Happy Father's Day

To all Dads both here and gone.

This followed me home Mom, can I keep it?

 

Thank yew

Today LP and I are going to my nephew and niece’s birthday party cookout. He’s two and she’s four. For E. Claire we bought an array of Hello Kitty things. She’s also into Strawberry Shortcake. How long as Strawberry Shortcake been around? I remember her from when my sister was young!
For Rossie it’s bath stuff (I know….he’ll love it) and a firetruck. This kid is the happiest, most content, child I’ve ever been around. I think he’s the 15th incarnation of the Dali Lama. Nothing upsets him (except ear infections.) He’s just a very pleasant kid. We’re also giving their older brother (who is eight) ten bucks so he won’t feel left out. I know there is some controversy about bringing something to all the kids in the family when one has a birthday, but oh well.


Yesterday I was on the porch potting up some white wave petunias and some other type of tall spikey thing with tiny white flowers (the tag just said “tropical flower”.) I was hot, sweaty and dirty. These three preteens in dresses come up the walkway. I see them out of the corner of my eye. “Oh, shit,” I thought.
Girls: We’re from the Temple Baptist Church. Do you want a tract?
(holding out a paper)
Me: No thanks. (looking back down at my pots)
Girls: We’re in your neighborhood today to invite you to one of our services.
Me: Thanks, but no. (pleasantly, believe it or not) I’m busy right now.

Two of the girls seemed to take the hint, but one said, “If you die tonight will you go to our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ?”

Me: Sorry, but my beliefs are no one’s business but my own.

I did my best Det. Brenda Johnson of The Closer voice and said “Thank yewww.”

I wanted to ask them each for a lock of hair for a special Wiccan ceremony that was taking place at midnight, but I thought better of it.

I detest proselytizers of any religion

delicious

Bond No 9 "Peace"
My sister bought me some of this stuff at Sak's
Two words:

De Licious

Last Night's Weird Dream

I was working in a bookstore. It was closing time—9pm and people would not leave. I was getting pissed. “It’s 9 pm, I’ve worked all day and I want to go home!”
Customers kept dilly-dally. It was 10pm when I finally got the doors closed. I was walking home when out of the blue a most-gorgeous, tall and dark-haired man and his beautifully dressed mother (?!!), walked by and offered to buy me a drink. We ducked into a nearby bar, ordered drinks and started talking. He said he and his mother belonged to this church and he wanted me to join. I said, “Hell, no! I don’t want to join your church!”
The mother whacked out and started babbling in some ancient type language (I think I offended her.) The man was trying to calm her down and at the same time turned to me and said, “Well then do you just want to fuck?”
Cheers!

For Lubee

Lubee wanted to see a picture of me. Lulu, here we are: Me, BP and Liam dressed in drag. This was snapped before we left for church. Enjoy!

 

Contest

Create a caption 

Orange lily. Picasa2 is fun. Thanks Tree!


 

Annoying and Cloying

Entertainment Weekly did an online survey and wanted people to name the most annoying/useless television character. Some named real people: Kathy Lee Gifford for her non stop yakking about precious Cody and her stud husband Frank, Tammy Faye Bakker, Donald Trump. But most named fictional characters: Alf, Steve Urkel, etc.

I nominate Ralph Malph from Happy Days, the neighbor from Home Improvement who was only seen from his eyes up, Fantasy Island’s Tattoo, Love Boat’s Vicki Stubing, and Punky Brewster. All annoying, cloying and useless.

Neccos and Gene Wilder

I was eating Neccos as we watched The Producers (I'd rate it a C+--Will Ferrell as Franz Liebkind stole his every scene) on DVD last night. My favorite colors from BEST to WORST are:

Brown
Orange
Green
Yellow
Purple
White
Pink
Black

Today is Gene Wilder's 73rd Birthday. Happy Birthday to Gene! He's one of the best comedic actors alive.

This is the time of year when the graduation announcements come in droves. Friends, relatives, friends of friends, co-workers’ children, etc. etc. etc. For most, I just send a graduation card. Why should I dole out money to a co-worker’s kid who I’ve met once when the kid was nine? All of a sudden the kid is 18 and a high school graduate and I’m supposed to buy him a gift or send him money.
My husband’s niece just graduated high school. She lives in Atlanta and she sent us an announcement. Or, to be more precise, her mother sent us an announcement. The kid is pleasant enough, is going to a bible college in the fall, but since I married BP almost seven years ago, I’ve seen her once. I bought a cute card at Target and enclosed an “atta girl!” sentiment along with a check for twenty-five dollars. I thought it was adequate, but BP (WHOSE SIGNATURE ON THE CARD I HAD TO FORGE BY THE WAY) said, “You should have sent $50.” FIFTY!!?? wtf? For high school? I thought $25 was generous for a high school gift. True or false?

V is for Vicodin

Since LP’s surgery my days are all mixed up. Everyday seems either like a Saturday or a Sunday. Today we have an appointment with his general practioner—just to keep him updated. I’m taking all of LP’s prescriptions and see if we can ditch some. Since he’s pooping regularly (I’ll pause here so you can applaud!) I don’t think he needs the stool softener anymore.
His doctor at Riley said that if he can manage his pain, that I should wean him off the Vicodin and just give him ibuprofen. I’ve been doing that. Liam has been saying that all food tastes “funny” and it “pisses me off!” Sigh. But yesterday he didn’t have any Vicodin and the chow tasted better, so I wonder if that’s a side effect of the V. Anyone know?
He’s also taking a diuretic and a pill that retains potassium because the diuretic makes it go bye-bye in his system. He’ll probably still have to take both of them until next month when we see his surgeon again.
He really has made a remarkable recovery. How do I know this? Because he’s tired of being at home, wants to get out and walk around the mall and is back to playing the stupid idiotic X Box game that he likes. I have a summer reading list for him, so I’m sure he’ll loooooove it when we start on that!
I’m thinking about allowing him to accompany blu on her trip to Greece. I’m sure they’ll both cherish that trip!
I saw Respighi made a mean comment on my cat picture—but I’m glad to see her. I haven’t seen evidence of her existence for a long while.

What's in bloom

I think these are called lollipop lillies--or something like that. I should have marked them. Anyway they're nice.

cat on a catalog

Here is the cutest kitty in the world making herself comfortable on my living room coffee table, sitting on a plant catalog. She got a brand new "safe cat" pink collar with a pink bell. She's stylin'.

My favorite 1987 era female detective

I just finished Sue Grafton’s S is for Silence. As you know Grafton’s alphabet books feature insurance detective Kinsey Milhone. I really wish Bert still read these blogs because I’d like his take on this installment. I loved it. It was one of Grafton’s better ones. Most of Kinsey’s adventures are enjoyable (except the M or P one—I forget now. But one of those really stank)

The main character in S isn’t Kinsey, it’s a dead woman named Violet Sullivan. She wondered off in 1953, and her emotionally blotto daughter Daisy hires Kinsey to see what happened to her. The book alternates between 1953 and Kinsey’s present day of 1987.

What else did I like about S? No mention of Kinsey’s hack job-of-a-haircut. No mention of her all purpose black dress. Grafton does, however, again (and again) remind us that Kinsey loves a quarter pounder with cheese more than life itself.

This Kinsey Milhone case gets an A-

Little Puddin

Thanks for all of you who asked/emailed about LP. His surgery was on Tuesday and he came through like a trooper. During his hospital stay he gave his nurses a hard time questioning everything they did--and removing his catheter was not a pleasant time.
He was released today at noon and he and BP just went to the video store. He’s on five meds and we revisit his surgeon next month.
He can’t overexert himself this summer and can’t lift more than a gallon of milk. So lawn mowing is out for the rest of the season.
He’s not eating a lot yet, and we’re still waiting for him to poop. I’ll keep you updated on that scenario.

Hotter than hell

It's hotter than hell. 84 degrees and a heat index of 96. Heavy humidity. And what was I doing? Planting Shasta daisies. My daisies burned out last year, and they're such happy flowers I wanted to plant some more. Plus every garden should have some white flowers.
Here is a picture of the soil I was amending for said daisies.
The red poppy is my pride and joy. I have never have luck with poppies but I love them.
The poppy head that looks like a hairy ballsac (maybe Basil's?) is destined to be an orange poppy. I think it's called Prince William.
The picture of that pink flower is a Mystery Flower. I remember planting some bulbs last fall among the purple coneflowers that are taking over part of the garden, but I can't remember the name of them. I almost never plant the name stake alongside the plant or bulb because I invariably say, "I'll remember what that is!" Yeah, right.

A blast from the past

Dirty dolly waves hello.
Remember her? from Packrat Auntie's stash?

Pictures

Here are some recent pictures. Meme the picture of my emerging lupines is for you :)

The others are of some of my containers.

Happy Birthday, Bobby!

Dylan is 65 today