This morning I got up and made coffee. No one else was up yet so I went into the living room and flipped on the television. After surfing and stopping by the Bare Essentuals infomercial, and some exercise infomercial with big-lipped Lisa Rinna, I landed on CSpan 2. They were broadcasting live from the America BookExpo in Washington DC. I could have gone again this year (remember a few years ago, I attended in Chicago where I saw, heard and groped the hand of Bill Clinton when his My Story was due to debut?) Such memories. I should have gone this year. Sigh.
Anyway, today at the Author Breakfast, I heard Amy Sedaris and John Updike. I think I missed Barack Obama. But Sedaris and Updike . . .what a combo, eh? She’s the sister of David Sedaris and hilarious in her own right. Updike, instead of discussing his new book Terrorist, instead chose to talk about books and booksellers. He made me misty-eyed. He talked of a time before the huge superstore bookstores that sell high priced coffee (no offense Respighi). . .of a time of neighborhood bookshops, of college bookstores, of the looks and smells of books, and of booksellers who actual know and read books! CSpan replays everything, so try and catch this sometime.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Are you tired, run-down, listless: For Spidey
Lucy Does a TV Commercial # 31
Original Air Date: May 5, 1952
Unofficial Transcript
Transcript By: Jeffrey Thomason
(START SHOW - LIVING ROOM)
RICKY: Hi honey.
LUCY: Hi.
RICKY: What are you doing?
LUCY: Darning your socks.
RICKY: Well, good for you... I didn’t know you knew how to darn.
LUCY: Oh sure, there’s nothing to it, especially if you have a darning egg. Boy you should’ve seen the hole in this ones, taking me a half hour to sow it up.
RICKY: Hmm!
LUCY: There. Darn it I sowed up the top.
RICKY: (LAUGHS) Oh Lucy, your amazing.
LUCY: Oh well, I’ll just have to rip it out.
RICKY: NO NO! Don’t do that.
LUCY: Why?
RICKY: I can use it as a blackjack.
LUCY: Oh! Give me that now... I gotta fix it.
RICKY: (LAUGHS) Oh dear.
LUCY: Honey, where are you going?
RICKY: I’m going to rehearsal honey.
LUCY: Again! You’ve been to rehearsal everyday for a week.
RICKY: I know but I can’t help it.
LUCY: Wouldn’t it be easier to get good musicians?
RICKY: Please... no discouraging remarks.
LUCY: (LAUGHS)
(PHONE RINGS)
RICKY: I’ll get it, I’ll get it. Hello, oh hello Jerry... well my goodness Jerry there must be millions of girls who want to take this job, oh look Jerry don’t I have enough troubles putting the whole television show together without having to look for a girl to do the commercial. (LUCY OVERHEARS) Uh... um (SPEAKS IN SPANISH)
LUCY: (INTERRUPTS) Never mind, Never mind, I know what your talking about. What about a television show Ricky?
RICKY: Wait a minute, alright Jerry I’ll get the girl to do the commercial. Good bye. (HANGS UP)
LUCY: Well?
RICKY: Well, I’m gonna do a television show that’s all, and you can not be on it.
LUCY: Ah Ricky please. Just let me do the commercial.
RICKY: Nothing doing.
LUCY: Why not?
RICKY: Look honey, this is too big a chance for me, I need someone with a lot of sperience.
LUCY: Well, I’ve had sperience.
RICKY: You’ve never even been on a television show.
LUCY: Well maybe not but I watched them a lot.
RICKY: (CHUCKLES) There is a slight difference.
LUCY: Ah now Ricky
RICKY: I’m sorry honey, I got to go now. I’ll see you later.
LUCY: Ohhhh!
RICKY: ...Ohhhh
(FRED ENTERS)
FRED: Hi Lucy.
LUCY: Hi.
FRED: Need any work done up here? Ethel’s gone to see her mother for a couple of days and I got a lot of time.
LUCY: Ethel’s gone and you want to work?
FRED: Yeah, it seems, loafing isn’t any fun unless she’s nagging at me to get some work done. (LAUGHS)
LUCY: Well, there’s nothing to do up here unless you wanna job knocking some since into Ricky’s head.
FRED: What’s the matter?
LUCY: Well he’s gonna MC a big television show, and they need a girl to do the commercial, now you know how good I am at that.
FRED: Oh sure, I’ve seen you do a 100 television commercials.
LUCY: Well, I would be good if somebody'd ever give me a chance.
FRED: Now why don’t you just relax and forget the whole thing.
LUCY: Gee, if there was only some way Ricky could see me on television.
FRED: Well, now maybe you'd qualify as a lady wrestler.
LUCY: Wait a minute, wait a minute. I've got it. I know what I'm gonna do.
FRED: What?
LUCY: Well listen, when Ricky comes home tonight. I'm not gonna be here, but YOU are.
FRED: Oh I am huh?
LUCY: Yeah and your gonna turn on the television set... and you know who's gonna be on it?
FRED: Well I can only hope its Faye Emerson.
LUCY: No no. Its gonna be me.
FRED: Well how you gonna work that out?
LUCY: Never mind, you just turn on that set and leave the rest to me, ok Buster!
(NEW SCENE – LIVING ROOM)
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Well hello Fred.
FRED: Oh hi Rick.
RICKY: Where’s Lucy?
FRED: I don’t know, I came up to watch your television ours is on the blink.
RICKY: Oh...
FRED: And there’s a wonderful show coming on just about now.
RICKY: At 23 minutes after four?
FRED: Yeah, now set down there. I want you to watch it. You’ll enjoy it.
(LUCY APPEARS IN TV)
LUCY: Call for Philip Morris!
RICKY: Aye aye aye aye aye aye aye.
FRED: Look, look Rick that’s Lucy, she’s on television.
RICKY: Yeah, how bout’ that. I can't, I can't get over how clear the picture is.
FRED: Yeah.
LUCY: Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. (DROPS CIGARETTES OUT OF TV)
RICKY: We’ll whata you know third dimensional television.
FRED: Yeah.
LUCY: Shh, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. Philip Morris America's most enjoyable cigarette presents the Lucy Ricardo Show! Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah!
RICKY: I don’t think this is such a hot show Fred. I think I’ll get another station.
FRED: Oh.
LUCY: As our first offering this evening we... STOP that now go back and sit down.
RICKY: That’s very funny now come on outa there.
LUCY: As our first offerings this evening we present...
RICKY: (KNOCKS ON TV) Lucy I said come on outa there.
LUCY: As our first offering this evening we present that inevitable personality, that talented performer, that versatile entertainer, Lucy Ricardo...
(RICKY PLUGS TV IN)
LUCY: AHH! Ah, ah, ah, ah, Ricky! Ricky what are you trying to do? Are you crazy or something? What are you trying to do barbeque me!
RICKY: I’m sorry
LUCY: Are you really sorry?
RICKY: Of course I’m really (LAUGHS) sorry...
LUCY: Are you truly sorry?
RICKY: Yeahhh...
LUCY: Are you sorry enough to let me do the commercial?
RICKY: No...
LUCY: Ooh, why not?
RICKY: Look honey even if I wanted to give you the job I couldn’t, I already hired another girl.
LUCY: Oooh...
RICKY: Say... what did you do with all the works?
LUCY: I took em’ out.
RICKY: Well, I can see that but where is it?
LUCY: IT?
RICKY: Yeah, the chasse it slides right out.
LUCY: All in one piece?
RICKY: Yeah all in one piece...
LUCY: Eeeeyuaaa (TRADEMARK SOUND)
RICKY: What do you mean Eeeeyuaaa
LUCY: Well...
RICKY: Lucy, what have you done?
(LUCY EXITS)
LUCY: Well I didn’t know it all came out together.
RICKY: Sooo...
(LUCY ENTERS WITH PARTS)
LUCY: Sooo I took it out one piece at a time.
RICKY: Ahh no! ahh no!
(NEW SCENE - BEDROOM)
RICKY: Lucy I got to be at the television rehearsal in half an hour, my breakfast ready?
(SILENCE)
RICKY: Are you still not speaking to me?
(...SILENCE)
RICKY: Look I don’t care if you don’t want to talk to me or not but please get up and fix my breakfast...
(...SILENCE)
RICKY: I need my strength... Lucy are you gonna fix my breakfast or not?... what do you want me to do starve to death?
LUCY: Would you, please?
RICKY: Look I had a perfect right to ball you out. Putting that television set together is gonna cost a fortune, maybe more.
LUCY: I'm glad its broken.
RICKY: Glad?
LUCY: Yes now I won't have to look at your silly Cuban mug on that show tonight.
RICKY: (SPEAKING SPANISH) (DIALS PHONE) Hello, oh Fred? Could you come up for a minute please? Senora Ricardo and I are not speaking to each other, and I'd like you to do me a favor thank you Fred. (HANGS UP)
(LIVING ROOM)
(FRED ENTERS)
FRED: Hi Rick what do you want.
RICKY: Well, listen Fred, I Gotta go to rehearsal right away and um I'm expecting a very important phone call, and Lucy's mad at me. So would you please stay here and give someone a message?
FRED: Sure...
(LUCY’S OVER LISTENING)
RICKY: Well the girl that is gonna do the television commercial is gonna call. Now you tell her to be at Studio Ten Television Center at one o’ clock this after noon.
FRED: Alright.
RICKY: Thanks a lot Fred.
FRED: Your welcome.
(RICKY EXITS)
(LUCY ENTERS YAWNING)
LUCY: Oh hello Fred. What are you doing here?
FRED: Oh hi, Ricky asked me to wait here and take a telephone message. He told me that you two aren’t speaking to each other.
LUCY: (CHUCKLES) Oh well, I’ll take the call Fred its silly to have you wait up here.
FRED: Alright it’s ah from the girl who’s doing the commercial on Ricky’s television show tonight. And he wants her to be sure and get the message. Now you won’t mind this Lucy?
LUCY: Oh no not at all... Television Center, Studio Ten, one o’ clock.
FRED: Yeah... Wait, how did you know that?
LUCY: Oh, well that’s where Ricky does all his television shows.
FRED: Ohh... well I’ll see you later.
LUCY: Ok.
FRED: Bye.
LUCY: Bye.
(FRED EXITS)
(PHONE RINGS)
LUCY: Hello? Oh no Mr. Ricardo isn’t here. Oh yes, yes he wanted me to give you a message. He said to tell you that he’s very sorry but they already hired another girl to do the commercial, and they won't be needing you after all... good bye. (HANGS UP)... diddaly diddaly dee
(NEW SCENE – STUDIO)
DIRECTOR: Ok Joe, I’m ready to rehearse the commercial where’s the girl?
STAGE HAND: She’s studding her script she’ll be right in here.
DIRECTOR: This the new sponsor?
STAGE HAND: Yeah.
DIRECTOR: Stuff any good?
STAGE HAND: Well, it oughta be it’s got everything in it. Meat, vegetables, minerals, vitamins...
DIRECTOR: Wonder where she is...
(PRODUCER WALKS AWAY)
STAGE HAND: Alcohol 23%... ALCOHOL 23%!
(OTHER END OF STAGE)
(LUCY ENTERS)
DIRECTOR: Oh!
LUCY: Oh
DIRECTOR: Are you the young lady that’s gonna do the commercial?
LUCY: Yes sir
DIRECTOR: Well I’m Ross Kellies the Director.
LUCY: Oh, how do you do I’m Lucille uh Mcgillicutty.
DIRECTOR: Ricky sure knows how to pick em’.
LUCY: Ohh! Well thank you.
DIRECTOR: You know your lines yet?
LUCY: Well, I think so.
DIRECTOR: Well lets run though it once.
LUCY: Alright.
DIRECTOR: Now you stand right over here.
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Now lets try it once and remember be bright and vivacious .
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Alright, Maury! Will you stand by with the script please?... alright...
LUCY: (CLEARS THROAT) Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle.
DIRECTOR: Now you pick up the bottle.
LUCY: Oh!
DIRECTOR: A little higher, that’s right.
LUCY: The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle Vitameatavegamin, Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, vegetables, and minerals, yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health! All you do is take a tablespoon full after every meal.
DIRECTOR: Now you take some.
LUCY: Oh... It’s so tasty too! (TAKES SOME, MAKES FACE)... It’s just like candy.
DIRECTOR: No no no no, look you’re supposed to like the stuff. You’ve got to smile, be happy.
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Now try again.
LUCY: Yes sir... its so tasty too! (TAKES SOME, FIGHTS TO SMILE), just like candy.
DIRECTOR: Nope! Once more.
LUCY: Its so tasty too! (TAKES SOME) its just like candy.
DIRECTOR: That’s going to be fine. You, you just go ahead.
LUCY: OK... so why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow that’s vita-meata-vegamin.
DIRECTOR: Ah! That’s fine, fine, now you got the feeling now I'd like you to try it once more this time faster and brighter.
LUCY: Faster and brighter, yes sir.
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Hi Ross.
DIRECTOR: Oh hello Ricky.
RICKY: Hi Lucy, I want to see about that number...
LUCY: Hi...
RICKY: And what may I ask are you doing here?
DIRECTOR: Well, she’s gonna do the commercial.
RICKY: She’s gonna do the commercial?
DIRECTOR: Yeah!
RICKY: What did you do to the girl that was supposed to be here?... now Lucy I told you you couldn’t do the commercial... now what’s the big idea, Lucy what have you got to say for yourself?
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, list...
RICKY: Never mind, never mind, never mind, never mind that... now come on your going home.
DIRECTOR: Now wait a minute Ricky it’s too late to get anybody else, besides she’s pretty good.
RICKY: Oh sure, sure...
DIRECTOR: No I mean it, listen to her. You go ahead Ms. Mcgillicutty.
RICKY: Yeah go ahead Ms. Mcgillicutty.
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin, yes Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, vegetables, and minerals yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health. All you do is take a big tablespoon full after every meal (TAKES SOME) it’s so tasty too! Taste just like candy, so why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow that’s vita-meata-vegamin.
DIRECTOR: See what I mean.
RICKY: Alright you can do it tonight but only because we're in a spot and it’s late, understand?
LUCY: Yes sir... (HICCUPS) oh... pardon me.
RICKY: You better be good too.
LUCY: I will.
RICKY: I’ll go see abut that number Ross.
DIRECTOR: Ok.
(RICKY EXITS)
DIRECTOR: Now I’d like to do it once more this time from its so tasty too
LUCY: Its so tasty too.
DIRECTOR: That’s right.
LUCY: Yes sir... its so task too! (TAKES SOME) ...just like candy... you know this stuff tastes pretty good once you get used to it.
DIRECTOR: Yes I know, now would you go ahead, please its so tasty too
LUCY: Oh... It’s so tasty too (TAKES SOME)... so... so uh, I don’t know where to start unless I begin at the beginning.
DIRECTOR: Alright, start at the beginning.
LUCY: Oh, thank you... Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this bittle lottle... uh little bottle, uh Vitameatavegamin... Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins meat vegetables and minerals, uh yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health. All you have to do is take a big tablespoon full after every meal (TAKES SOME) it’s so tasty too! Tastes like candy HONEST! (LAUGHS). So why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of mitameatamigamin... remember that name mitavatameatimac.
DIRECTOR: Ms. Mcgillicutty?
LUCY: Hm?
DIRECTOR: Are you feeling alright?
LUCY: Oh I feel fine but its awful hot in here, must be the lights.
(STAGE HAND ENTERS)
STAGE HAND: Hey Ross.
DIRECTOR: Yeah.
STAGE HAND: The audio man wants to get a level on her voice.
DIRECTOR: Oh... Ms. Mcgillicutty...
LUCY: Huh?
DIRECTOR: Would you mind doing it just once more please?
LUCY: Oh no sir it would be perfectly alright.
DIRECTOR: Thank you, ok in the control room! Now we're going to time it this time, ready?... GO!
(...SILENCE)
LUCY: You know you’re awfully nice.
DIRECTOR: Thank you, would you go ahead please?
LUCY: ...Well, I’m your vitavitevegivac girl, are you tired run-down listless? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular... well are you?... the answer to all your problems is in this little ol’ bottle. Vitameatavegamin, (LOOKS AT BOTTLE)... that’s it. Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, megitables, and vinerals... hmm (HICCUP). So why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of uh vita.. vetee... vee ...meany-miny-momy. I tell you what you have to do. You have to take a whole tablespoon full after every meal......(DRINKS OUT OF BOTTLE). Its so tasty too! It’s just like candy so everybody get a bottle of... this stuff.
DIRECTOR: Ms. Mcgillicutty?
LUCY: Hm?
DIRECTOR: Are you alright?
LUCY: Oh I feel fine but you know it’s HOT in here!
DIRECTOR: Well do you think you’ll be able to go on with the show?...(SILENCE)... well do you?
LUCY: What?
DIRECTOR: Joe? I think you'd better take a little rest until show time
LUCY: Yeah boy it sure is hot in here.
DIRECTOR: Joe would you take Ms. Mcgillicutty to one of the dressing rooms and let her rest until show time?
STAGE HAND: Well sure, come on Ms. Mcgillicutty.
LUCY: Joe is it hot in here to you... pardon me, (TURNS TOWARDS DIRECTOR) thank you you’re very nice you’ve been a perfect gentleman. Come on Joe.
(LUCY AND STAGE HAND EXIT)
(NEW SCENE)
STAGE HAND: Hey Ross?
DIRECTOR: Yeah.
STAGE HAND: Where’s that girl that's supposed to do the commercial? I can’t find her.
DIRECTOR: She’s taking a nap in one of the dressing rooms.
STAGE HAND: No she’s not I looked in the dressing rooms.
DIRECTOR: Well, find her and get Ricky out here we're on the air in 15 seconds.
STAGE HAND: Ok! Stand by everybody 15 seconds. Hey Ricky your on, Ricky?
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, alright, alright.
DIRECTOR: A little further back Ricky.
RICKY: further back, alright.
DIRECTOR: Little more... That’s it... stand by everybody.
RICKY: Good evening ladies and gentleman and welcome to your Saturday night variety. My name is Ricky Ricardo I’m your host for this evening. We have some wonderful acts and I think we're all gonna have alota fun. So if we may we like to start things off with a little music. Mr. Hatch if you please.
(RICKY SINGS IN SPANISH)
(LUCY ENTERS, NOTICES RICKY AND GOES TO HIM)
LUCY: Hi Fred, hi Ethel, hi, hi, hello.
(LUCY TRIES SINGING WITH RICKY)
RICKY: (LAUGHS COVERING EMBARRASSMENT) Very nice, very funny... (LAUGHS)
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your vitavetavigivac girl...
(RICKY PICKS UP LUCY AND CARIES HER OFF STAGE)
LUCY: ...Are you tired run-down listless? Do you poop-out at part...
(END SHOW)
Original Air Date: May 5, 1952
Unofficial Transcript
Transcript By: Jeffrey Thomason
(START SHOW - LIVING ROOM)
RICKY: Hi honey.
LUCY: Hi.
RICKY: What are you doing?
LUCY: Darning your socks.
RICKY: Well, good for you... I didn’t know you knew how to darn.
LUCY: Oh sure, there’s nothing to it, especially if you have a darning egg. Boy you should’ve seen the hole in this ones, taking me a half hour to sow it up.
RICKY: Hmm!
LUCY: There. Darn it I sowed up the top.
RICKY: (LAUGHS) Oh Lucy, your amazing.
LUCY: Oh well, I’ll just have to rip it out.
RICKY: NO NO! Don’t do that.
LUCY: Why?
RICKY: I can use it as a blackjack.
LUCY: Oh! Give me that now... I gotta fix it.
RICKY: (LAUGHS) Oh dear.
LUCY: Honey, where are you going?
RICKY: I’m going to rehearsal honey.
LUCY: Again! You’ve been to rehearsal everyday for a week.
RICKY: I know but I can’t help it.
LUCY: Wouldn’t it be easier to get good musicians?
RICKY: Please... no discouraging remarks.
LUCY: (LAUGHS)
(PHONE RINGS)
RICKY: I’ll get it, I’ll get it. Hello, oh hello Jerry... well my goodness Jerry there must be millions of girls who want to take this job, oh look Jerry don’t I have enough troubles putting the whole television show together without having to look for a girl to do the commercial. (LUCY OVERHEARS) Uh... um (SPEAKS IN SPANISH)
LUCY: (INTERRUPTS) Never mind, Never mind, I know what your talking about. What about a television show Ricky?
RICKY: Wait a minute, alright Jerry I’ll get the girl to do the commercial. Good bye. (HANGS UP)
LUCY: Well?
RICKY: Well, I’m gonna do a television show that’s all, and you can not be on it.
LUCY: Ah Ricky please. Just let me do the commercial.
RICKY: Nothing doing.
LUCY: Why not?
RICKY: Look honey, this is too big a chance for me, I need someone with a lot of sperience.
LUCY: Well, I’ve had sperience.
RICKY: You’ve never even been on a television show.
LUCY: Well maybe not but I watched them a lot.
RICKY: (CHUCKLES) There is a slight difference.
LUCY: Ah now Ricky
RICKY: I’m sorry honey, I got to go now. I’ll see you later.
LUCY: Ohhhh!
RICKY: ...Ohhhh
(FRED ENTERS)
FRED: Hi Lucy.
LUCY: Hi.
FRED: Need any work done up here? Ethel’s gone to see her mother for a couple of days and I got a lot of time.
LUCY: Ethel’s gone and you want to work?
FRED: Yeah, it seems, loafing isn’t any fun unless she’s nagging at me to get some work done. (LAUGHS)
LUCY: Well, there’s nothing to do up here unless you wanna job knocking some since into Ricky’s head.
FRED: What’s the matter?
LUCY: Well he’s gonna MC a big television show, and they need a girl to do the commercial, now you know how good I am at that.
FRED: Oh sure, I’ve seen you do a 100 television commercials.
LUCY: Well, I would be good if somebody'd ever give me a chance.
FRED: Now why don’t you just relax and forget the whole thing.
LUCY: Gee, if there was only some way Ricky could see me on television.
FRED: Well, now maybe you'd qualify as a lady wrestler.
LUCY: Wait a minute, wait a minute. I've got it. I know what I'm gonna do.
FRED: What?
LUCY: Well listen, when Ricky comes home tonight. I'm not gonna be here, but YOU are.
FRED: Oh I am huh?
LUCY: Yeah and your gonna turn on the television set... and you know who's gonna be on it?
FRED: Well I can only hope its Faye Emerson.
LUCY: No no. Its gonna be me.
FRED: Well how you gonna work that out?
LUCY: Never mind, you just turn on that set and leave the rest to me, ok Buster!
(NEW SCENE – LIVING ROOM)
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Well hello Fred.
FRED: Oh hi Rick.
RICKY: Where’s Lucy?
FRED: I don’t know, I came up to watch your television ours is on the blink.
RICKY: Oh...
FRED: And there’s a wonderful show coming on just about now.
RICKY: At 23 minutes after four?
FRED: Yeah, now set down there. I want you to watch it. You’ll enjoy it.
(LUCY APPEARS IN TV)
LUCY: Call for Philip Morris!
RICKY: Aye aye aye aye aye aye aye.
FRED: Look, look Rick that’s Lucy, she’s on television.
RICKY: Yeah, how bout’ that. I can't, I can't get over how clear the picture is.
FRED: Yeah.
LUCY: Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. (DROPS CIGARETTES OUT OF TV)
RICKY: We’ll whata you know third dimensional television.
FRED: Yeah.
LUCY: Shh, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. Philip Morris America's most enjoyable cigarette presents the Lucy Ricardo Show! Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah!
RICKY: I don’t think this is such a hot show Fred. I think I’ll get another station.
FRED: Oh.
LUCY: As our first offering this evening we... STOP that now go back and sit down.
RICKY: That’s very funny now come on outa there.
LUCY: As our first offerings this evening we present...
RICKY: (KNOCKS ON TV) Lucy I said come on outa there.
LUCY: As our first offering this evening we present that inevitable personality, that talented performer, that versatile entertainer, Lucy Ricardo...
(RICKY PLUGS TV IN)
LUCY: AHH! Ah, ah, ah, ah, Ricky! Ricky what are you trying to do? Are you crazy or something? What are you trying to do barbeque me!
RICKY: I’m sorry
LUCY: Are you really sorry?
RICKY: Of course I’m really (LAUGHS) sorry...
LUCY: Are you truly sorry?
RICKY: Yeahhh...
LUCY: Are you sorry enough to let me do the commercial?
RICKY: No...
LUCY: Ooh, why not?
RICKY: Look honey even if I wanted to give you the job I couldn’t, I already hired another girl.
LUCY: Oooh...
RICKY: Say... what did you do with all the works?
LUCY: I took em’ out.
RICKY: Well, I can see that but where is it?
LUCY: IT?
RICKY: Yeah, the chasse it slides right out.
LUCY: All in one piece?
RICKY: Yeah all in one piece...
LUCY: Eeeeyuaaa (TRADEMARK SOUND)
RICKY: What do you mean Eeeeyuaaa
LUCY: Well...
RICKY: Lucy, what have you done?
(LUCY EXITS)
LUCY: Well I didn’t know it all came out together.
RICKY: Sooo...
(LUCY ENTERS WITH PARTS)
LUCY: Sooo I took it out one piece at a time.
RICKY: Ahh no! ahh no!
(NEW SCENE - BEDROOM)
RICKY: Lucy I got to be at the television rehearsal in half an hour, my breakfast ready?
(SILENCE)
RICKY: Are you still not speaking to me?
(...SILENCE)
RICKY: Look I don’t care if you don’t want to talk to me or not but please get up and fix my breakfast...
(...SILENCE)
RICKY: I need my strength... Lucy are you gonna fix my breakfast or not?... what do you want me to do starve to death?
LUCY: Would you, please?
RICKY: Look I had a perfect right to ball you out. Putting that television set together is gonna cost a fortune, maybe more.
LUCY: I'm glad its broken.
RICKY: Glad?
LUCY: Yes now I won't have to look at your silly Cuban mug on that show tonight.
RICKY: (SPEAKING SPANISH) (DIALS PHONE) Hello, oh Fred? Could you come up for a minute please? Senora Ricardo and I are not speaking to each other, and I'd like you to do me a favor thank you Fred. (HANGS UP)
(LIVING ROOM)
(FRED ENTERS)
FRED: Hi Rick what do you want.
RICKY: Well, listen Fred, I Gotta go to rehearsal right away and um I'm expecting a very important phone call, and Lucy's mad at me. So would you please stay here and give someone a message?
FRED: Sure...
(LUCY’S OVER LISTENING)
RICKY: Well the girl that is gonna do the television commercial is gonna call. Now you tell her to be at Studio Ten Television Center at one o’ clock this after noon.
FRED: Alright.
RICKY: Thanks a lot Fred.
FRED: Your welcome.
(RICKY EXITS)
(LUCY ENTERS YAWNING)
LUCY: Oh hello Fred. What are you doing here?
FRED: Oh hi, Ricky asked me to wait here and take a telephone message. He told me that you two aren’t speaking to each other.
LUCY: (CHUCKLES) Oh well, I’ll take the call Fred its silly to have you wait up here.
FRED: Alright it’s ah from the girl who’s doing the commercial on Ricky’s television show tonight. And he wants her to be sure and get the message. Now you won’t mind this Lucy?
LUCY: Oh no not at all... Television Center, Studio Ten, one o’ clock.
FRED: Yeah... Wait, how did you know that?
LUCY: Oh, well that’s where Ricky does all his television shows.
FRED: Ohh... well I’ll see you later.
LUCY: Ok.
FRED: Bye.
LUCY: Bye.
(FRED EXITS)
(PHONE RINGS)
LUCY: Hello? Oh no Mr. Ricardo isn’t here. Oh yes, yes he wanted me to give you a message. He said to tell you that he’s very sorry but they already hired another girl to do the commercial, and they won't be needing you after all... good bye. (HANGS UP)... diddaly diddaly dee
(NEW SCENE – STUDIO)
DIRECTOR: Ok Joe, I’m ready to rehearse the commercial where’s the girl?
STAGE HAND: She’s studding her script she’ll be right in here.
DIRECTOR: This the new sponsor?
STAGE HAND: Yeah.
DIRECTOR: Stuff any good?
STAGE HAND: Well, it oughta be it’s got everything in it. Meat, vegetables, minerals, vitamins...
DIRECTOR: Wonder where she is...
(PRODUCER WALKS AWAY)
STAGE HAND: Alcohol 23%... ALCOHOL 23%!
(OTHER END OF STAGE)
(LUCY ENTERS)
DIRECTOR: Oh!
LUCY: Oh
DIRECTOR: Are you the young lady that’s gonna do the commercial?
LUCY: Yes sir
DIRECTOR: Well I’m Ross Kellies the Director.
LUCY: Oh, how do you do I’m Lucille uh Mcgillicutty.
DIRECTOR: Ricky sure knows how to pick em’.
LUCY: Ohh! Well thank you.
DIRECTOR: You know your lines yet?
LUCY: Well, I think so.
DIRECTOR: Well lets run though it once.
LUCY: Alright.
DIRECTOR: Now you stand right over here.
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Now lets try it once and remember be bright and vivacious .
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Alright, Maury! Will you stand by with the script please?... alright...
LUCY: (CLEARS THROAT) Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle.
DIRECTOR: Now you pick up the bottle.
LUCY: Oh!
DIRECTOR: A little higher, that’s right.
LUCY: The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle Vitameatavegamin, Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, vegetables, and minerals, yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health! All you do is take a tablespoon full after every meal.
DIRECTOR: Now you take some.
LUCY: Oh... It’s so tasty too! (TAKES SOME, MAKES FACE)... It’s just like candy.
DIRECTOR: No no no no, look you’re supposed to like the stuff. You’ve got to smile, be happy.
LUCY: Yes sir.
DIRECTOR: Now try again.
LUCY: Yes sir... its so tasty too! (TAKES SOME, FIGHTS TO SMILE), just like candy.
DIRECTOR: Nope! Once more.
LUCY: Its so tasty too! (TAKES SOME) its just like candy.
DIRECTOR: That’s going to be fine. You, you just go ahead.
LUCY: OK... so why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow that’s vita-meata-vegamin.
DIRECTOR: Ah! That’s fine, fine, now you got the feeling now I'd like you to try it once more this time faster and brighter.
LUCY: Faster and brighter, yes sir.
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Hi Ross.
DIRECTOR: Oh hello Ricky.
RICKY: Hi Lucy, I want to see about that number...
LUCY: Hi...
RICKY: And what may I ask are you doing here?
DIRECTOR: Well, she’s gonna do the commercial.
RICKY: She’s gonna do the commercial?
DIRECTOR: Yeah!
RICKY: What did you do to the girl that was supposed to be here?... now Lucy I told you you couldn’t do the commercial... now what’s the big idea, Lucy what have you got to say for yourself?
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, list...
RICKY: Never mind, never mind, never mind, never mind that... now come on your going home.
DIRECTOR: Now wait a minute Ricky it’s too late to get anybody else, besides she’s pretty good.
RICKY: Oh sure, sure...
DIRECTOR: No I mean it, listen to her. You go ahead Ms. Mcgillicutty.
RICKY: Yeah go ahead Ms. Mcgillicutty.
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this little bottle. Vitameatavegamin, yes Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, vegetables, and minerals yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health. All you do is take a big tablespoon full after every meal (TAKES SOME) it’s so tasty too! Taste just like candy, so why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of Vitameatavegamin tomorrow that’s vita-meata-vegamin.
DIRECTOR: See what I mean.
RICKY: Alright you can do it tonight but only because we're in a spot and it’s late, understand?
LUCY: Yes sir... (HICCUPS) oh... pardon me.
RICKY: You better be good too.
LUCY: I will.
RICKY: I’ll go see abut that number Ross.
DIRECTOR: Ok.
(RICKY EXITS)
DIRECTOR: Now I’d like to do it once more this time from its so tasty too
LUCY: Its so tasty too.
DIRECTOR: That’s right.
LUCY: Yes sir... its so task too! (TAKES SOME) ...just like candy... you know this stuff tastes pretty good once you get used to it.
DIRECTOR: Yes I know, now would you go ahead, please its so tasty too
LUCY: Oh... It’s so tasty too (TAKES SOME)... so... so uh, I don’t know where to start unless I begin at the beginning.
DIRECTOR: Alright, start at the beginning.
LUCY: Oh, thank you... Hello friends I’m your Vitameatavegamin girl, are you tired, run-down, listless. Do you poop-out at parties? Are you unpopular? The answer to all your problems is in this bittle lottle... uh little bottle, uh Vitameatavegamin... Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins meat vegetables and minerals, uh yes with Vitameatavegamin you can spoon your way to health. All you have to do is take a big tablespoon full after every meal (TAKES SOME) it’s so tasty too! Tastes like candy HONEST! (LAUGHS). So why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of mitameatamigamin... remember that name mitavatameatimac.
DIRECTOR: Ms. Mcgillicutty?
LUCY: Hm?
DIRECTOR: Are you feeling alright?
LUCY: Oh I feel fine but its awful hot in here, must be the lights.
(STAGE HAND ENTERS)
STAGE HAND: Hey Ross.
DIRECTOR: Yeah.
STAGE HAND: The audio man wants to get a level on her voice.
DIRECTOR: Oh... Ms. Mcgillicutty...
LUCY: Huh?
DIRECTOR: Would you mind doing it just once more please?
LUCY: Oh no sir it would be perfectly alright.
DIRECTOR: Thank you, ok in the control room! Now we're going to time it this time, ready?... GO!
(...SILENCE)
LUCY: You know you’re awfully nice.
DIRECTOR: Thank you, would you go ahead please?
LUCY: ...Well, I’m your vitavitevegivac girl, are you tired run-down listless? Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular... well are you?... the answer to all your problems is in this little ol’ bottle. Vitameatavegamin, (LOOKS AT BOTTLE)... that’s it. Vitameatavegamin contains vitamins, meat, megitables, and vinerals... hmm (HICCUP). So why don’t you join the thousands of happy peppy people and get a great big bottle of uh vita.. vetee... vee ...meany-miny-momy. I tell you what you have to do. You have to take a whole tablespoon full after every meal......(DRINKS OUT OF BOTTLE). Its so tasty too! It’s just like candy so everybody get a bottle of... this stuff.
DIRECTOR: Ms. Mcgillicutty?
LUCY: Hm?
DIRECTOR: Are you alright?
LUCY: Oh I feel fine but you know it’s HOT in here!
DIRECTOR: Well do you think you’ll be able to go on with the show?...(SILENCE)... well do you?
LUCY: What?
DIRECTOR: Joe? I think you'd better take a little rest until show time
LUCY: Yeah boy it sure is hot in here.
DIRECTOR: Joe would you take Ms. Mcgillicutty to one of the dressing rooms and let her rest until show time?
STAGE HAND: Well sure, come on Ms. Mcgillicutty.
LUCY: Joe is it hot in here to you... pardon me, (TURNS TOWARDS DIRECTOR) thank you you’re very nice you’ve been a perfect gentleman. Come on Joe.
(LUCY AND STAGE HAND EXIT)
(NEW SCENE)
STAGE HAND: Hey Ross?
DIRECTOR: Yeah.
STAGE HAND: Where’s that girl that's supposed to do the commercial? I can’t find her.
DIRECTOR: She’s taking a nap in one of the dressing rooms.
STAGE HAND: No she’s not I looked in the dressing rooms.
DIRECTOR: Well, find her and get Ricky out here we're on the air in 15 seconds.
STAGE HAND: Ok! Stand by everybody 15 seconds. Hey Ricky your on, Ricky?
(RICKY ENTERS)
RICKY: Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, alright, alright.
DIRECTOR: A little further back Ricky.
RICKY: further back, alright.
DIRECTOR: Little more... That’s it... stand by everybody.
RICKY: Good evening ladies and gentleman and welcome to your Saturday night variety. My name is Ricky Ricardo I’m your host for this evening. We have some wonderful acts and I think we're all gonna have alota fun. So if we may we like to start things off with a little music. Mr. Hatch if you please.
(RICKY SINGS IN SPANISH)
(LUCY ENTERS, NOTICES RICKY AND GOES TO HIM)
LUCY: Hi Fred, hi Ethel, hi, hi, hello.
(LUCY TRIES SINGING WITH RICKY)
RICKY: (LAUGHS COVERING EMBARRASSMENT) Very nice, very funny... (LAUGHS)
LUCY: Hello friends I’m your vitavetavigivac girl...
(RICKY PICKS UP LUCY AND CARIES HER OFF STAGE)
LUCY: ...Are you tired run-down listless? Do you poop-out at part...
(END SHOW)
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
To be continued . . .
I have a 3 day business meeting in a few weeks, two big projects to get done, I have to work on goosing BP to replace the guttering, and LP's surgery at the end of the month, so my blog is now on hiatus until next month. Enjoy May.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Bushism from Calendar
"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein." --Dubya, Washington, DC; May 25, 2004
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Pictures Aplenty
Here are some pictures I took yesterday. That's my first iris in bloom. The wizard and colored rocks sitting in a dish atop the wooden crates thing is on my porch for awhile.
Then there's the copper fountain beside statue of Saint Francis. In front of the fountain is a container planted with strawberries.
That's a picture of a bleeding heart. It's the first year it's really looked pretty. I'm surprised that it lived--Last fall I Rounded-Up the bed it was in, but since they die back and disappear after they bloom, maybe that's why it was saved.
That's one of the barrels I told you about. This one is planted with herbs: Rosemary, two kinds of parsley, thyme, peppermint and basil.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Haircut/Customs
I got a cute springy haircut from my favorite haircutter, Kasey. She’s in her early twenties, bubbly, cute, optimistic and talented, but what the hell, I still like her! I feel good every time I leave her place. That’s the mark of a good hair stylist.
I also finished a travel book I bought the other day: Behave Yourself! The Essential Guide to International Etiquette by Michael Powell. It’s a small tome arranged by countries. The Dos and Don’ts of each culture: Meeting and Greeting, Conversation, Dress, Eating and drinking etiquette. People in some cultures don’t like to do a lot of smiling (I know it’s hard to believe.) Maybe they’re like The Office’s Dwight, who proclaims that he never smiles unless forced to. A toothy smile is what submissive primates show. Standing with your hands in your pockets is a no-no in some countries, as is showing flashy jewelry.
Anyway, if I ever travel to Pakistan I’ll know not to ever accept anything anyone offers me, unless they make repeated offers. They think it’s polite to offer to give you anything that you comment on (“Oh, what a lovely scarf.”) It saves face. They’re poor, so don’t take them up on the offer. Also, lone female travelers are frowned upon and will be shunned. Ask a Pakistani about his “family and children” but NEVER about his wife.
Don’t insult a Norwegian by lumping him in with Swedes and Danes. They have their own culture. Would you like being mistaken for a Canadian?
According to this book, most people in the world dress better than jean-clad Americans. Doesn’t mean they have more money, they’re just more conscious about their appearance in public.
Chileans, Russians, Poles have very little “personal space.” They’ll stand very close to you. (Seinfeld’s “Close talker”?) Don’t back up. They’ll be offended and just move closer to you anyway.
Maybe Americans who travel abroad should research local customs. Maybe it will cut down on the stereotypical Ugly American.
I also finished a travel book I bought the other day: Behave Yourself! The Essential Guide to International Etiquette by Michael Powell. It’s a small tome arranged by countries. The Dos and Don’ts of each culture: Meeting and Greeting, Conversation, Dress, Eating and drinking etiquette. People in some cultures don’t like to do a lot of smiling (I know it’s hard to believe.) Maybe they’re like The Office’s Dwight, who proclaims that he never smiles unless forced to. A toothy smile is what submissive primates show. Standing with your hands in your pockets is a no-no in some countries, as is showing flashy jewelry.
Anyway, if I ever travel to Pakistan I’ll know not to ever accept anything anyone offers me, unless they make repeated offers. They think it’s polite to offer to give you anything that you comment on (“Oh, what a lovely scarf.”) It saves face. They’re poor, so don’t take them up on the offer. Also, lone female travelers are frowned upon and will be shunned. Ask a Pakistani about his “family and children” but NEVER about his wife.
Don’t insult a Norwegian by lumping him in with Swedes and Danes. They have their own culture. Would you like being mistaken for a Canadian?
According to this book, most people in the world dress better than jean-clad Americans. Doesn’t mean they have more money, they’re just more conscious about their appearance in public.
Chileans, Russians, Poles have very little “personal space.” They’ll stand very close to you. (Seinfeld’s “Close talker”?) Don’t back up. They’ll be offended and just move closer to you anyway.
Maybe Americans who travel abroad should research local customs. Maybe it will cut down on the stereotypical Ugly American.
Creed
One of my new favorite The Office characters is the old man Creed. Last night’s episode was about complaints to HR. The young temp Ryan had complained that Creed always had an “Old Man smell.” Creed smiled and said, “I know what he means. He opened his desk drawer to show a layer of sprouted mung beans on paper towels. “I sprout mung beans in my desk,” and as he popped some in his mouth he deadpans, “they smell like death.” Hahahaha. I laughed out loud. This was a good episode—I laughed out loud three times. I very seldom do that while watching TV.
I tried to Google a picture of the guy who plays Creed (I think his name actually is Creed) but no luck. He was in a background shot of one the of photos on the sitcom's website but it wasn't a good one.
I tried to Google a picture of the guy who plays Creed (I think his name actually is Creed) but no luck. He was in a background shot of one the of photos on the sitcom's website but it wasn't a good one.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
email hoaxes
I received a forwarded email today telling me of the dangers of flashing headlights at a car driving without lights on. Supposedly this is a gang initiation and the occupants of the car will follow you and KILL YOU DEAD! Adios! Bye-bye.
I sent this person the www.snopes.com website with the information that this email has been around for over ten years and it is false.
What's worse, the guy who sent me the email is a police officer and it was sent to him by his captain. Sigh.
I sent this person the www.snopes.com website with the information that this email has been around for over ten years and it is false.
What's worse, the guy who sent me the email is a police officer and it was sent to him by his captain. Sigh.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
I voted today.
Indiana holds its primary elections on the first Tuesday in May. Today. So I went to vote. A bunch of school board people, and other assorted local politicians. People can’t solicit 50 yards from the polls so they stand in a line in the parking lot. This one pushy broard asks me, “Did you come here to vote?” I gave her a “why else would I be here at 6:15 am?” look. She then shoves her election brochure into my hand and pipes up with a “VOTE FOR ME!!!” Not an “I’d appreciate your vote,” or “Please vote for me.” So I looked at the name under her picture on the brochure, went into the polling place and voted against her.
Did anyone in the history of mankind walk up to a polling place and just by being told to vote for Candidate A as opposed to Candidate B, slap themselves in the forehead and say, “Wow! I guess I’ll vote for YOU!”?
My point: 100% of the people (Internet statistic) who haul their asses out of bed to vote in a PRIMARY of all things are pretty much set as to who(m) they’re voting for.
Did anyone in the history of mankind walk up to a polling place and just by being told to vote for Candidate A as opposed to Candidate B, slap themselves in the forehead and say, “Wow! I guess I’ll vote for YOU!”?
My point: 100% of the people (Internet statistic) who haul their asses out of bed to vote in a PRIMARY of all things are pretty much set as to who(m) they’re voting for.
For Urban
Hands sounds like BP. He thinks all flowers should smell nice.
Check around the nursery, but also check out what your neighbors plant.
My Favorite Smell-gooders:
Lavender
Dianthus (pinks)
Nicociana (Flowering tobacco)
Heliotrope (smells like vanilla)
Lillies
Roses
Herbs
Allyssum
Spring bulbs:
hyacinths
Daffodils
Tulips
Lilac bushes
Check around the nursery, but also check out what your neighbors plant.
My Favorite Smell-gooders:
Lavender
Dianthus (pinks)
Nicociana (Flowering tobacco)
Heliotrope (smells like vanilla)
Lillies
Roses
Herbs
Allyssum
Spring bulbs:
hyacinths
Daffodils
Tulips
Lilac bushes
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Crappy weather but lots of plants
I went on a wild spending spree yesterday. The way blu buys designer knockoffs I buy plants. Especially in the Spring time. But the weather turned shitty again so all of these plants are on my front porch huddled together in big cartons and in paper bags. Yesterday I looked at the weather forecast and it’s rain, rain, rain, showers, partly cloudy, rain, rain, cloudy, partly cloudly for the next ten freaking days. Mother Nature/God . . hello . . . my solar powered copper fountain needs sun to run, Honey. Cloudy, rainy days aint gonna cut it.
Anyway, Rural King (a seed/tool/cheapy-creepy store) had big ole pots of rosemary for $2.99 each!
Most of this stuff is going in the wine barrels. Here’s what’s living on my porch for awhile:
3 rosemary
3 different tomato plants (BP put them in the crat and expects me to plant them)
3 different pepper plants (BP again)
1 fernleaf dill
2 thymes
3 Italian parsley
1 curly parsley (for butterflies to use to have sex and lay their eggs in)
3 Basils (no bollocks on my basils either)
2 Wave petunias (a start for my hanging baskets)
I want some snapdragons but they were all in full bloom, and you do NOT buy bedding plants when their in full bloom at the nursery (no matter what Ded will try and sell you.) You want plants to bloom at your home, not in the nursery.
I’ve got my list ready for the other containers but I won’t buy anything else for at least two weeks.
Anyway, Rural King (a seed/tool/cheapy-creepy store) had big ole pots of rosemary for $2.99 each!
Most of this stuff is going in the wine barrels. Here’s what’s living on my porch for awhile:
3 rosemary
3 different tomato plants (BP put them in the crat and expects me to plant them)
3 different pepper plants (BP again)
1 fernleaf dill
2 thymes
3 Italian parsley
1 curly parsley (for butterflies to use to have sex and lay their eggs in)
3 Basils (no bollocks on my basils either)
2 Wave petunias (a start for my hanging baskets)
I want some snapdragons but they were all in full bloom, and you do NOT buy bedding plants when their in full bloom at the nursery (no matter what Ded will try and sell you.) You want plants to bloom at your home, not in the nursery.
I’ve got my list ready for the other containers but I won’t buy anything else for at least two weeks.
Saturday, April 29, 2006
I'm back.
I'm back. Thanks for all the posts, you nutballs. I went to a meeting which was held at one of the casino hotels in southern Indiana. Friday was a beautiful day and we had fun, although I did lose two hundred dollars in the slots. Oh, well.
We bough a new copper fountain that's solar powered and BP installed it for me on Thursday. I love it, and it will look neater once it ages and gets that cool copper patina. I'll post a picture later. I bought it off the INternet and it wasn't that expensive. The birds love it already.
We bough a new copper fountain that's solar powered and BP installed it for me on Thursday. I love it, and it will look neater once it ages and gets that cool copper patina. I'll post a picture later. I bought it off the INternet and it wasn't that expensive. The birds love it already.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
Cooking with Emma
We go to this good Thai restaurant and I love their basil beef dish. I tried to replicate it at home and it’s very good. I made it yesterday for dinner, and I’ll have the leftovers for lunch today!
My Thai Basil Beef w/ Jasmine Rice
Ingredients
One pound or so good steak (I use sirloin) Cut into bite sized pieces (You can also make this with boneless chicken)
1 yellow pepper, thinly sliced
1 red pepper, thinly sliced
1 small yellow onion, thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
1 small can of coconut milk (I use low fat) (Find it on the Asian foods aisle)
1 ¼ cups uncooked jasmine rice
1 small can of chicken stock/broth
1 tablespoon curry powder (I use red curry)
I teaspoon cumin
1/8 teaspoon (dash) of cinnamon
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon Kosher salt
1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
½ cup fresh chopped basil
olive oil
About one hour before:
Marinate the steak with about two tablespoons of olive oil and half of the curry powder and half the black pepper. Refrigerate.
For the rice:
Put a tablespoon of olive oil in the bottom of a hot pan. Add rice. Stir, coating the rice for about a minute. Add chicken stock and two tablespoons of the coconut milk. Bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to low until the rice is cooked through.
In a large saute pan:
Put the marinated steak into the hot pan and sear on both sides (about a minute on each side). Set aside in a bowl. Then in the same pan over medium heat, add about a tablespoon of olive oil and then add the peppers, onions and garlic. Cook for about five minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the rest of the curry powder, cumin, salt, cinnamon, pepper and the rest of red pepper flakes. Add the steak back in. Add the remaining coconut milk and stir. Cover and cook through on low heat for about ten minutes. A minute before serving stir in the basil. Serve with the rice.
My Thai Basil Beef w/ Jasmine Rice
Ingredients
One pound or so good steak (I use sirloin) Cut into bite sized pieces (You can also make this with boneless chicken)
1 yellow pepper, thinly sliced
1 red pepper, thinly sliced
1 small yellow onion, thinly sliced
2 cloves garlic, thinly sliced
1 small can of coconut milk (I use low fat) (Find it on the Asian foods aisle)
1 ¼ cups uncooked jasmine rice
1 small can of chicken stock/broth
1 tablespoon curry powder (I use red curry)
I teaspoon cumin
1/8 teaspoon (dash) of cinnamon
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon Kosher salt
1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
½ cup fresh chopped basil
olive oil
About one hour before:
Marinate the steak with about two tablespoons of olive oil and half of the curry powder and half the black pepper. Refrigerate.
For the rice:
Put a tablespoon of olive oil in the bottom of a hot pan. Add rice. Stir, coating the rice for about a minute. Add chicken stock and two tablespoons of the coconut milk. Bring to a boil. Cover, reduce heat to low until the rice is cooked through.
In a large saute pan:
Put the marinated steak into the hot pan and sear on both sides (about a minute on each side). Set aside in a bowl. Then in the same pan over medium heat, add about a tablespoon of olive oil and then add the peppers, onions and garlic. Cook for about five minutes, stirring occasionally. Add the rest of the curry powder, cumin, salt, cinnamon, pepper and the rest of red pepper flakes. Add the steak back in. Add the remaining coconut milk and stir. Cover and cook through on low heat for about ten minutes. A minute before serving stir in the basil. Serve with the rice.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
I sent a nastygram to Oprah
I don’t watch Oprah on a daily basis, but I did happen to catch it on Friday. The topic was “Class in America.” Great topic, but the show really sucked. The producer should be fired.
She had on Clinton’s Secretary of Labor Robert Reich (looking very gnomish by the way). Oprah kept him in an audience chair. He told us what we all know. 80-90% of this country’s wealth is in the hands of 1% of the people. The middle class is shrinking. More poor in America. “The American Dream” is no longer attainable for everyone.
So instead of a good discussion, the show highlighted three or four vapid women who said that they generalized the “lower class” were people with non-designer bags, dressly poorly and had dirty fingernails. One wailed that people looked down on her even though she drove a BMW because she was a hostess in a high-end restaurant. Waaaaaaaaa. Big fucking deal.
I was waiting for Miss Oprah to say, “Hey! Wait a second. There are many many people out there with dirty ingernails who are honest, hard working and have great character. But she didn’t say a word.
There was one lower working class black guy who said that he felt invisible. The only legitimate comment of the show.
Some snot-nosed heir to the Johnson & Johnson fortune was on hawking his film, and he admitted that, yes, he would be disappointed if he was cut out of his father’s will. SHOCKER.
Also Warren Buffet’s granddaughter was on (both she and the Johnson kid got to sit by Oprah, btw.) She told the harrowing tale of not getting a penny from her grandfather. (Although he paid her way through college so she could do whatever she wanted.)
What could have been an interesting and informative show was a real mess.
She had on Clinton’s Secretary of Labor Robert Reich (looking very gnomish by the way). Oprah kept him in an audience chair. He told us what we all know. 80-90% of this country’s wealth is in the hands of 1% of the people. The middle class is shrinking. More poor in America. “The American Dream” is no longer attainable for everyone.
So instead of a good discussion, the show highlighted three or four vapid women who said that they generalized the “lower class” were people with non-designer bags, dressly poorly and had dirty fingernails. One wailed that people looked down on her even though she drove a BMW because she was a hostess in a high-end restaurant. Waaaaaaaaa. Big fucking deal.
I was waiting for Miss Oprah to say, “Hey! Wait a second. There are many many people out there with dirty ingernails who are honest, hard working and have great character. But she didn’t say a word.
There was one lower working class black guy who said that he felt invisible. The only legitimate comment of the show.
Some snot-nosed heir to the Johnson & Johnson fortune was on hawking his film, and he admitted that, yes, he would be disappointed if he was cut out of his father’s will. SHOCKER.
Also Warren Buffet’s granddaughter was on (both she and the Johnson kid got to sit by Oprah, btw.) She told the harrowing tale of not getting a penny from her grandfather. (Although he paid her way through college so she could do whatever she wanted.)
What could have been an interesting and informative show was a real mess.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Fact: The Assistant to the Regional Manager Doll is Here
You can preorder a Dwight K. Schrute Bobblehead doll from the NBC.com shop. There is a God.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
The lawn
Yesterday was the first lawn mowing of the season. It’s been LP’s job for the last two years. Instead of boring old, neat, straight-line mowing, my inventive son mows in circles, on angles, leaves big clumps here and there, and doesn’t do a very good job at trimming where the mower won’t go. But at least it’s mown. There are other things to worry about.
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