Saturday, December 23, 2006

Vomit and diarrhea

Last night I dreamt that I was sick. I woke up at 3am and was. I spent the next half hour sitting on the toilet with explosive diarrhea, and vomiting into the wastebasket. Oh, did I mention I’m on my period too? ARGGGH. As I was sitting there barfing, with my godawful dirty hair (I was planning to wash it this morning) with vomit on my t-shirt sleeve, I thought about the poor paramedics and CSIs who’d show up if I died on the toilet like Elvis. They’d have to take pictures and samples and have to deal with the smells. I lived so that those people wouldn’t have to deal with it.
After my intestines/colon/whatever was finished churning and I was finished vomiting for the time being, I was so weak and tired I barely made it back to bed (I brought the wastebasket with me just in case.). With BP returning from a business trip this evening, thank God I had the bed to myself. I was freezing and shivering for awhile and piled on every spare blanket and throw. Then, I’d turn so hot and sticky, I’d throw them all on the floor.
I dreamed fitfully that I was at dinner with David Letterman and he was eating a steak and creamed spinach. The thought of food revolted me and I vomited in my purse.
I got up again at 6 and started the process all over. Nesta was whining to be let in so I filled her water and food dishes, let her in and went back to bed and slept until 11.
LP got up, saw what a shitty, matted, crusty mess I was and asked if he could help. I sent him to the little store a few blocks away for a Sprite and some Tums.
It’s now 3pm and I’m feeling better and just washed my hair. I put the bedclothes and my vomited t-shirt in the washer. LP went to Jordan’s house.
How do bulimics stand to vomit on purpose? It’s one of the worst things to go through.
I think Bert put a Brown People hex on me because he didn’t like the banana stand. Merry-puking-Christmas.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

How nice for the holidays. Drink lots of fluids. I hope you feel better soon. Hope your family has a wonderful Christmas. Lubee.

Anonymous said...

Emma, bleh! I went through that a while back (oh yeah, on October 29, to be exact, 23 years to the day when I was 17 and met Mr. Tree--he was wielding an unloaded gun as a gangster for a Halloween party, I was Olivia Newton John in her "Physical" phase) and it sucked. Eat some soda crackers and gingerale. Maybe by tomorrow you'll be back to your radiant old self.

Brenda said...

did you eat at taco bell??
hehehehe


hope you feel better. :)

Anonymous said...

Emmakins, any curse I laid on you would eventually involve pampers.

I'm glad you are apparently over it.

Who you gonna sue?

sparky said...

I love creamed spinich , whats that good brand ? Seabrook farms? And with a good steak sounds just great to me .

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear you were sick!!! That sucks. Hope you're feeling better. I've had two really bad colds this year but no puking so far . . . knock on wood.

Anonymous said...

Everybodys ill! You and Mrs Weasley. Tsk. Hope you are all germ free for Christmas.

Merry Christmas xxxx

Anonymous said...

ugh, that sounds like my bout of food poisoning. Glad you're feeling better.

Anonymous said...

My illness is worse than yours and I am still ill