Do people really have fun at amusement parks?
When I was down in Florida the person I went to the conference with and I took one day off and went to Universal Studios.
We went on The Cat in the Hat ride (wait was five minutes), another Suess ride (wait was 10 minutes) then we had lunch at Emeril’s restaurant where the woman at the next table whipped out her big blue-veined tit and nursed her baby. Am I offended by breastfeeding? No. Not discreet public breastfeeding. This woman made a display of whipping out her milky tit. Instead of sitting towards the wall where no other diner could have known what she was doing, she sat facing the entire restaurant and whipped it out. The manager was too much of a pussy to say anything to her. To his defense, she was probably one of those idiots who would have accused him of being “anti-motherhood.” I am not anti-motherhood. I’m anti- having to see a big blue-veined tit and a kid sucking on it when I’m trying to enjoy an overpriced lunch at Emeril’s.
Anyway, I digress. After lunch we waited sixty minutes to ride the Back to the Future ride which sucked and wasn’t worth 60 minutes of my life. My friend then wanted to wait another hour to ride this Earthquake ride, so I said I’d wait by this fake-warehouse building on a comfortable wooden bench while she rode on it. I enjoyed watching people’s faces and hearing snippets on their conversations. Their faces told me that they weren’t having fun. Even the kids were whining and snarling and so I figured out that Disney and Universal and Six Flags and King’s Island and all those other amusement parks are perpetuating a BIG LIE on the American Public. Their commercials promise smiling faces and grandparents having fun with bright-eyed children. But, in fact, it’s a BIG LIE.
I must be cursed because years and years ago when my sisters and I were at DisneyWorld waiting in the long ass line for It’s a Small World ride, another big, big woman a few people in front of us whipped out her tit and breastfed. Any man who is a “breast man” shouldn’t watch when a Big, big woman, or a woman with big blue-veined tits breastfeed their offspring.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
See, now I almost wish I was going to have more kids just so I could come to a Shelf meet and flop it out in front of you. Though, I think you should at least put a blanket or a cloth diaper over it.
Hey, Big Breasted Betty--who the hell are you?
I'm so glad that you didn't post any illustrative photos.
R
I loved Epcott. I could have spent two weeks there. I hate rides, because I am one big wimp, and queues push my blood pressure up.
One of the most horrific sights I ever saw was when I was a practice manager, and a woman came in and breast fed her child in the middle of the shop floor. The reason it was horrific? The child was at least 5 years old.
It's just me, Wemma. Sometimes Blogger won't let me log in under quotestheraven and I get stuck with Betty (my gmail).
I went to Sea World last week. Enjoyable but not my cup of tea. I love the animals but hated the hords of smelly people bumping into me at the shows. Aimee talked me into it. I had never been there. Plus it's so much walking. My shins are still killing me. My favorite little florida place is St. Augustine. It's so quaint and sweet and I love the history and it's completely haunted. Took great pictures in the cemetary at 2 am. Had a blast. Can't wait to go back. Lubee
The best rides are flesh
You just now figured out that all those happy people you see on Disney commercials are either being paid to smile or are on drugs?
Post a Comment