Goodbye My Pretties!

Tomorrow I am going here:

Pilgrimage

with my mom and one of my sisters. With all the shit happening around here at work, I need a few days to enjoy myself. BP & LP will miss me, but I have typed up a long honey do list for both of them to keep them out of trouble :)

Sing It

Three, six, nine
The goose drank wine
The monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line
The line broke, the monkey got choked
And they all went to heaven in a little row boat
Clap your hands
(pause) (pause) (pause)
Clap your hands


My mother told me if I was goody
That she would buy me a rubber dolly
My auntie told her, I kissed a soldier
Now she won't buy me, a rubber dolly

Three, six, nine The goose drank wine
The monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line
The line broke, the monkey got choked
And they all went to heaven in a little row boat

Clap your hands
(pause) (pause) (pause)
Clap your hands

The Yellow-Lighted Bookshop

I finished The Yellow-Lighted Bookshop by Lewis Buzbee. Tree, you should read this. Respighi, read this. Urban, since you were in the San Francisco area, you should read this. Spidey, read this. All you others who have book-lust should read it.
Buzbee takes us back to his childhood when he discovered “important” books and authors. His first was Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath. He worked as a bookseller, and publisher sales representative for over 30 years. He talks about getting that Scholastic catalog and ordering books in grade school, and the excitement when they arrived and were handed out from the teacher’s desk
Buzbee discusses important booksellers like Sylvia Beach who opened Shakespeare & Co in Paris and how that store became a magnet for authors like Gertrude Stein, Hemingway, and James Joyce, and how she saved her inventory from being destroyed by the Nazis.
Buzbee talks about present day banned books and the Patriot Act which proclaims that booksellers and libraries must give the government access to your personal reading habits without notifying you when they do so. He promotes buying books with cold hard cash so your purchases cannot be traced.
He describes bookstore ambience, the actual process of writing, publishing, marketing, shelving and selling books and why this is important to civilization—all without being stuffy.
At $17, it’s an important and charming book

Happy Mother's Day to Me

To me, being a mother is:

Aggravating

Brave

Coddling

Delightful

Exasperating

Fantastic

Ghoulish

Heavenly/Hellish

Idolizing

Joyous

Klutzy

Lovely

Maniacal

Necessary

Ominous

Purposeful

Question mark

Reaction

Spiritual

Touching

Unknown

Vexing

Weird

X-hilarating

Yearning

Zealous

Say It Isn't So!

I’m a few days behind watching the tv shows I taped.

That said . . . there is absolutely no way that John Lock can be dead! He’s the magic of the island. The island loves him. It cured him. So the bullet that Other Ben shot him with cannot have pierced anything vital and the wound will heal.

Why is the guy who found young runaway Ben the same guy who is with the Others now—and he has not aged day one.

I hate Juliet—I don’t care if she’s a reformed Other or not. Jack, why must you be so stupid.

Dear Lost producers and writers:

1. Stop introducing so many new characters. Who’s this Naomi person anyway? Why do we care about her at all?

2. People you’d better not fuck with and/or kill off (after you did so to Mr. Eco): Sun, Sayid, Desmond, Kate, Jack, Lock, Hurley and the chair who talks to Ben (haha).
(The Lost Credits: “Chair-who-talks-to-Ben played by Laa Z Boyy”)

3. Will Walt and Michael ever come back? Where are Rose and Bernard?

4. People who you can kill off and I’d say Good Riddance: Charlie (I detest that hobbit), Claire, Rosseau, Ben.

Garden/Stuff

I was ordered to update (cough, cough, Respighi cough) so here goes:

1. My spring garden looks good; columbine, iris, chives, and lupines are blooming. My poppies are at the stage I love . . .lots and lots of pre-bloom fuzzy testicle-like orbs.
The three shrub (disease resistant—uh huh) roses finally arrived from Heirloom Roses. Bonica and two Fairys. I’ll plant them when I can.

2. LP’s signed up for driver’s education beginning in June. If you see Kath—tell her to light a candle for me.

3. Things at work: bad and low morale all around.

4. The paintings I’ve done are cool if I do say so myself. I’d post them but my fragile artist's ego couldn’t take the abuse.

Primary

Today is primary day here in Indiana.
Mayor and council people.
We need more women running for office.
I voted.

My Butt Hurts

My butt hurts. No, it’s not from anal sex—do you think you accidentally stumbled upon Traceebrat’s blog??! My butt hurts because I gardened all day yesterday.

I planted my containers with herbs, dwarf cannas, elephant ears, replanted some of the catmint I had dug up earlier, new lavender, and annuals.

Lots and lots of annuals: verbena, Wave petunias, ornamental sweet potato plants, heliotrope, and my new favorite, stock (some people call it gillyflower--although I've also heard dianthus referred to as gillyflower). Buy some stock. It’s got a wonderfully delicious scent that is really noticeable in the evening. Comes in a variety of colors—I bought white, lavender and a pinky mauve.

I dug, watered, fertilized and mulch and that is why my butt and thighs hurt.

Queen at Kentucky Derby

Here's a picture of a smiling Queen Elizabeth taken at yesterday's Kentucky Derby, SPIDEY--for you. Another lovely hat, I must say. Is the Queen the only woman in 2007 who regularly wears hats? I've blogged about this before. I'm old enough to remember when women (my mother) never went to any event--or church--without a chappeau. My mother had lots of hats in hatboxes, now her favorite hat is a baseball cap with "NAVY" and the Navy's insignia on it.

Happy 88th, Pete!

Pete Seeger's 88th birthday was a few days ago. He wrote this song in the late '60s--it was about the Vietnam war and man, oh man, it still rings true today. I love Pete Seeger.

Waist Deep In The Big Muddy
by Pete Seeger 1963, planned for the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour in 1967 but CBS objected to the blacklisted Seeger making obvious references to the"big fool" in the White House, finally sung by Seeger on the Comedy Hour in 1968 as the finale in a medley of anti-war songs

It was back in nineteen forty-two,I was a member of a good platoon.We were on maneuvers in-a Loozianna,One night by the light of the moon.The captain told us to ford a river,That's how it all begun.We were -- knee deep in the Big Muddy,But the big fool said to push on.

The Sergeant said, "Sir, are you sure,This is the best way back to the base?""Sergeant, go on! I forded this river'Bout a mile above this place.It'll be a little soggy but just keep slogging.We'll soon be on dry ground."We were -- waist deep in the Big MuddyAnd the big fool said to push on.

The Sergeant said, "Sir, with all this equipmentNo man will be able to swim.""Sergeant, don't be a Nervous Nellie,"The Captain said to him."All we need is a little determination;Men, follow me, I'll lead on."We were -- neck deep in the Big MuddyAnd the big fool said to push on.

All at once, the moon clouded over,We heard a gurgling cry.A few seconds later, the captain's helmetWas all that floated by.The Sergeant said, "Turn around men!I'm in charge from now on."And we just made it out of the Big MuddyWith the captain dead and gone.

We stripped and dived and found his bodyStuck in the old quicksand.I guess he didn't know that the water was deeperThan the place he'd once before been.Another stream had joined the Big Muddy'Bout a half mile from where we'd gone.We were lucky to escape from the Big MuddyWhen the big fool said to push on.

Well, I'm not going to point any moral;I'll leave that for yourselfMaybe you're still walking, you're still talkingYou'd like to keep your health.But every time I read the papersThat old feeling comes on;We're -- waist deep in the Big MuddyAnd the big fool says to push on.

Waist deep in the Big MuddyAnd the big fool says to push on.Waist deep in the Big MuddyAnd the big fool says to push on.Waist deep! Neck deep! Soon even a Tall man'll be over his head, we'reWaist deep in the Big Muddy!And the big fool says to push on!

Words and music by Pete Seeger (1967)TRO (c) 1967 Melody Trails, Inc. New York, NY

Queen's Hat

I love this woman's hat! I labeled this picture "Queenshat" but it kinda looks like Queen shat.

Sorry, Liz

The Colbert Report

Last night I was watching a repeat of Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report. He was talking about Rep. presidential hopeful and Mormon Mitt Romney. He didn't draw into question his religious beliefs but his choice in reading material.
He showed a clip of Romney being interviewed by some chick on Fox morning news. She asked Romney what his all-time favorite book was. He replied, in all sincerity, "Battlefield Earth by L. Ron Hubbard." OMG, I'll bet his political handlers were just cringing.
Why would any presidential candidate want to be associated with Scientology founder Hubbard?

(sorry, Clanky, this post has an American bent to it.)

Momisms

What's the most "Mom" phrase you use (or have heard from your Mom) on your kids?
You can answer if you are a Dad too.

Recently, I have been saying "you're cutting off your nose to spite your face" a lot.
I've also been known to say, "Be nice to people while they're still here to be nice to," "Don't piss away your education . . . 99% of the kids in the world would love to have what you have."

I think it goes in one ear and out the other.

My Mom used to warn us of crowded places and shoplifters, "They'll knock you in the head for 50 cents!"

Happy May Day

The USSR used to celebrate May Day. I don't know about Russia.

It just got finished hailing here. Pea-sized.

I got six pieces of mail: No bills, two mayoral solicitations, Martha Stewart Omnimedia stockholder report (I owe one share), two credit card offers for Mastercard, one solicitation from Ball State Foundation. Here's a piece of advice: Never, under any circumstances, give to your alma maters's foundation. Make a notation to direct your donation to your favorite academic department, to a scholarship fund, to student activities, anything but an unrestricted account like a Foundation. Foundation money can be used for anything: flowers for some dead person, dinners and alcohol to wine and dine big givers . . . anything. Be specific, people. I give mine to the political science department so they can bring in speakers and do other things to corrupt young minds into my way of thinking.

Friday is my youngest sister's birthday. The check is in the mail.

Saturday is Cinco De Mayo. Can you say "margarita"?

Garden Work/Crappy Movie

It was a beautiful weekend so we worked outside a lot.
BP went to his Mom’s on Saturday and did some work for her and brought back his backhoe bucket so he could “repair” it. He and LP had a heckava time getting it off the trailer. Don’t ask me how he’s repairing it. I somehow think that his lathe will play a part in it.
Yesterday we went to Menard’s with the trailer and bought loads of mulch, landscape fabric, potting soil and bags of river rock.
I Rounded-Up an area, put down landscape fabric and moved the bird bath onto bricks I had “pinwheeled.” (BP advised me to do it this way) then I surrounded the area with the river rock, and man does it look good! Those lucky, lucky birds. Later I saw a blackbird, a robin, and two goldfinches enjoying a dip and drink.
I also ripped up a bunch of ivy (I thought of Urban) and cleaned up the bed in front of the porch. Since Ded hasn’t answered my buddleia bush question, I attempted to dig up the old bush. I trimmed it back almost to the ground and dug and dug and then it was “fuck this noise.” I’ll try later; if I don’t get it all up I’ll just place a few big stones on top of the stump and call it a day.
I ordered three dwarf varieties of buddleia from a website yesterday and I’ll plant those in the clean up bed. I think they’ll do nicely.

Last night after The Amazing Race, BP and I watched Stranger Than Fiction. He had seen it before and he insisted I see it. He loved it; I thought it sucked major ass. You ask how can a movie with Dustin Hoffman, Emma Thompson, Queen Latifah and Will Ferrell suck major ass? Well, it can. The only non-boring part was Maggie Gyllenhall. It had a good premise, but was excuted very poorly. I’d give it a D-.

Pretty Kitty Redux

Thing up in the sky/paint colors

Something’s strange. I go outside to retrieve the morning paper and I see a ball yellow ball in the sky. What is this thing? Our skies have been dark, gloomy and grey for so long, I’m not sure what this yellow thing is, but it sure is pleasant.


I think I’ll make a deal with LP when he wakes up. I’ll happily mow the lawn later if he’ll clean up that disgusting room of his and launder his clothes. He’ll either take the deal or else he’ll have to clean up that disgusting room of his, launder his clothes, and mow the lawn.


I think I’ve told you that I’m trying to decide which colors to paint the living room. Tracee or Schell sure would come in handy around here. I’m stuck on choosing colors. But I’ll tell you, it’s been fun. I’ve discovered that Menard’s has the coolest display ever: Pittsburgh paints and little sample pots I can buy for $2.98 each. I think I’ve brought home seven of those pots so far. I primed an area on the wall and have so many paint swatches up there. Haha. BP just rolls his eyes.

Here’s the progression:
1. I thought three walls would go a deep sand/taupe color and an accent wall wold be spice/curry/pumpkiny

2. Three walls would be a lemony/goldy with the accent wall a teal/baby blueish color.

3. Three walls would be a taupe/corn silk with the accent wall a sagey green color.

It’s amazing to me that there are so many variations of the three primary colors. It boggles the mind.

That’s all for now.

Separated at Birth

Murder defendant Phil Spector and American Idol runner up Clay Aiken

Riots/Garbage

A few days ago there was a riot at a New Castle, Indiana prison. The prisoners who started the riot were transfers from Arizona. I know we get paid for them, but I don’t like the idea of Indiana having to take in prisoners from other States. I don’t want New Jersey’s garbage transported to Indiana, and I don’t want other States’ desperadoes. We have enough garbage and prisoners of our own.
Check into it—I’m sure your State imports problems from other States. Maybe we should just designate one State (maybe Cheney’s Wyoming since he has a boner to exploit Alaska) as the dumping ground—and send it all of the other 49s garbage, rapists, murderers, tax evaders, and people who spoil Harry Potter endings.

Toilet Poll

I'm taking a poll.
When you use a public bathroom, after you do your business, do you pull up and zip pants/jeans and then flush the toilet?
Or do you immediately flush the toilet and then rearrange your clothing?
I do the former and was told that it was 'the wrong way.'