I give this movie a D for dull and disastrous

I wonder how a group of talented actors all make the mistake and end up in a sucky movie. I watched The Family Stone last night and it was bloody awful. I know Sarah Jessica Parker was just coming off of SITC and probably wanted to play a character far removed from fashionista Carrie, but seriously. Her character Meredith was dull, humorless, and worst of all, wore colorless blah gray wool suits.
The story tried to be one of those fish-out-of-water (Meredith) stories. (Everett) Dermot Mulroney brings his girlfriend Meredith home for Christmas to meet his wacky, liberal, close knit family. We know they’re liberal and ‘with it” because one of the sons is deaf, gay and in love with a black man. Another son (Luke Wilson) openly smokes pot in the house with the Dad played by the wonderful Craig T. Nelson. Mom Sybil, played by the illuminous Diane Keaton, is sick with cancer and has only a few months to live but refuses to tell the kids until after Christmas. They all hate Meredith. She wonders why. Duh.

SPOILER ALERT

Everett ends up falling for her sister played by Claire Danes. The audience sees that coming from a mile away—the way Everett’s eyes light up when he sees her getting off the bus.
Luke Wilson's Ben ends up falling for Meredith, who he said “Has a Freak Flag but is not flying it.”

The thing that pissed me off most about this movie is this: Meredith wants to fit in and so makes two giant pans of Strata (an egg casserole thing) for Christmas morning breakfast. After the BIG BLOW UP scene with all the family, she storms off into the kitchen and takes the two pans out of the refrigerator—oh no, not one at a time and places them on the kitchen island counter RIGHT BEHIND HER—she stacks them on top of one another and then Sybil and the Angry Daughter played by Rachel McAdams both go through the kitchen door and plow right into Meredith thereby spilling the Strata all over her and the kitchen floor. Various other family members fall and slide into it INSURING THAT HILARITY ENSUES. It. Does. Not. You just keep wondering “when is this pile of wasted mess over?”

Saving grace: When Sybil defends her gay, deaf son at the dinner table and tells him that he’s “more ‘normal’ than any of the other assholes sitting around this table.” It was a sweet scene.

Diane Keaton. Sarah Jessica Parker. Dermot. Craig T. I suppose I will forgive you.

The Giver

Last week LP read Lois Lowry’s The Giver, loved it, and insisted that I read it. I’m glad I did. It’s labeled a Young Adult book but I think it’s terrific for adults. If you haven’t read it, it’s about a futuristic society which at first glance is wonderful: No pain, no hunger, no rudeness (not the Book Shelf!) no war, etc.
When each child is twelve they go through a ceremony in which the Elders select a life’s work for each of them. Jonas gets selected for the high honor of becoming the Receiver of Memories and begins his studies with the “Giver.”
With each chapter I felt sadder and sadder and weighed down with this Community. Somewhere in the course of their history they chose being safe over other liberties and pleasures in life. DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR in this Dubya-infused life??
Anyway, LP and I both enjoyed it. Give it a try if you see The Giver on a used book shelf.
PS: Not everyone loved it. I was looking at the reviews on B&N and ran across this. I LOL’d:

Mona, I am a book worm!, July 5, 2006,
Horrible book!
I did not like this book at all. It was very boring and heard like a movie. I didn't think it was entertaining and I had to actually make myself finish reading it. That was how boring it was! I do not recomand it!

“Heard like a movie”? hm.

Questions from the Uncool

What exactly are iTunes? Can you use a plain old iPod?
I see more and more tv shows are "available on iTunes" but I have no idea how it works. Is it expensive? And how can a person see details of a television show on such a tiny screen? I think it would cause headaches. Is it expensive?

I'm thanking you.

Betsy

My cousin Betsy died yesterday of ovarian cancer. She was 51 and a great example of someone who followed her “bliss.” She was an actor for 24 years. After getting her Bachelor’s at Indiana University, she went to University of California at San Diego for her Master’s and then settled in Chicago and acted in regional theater for years before moving to Kansas City where she and her husband acted in and directed many productions. She had a twelve year old son named Aidan. I feel for him—losing your mother at such a young age.
As a kid, I always enjoyed visiting Betsy’s family at their Indiana farm. We kids loved to throw out baled hay from the barn loft, and swim in their muddy pond. We all thought that was a hoot.
When she and her older sister were teenagers, they seemed very glamorous to me. Both of them knew from when they were young that they wanted to act. And both did, to relative success I might add. My aunt and uncle were very supportive of all their kids. They were fine examples of parenting.
Both Betsy and her sister Laura made their livings doing what they loved. How many people are lucky enough to say that?
As many cousins do, we kind of lost track of each other and only exchanged yearly Christmas cards and letters. Even so, I’ll miss her. She was a very cool person. Bye Betsy.

Putting your virtual pet on your blog

Helping the less fortunate:

First you have to decide where you want your animal to show up on the blog. Initially I made the mistake of putting the code at the bottom of the template code, so Bob & Bob showed up at the very end of my blog. You had to scroll all the way down and they were hanging at the end. Hanging at the end can be painful. So I decided the best place would be after my blog profile. So here’s what you do:

Go to the Adopt a Virtual Pet Link.
Adopt your pet.
Press finish and it will take you to Step 3 in the process.
Cut and Paste the entire code in the box that’s marked “if you are using MySpace, Friendster or Freewebs”
Now, sign onto Blogger.
Click on your blog and go to Template.
Scroll down about ¾’s of the way past all the gobbledy gook . . .Blogger header, post, comment ,
You should see something like this:

$BlogMemberProfile$

!-- End #profile –

After that line press Enter a few times to create a few blank lines.

Now Paste in the Virtual Pet code that you Cut

Now press Save Template Changes

Now Refresh your blog and then Bingo-Bango, your Pet Appears!

Bob Squared

Like several other Shelfers I have adopted cyber pets. A purple Monkey named Bob and a pink Llama named Bob. The Llama will say hi if you double click on him. Give them both some love!

Oh! Reno 911's season premiere was last night and was splendid: Dangle is auditioning for a Reno remake of West Side Story. Complete with Bob Fosse's "JAZZ HANDS." And Weigel is preggers by a sperm bank donor. Don't know yet who her baby daddy is, but Dangle, Jonesy, Garcia AND Junior all looked as if they'd made deposits at the sperm bank and received the $31, orange juice and a cookie as thanks.

Lazy Sunday

What a lazy Sunday. I slept until 9. Got up and made coffee and watched Samantha Brown on Little Palm Island resort in Florida. I love Samantha Brown. If I wasn't so incredibly sane I'd be her stalker.
Then I cleaned out the cat's litter box, and dusted. As you all probably know by now, I hate dusting. I've instructed all those who live here, including the cat, not to shed or molt or leave their skin particles around so that they'll drift onto the television, coffee table, etc.
I'm thinking of getting one of those ionizers. They're supposed to cut down on dust AND freshen the air. Probably a gimmick though.
I had leftover Special Rice for lunch and a piece of hot pepper cheese. My Diet-that's-not-a-diet is going pretty well. My clothes are loose and I can pull down this pair of jeans I'm wearing without even unzipping and unsnapping them. Only 300 more pounds to go and I'll be rail thin with a huge head like the Hollywood Lollipop Girls Nicole Richie and Mary Kate. Maybe they'll invite me to go clubbing with them!
Anyway, I watched part of Columbo on the Hallmark Channel. I'd seen this episodet fifty million times before (it was the one with Anne Baxter as a movie star who wanted to kill a gossip columnist-writer and ended up killing her assistant instead) so I turned off the TV and went out and moved some plants around. I dunno. They looked pretty sad when I dug them out and replanted them. I watered them in well so maybe they'll make it and maybe they won't. Eh.
Instead of reading my semi-intellectaul Mockingbird book, I took the current National Enquirer out on the porch. Stedman Graham, don't you know, is considered writing a Tell All about his and Oprah's long affair. The gossip is that they are splitsville but Oprah is depositing HUGE amounts of money into his bank account to buy him off and shut him up. One of the Super Secrets that Stedman is set to spill? OPRAH IS A DIVA and expects everyone to AGREE with her or GET OUT! She wants to be waited on hand and foot. You'd never know this if you watch her show
(--0---0---)

What's on the agenda

Friday: I got my teeth cleaned ( a shoutout here to my gummy buddy Schell). They had this new dental assistant, Teresa, who did a nice job, but before we started she proclaimed, "I do things a little differently from the rest of them. No spit bowl. Hardly anyone uses a spit bowl anymore."

We had to go the vaccummed suck-tube route. I hate that thing. I WANT MY SPIT BOWL. It gets more crap out of my mouth. So, Teresa be damned, I used the freaking spit bowl anyway. Well, a combo spit bowl and suck-tube thing. She was very thorough and told me to "turn this way" and "turn that way" while I tried to watch Pink perform on the Today show. Are you a spit bowl person or a suck-tube person?

After the cleaning I went back to work for a few hours before I had to take LP to the orthodontist (sometimes that job just interferes with my life.) They're overly friendly at his ortho's loudly addressing the waiting room every twenty minutes with a cheery "I've just made some fresh coffeee! There's juice and herbal tea if you prefer! Enjoy!"
I forgot to bring my book with, so I read two People magazines (one with newlyweds Nicole and Keith, and one with country stars Tim McGraw and Faith Hill.) So, two People magazines, and two Woman's Day magzines each stating on the cover that you can lose UP TO FOURTEEN POUNDS IN A WEEK!. LP finally emerged before I had to start on the Seventeen magazines.
LP and I had a bigass argument on the way home because he's grounded and insisted that I treat him like an adult and let him go outside for a "few hours" tonight. No. Grounded means grounded and NO. "That's messed up." "I said I was sorry!" "So I just have to hang around the shitty house all damned weekend??!" Sigh. Yes, that's what it means dammit to hell.
Weeded, mowed the lawn last night, and watered my containers.





Saturday: Weatherwise it's going from incredibly wonderful in the past two days to very humid. You know, the kind of weather where you step outside and your skin wants to slide off. I might go and see The Break Up today--depends. I got my B& N order yesterday and I started on Mockingbird last night. It's a biography of Harper Lee and it's good so far.
Spideybunny: I also ordered another Lucy book...this one is by Jess Oppenheimer who was partly responsible for the success of I Love Lucy. I'll let you know how it is.
Also today I get to do laundry. YAY. It seems at times that the washing machine and I are joined at the hip. I need to gas up the car too. (Meme look away now). Are yo uall aware that gas prices leaped yet again? Around here it's 3.06 a gallon. As Bp so elequently puts it, "thieving bastards!" ha.

That's all for now. I'm finishing my coffee before it gets cold.

Caption time!

Enter a caption for this picture. 

Girl Crush

Here's Jorja Fox. She plays Sarah Sidle on CSI. She's 38 today, and has the cutest gap-toothed smile this side of David Letterman

Cunta Kinte

I adore Margaret Cho. I just finished her book I Have Chosen to Stay & Fight. It’s pure liberal bliss. I heartedly recommend it. She gives us her views on gay marriage, Dubya, the Iraq War, Right Wing nutjobs, racists, homophobes and a plethora of other tasty subjects. Here’s her opinion of Ann Coulter. Like Buttah.

“People get so pissed off at Ann Coulter. I hadn’t seen her before, but when her name is mentioned in my circles muthafuckas go off. . . . .I dove into Ann’s writing, which is a cross between bizarre accusations about liberal politicians and psychobabble hyperbolic lies that make no sense. The conservative men love her because she is a loyal slave to the status quo. She is Cunta Kinte.. As well as betraying her gender, as a notoriously antifeminist woman hater, she is also racist, homophobic, without compassion, inhumane, arrogant, dishonest, contradictory, not funny, has an arguing technique that compares closely to ‘I know you are but what am I?’, wears red leather miniskirts and is just plain fucking wrong.”

Skip this if you're bored w/ my garden pictures

Same area--calendula, coneflowers, lilies and upfront you can barely see the shasta daisies I planted a month ago.

Here are more coneflowers, which I love but are very invasive. In front is lavender, and a volunteer sunflower almost ready. 

Here is the Russian sage, along with the coneflowers. 

Monday it was pouring here. You can see the rain in these pictures. I was on the front porch and took some pictures. Late June, early July is a good time for the garden because things are in full bloom. A few days ago my monarda opened up (shut up Bert) It's not the red-red- type, but it's almost fucshia.

the Fourth

Larry David and Ouija Boards

Today is Larry David’s 59 birthday. Happy birthday you enthusiastic bastard! I love you and your hybrid-driving self.

I think it was Urban who asked a few posts ago how LP was doing. He’s doing great thanks. On Wednesday we have a follow up appointment with his surgeon.
He’s also in summer 2 session because he blew off most of his freshman year in high school. He goes from 7 to noon everyday until the end of the month. I told him it’s time to pay the piper.

Yesterday he asked me about Ouija boards and if they predicted the future. He told me his friend David said that according to the Ouija board, he (David) was going to die when he was 48—of a gunshot wound to the head. So, needless to say, we discussed Ouija boards and the whole fortune telling crappola. I told him that basically only Dr. Kevorkian’s patients, and Dead Men Walking know when they’re going to die. I’m glad he asked me about it.

BP's away on business. I left him a voice mail message telling him I wanted sex.

Check this out

I was just reading about blu’s Amsterdam plans and she commented that if she patronized a hash bar there and had a job to go back to, she might be drug tested. I have never had a job where I had to be drug tested, but BP does. It’s all random. Is this standard operating procedure?
In my company they’ve been running background checks on new employees to see if they’ve raped, murdered, robbed, etc anyone. They even run credit checks for godsakes! Thank God I’m kind of grandfathered in. It costs $35 to do these background check and they aren’t even thorough. I think some company somewhere must be making oodles of dough checking up on people. Oh, I think it’s necessary to a degree, but I still think it’s Orwellian.
What about other kinds of checks? Off the top of my head I can think of three employees (not in my department) who drink to excess and come back from every lunch smelling like Sam Adams. Another one has beaten the shit out of his wife. Another one (it’s a big place) has a favorite place he likes to disappear for hours and catch up on his zzzzzz’s. Do people actually go to work to work?

Chelsea Handler

This is Chelsea Handler. She is the most unfunny "Funny person" on television today. Why does this woman have a Comedy Central TV show? She's obnoxious. She's boring. She's not funny.

The Devil Wears Prada

The Good News:

1. Meryl Streep needs to be nominated for her role as Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada. She steals every scene as the Bitch-from-Hell Boss. She speaks softly but would just as soon slit your throat rather than look at you. Exxxxxcellent. I love Meryl.

2. Stanley Tucci. What role hasn’t this guy excelled in? He’s such fun to watch.

3. Emily Blunt. WTF is Emily Blunt? I don’t know, but she was great as Miranda’s put-upon assistant. When she and Anne Hathaway share the scene, you look at her, not the star.

The Bad News:

1. Who cast Anne Hathaway as heroine Andrea Sachs? Do you believe she’s the “ugly duckling”? Do we believe her when Miranda calls her fat and ungainly? Not just no, but hell no. The whole cast was believable but her. It’s not her fault---she just shouldn’t have been cast in the first place.


This movie was both fun and funny but it had a predicable ending. Still, I’d give it an A-