RICKY: I’m sorry
LUCY: Are you really sorry?
RICKY: Of course I’m really (LAUGHS) sorry...
LUCY: Are you truly sorry?
RICKY: Yeahhh...
LUCY: Are you sorry enough to let me do the commercial?
RICKY: No...
LUCY: Ooh, why not?
RICKY: Look honey even if I wanted to give you the job I couldn’t, I already hired another girl.
LUCY: Oooh...
RICKY: Say... what did you do with all the works?
LUCY: I took em’ out.
RICKY: Well, I can see that but where is it?
LUCY: IT?
RICKY: Yeah, the chasse it slides right out.
LUCY: All in one piece?
RICKY: Yeah all in one piece...
LUCY: Eeeeyuaaa (TRADEMARK SOUND)
RICKY: What do you mean Eeeeyuaaa
LUCY: Well...
RICKY: Lucy, what have you done?
(LUCY EXITS)
LUCY: Well I didn’t know it all came out together.
RICKY: Sooo...
(LUCY ENTERS WITH PARTS)
LUCY: Sooo I took it out one piece at a time.
RICKY: Ahh no! ahh no!
(NEW SCENE - BEDROOM)
RICKY: Lucy I got to be at the television rehearsal in half an hour, my breakfast ready?
(SILENCE)
RICKY: Are you still not speaking to me?
(...SILENCE)
RICKY: Look I don’t care if you don’t want to talk to me or not but please get up and fix my breakfast...
(...SILENCE)
RICKY: I need my strength... Lucy are you gonna fix my breakfast or not?... what do you want me to do starve to death?
LUCY: Would you, please?
RICKY: Look I had a perfect right to ball you out. Putting that television set together is gonna cost a fortune, maybe more.
LUCY: I'm glad its broken.
RICKY: Glad?
LUCY: Yes now I won't have to look at your silly Cuban mug on that show tonight.
RICKY: (SPEAKING SPANISH) (DIALS PHONE) Hello, oh Fred? Could you come up for a minute please? Senora Ricardo and I are not speaking to each other, and I'd like you to do me a favor thank you Fred. (HANGS UP)
(LIVING ROOM)
(FRED ENTERS)
FRED: Hi Rick what do you want.
RICKY: Well, listen Fred, I Gotta go to rehearsal right away and um I'm expecting a very important phone call, and Lucy's mad at me. So would you please stay here and give someone a message?
FRED: Sure...
(LUCY’S OVER LISTENING)
RICKY: Well the girl that is gonna do the television commercial is gonna call. Now you tell her to be at Studio Ten Television Center at one o’ clock this after noon.
FRED: Alright.
RICKY: Thanks a lot Fred.
FRED: Your welcome.
(RICKY EXITS)
(LUCY ENTERS YAWNING)
LUCY: Oh hello Fred. What are you doing here?
FRED: Oh hi, Ricky asked me to wait here and take a telephone message. He told me that you two aren’t speaking to each other.
LUCY: (CHUCKLES) Oh well, I’ll take the call Fred its silly to have you wait up here.
FRED: Alright it’s ah from the girl who’s doing the commercial on Ricky’s television show tonight. And he wants her to be sure and get the message. Now you won’t mind this Lucy?
LUCY: Oh no not at all... Television Center, Studio Ten, one o’ clock.
FRED: Yeah... Wait, how did you know that?
LUCY: Oh, well that’s where Ricky does all his television shows.
FRED: Ohh... well I’ll see you later.
LUCY: Ok.
FRED: Bye.
LUCY: Bye.
(FRED EXITS)
(PHONE RINGS)
LUCY: Hello? Oh no Mr. Ricardo isn’t here. Oh yes, yes he wanted me to give you a message. He said to tell you that he’s very sorry but they already hired another girl to do the commercial, and they won't be needing you after all... good bye. (HANGS UP)... diddaly diddaly dee
(NEW SCENE – STUDIO)
DIRECTOR: Ok Joe, I’m ready to rehearse the commercial where’s the girl?
STAGE HAND: She’s studding her script she’ll be right in here.
DIRECTOR: This the new sponsor?
STAGE HAND: Yeah.
DIRECTOR: Stuff any good?
STAGE HAND: Well, it oughta be it’s got everything in it. Meat, vegetables, minerals, vitamins...
DIRECTOR: Wonder where she is...
(PRODUCER WALKS AWAY)
STAGE HAND: Alcohol 23%... ALCOHOL 23%!
(OTHER END OF STAGE)
(LUCY ENTERS)
DIRECTOR: Oh!
LUCY: Oh
DIRECTOR: Are you the young lady that’s gonna do the commercial?
LUCY: Yes sir
DIRECTOR: Well I’m Ross Kellies the Director.
LUCY: Oh, how do you do I’m Lucille uh Mcgillicutty.
DIRECTOR: Ricky sure knows how to pick em’.
LUCY: Ohh! Well thank you.
DIRECTOR: You know your lines yet?
LUCY: Well, I think so.
DIRECTOR: Well lets run though it once.
LUCY: Alright.
DIRECTOR: Now you stand right over here.
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Now lets try it once and remember be bright and vivacious .
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Alright, Maury! Will you stand by with the script please?... alright...
LUCY: (CLEARS THROAT) Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle.
DIRECTOR: Now you pick up the bottle.
LUCY: Oh!
DIRECTOR: A little higher, that’s right.
LUCY: The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle Vitameatavegamin, Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, vegetables, and minerals, yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health! All you do is take a tablespoon full after every meal.
DIRECTOR: Now you take some.
LUCY: Oh... It’s so tasty too! (TAKES SOME, MAKES FACE)... It’s just like candy.
DIRECTOR: No no no no, look you’re supposed to like the stuff. You’ve got to smile, be happy.
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Now try again.
LUCY: Yes sir... its so tasty too! (TAKES SOME, FIGHTS TO SMILE), just like candy.
DIRECTOR: Nope! Once more.
LUCY: Its so tasty too! (TAKES SOME) its just like candy.
DIRECTOR: That’s going to be fine. You, you just go ahead.
LUCY: OK... so why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow that’s vita-meata-vegamin.
DIRECTOR: Ah! That’s fine, fine, now you got the feeling now I'd like you to try it once more this time faster and brighter.
LUCY: Faster and brighter, yes sir.
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Hi Ross.
DIRECTOR: Oh hello Ricky.
RICKY: Hi Lucy, I want to see about that number...
LUCY: Hi...
RICKY: And what may I ask are you doing here?
DIRECTOR: Well, she’s gonna do the commercial.
RICKY: She’s gonna do the commercial?
DIRECTOR: Yeah!
RICKY: What did you do to the girl that was supposed to be here?... now Lucy I told you you couldn’t do the commercial... now what’s the big idea, Lucy what have you got to say for yourself?
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, list...
RICKY: Never mind, never mind, never mind, never mind that... now come on your going home.
DIRECTOR: Now wait a minute Ricky it’s too late to get anybody else, besides she’s pretty good.
RICKY: Oh sure, sure...
DIRECTOR: No I mean it, listen to her. You go ahead Ms. Mcgillicutty.
RICKY: Yeah go ahead Ms. Mcgillicutty.
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin, yes Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, vegetables, and minerals yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health. All you do is take a big tablespoon full after every meal (TAKES SOME) it’s so tasty too! Taste just like candy, so why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow that’s vita-meata-vegamin.
DIRECTOR: See what I mean.
RICKY: Alright you can do it tonight but only because we're in a spot and it’s late, understand?
LUCY: Yes sir... (HICCUPS) oh... pardon me.
RICKY: You better be good too.
LUCY: I will.
RICKY: I’ll go see abut that number Ross.
DIRECTOR: Ok.
(RICKY EXITS)
DIRECTOR: Now I’d like to do it once more this time from its so tasty too
LUCY: Its so tasty too.
DIRECTOR: That’s right.
LUCY: Yes sir... its so task too! (TAKES SOME) ...just like candy... you know this stuff tastes pretty good once you get used to it.
DIRECTOR: Yes I know, now would you go ahead, please its so tasty too
LUCY: Oh... It’s so tasty too (TAKES SOME)... so... so uh, I don’t know where to start unless I begin at the beginning.
DIRECTOR: Alright, start at the beginning.
LUCY: Oh, thank you... Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this bittle lottle... uh little bottle, uh Vitameatavegamin... Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins meat vegetables and minerals, uh yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health. All you have to do is take a big tablespoon full after every meal (TAKES SOME) it’s so tasty too! Tastes like candy HONEST! (LAUGHS). So why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of mitameatamigamin... remember that name mitavatameatimac.
DIRECTOR: Ms. Mcgillicutty?
LUCY: Hm?
DIRECTOR: Are you feeling alright?
LUCY: Oh I feel fine but its awful hot in here, must be the lights.
(STAGE HAND ENTERS)
STAGE HAND: Hey Ross.
DIRECTOR: Yeah.
STAGE HAND: The audio man wants to get a level on her voice.
DIRECTOR: Oh... Ms. Mcgillicutty...
LUCY: Huh?
DIRECTOR: Would you mind doing it just once more please?
LUCY: Oh no sir it would be perfectly alright.
DIRECTOR: Thank you, ok in the control room! Now we're going to time it this time, ready?... GO!
(...SILENCE)
LUCY: You know you’re awfully nice.
DIRECTOR: Thank you, would you go ahead please?
LUCY: ...Well, I’m your vitavitevegivac girl, are you tired run-down listless? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular... well are you?... the answer to all your problems is in this little ol’ bottle. Vitameatavegamin, (LOOKS AT BOTTLE)... that’s it. Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, megitables, and vinerals... hmm (HICCUP). So why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of uh vita.. vetee... vee ...meany-miny-momy. I tell you what you have to do. You have to take a whole tablespoon full after every meal......(DRINKS OUT OF BOTTLE). Its so tasty too! It’s just like candy so everybody get a bottle of... this stuff.
DIRECTOR: Ms. Mcgillicutty?
LUCY: Hm?
DIRECTOR: Are you alright?
LUCY: Oh I feel fine but you know it’s HOT in here!
DIRECTOR: Well do you think you’ll be able to go on with the show?...(SILENCE)... well do you?
LUCY: What?
DIRECTOR: Joe? I think you'd better take a little rest until show time
LUCY: Yeah boy it sure is hot in here.
DIRECTOR: Joe would you take Ms. Mcgillicutty to one of the dressing rooms and let her rest until show time?
STAGE HAND: Well sure, come on Ms. Mcgillicutty.
LUCY: Joe is it hot in here to you... pardon me, (TURNS TOWARDS DIRECTOR) thank you you’re very nice you’ve been a perfect gentleman. Come on Joe.
(LUCY AND STAGE HAND EXIT)
(NEW SCENE)
STAGE HAND: Hey Ross?
DIRECTOR: Yeah.
STAGE HAND: Where’s that girl that's supposed to do the commercial? I can’t find her.
DIRECTOR: She’s taking a nap in one of the dressing rooms.
STAGE HAND: No she’s not I looked in the dressing rooms.
DIRECTOR: Well, find her and get Ricky out here we're on the air in 15 seconds.
STAGE HAND: Ok! Stand by everybody 15 seconds. Hey Ricky your on, Ricky?
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, alright, alright.
DIRECTOR: A little further back Ricky.
RICKY: further back, alright.
DIRECTOR: Little more... That’s it... stand by everybody.
RICKY: Good evening ladies and gentleman and welcome to your Saturday night variety. My name is Ricky Ricardo I’m your host for this evening. We have some wonderful acts and I think we're all gonna have alota fun. So if we may we like to start things off with a little music. Mr. Hatch if you please.
(RICKY SINGS IN SPANISH)
(LUCY ENTERS, NOTICES RICKY AND GOES TO HIM)
LUCY: Hi Fred, hi Ethel, hi, hi, hello.
(LUCY TRIES SINGING WITH RICKY)
RICKY: (LAUGHS COVERING EMBARRASSMENT) Very nice, very funny... (LAUGHS)
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your vitavetavigivac girl...
(RICKY PICKS UP LUCY AND CARIES HER OFF STAGE)
LUCY: ...Are you tired run-down listless? Do you poop-out at part...
(END SHOW)
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
To be continued . . .
I have a 3 day business meeting in a few weeks, two big projects to get done, I have to work on goosing BP to replace the guttering, and LP's surgery at the end of the month, so my blog is now on hiatus until next month. Enjoy May.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Bushism from Calendar
"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." --Dubya, Washington, DC; May 25, 2004
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Pictures Aplenty
Here are some pictures I took yesterday. That's my first iris in bloom. The wizard and colored rocks sitting in a dish atop the wooden crates thing is on my porch for awhile.
Then there's the copper fountain beside statue of Saint Francis. In front of the fountain is a container planted with strawberries.
That's a picture of a bleeding heart. It's the first year it's really looked pretty. I'm surprised that it lived--Last fall I Rounded-Up the bed it was in, but since they die back and disappear after they bloom, maybe that's why it was saved.
That's one of the barrels I told you about. This one is planted with herbs: Rosemary, two kinds of parsley, thyme, peppermint and basil.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Haircut/Customs
I got a cute springy haircut from my favorite haircutter, Kasey. She’s in her early twenties, bubbly, cute, optimistic and talented, but what the hell, I still like her! I feel good every time I leave her place. That’s the mark of a good hair stylist.
I also finished a travel book I bought the other day: Behave Yourself! The Essential Guide to International Etiquette by Michael Powell. It’s a small tome arranged by countries. The Dos and Don’ts of each culture: Meeting and Greeting, Conversation, Dress, Eating and drinking etiquette. People in some cultures don’t like to do a lot of smiling (I know it’s hard to believe.) Maybe they’re like The Office’s Dwight, who proclaims that he never smiles unless forced to. A toothy smile is what submissive primates show. Standing with your hands in your pockets is a no-no in some countries, as is showing flashy jewelry.
Anyway, if I ever travel to Pakistan I’ll know not to ever accept anything anyone offers me, unless they make repeated offers. They think it’s polite to offer to give you anything that you comment on (“Oh, what a lovely scarf.”) It saves face. They’re poor, so don’t take them up on the offer. Also, lone female travelers are frowned upon and will be shunned. Ask a Pakistani about his “family and children” but NEVER about his wife.
Don’t insult a Norwegian by lumping him in with Swedes and Danes. They have their own culture. Would you like being mistaken for a Canadian?
According to this book, most people in the world dress better than jean-clad Americans. Doesn’t mean they have more money, they’re just more conscious about their appearance in public.
Chileans, Russians, Poles have very little “personal space.” They’ll stand very close to you. (Seinfeld’s “Close talker”?) Don’t back up. They’ll be offended and just move closer to you anyway.
Maybe Americans who travel abroad should research local customs. Maybe it will cut down on the stereotypical Ugly American.
I also finished a travel book I bought the other day: Behave Yourself! The Essential Guide to International Etiquette by Michael Powell. It’s a small tome arranged by countries. The Dos and Don’ts of each culture: Meeting and Greeting, Conversation, Dress, Eating and drinking etiquette. People in some cultures don’t like to do a lot of smiling (I know it’s hard to believe.) Maybe they’re like The Office’s Dwight, who proclaims that he never smiles unless forced to. A toothy smile is what submissive primates show. Standing with your hands in your pockets is a no-no in some countries, as is showing flashy jewelry.
Anyway, if I ever travel to Pakistan I’ll know not to ever accept anything anyone offers me, unless they make repeated offers. They think it’s polite to offer to give you anything that you comment on (“Oh, what a lovely scarf.”) It saves face. They’re poor, so don’t take them up on the offer. Also, lone female travelers are frowned upon and will be shunned. Ask a Pakistani about his “family and children” but NEVER about his wife.
Don’t insult a Norwegian by lumping him in with Swedes and Danes. They have their own culture. Would you like being mistaken for a Canadian?
According to this book, most people in the world dress better than jean-clad Americans. Doesn’t mean they have more money, they’re just more conscious about their appearance in public.
Chileans, Russians, Poles have very little “personal space.” They’ll stand very close to you. (Seinfeld’s “Close talker”?) Don’t back up. They’ll be offended and just move closer to you anyway.
Maybe Americans who travel abroad should research local customs. Maybe it will cut down on the stereotypical Ugly American.
Creed
One of my new favorite The Office characters is the old man Creed. Last night’s episode was about complaints to HR. The young temp Ryan had complained that Creed always had an “Old Man smell.” Creed smiled and said, “I know what he means. He opened his desk drawer to show a layer of sprouted mung beans on paper towels. “I sprout mung beans in my desk,” and as he popped some in his mouth he deadpans, “they smell like death.” Hahahaha. I laughed out loud. This was a good episode—I laughed out loud three times. I very seldom do that while watching TV.
I tried to Google a picture of the guy who plays Creed (I think his name actually is Creed) but no luck. He was in a background shot of one the of photos on the sitcom's website but it wasn't a good one.
I tried to Google a picture of the guy who plays Creed (I think his name actually is Creed) but no luck. He was in a background shot of one the of photos on the sitcom's website but it wasn't a good one.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
email hoaxes
I received a forwarded email today telling me of the dangers of flashing headlights at a car driving without lights on. Supposedly this is a gang initiation and the occupants of the car will follow you and KILL YOU DEAD! Adios! Bye-bye.
I sent this person the www.snopes.com website with the information that this email has been around for over ten years and it is false.
What's worse, the guy who sent me the email is a police officer and it was sent to him by his captain. Sigh.
I sent this person the www.snopes.com website with the information that this email has been around for over ten years and it is false.
What's worse, the guy who sent me the email is a police officer and it was sent to him by his captain. Sigh.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
I voted today.
Indiana holds its primary elections on the first Tuesday in May. Today. So I went to vote. A bunch of school board people, and other assorted local politicians. People can’t solicit 50 yards from the polls so they stand in a line in the parking lot. This one pushy broard asks me, “Did you come here to vote?” I gave her a “why else would I be here at 6:15 am?” look. She then shoves her election brochure into my hand and pipes up with a “VOTE FOR ME!!!” Not an “I’d appreciate your vote,” or “Please vote for me.” So I looked at the name under her picture on the brochure, went into the polling place and voted against her.
Did anyone in the history of mankind walk up to a polling place and just by being told to vote for Candidate A as opposed to Candidate B, slap themselves in the forehead and say, “Wow! I guess I’ll vote for YOU!”?
My point: 100% of the people (Internet statistic) who haul their asses out of bed to vote in a PRIMARY of all things are pretty much set as to who(m) they’re voting for.
Did anyone in the history of mankind walk up to a polling place and just by being told to vote for Candidate A as opposed to Candidate B, slap themselves in the forehead and say, “Wow! I guess I’ll vote for YOU!”?
My point: 100% of the people (Internet statistic) who haul their asses out of bed to vote in a PRIMARY of all things are pretty much set as to who(m) they’re voting for.
For Urban
Hands sounds like BP. He thinks all flowers should smell nice.
Check around the nursery, but also check out what your neighbors plant.
My Favorite Smell-gooders:
Lavender
Dianthus (pinks)
Nicociana (Flowering tobacco)
Heliotrope (smells like vanilla)
Lillies
Roses
Herbs
Allyssum
Spring bulbs:
hyacinths
Daffodils
Tulips
Lilac bushes
Check around the nursery, but also check out what your neighbors plant.
My Favorite Smell-gooders:
Lavender
Dianthus (pinks)
Nicociana (Flowering tobacco)
Heliotrope (smells like vanilla)
Lillies
Roses
Herbs
Allyssum
Spring bulbs:
hyacinths
Daffodils
Tulips
Lilac bushes
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Crappy weather but lots of plants
I went on a wild spending spree yesterday. The way blu buys designer knockoffs I buy plants. Especially in the Spring time. But the weather turned shitty again so all of these plants are on my front porch huddled together in big cartons and in paper bags. Yesterday I looked at the weather forecast and it’s rain, rain, rain, showers, partly cloudy, rain, rain, cloudy, partly cloudly for the next ten freaking days. Mother Nature/God . . hello . . . my solar powered copper fountain needs sun to run, Honey. Cloudy, rainy days aint gonna cut it.
Anyway, Rural King (a seed/tool/cheapy-creepy store) had big ole pots of rosemary for $2.99 each!
Most of this stuff is going in the wine barrels. Here’s what’s living on my porch for awhile:
3 rosemary
3 different tomato plants (BP put them in the crat and expects me to plant them)
3 different pepper plants (BP again)
1 fernleaf dill
2 thymes
3 Italian parsley
1 curly parsley (for butterflies to use to have sex and lay their eggs in)
3 Basils (no bollocks on my basils either)
2 Wave petunias (a start for my hanging baskets)
I want some snapdragons but they were all in full bloom, and you do NOT buy bedding plants when their in full bloom at the nursery (no matter what Ded will try and sell you.) You want plants to bloom at your home, not in the nursery.
I’ve got my list ready for the other containers but I won’t buy anything else for at least two weeks.
Anyway, Rural King (a seed/tool/cheapy-creepy store) had big ole pots of rosemary for $2.99 each!
Most of this stuff is going in the wine barrels. Here’s what’s living on my porch for awhile:
3 rosemary
3 different tomato plants (BP put them in the crat and expects me to plant them)
3 different pepper plants (BP again)
1 fernleaf dill
2 thymes
3 Italian parsley
1 curly parsley (for butterflies to use to have sex and lay their eggs in)
3 Basils (no bollocks on my basils either)
2 Wave petunias (a start for my hanging baskets)
I want some snapdragons but they were all in full bloom, and you do NOT buy bedding plants when their in full bloom at the nursery (no matter what Ded will try and sell you.) You want plants to bloom at your home, not in the nursery.
I’ve got my list ready for the other containers but I won’t buy anything else for at least two weeks.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
I'm back.
I'm back. Thanks for all the posts, you nutballs. I went to a meeting which was held at one of the casino hotels in southern Indiana. Friday was a beautiful day and we had fun, although I did lose two hundred dollars in the slots. Oh, well.
We bough a new copper fountain that's solar powered and BP installed it for me on Thursday. I love it, and it will look neater once it ages and gets that cool copper patina. I'll post a picture later. I bought it off the INternet and it wasn't that expensive. The birds love it already.
We bough a new copper fountain that's solar powered and BP installed it for me on Thursday. I love it, and it will look neater once it ages and gets that cool copper patina. I'll post a picture later. I bought it off the INternet and it wasn't that expensive. The birds love it already.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
Cooking with Emma
We go to this good Thai restaurant and I love their basil beef dish. I tried to replicate it at home and it’s very good. I made it yesterday for dinner, and I’ll have the leftovers for lunch today!
My Thai Basil Beef w/ Jasmine Rice
Ingredients
One pound or so good steak (I use sirloin) Cut into bite sized pieces (You can also make this with boneless chicken)
1 yellow pepper, thinly sliced
1 red pepper, thinly sliced
1 small yellow onion, thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
1 small can of coconut milk (I use low fat) (Find it on the Asian foods aisle)
1 ¼ cups uncooked jasmine rice
1 small can of chicken stock/broth
1 tablespoon curry powder (I use red curry)
I teaspoon cumin
1/8 teaspoon (dash) of cinnamon
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon Kosher salt
1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
½ cup fresh chopped basil
olive oil
About one hour before:
Marinate the steak with about two tablespoons of olive oil and half of the curry powder and half the black pepper. Refrigerate.
For the rice:
Put a tablespoon of olive oil in the bottom of a hot pan. Add rice. Stir, coating the rice for about a minute. Add chicken stock and two tablespoons of the coconut milk. Bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to low until the rice is cooked through.
In a large saute pan:
Put the marinated steak into the hot pan and sear on both sides (about a minute on each side). Set aside in a bowl. Then in the same pan over medium heat, add about a tablespoon of olive oil and then add the peppers, onions and garlic. Cook for about five minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the rest of the curry powder, cumin, salt, cinnamon, pepper and the rest of red pepper flakes. Add the steak back in. Add the remaining coconut milk and stir. Cover and cook through on low heat for about ten minutes. A minute before serving stir in the basil. Serve with the rice.
My Thai Basil Beef w/ Jasmine Rice
Ingredients
One pound or so good steak (I use sirloin) Cut into bite sized pieces (You can also make this with boneless chicken)
1 yellow pepper, thinly sliced
1 red pepper, thinly sliced
1 small yellow onion, thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
1 small can of coconut milk (I use low fat) (Find it on the Asian foods aisle)
1 ¼ cups uncooked jasmine rice
1 small can of chicken stock/broth
1 tablespoon curry powder (I use red curry)
I teaspoon cumin
1/8 teaspoon (dash) of cinnamon
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon Kosher salt
1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
½ cup fresh chopped basil
olive oil
About one hour before:
Marinate the steak with about two tablespoons of olive oil and half of the curry powder and half the black pepper. Refrigerate.
For the rice:
Put a tablespoon of olive oil in the bottom of a hot pan. Add rice. Stir, coating the rice for about a minute. Add chicken stock and two tablespoons of the coconut milk. Bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to low until the rice is cooked through.
In a large saute pan:
Put the marinated steak into the hot pan and sear on both sides (about a minute on each side). Set aside in a bowl. Then in the same pan over medium heat, add about a tablespoon of olive oil and then add the peppers, onions and garlic. Cook for about five minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the rest of the curry powder, cumin, salt, cinnamon, pepper and the rest of red pepper flakes. Add the steak back in. Add the remaining coconut milk and stir. Cover and cook through on low heat for about ten minutes. A minute before serving stir in the basil. Serve with the rice.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
I sent a nastygram to Oprah
I don’t watch Oprah on a daily basis, but I did happen to catch it on Friday. The topic was “Class in America.” Great topic, but the show really sucked. The producer should be fired.
She had on Clinton’s Secretary of Labor Robert Reich (looking very gnomish by the way). Oprah kept him in an audience chair. He told us what we all know. 80-90% of this country’s wealth is in the hands of 1% of the people. The middle class is shrinking. More poor in America. “The American Dream” is no longer attainable for everyone.
So instead of a good discussion, the show highlighted three or four vapid women who said that they generalized the “lower class” were people with non-designer bags, dressly poorly and had dirty fingernails. One wailed that people looked down on her even though she drove a BMW because she was a hostess in a high-end restaurant. Waaaaaaaaa. Big fucking deal.
I was waiting for Miss Oprah to say, “Hey! Wait a second. There are many many people out there with dirty ingernails who are honest, hard working and have great character. But she didn’t say a word.
There was one lower working class black guy who said that he felt invisible. The only legitimate comment of the show.
Some snot-nosed heir to the Johnson & Johnson fortune was on hawking his film, and he admitted that, yes, he would be disappointed if he was cut out of his father’s will. SHOCKER.
Also Warren Buffet’s granddaughter was on (both she and the Johnson kid got to sit by Oprah, btw.) She told the harrowing tale of not getting a penny from her grandfather. (Although he paid her way through college so she could do whatever she wanted.)
What could have been an interesting and informative show was a real mess.
She had on Clinton’s Secretary of Labor Robert Reich (looking very gnomish by the way). Oprah kept him in an audience chair. He told us what we all know. 80-90% of this country’s wealth is in the hands of 1% of the people. The middle class is shrinking. More poor in America. “The American Dream” is no longer attainable for everyone.
So instead of a good discussion, the show highlighted three or four vapid women who said that they generalized the “lower class” were people with non-designer bags, dressly poorly and had dirty fingernails. One wailed that people looked down on her even though she drove a BMW because she was a hostess in a high-end restaurant. Waaaaaaaaa. Big fucking deal.
I was waiting for Miss Oprah to say, “Hey! Wait a second. There are many many people out there with dirty ingernails who are honest, hard working and have great character. But she didn’t say a word.
There was one lower working class black guy who said that he felt invisible. The only legitimate comment of the show.
Some snot-nosed heir to the Johnson & Johnson fortune was on hawking his film, and he admitted that, yes, he would be disappointed if he was cut out of his father’s will. SHOCKER.
Also Warren Buffet’s granddaughter was on (both she and the Johnson kid got to sit by Oprah, btw.) She told the harrowing tale of not getting a penny from her grandfather. (Although he paid her way through college so she could do whatever she wanted.)
What could have been an interesting and informative show was a real mess.
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