Thank yew

Today LP and I are going to my nephew and niece’s birthday party cookout. He’s two and she’s four. For E. Claire we bought an array of Hello Kitty things. She’s also into Strawberry Shortcake. How long as Strawberry Shortcake been around? I remember her from when my sister was young!
For Rossie it’s bath stuff (I know….he’ll love it) and a firetruck. This kid is the happiest, most content, child I’ve ever been around. I think he’s the 15th incarnation of the Dali Lama. Nothing upsets him (except ear infections.) He’s just a very pleasant kid. We’re also giving their older brother (who is eight) ten bucks so he won’t feel left out. I know there is some controversy about bringing something to all the kids in the family when one has a birthday, but oh well.


Yesterday I was on the porch potting up some white wave petunias and some other type of tall spikey thing with tiny white flowers (the tag just said “tropical flower”.) I was hot, sweaty and dirty. These three preteens in dresses come up the walkway. I see them out of the corner of my eye. “Oh, shit,” I thought.
Girls: We’re from the Temple Baptist Church. Do you want a tract?
(holding out a paper)
Me: No thanks. (looking back down at my pots)
Girls: We’re in your neighborhood today to invite you to one of our services.
Me: Thanks, but no. (pleasantly, believe it or not) I’m busy right now.

Two of the girls seemed to take the hint, but one said, “If you die tonight will you go to our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ?”

Me: Sorry, but my beliefs are no one’s business but my own.

I did my best Det. Brenda Johnson of The Closer voice and said “Thank yewww.”

I wanted to ask them each for a lock of hair for a special Wiccan ceremony that was taking place at midnight, but I thought better of it.

I detest proselytizers of any religion