Look what I found

A slug that Jackie's daughter might like :)

One of Satan’s minions--goes by the name of Bill O’Reilly-- is on Oprah today. She won’t have hip hop/rappers on, but she’ll have that turd on her show? C’mon, Ops…….which one of your segment producers is a closet Nazi freak? I don’t know if I’ll get home in time to watch it, but I hope she asks him about his masturbatory fantasies of showering his sexually harassed employee with a loofah.

I want coffee.

One Vote

back to work

Ugh. The frost is on the proverbial pumpkin today.
I worked outside yesterday and I'm sore today. I thinned out the coneflowers, worked some amendments into the soil, and planted the daffodils. Then I mulched. I also moved some big decorative rocks that were hidden with some overgrown perennials to a place where I could enjoy them. I like rocks, I do. I still have a bigass wheelbarrow full of hacked down stuff, in the front yard. If I have the energy after work, I'll haul it around the back and pitch it in the overgrown compost pile.

I saw Sharon Lovejoy (big in the gardening world) on PBS' The Victory Garden Saturday and she was making a "salamander house" from logs and wood screws. They're just stacked like Lincoln Logs and they look cool and rustic. Salamanders supposedly are a good thing to invite into the garden. They eat pill bugs and motherfucking slugs. I hate motherfucking slugs almost as much as I hate motherfucking Japanese beetles. So, I might have BP make a few salamander houses for me. I don't know if they're even around these here parts. I'll have to research, unless one of you know about salamanders and could impart some wisdom.

I finally started Chris Elliott's The Shroud of the Thwacker last night in bed. I actually LOLd a few times. It' s funny and I can imagine his voice as I read it. You know Chris Elliott? For years and years he wrote for the David Letterman Show, and bit part acted in sketches on the show. He recently played Amy's whacked out brother in Everybody Loves Raymond. You either love Chris Elliott or you think he's a no talent dimwitted balding hound-dog looking guy. Chris, if you're reading this, I meant that only in the most loving way. I appreciate you!

The three of us are going to get flu shots after LP gets out of school today.

I was across town last night and saw a house with a Christmas tree up already. At first I thought it was a "Halloween tree", but no...it was framed in their picture window . . . a freaking Christmas tree, decorated and lit. In October. If if were QUEEN OF THE UNIVERSE, those homeowners would be dead.

Monday

Nothing new at Mom’s. She wanted to go to Applebee’s for lunch (It was nasty.) I took her shopping. Then home, where she insisted on watching the Notre Dame game until she wanted me to drop her off at church for Saturday mass. The church is two minutes from her house—you can literally see it out the front door and across a meadow, and mass on Saturday begins at 5:30, so when did she want to leave? 4:00. That’s right 4:00, partly because UCLA scored a touchdown and she can’t stand to watch when Notre Dame’s losing. I think they eventually won, but who knows. So I took her over there at 4, and went home to make chili for dinner. My oldest sister and her daughter and friend joined us at 7 for din-din.

So, I’m taking off of work today and tomorrow and want to get a few things accomplished, mainly plant a bag of 50 daffodils, and get my desk cleaned off and in order. That should take the entire two days.

If you’ve a mind to Christmas shop: Here’s want I want: Portrait

LP & I are going to visit my mother today and stay the night with her. Before we leave I’ll leave explicit instructions to Nesta not to have any stray toms over to party.

Spidey, Uncle Allen is back in California for the time being. Thank God. But he’s only there to put up his condo for sale and then the first of the year he’ll be back permanently. He’s got a choice of three houses that would be suitable for him (not ours). Before BP drove him to the airport do you think he offered thanks of any kind to us for putting up with his wrinkled old butt for weeks on end? I’ll leave you to figure that out for yourself.Thanks for bringing him up. I can feel my blood pressure going up.

Oh, and I hope some of the rest of you are privileged enough to be the recipients of Respighi’s jazzy emails! The woman is so witty! On the subject line was “Fart” and then I opened it and she had written “tee hee.” Thanks Respighi, you made my day!! ; )

364 more days until Pretzel Day

What a good The Office episode.
We saw:
Stanley excited about Pretzel Day.
Ryan the Temp's initiation by Dwight K. Schrute.
Dwight's cousin and best friend, Mose.
Interaction (by phone, at least) between Jim & Pam. How sweet was that?
That Michael is a good salesman despite his shortcomings as a human being.
Phyllis giving Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration a little sugar in the pretzel line.

Prairie Home Companion

I bought Prairie Home Companion last week on DVD and watched it on Sunday. I really enjoyed it. It's not my favorite Altman movie (that distinction goes to The Player,) but it was good. Is there anything that Meryl Streep can't do? Her singing is absolutely wonderful. And Lily Tomlin? Woot. Love me some Lily. I'd like to have Lily over for some chili and cornbread. I love Lily's face with its age lines. No Botox for Lily. She's over 60 and it shows but that's a good thing. I hate expressionless actor-Botoxed faces.

Remember that god awful movie she was in with John Travolta years and years ago? I can't remember the name of it and I'm too lazy to Google it, but it was enough to leave a bad taste in your mouth. she was wooden. He was wooden, and the script sucked. NO CHEMISTRY.

PHC is not for everyone. There's not a single M16 firing or car chase or bank explosion in the entire movie. It's slow and steady and satisfying. Garrison Keillor is a surprisely good actor--even though he was playing a character named "Garrison Keillor." What a stretch.

Sometimes I don't like Kevin Kline. In some movies he comes off as being too "actor-y" but he was okay in this. Guy Noir was his character's name. What a great name.

SNL's Maya Rudolph was in it and was surprisingly okay.

Who sucked in the movie, you ask. Okay I'll tell you who sucked in the movie. Lindsay Lohan sucked, that's who. She's such a cartoon in the media with her antics that I couldn't get passed the buzz and see her as this dark teen obsessed with suicide and bad poetry. She needs to go away for about ten years and come back and "ACT."

Another pot smoking loony actor I don't like is Woody Herrelson. Blech. But John C Reilly, who was in Chicago, was a-okay as Woody's singing cowboy partner.


Oh, and on that gossipy website that Mems got me hooked on, someone says Meryl is addicted to pornos. Eh. That's ok. She sings like an angel and she should be nominated again for an Oscar for her role in The Devil Wears Prada. The woman is mesmerizing.

Trying to help out a Sister

Here Schell, here's a pillow you can use to replace the one you lost


 

Drinking cat

Yesterday I was making dinner and glanced out the window and saw this huge cat drinking from the birdbath. I took this picture through the front screen door--that's why it sucks. I opened the door hoping to get a better shot , the cat saw me and hightailed it over across the yard.
That was pretty much the highlight on my Sunday. That, and of course admiring my object dee art left to me by my dead Aunt Dorothy.

 

Another angle

Perhaps it's beautiful from
this angle.

 

Another view

Perhaps another view would help. The built-in caddy, I assume,
would hold either loose cigarettes or matches perhaps.
Do you love it yet? Tell me it's not ugly (although I did LOL
for three straight minutes at Mems' previous comment.)
Thanks, Porks, for seeing the beauty.



 

Pretty Ugly

It’s Sunday. BP’s away, LP’s asleep on the couch, and Nesta’s been put on the back porch because she was climbing and almost knocked over a priceless relic I inherited from my dead Aunt Dorothy. It’s actually a huge, old, strange coffee table ashtray from the 60’s or 70’s. It’s one of those things that I can’t decide if it’s pretty or ugly. Of course we don’t use it as an ashtray. BP smokes, but he’s nice enough to only do it on the porch or in the basement. It’s an “object dee art,” as Roseann once called something on her TV show.













That's the lighter in the top left corner. 

Friday Night

I’m reading a book entitled Some Nerve by Jane Heller. She’s writes beach-read books that are fun to read. This one is about a celebrity writer for a People-type magazine who has to get the Big Get celebrity interview or else her tyrannical boss will fire her. So far, so good.

I’m listening to "The Nail File: The Best of Jimmy Nail" who I fell in love with on Meme’s blog. I loved his "Ain’t No Doubt" song so much I bought a CD. Man, does this guy ever write/sing songs with happy lyrics? I’m half way through the CD and nearly bawling. Haha. I love "Aint No Doubt" (duh) and like "Big River" too. If you listen to "Love Don’t Live Here Anymore"—bring a hankie. Right now he’s singing Andrew Lloyd Webber’s "On This Night of a Thousand Stars." After seeing one of his videos, I keep picturing his big, huge, enormous nose. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Anyway, anyone catch CSI Thursday night? PapaZao aka KFed aka Mr. Britney Spears guest starred as a maniac whose gang went around Vegas beating the shit out of people. What a stretch. One of the Beatees was Greg- the- Lab- Guy- who- advanced- to- a- CSI. Weird episode.

I’m going off to read. Tata To paraphrase Ryan Seacrest: “Emma out.”

Guess the Object

 

How's this Tree? Does it look too poopy?

It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra today. 34 degrees. BP is working on a project in the garage so I had to park the car outside. There was frost on the windshield. Grrrrr.

Last night we went to high school open house. Would someone mind sending a clue to my teenaged son about the importance of education in this society? Grrrr.

Headline News

Killer Denied Parole

Women Screwed Again: Big Surprise


10 Year Old takes on City Hall

First Spinach, Now Carrot Juice

Didn't Make the Cut

I’m rereading the Constitution and came across this. The following is a partial list of actual proposed amendments that did not get ratified:

1876 An attempt to abolish the United States Senate

1876 The forbidding of religious leaders from occupying a governmental office or receiving federal funding (This one doesn’t sound so bad!)

1878 An Executive Council of Three to replace the Office of the President (doesn’t sound so bad, unless those three were Dubya, Cheney & Rumsfeld)

1893 Renaming this nation The United States of the Earth (catchy!)

1893 Abolishing the United States Army & Navy

1894 Acknowledging that the Constitution recognize God and Jesus Christ as the supreme authority in human affairs (with Moses and Mohammad coming in a distant third and fourth)

1912 Making marriage between the races illegal

1914 Finding divorce to be illegal

1916 All acts of war should be put to a national vote. Anyone voting yes had to register as a volunteer for service in the US Army (this one is hysterical)

1933 An attempt to limit personal wealth to $1 million

1936 An attempt to allow the American people to vote on whether or not the United States should go to war.

1947 The income tax maximum for an individual should be exceed 25%

1948 The right of citizens to segregate themselves from others

1971 American citizens should have the alienable right to an environment free of pollution (sounds good to me)