Saturday, December 16, 2006

Saffron Turducken

So I was in the spice aisle at Meijer's today looking for the ground cumin when I overheard these two women fighting about saffron. The older one thought that McCormick's made a mistake because "those saffron bottles are empty."
"No," said the other one, "it's like threads or something. They're in there."
"You're crazy," said the first. "Who would buy that empty bottles? And why does it cost so much?"

I left them there to duke it out. Saffron costs so much because it takes 50 million billion crocuses (croci?) to make a pound of that stuff. And to pay all those young Turks to gather it.

Saffron rice is really good though.
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I have all the Christmas stuff I'm going to buy . . . bought. And wrapped. Now the only thing I have to worry about is what I'm making for dinner that day. I don't want to buy a big turkey. I'm not a ham person--unless it's that expensive spiral sliced stuff.Turducken? Nah . . Tony Bourdain has a funny commercial about turducken (he's against it.)

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The end.

Friday, December 15, 2006

My Favorite Bits from the Office Christmas parties

  • Steve Carrell's face whenever he said "Jamaica Sandals All Inclusive"

  • Michael Scott marking "his" Asian girlfriend. I actually laughed out loud.

  • Steve Carrell singing that godawful James Blunt song Goodbye My Lover.

  • Was that Jan Levinson-Gould (now just Levinson) on the other end of the last phone call?

  • Dwight taking about knives with the Benihana chef.

  • Jim talking about Michael Photoshopping himself into Carol's Christmas card

  • Michael stealing steak from the guy.

  • Toby's poor hang dog face when Dwight stole his bathrobe. I'm glad they're featuring Toby more.

  • Ryan's list of excuses.

  • Kelly singing We Belong Together for Ryan.

TAR, Survivor

I didn’t like The Amazing Race once Dave & Mary and the Chos left, and I liked it even less when the Male Models-Slash-Former Drug Addicts won. You’d think former drug addicts would be interesting—they weren’t.

Apparently they’re now filming TAR All Stars, including coalminers Mary & Dave and the Superstars of all Reality Shows Rob and his dull wife Amba.

Survivor. This go ‘round has been mucho boring. I liked that Jonathan guy, I think mainly because he sounds just like Alan Alda. Adam dude (the prerequisite Hot, But Dumb Guy) said he didn’t like Jonathan because he “didn’t have integrity.” (rolls eyes.) I think that in the near future the Survivor Producer should make it a rule that no one can call out another player because, 1) they lied, 2) they don’t have integrity, or 3) they’re lazy around camp. Season after season players seemed to be shocked, SHOCKED, I say, that other players fall into one of these categories. Duh. If I have to root for one player, I guess I’ll root for Yul to win. He’s played the Immunity Idol thing very well. TVGuide.com said there’s a BIG TWIST on Survivor—three finalists instead of two. Woooo.

I’m tired of Reality Shows.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Today

In the office today we are enjoying the soothing music of Tchaikovsky and his Nutcracker, The Sleeping Beauty, and Swan Lake.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006












Neostyle College 296. These are my new glasses I mentioned in the post below. The picture does not do them justice--it doesn't capture the subtle shadings, and of course, the sexiness when I'm donning them.

Christmas Party and Glasses

Last night’s dinner get-together was fun, but the food sucked big time. Aren’t Italian restaurants supposed to know how to make good Italian dishes? I ordered the spaghetti with Italian sausage and instead of, like, Italian sausage meatballs this place brought out this huge, grotesque and slightly obscene plate of plate with a big old sausage link on top. Blech. So I drank a pina colada, ate mostly salad and garlic bread.
The game part was fun. What is it about middle aged women that makes them go gaga over a stuffed Santa Claus or a Polar Bear Christmas stocking? Those were the two items that kept getting stolen—oh, and a box of Russell Stover chocolates. If you’re going to buy a good box of chocolates to give as a gift, Russell Stover isn’t the best.
Yours Truly selected a gift bag—inside was a pink lava lamp nightlight. I thought of Sparky and his lava light obsession, and my evening was nearly ruined. Needless to say, no one stole the lava lamp from me.
I got home at nine, took and bath and was in bed by ten. Whooo hooo.
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BP and I got our new glasses yesterday afternoon. Mine are way cute. His—not so much. He got two pair, one pair normal everyday glasses and the other pair “safety” glasses (complete with removable side shields, attractive, eh?) for when he works with his big, manly tools. These three pairs of glasses cost us over $1000. I kid you not. Outrageous.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Assorted Items

Yesterday I took my staff out for a Christmas lunch, and then we came back and worked until five. Well, I worked until four, they worked until five. It’s good to be the King.

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I found the most adorable Christmas snack/cereal/candy bowls at Kohl’s. I bought all they had and I’m going to fill them with all kinds of goodies, wrap them in festive cellophane and ribbons, and make party favors and give them to all my people who are going to French Lick for my birthday. That is—if we end up going at all.

1’s mad at 4
2’s mad at 7
3’s mad at 4
4’s mad at 3, 7 and 1
5’s mad at 4
6’s mad at everyone
7’s mad at 6, 2 and 4

It was so much easier being kids, getting mad at a sibling, hitting them upside the head then everything would be forgotten about in an hour. My Mom, in that Universal Mom Wisdom, used to say “If you’re Mad, so Sad, you’re just going to have to get Glad again.” Why isn’t it that easy when you’re adults?

And seriously, some of you women might not agree, but men get over things easier than we women do. Men, in my experience, don’t get too involved with petty family in-fighting. Maybe it’s that they’d rather sit on the sofa with a ballgame on the television, stick their hand into their belt and take a nap. Or maybe they don’t have the stamina we women have to hold on to a good, long fight.

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Monday night I’m going to a Christmas Dinner one of the women in my company organizes every year for the women employees. We were liberated about ten years ago and began sending out invitations to the male employees too, but no man has ever joined us. We have fun drinking, eating and playing that obnoxious Steal the Gift game, that Michael Scott in The Office called Yankee Swap. Why do people fight over $5 decorative soap, or a Christmas ornament?

Thursday, December 07, 2006

A Recommendation

I bought Caroline Kennedy’s A Family of Poems: My Favorite Poetry for Children (paintings by Jon J Muth) intending to give it to my youngest sister for Christmas so she could enjoy it with her three children. I loved reading poetry to LP when he was younger. But I’m keeping this book for myself. I’ll buy her a second copy.

At the beginning of each section Caroline writes a snippet about growing up and how important poetry was to her mother. In fact she says that she and her brother were encouraged for every one of her mother and grandparents’ birthdays and holidays, instead of giving a gift-gift they had to copy a poem and illustrate it to present to the person. Her mother would keep all their creations in a family binder. She writes that both she and her brother complained about it, but that she continues the tradition with her own children, and they have continued the tradition of complaining! Haha.

Her brother John’s favorite childhood poem can be found in a section entitled “That’s So Silly.” She said that she always knew he was thinking about her!

Careless Willie
(anonymous)
Willie with a thirst for gore
Nailed his sister to the door
Mother said with humor quaint
“Careful, Willie, don’t scratch the paint!”


My favorite poem Yeat’s Lake Isle of Innisfree is in here, as is Clement Moore’s The Night Before Christmas, also some Robert Frost, Gwendolyn Brooks, ee cummings, Nikki Giovanni, A.A. Milne, Lewis Carroll and Christina Rossetti and others.


Caroline also includes of few of her mother’s poems—which are actually quite good. Muth's paintings are just beautiful. So if you need a gift for a young family (or yourself) I’ll recommend this one.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

A Naguala Welcome

Naggypoo,
Welcome to the State of Emmerica!

In the past, I, too, have had to explain myself to an Indian AOL employee. It sucks. I have only this one blog, but am a contributor to the Communal page (that's not a Mark Foley comment) and to Meme's Dog's Bollock's one.Why don't you sign up for a Blogger blog at www.blogger.com it's an easy process, then email TreeSquish@aol.com and ask her pretty please to put up a link to it on the Community Comments Page which is here: http://abookshelf2.org/blog/. I would enjoy reading your rants on politics, PBS shows, Scientific American magazine, and your George Foreman Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grill Machine exploits. Seriously. You should have been here after the November elections--you could have celebrated with me and the few other Liberals who post here. We had a party!

I'd love to see a PTB blog too, and a Janeh56 blog (I miss hearing about her Jim and the Kisseys.)

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Enough with the bald snatches

I am copying Tree today. She reproduced some oldie posts on her blog, and I looked through my Word files and found the following. It was Halloween in the Shelf--the year I don't know-- (I was Razor in Apple) I had copied this apparently to use in the Gossip Column (don't you all miss the gossip column when it was good?)

Attendance at various times during the evening:
Charonsfairy
MennoniteBadArse
Doch an Dorrach1
Mmmhmmmmm yeah
EN0LAJ0Y
QuintIda
UndeadWreckoning
Atschimolsin
Razor in Apple
SoGhoulToMeecha
MinefieldDancer
JaneH56
Cyn9652
Lyin sack of
Ravinlunertick
WitCHazelle
Zippolighter
IlliterateFacade
Crapheadpuspot
HadaCho
Lax Fan1
ANCNTMARNR
Bronte On Crack
DameRecamier023
Lil drac sambo
Worshipmalyoung
Vanda52
Feralosity
ToohotsAssistant
TOOHOTLPGA
EatAWombat



ToohotsAssistant: I saved a baby sperm whale today...my director was so jealous
Lil drac sambo: if you're ever constipated, try putting on some neil young
TOOHOTLPGA: Not all female golfers are lesbians
QuintIda: (crossing self with elephant garlic)
Razor in Apple: Minefield dancer is Mrs. Paul McCartney.
JaneH56: Miss Trick or Treat is here
MennoniteBadArse: did anyone tell rosary and her left boob to come?
Zippolighter: i am just dressed up as zip
EN0LAJ0Y: Zippo, so creative! Strike a pose!
Crapheadpuspot: he was cajunassflamer last year....who was that girl who picked a big fight with him and everyone that it was vorhees
Lax Fan1: Things are tight. Including Enolas sphincter I guess
UndeadWreckoning: minefield dancer - wasn't that a song by tina turner?
ANCNTMARNR: Undisguised, I know, but Carmilla and Woman in White were both taken :)
HadaCho: Barry Bonds just hit another home run!
Vanda52: stock market is very scary at the moment
Vanda52: worship, i hate holloween, sicko holiday , teach kids to demand goods or else, no wonder there are snipers in the world
ToohotsAssistant: I'm eating buffalo chicken while I wait for the ambulance to come and rush me to the hospital to have my severed finger re-attached



Sunday, December 03, 2006

Bald Snatches and Gwyneth Paltrow

Bert queried “Have you noticed that Britney Spears doesn't appear to be that good a mother?”
I have no doubt that she loves her kids, but she’s a hick. A hick with money and no one to tell her to stfu, and that when you have kids, you have to sacrifice and give up certain things. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of seeing and/or reading about Paris’ bal(le)d snatch, Lindsay’s bal(le)d snatch, and now Britney’s bal(le)d snatch (complete with Caesarian scar). And who said it was okay to shave your pubes? God gave us pubes for a reason, Girls. It’s protection . . . especially if you’re dumb enough not to wear underwear!

And here’s another celebrity thing that gets me. Gwyneth Paltrow is quoted in a Portuguese magazine, and reported in the main stream press, as saying that she’s glad she lives in Britain, and that Americans are dumber than Brits and Brits aren’t crass like us Yankees and that Brits talk about more than jobs and money over dinner. That may be true, but here’s the thing. Ole Gwennie is a child of privilege. She went to all the right schools and probably had nannies and maids and shit growing up, and mingle with the rich and powerful so what “real” Americans has she ever had contact with? Speaking for myself I don’t ever talk about jobs and money at all the smart dinner parties I get invited to.
I don’t care if she and Madonna live in England and have now obtained phoney British accents, but don’t go biting the hand that feeds you. If she thinks Americans are the Great Unwashed, then what’s that make her by accepting all that dirty cash for her second-rate movies that the G.U. went out and saw in theaters?

So, Miss Stank, live in peace with Chris Martin and your Apple and What’s His Name, and your pal Madonna and Stella McCartney and Posh Spice and hopefully you’ll discuss children’s nappies, baby poo, yoga and Pilates classes, world hunger and world politics over High Tea instead of that dirty nasty money you get from the Great Unwashed peasants over on this side of the Pond.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Saturday in the Hinterlands

All of a sudden, it’s winter here! After two days of awful wind and three inches of rain, it turned sunny. The water in my birdbath is frozen solid. I want to find a heater but I want a battered operated heater, if there is such a thing. Several years ago, the last birdbath heater I had was a plug in and my sweet, well-meaning (now deceased) neighbor ran over the cord with her snow blower. Out of the goodness of her heart she was snow-blowing our front walk when it happened, so I couldn’t get mad at her.
Anyway, I want a battered powered heater now.
As soon as the dryer goes off, I’m going shopping. I have a few necessities to get (kitty litter, toilet paper, shampoo) and then I want to just nosy around for awhile.
I’ve been up since 7 this morning and already I’ve had breakfast and coffee, vacuumed, cleaned the litter box, and washed two loads of laundry. Later I need to clean the bathroom—tub, sink and toilet—unless I can command LP to do it. But, to be honest, I’ll be happy to he just tackles that nastyass room of his.

Spidey, are you hung over from your martini binge yesterday?

Respighi (if you see this) have you heard anything good about Peter Falk’s autobiography? I ordered it and it should arrive soon. I’m going to start John Grisham’s The Innocent Man today. I’ve never read John Grisham’s lawyer books, but this one is a real story.


A kitty just pounced on my lap, so I'll sign off now.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Did you notice that Angela had a gnome on her Office desk in last night's episode?
christmas

sentimental sentiments

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Parm frittata

I am definitely not in the so-called Christmas Spirit. I’m beginning to dread this time of year. I don’t even want to put up a Christmas Tree. Bah Humbug. I thought of Lemon Blur aka Conradcanary today because that Overstock.com girl was singing O-O-O The Big Big O, Overstock dot com . . . Conrad loves that dame. That commercial played last year too. What’s the matter? Can’t they spring for a new commercial?
It was just me and BP for dinner tonight, so I made breakfast: Applewood smoked bacon, rye toast, and a chive and Parmesan cheese frittata.

Chive & Parm Frittata

5 or 6 large eggs
3 TB milk
salt
black pepper
pinch red pepper flakes
½ cup freshly grated parmesan cheese
2 TB fresh snipped chives
2 TB minced fresh parsley

Preheat oven to 350.
Beat eggs, add milk and everything else.
In an oven-safe skillet (on the smallish side) on the stovetop, ON LOW, heat a tablespoon of both butter and olive oil. Add egg mixture and cook on low for a few minutes, then transfer the skillet in the oven and cook for an additional 8 to 10 minutes. It will be puffed and golden. Serve with toast and bacon. It’s prettier than plain scrambled eggs!

Monday, November 27, 2006

Commentary on Today's Drug Companies

Ask your doctor if Cymbalta is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Flonase is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Imitrex is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Lamisil is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Nexium is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Prevacid is right for you.
Ask your doctor if OrthoTr-Cyclen is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Lunesta is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Claritin is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Viagra is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Cialis is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Zyrtec is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Celebrex is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Advair is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Botox Cosmetic is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Lipitor is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Pravachol is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Zocor is right for you.
Ask your doctor if Paxil is right for you.
Ask your doctor if NuvoRing is right for you.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

It’s Sunday, back to work tomorrow. Yesterday we went to M-i-l’s for dinner. Assleg Auntie was there with her doggie. She’s got to have another hip surgery in a few weeks so she’s kind of down. BP’s niece was there too. She’s a freshman in a bible college in Nashville, and she’s really enjoying it and seems very adult for being 18.
We stayed for about three hours and then headed home. I read the newspaper, LP went over to Jordan’s, and BP went out to the garage and worked with his new plasma cutter, which apparently doesn’t cut plasma, but steel. Who knew?
I should go out shopping or something today, but I feel like being lazy. I’ve got a few more loads of laundry to do and then . . nada.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Thanksgiving

We had a good time at my sister’s yesterday. After we ate and cleaned up the kitchen some of us went for a walk while the others played poker. The weather was absolutely gorgeous this Thanksgiving.

I got my assed chewed when we came home and it was discovered that I had forgotten our share of the leftover turkey and stuffing. Hey, I remembered the pecan pie and the godawful apple salad crap that one of my younger sister made. There’s always leftover apple salad. Wonder why? So we had to have mac and cheese for dinner that evening. Too bad so sad.

Today, since Tracee didn’t invite me to fart-shop with her, I didn’t go to any of the BIG sales. But at 10 this morning BP made me go to Harbor Freight, Lowe’s and Menard’s with him. Yeah, boy—that’s some good shopping! We also stopped at Circuit City for something in their flyer and surprise, surprise, they were out.

Tomorrow we’re going to my mother-in-law’s for yet another Thanksgiving. I really just want to stay home and do nothing, but I don’t see that happening.
Christmas season isn’t officially here because I haven’t yet heard Christmas music on my favorite radio station. I’ll alert you when that happens.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Kitty in a basket

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I had a red lined basket on a table and the kitty climbed in and snoozed there

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