Bert queried “Have you noticed that Britney Spears doesn't appear to be that good a mother?”
I have no doubt that she loves her kids, but she’s a hick. A hick with money and no one to tell her to stfu, and that when you have kids, you have to sacrifice and give up certain things. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of seeing and/or reading about Paris’ bal(le)d snatch, Lindsay’s bal(le)d snatch, and now Britney’s bal(le)d snatch (complete with Caesarian scar). And who said it was okay to shave your pubes? God gave us pubes for a reason, Girls. It’s protection . . . especially if you’re dumb enough not to wear underwear!
And here’s another celebrity thing that gets me. Gwyneth Paltrow is quoted in a Portuguese magazine, and reported in the main stream press, as saying that she’s glad she lives in Britain, and that Americans are dumber than Brits and Brits aren’t crass like us Yankees and that Brits talk about more than jobs and money over dinner. That may be true, but here’s the thing. Ole Gwennie is a child of privilege. She went to all the right schools and probably had nannies and maids and shit growing up, and mingle with the rich and powerful so what “real” Americans has she ever had contact with? Speaking for myself I don’t ever talk about jobs and money at all the smart dinner parties I get invited to.
I don’t care if she and Madonna live in England and have now obtained phoney British accents, but don’t go biting the hand that feeds you. If she thinks Americans are the Great Unwashed, then what’s that make her by accepting all that dirty cash for her second-rate movies that the G.U. went out and saw in theaters?
So, Miss Stank, live in peace with Chris Martin and your Apple and What’s His Name, and your pal Madonna and Stella McCartney and Posh Spice and hopefully you’ll discuss children’s nappies, baby poo, yoga and Pilates classes, world hunger and world politics over High Tea instead of that dirty nasty money you get from the Great Unwashed peasants over on this side of the Pond.
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22 comments:
At last, a Christmas present for me! An Emma Rant! Thank you!
Is it just me, or is it possibly the most pathetic way in the world to earn a living: following 'celebrities' around and photographing them and quoting them?
As for Britney, my criticism stems from the appearance she's created, that she'd rather have a good time than tend to her kids. But what rational female being wouldn't, if given the chance? Oh, yeah, the mature ones, who know what's good for their offspring.
I think Gwyn has a point ;)
Emma, please. Gywneth made her comments to the Portuguese newspaper "Diario de Noticias." As it happens, it is the custom in Portugal for newspapers and magazines to publish in Portuguese. So who is the cheeky monkey (British slang I learned at High Tea) that translated Paltrow's remarks into Portuguese; and then who is the smart fellow who translated said remarks back out again--into faux-accented English? Find these rascals, for that is where the fault lies.
Using the internet (a handy device Madonna clued me in on), I found the website, "Diario de Noticias Online." Once there, I searched for "Paltrow." Nothing about dinner conversation came up, but I did retrieve a review of her movie about Slyvia Plath. Good enough. As an experiment, I then used Google's translation feature to decode the text from Portuguese into English. Here's the result:
"It is the case of one another film, on the poetess Sylvia Plath, where the Gwinneth actress Paltrow makes an immense effort to reproduce, but what from there transpira little more induces its admirers who the disillusion. Even because the form as the argument portraies “its” husband is marked by bad an anticipated classification of carácter. It is not that Sylvia had been happy with Ted Hughes, or that its disobedience materialize when placing the head in an oven with the open gas was the epic end for who writes so disturbing poems, but who likes to read knows them as well as was failed to meet and that it had the luck to die in time to become almost prohibit Ted for the remaining portion of the life."
So you see what I believe has happened here is that the Gwinneth actress Paltrow has been falsely marked by bad an anticipated classification of carácter. For her supposed "transgression," Gwinneth actress Paltrow when placing the head in an oven with the open gas though some cry out for it does not deserve the epic end. It's a "failure to communicate."
Besides, with the exception of "Shakespeare in Love," nobody in America has even seen any of her movies, and she's now too old to make many more. That's her real complaint: Hollywood's discrimination against aging actresses, who are not hired (work) and no longer make make money (money)--washed, tossed or unwashed.
Ah, PTB! Thanks for the research. I sit (coffee cup in hand) . . .corrected. Paltrow's a victim of the Liberal Portuguese press and bad translation.
Meme,
I'd knew YOU'd back old Gwyn ;)
Bert,
You didn't tell me how you stand on unprotected, shaved bald vaginas.
britney spears and lindsay lohan need to go and get their heads examined. something is seriously f****d up in there. they should be arrested for indecent exposure for gods sake. blech.
Eaam remarked, "Bert, You didn't tell me how you stand on unprotected, shaved bald vaginas."
It's not a question I'd ever asked myself... I have now searched my soul and have decided that I am a typical male. Meaning, of course, that like Everest, if it's there, I must mount it. No one comments about Everest's scenery, but only if they made it to the top.
But for the record I've never been in Nepal and I'm not planning on going there...
paris hilton is allegedly a lesbian which is fine by me
Sorry, but I live in Hick Central, and being a Hick doesn't explain Britney. She is pure unadulterated trash, and she needs to think about how her kids are going to feel about her being seen in public with her coochie and/or ass hanging out in public. Mothers should not dress/act like that.
Ms. Paltrow's career is in the toilet, and she probably made that statement to get attention. Kind of like when Johnny Depp said the US is like a big dumb puppy.
I can always count on Spidey. She sent me the infamous picture of Britney's thatchless snatch. If you want to see it, either email Spidercar@aol.com or post here
(PS: It's nt that exciting)
Not exciting at all, it looked like a cross betwixt a catchers mit and or a chalupa from taco bell. It also looked as if the poor woman waxed with electrical tape. Just commenting! I usually find a womans body to be beautiful but this was not so hot! Lubee
testing testing TESTING.
testtesttesttest
This is a test.
You are now experiencing a test. Remain calm.
This is The Nagual speaking.
(Anyone recognize that quote?)
(It's what the Zodiac killer used to start every letter with.)
What is happening in this place? I see that BERT and PTBonehead are both posting in here? It all seems very odd to me.
BTW posh lives in spain and doesn;t knock around with stella and Kate and sienna because she's not cool enough she has to make tdo with being Katies Homes new bezzie friend
"chalupa from taco bell" HA!
Naggypoo (if that really IS the naguala)shutthehellup and don't bad mouth PTB! (Bert's up for grabs) Did it take a whiff of Britney's tang to bring you sniffing around here?
PS: I love you
UPDATE!!
Gwennie recants!:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16044484/
Gwennie spent most of the time up to her marrying Chris martin bitching about how Crap britian was and tehn recanted that too
I wish I lived in a country I could spell :(
Hello :o)
Here's the deal...you get Madonna and Gwyn back, and we get Emilio Estevez and that Dr off ER with the Polish accent.
Oh, and please can we have back Tim Roth and Alex Kingston.
(You can keep Tom Jones and Catherine Zeta-Jones...we never wanted them in the first place.)
the dr off er with the polish accent is a croation you stupid woman :: rolls eyes:: Goran Visnjic
and a croatian too or a croat like Goran Ivanisevic you remember he was my fetish before Pete
"I wish I lived in a country I could spell :( "
move to Oz ;)
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