Morning Pictures

Update

Sorry for the neglect. I have been soooooooo busy at work (yuck). Things should start to slow down a bit in a week or so.

BP did not whack me upside the head with a leg of lamb (so far, anyway.)

It's been raining a lot (but not like it has been in Dallas) so my garden looks good. My sunflowers, lilies, coneflowers, scabiosa, lavender, roses and Shasta daisies are blooming.

Since we're having people over on Sunday, all of Saturday will be spent grocery shopping, cleaning this god forsaken house, doing laundry and cooking. My oldest sister wants to bring strawberry shortcake (and who is going to argue with that??)

Let's see:

1. I despise Ann Coulter.

2. I did not watch Larry King's interview with Paris Hilton. Personally I don't see the appeal of either of those two people. Larry's a lump, and Hilton's a strump.

3. I just got a bill from LP's high school bookstore telling me that I owe $112.47 for two books he either lost or didn't return at the end of the semester. I'm giving him a week to come up with the two books or I'm taking that money out of his bank account. I paid to rent those mofos ONCE--I don't want to pony up money to replace them. Sheesh.

4. BP is working on fixing up our old Honda so the child can use it when he gets his license. BP changed the brakes and is working to fix the air conditioner.

5. I'm expecting $4000 at the end of summer. BP wants to go to Vegas with it, but I want him to renovate our bathroom. Since he'll do the work himself, the money will go farther. I want: New floor tile, new wall tile, new vanity, new light fixtures and fans, new toilet--is that too much to ask?

SATURDAY

I watched Miss Potter this afternoon. It was a lovely little movie starring the crack whore (alledgely!) Renee Zellweger as Beatrix Potter. Emily Watson and Ewan McGregor costarred. The English Lake District photography was simply magnificent.

It's been raining all day and that's okay with me. We need it. I weeded yesterday and they're still laying in the yard where I tossed them.

We're planning a little get together barbeque here for 4th of July but since the 4th is on a Wednesday--we might move the 4th to , say, Saturday or Sunday. I'm planning just hamburgers and hot dogs with a few salads, chips and stuff like that. BP wants to BBQ lamb on the grill but I think that's a little too much. I want to keep it simple.

I hate work lately. Spidey got rid of her pain-in-the ass work person, but mine is still around unfortunately.

No Update

I'm writing to tell you that there is no update today. Tomorrow's Saturday so I 'll write an update on the No Update then.

However, I did wake up to glorious rain,which w so desparately need. So that's a good thing.

Before work, I'm going to stop at Panera's for coffee. It's Friday and I deserve a treat.

Oh, by the way, as much as I HEART Steve Carell and his career, I'm so tired of seeing those Evan Almighty previews! Thank God that movie opens today! SHEESH--the ad money for that flick must been the combined fortunes of Bill gates and Oprah. Enough already.

Passport

My passport finally arrived (it will mailed in March.) BP's didn't come, neither did LP's, so I'm thinking about jetting to England to:

A) Stop Clanky from tattooing/marring herself, and
B) Visit Meme to see her hairy toe and to buy her a pint.

Sick Day

I called in sick today.

So far I've taken LP to summer school, cleaned the tub, sink and toilet, washed two loads of laundry, Cometed my kitchen sink, threw away four old shampoo bottles that had a third or less of product, watched The Closer I videotaped last night, cuddled the cat, and cleaned and refilled the birdbath.
All that before noon.
I hope I feel better.

Do you clean your own carpets? How much is something like Stanley Steemer to clean one room of carpet?

But I Could Be Wrong

But I Could Be Wrong

Here's a good YouTube video song by the comedian Tim Wilson. Seems like he's as tired of overexposed celebrities as I am!

Thanks to AliasJJ for sending me this video!

Sunday Stuff

1. It's Father's Day. It's been six years since my own father died, and I miss him and his gardening advice and suggestions. He was such a staunch Democrat that I think he and I would have had a good time together making fun of Dubya--now I must carry on by myself with that particular mission. He died a few months before September 11th but, despite having served in WW2 and Korea, he would not have supported the Iraqi war. His view was that America should only enter wars when we had a moral imperative, not because of a suspicion. My Dad would not have agreed to "Shock and Awe." He would have been shocked and appalled.

2. We need rain. Our best chance of getting some is on Tuesday. I will keep fingers, toes and eyes crossed until then.

3. I believe I am having the occasional hot flash. At night it's blanket on, then blanket whipped off, blanket on, blanket whipped off. They happen during the day too. What a drag.

4. Miss Kiki Marie aka Sis aka Cat aka "MOVE!" aka Nesta hunted down a fly yesterday, cornered it against a living room window, caught it and promptly ate it. Maybe she needs more protein in her diet. Why does this cat seem to want to jump out in front of my moving feet, like she's in Parade Lead and get it the way? Maybe Rosa can answer that.

5. I don't want to do even one productive thing today.

I Miss Bill

I was flipping around the remote and landed on CPAN’s airing of today’s speech by Bill Clinton to the National Partnership for Women & Families.

Highlights:

There are 28 million people in the US who earn paychecks and yet do not have bank accounts. They cannot establish credit, qualify for mortgages or earn interest on their money. He said that there are more payday loan franchises in the US than McDonald’s. These payday loans make it easy for poorer people to get caught in a cycle that can charge astronomical interest—some $300 loans end up costing over $700. These 28 million people spend over 10 billion dollars a year on these alternative banking transactions.

He spoke a lot about health care reform and the encouragement of health care providers and insurance companies to promote Wellness Programs.

His foundation helps educate lower income families to apply for tax credits and helps them file tax forms and the like. He’s working for IRS reforms on the EZ forms so poor people don’t have to submit more than one form to apply for these tax credits.

He’s very articulate and optimistic about the future and says every problem in the world comes down to one question, “Do our differences matter more than what we have in common?” From health care to the war in Iraq.

I listened to him for almost an hour and he didn’t smirk or stammer or mispronounce words. Articulate. Charming. Well read. Caring. Smart. Charismatic. Ahhh . . .to have a President like that.

CPAN always reruns speeches. If you can, see it.

What's your pop culture blindspot?

Entertainment Weekly magazine asked their employees what famous movie/tv/book/etc they've never read. (Harry Potter/Simpsons/Sopranos were covered"

"I've never read a book by any of the big best-selling authors. I mean writers like Tom Clancy, Stephen King (sorry, co-worker once removed!), James Patterson, Danielle Steele, John Grisham, David Baldacci, Clive Cussler, Mary Higgins Clark, Nora Roberts, Dean Koontz, Janet Evanovich (have I left anyone out?). Basically this is because I still think that books, as opposed to TV and movies, are supposed to be ''good for you,'' so I only choose classics — you know, like Dickens and Stendhal — which I never pick up because they're too boring. (Maybe I should change this confession to ''I never read books.'')" — Tom Conroy


I think Tom Conroy's a bit of a snob. But here are some famous, well-reviewed shows past & present I've never seen:

ER
Hill Street Blues
NYPD Blue
Sopranos
St. Elsewhere
Ugly Betty
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (I'm a Letterman gurl)
Grey's Anatomy

Movie Recommendation

Breach
with the magnificent Chris Cooper, Ryan Phillippe, Laura Linney, Dennis Haysbert and Gary Cole

Excellent movie about "the worst spy in American history" Robert Hanssen. About a year after the Hanssen case broke (in February 2001) there was a Made-for-TV-movie about him starring William Hurt. That was a good movie with Hurt doing a good portrayal, but this film is more from the Bureau's viewpoint.
Hanssen was brilliant, a schlub, a pervert, and seriously fucked up. He's serving a life term in Forence, Colorado Supermax prison--23 hours a day in solitary confinement. A just punishment.
See the film.

She makes a nothing day

I have absolutely nothing to blog about today other than the fact I have nothing to blog about today.

Have a_________________ day.

Corporate Speak

I remember reading when Verbie said "gifted" was not a verb, so here's something I cringed at today:

This mean woman from THE COMPANY came into my office. We were talking about a meeting we have tomorrow with a guy named Michael. The meeting is scheduled for 8am, Mean Woman said, "Michael will not be here by then. His flight won't even arrive until 10am."

Me: Oh? I didn't know that.
MW: Well, I did. Michael and I office together.

She OFFICES together with Michael?? She doesn't have her office near Michael. She's not next to Michael. SHE OFFICES WITH MICHAEL. How fucking stupid is that?

The Holiday

I'm eating pistachios and thinking about The Holiday.


I think Kate Winslet is adorable. I didn't see (and will never see) The Titanic, but I've seen some other things she's been in and she's quite good. Her expression when she heard that her love Jasper was engaged to someone else is worth the whole movie. Her character's interaction with Eli Wallach's character is very sweet.


Cameron Diaz. Ugh. I like her better as Princess Fiona so I don't have to see her onscreen. I think her part could have been played by another actress and it would've been an even better movie. One thing that bugged me is that she was ready to leave Surrey (or "Suri" if you're a Cruise) after only one day--so what the hell was she going to do about Iris' dog!!? Just leave him in the house for two weeks?

I liked the little cameo of Dustin Hoffman at the video store.


Jack Black was good in this---less manic than his normal persona.


I think Jude Law is physically very pretty, and he played his part very well. He was quite charming in the scenes with the little girls who played his daughters. He has very beautiful lips and he kisses very well on screen. I understand he's a bit of a blob in real life, but "oh well."


Hasn't every woman had a motherfucking Jasper sometime in her life. The great part about this movie (and it is a romantic comedy after all) is that Iris finally woke up and told her Jasper to sod off.

Bits & Pieces

1. If there is such a thing as perfect weather, this would be it: mid 70's, sunny, not humid. In a word gorgeous.

2. I read that my Curb Your Enthusiasm crush Larry David and his anti-global warming wife Laurie are getting a divorce after being married a decade or so. This is sad. Good luck to them both.

3. BP is away working, LP is away with his friends (playing pool I think) so I am making a pizza for dinner with one of those Bobolo crusts. Grape tomatoes, real mozzarella cheese, crushed red peppers and parsley and basil from my garden.

4. I bought a flat of different kinds of coleus today and planted them in pots (picture forthcoming.) There are LOTS of plants in a flat and I ran out of pots, so I just stuck the leftovers in the ground. Coleus need shade and lots of watering, so the ones in th eground will probably die.

5. My youngest sister and her family left for Disney World today. They're staying in the Grand Floridian, and my sis booked my four year old niece a "Minnie" manicure and pedicure. I don't know if Minnie Mouse herself does the work (ha ha). She and my B-i-L have three kids and the kids have known they were going to Disney since Febuary and have been packed and ready to go since March. My niece has taken to wearing lip gloss and she doens't get the fact that you have to reapply it, and so she puckers up her lips all day long. My sis sent my niece's softball picture and Claire is there in her uniform , lips pursed and trying to look fierce. I called her and said, "Claire I love your picture! Did you wear lip gloss for it?" And she said, "Aunt Emma, how did you know!!??" Aunties know these things.


6. I rented The Holiday to watch tonight. I don't know why I got it--I am not a Cameron Diaz fan, so I hope she doesn't hog the whole movie!

Drunken Gnomes

Teri (of F and Teri fame) sent me a cool story about garage sales and this guy took a picture of these drunken gnomes he saw at a garage sale. Thanks, Teri!

Here's the story

Gnomes in the Home

A portion of my gnome collection sits on a filing cabinet.

A Song I Wish I Wrote

From a Paul McCartney interview with Newsweek:

Q: You wrote the most-covered song ever: "Yesterday." Do you ever get sick of it?


A: Not really, no. If you'd have written "Yesterday," would you? [Laughs] It's one of those, man. Come on! It's one of the most mystical things that ever happened to me, waking up one morning with that tune in my head. I mean, that's pretty far out. Recently, though, I realized I'd hardly heard any of these 3,000 cover versions. [Laughs] So I had someone make me a CD of the 10 most amazing covers: you know, Frank Sinatra, Elvis [Presley], Marvin Gaye, Ray Charles. The funniest thing was, three or four of them changed the lyric very subtly. Fabulous! In the middle I go, [sings] "I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday." I own up: "I said something wrong." But they don't! They go, [sings] "I must've said something wrong." [Laughs] Like, "I doubt very much whether I did. I must've. 'Cause she's gone." Check 'em out. See if they do "I must've said something wrong." Certainly Elvis does. He's not admitting a thing.



If you could have written a classic song, which one would it have been?
Here's only one that I would love to claim:


Our Love is Here to Stay
By George Gershwin

It's very clear
Our love is here to stay ;
Not for a year
But ever and a day.

The radio and the telephone
And the movies that we know
May just be passing fancies,
And in time may go

But, oh my dear,
Our love is here to stay.
Together we're
Going a long, long way

In time the Rockies may crumble,
Gibralter may tumble,
They're only made of clay,
But our love is here to stay.

Accent wall/Grocery

My Saturday was not relaxing. I finally painted the living room “accent wall.” It’s sort of the color of Moroccan leather mixed with a deep taupe. Now I have to get BP to rehang the pictures and such.

CAT HATER ALERT: CUTE CAT STORY COMING! I was up and down on this small four-foot ladder a lot. I took a break to go to the toilet/potty/loo and when I returned Miss Kiki Marie aka Nesta aka Sis was running up and down the ladder and having a good old time. I’ll bet in another life she was a circus cat. If I could train her to hold a paint brush I could be a wealthy woman. I’d pimp her out as a painter with posters like

NESTA THE PAINTING CAT
Too old to climb up and down ladders,
but still want a freshly painted room?
Cat Painter for hire
$2000/hour of painting and amusement


After the painting, I had to drag LP to the grocery store with me. What’s up with that? Should I, as his mother, simply have to say, “LP, I need your help at the grocery and I’d enjoy the pleasure of your company—hop in the car.”
But noooooooo it has to be a production. It’s not like I ask him to go every time.

He starts summer school and driver’s education tomorrow. If you are a pray-er, say one for me

"SON OF A BITCH!"

I just washed my hair and am waiting for it to dry before I go to bed to read, so I’ll try not to be drab, but sometimes I just can’t help it.

Did I tell you that on the way to Arkansas, my sister, Mom and I stopped at Lambert’s Café “Home of Throwed Rolls” in Sikeston Missouri? Evidently this place was featured on some Food TV show and BP suggested we stop there.

We got there around 2 pm and inside it looked like a big Cracker Barrel with rows and rows of wooden tables and lots of blue-haired folks, and some lady playing the piano (or pi-anny as Granny Clampett would call it.)

Anyway, this place’s claim to fame is that they throw rolls to/at you. A cute young guy wanders around the place saying “Hot rolls! Hot rolls here!”and you hold up your hand if you want a throwed roll. Well, my sister held up her hand and caught a roll—it was hot. I held up my hand and caught a roll—it was hot. We asked, “Ma, do you want a roll? Hold up your hand.” So she held up her hand and caught a hot roll. Well, it must have been a little too hot for her because she said (quite loudly) “SON OF A BITCH!” Those Missourians acted like they’d never heard an 82 year-old Hoosier lady say “SON OF A BITCH” before and some looked aghast.

This place served too much FOOD! Jeez! I ordered meatloaf and got two huge slabs of the stuff. They ordered chicken salad and each got two huge scoops of it, plus potatoes and rolls and these servers come by your table with “freebies” of black-eyed peas and macaroni and tomatoes and fried okra (blech)

The food wasted in that place is a sin. Those blue-haired old people probably take home leftovers and eat on them for a week. Plus, the food really wasn’t that great. It’s the gimmick of the throwed rolls that brings people in. So if you ever go to a Lambert’s Café Home of Throwed Rolls, and you catch a hot roll, say “SON OF A BITCH!” and think of my Mother.

Here's the website: Lambert's

For Spidey

I know this will be your favorite!

Orange Poppies

Red Poppies

Don't they look like crepe paper?

White Nigella: Love-in-a-Mist

Red Hot Pokers

Books for summer reading

New books I bought for one dollar each:

Oxford Book of American Poetry
French Women for All Seasons: Mireille Guiliano
The View From Castle Rock: Alice Munro
HP & The Order of the Phoenix (for a gift)
HP & The Half-Blood Prince (for a gift)
Ansel Adams The National Park Service Photographs w/ CD by Tim Janis
The Low Maintenance Garden: Susan Berry & Steve Bradley
Heritage of Ireland: History of Ireland & Its People: Nathaniel Harris
Irish Traditions: Kathleen Jo Ryan
The Enchanted Garden: Claire O’Rush
Books I bought because I want to reread:
Walden & Resistance to Civil Government: Henry D. Thoreau
Steinbeck, centennial editions:
Travels with Charley
The Pearl
The Grapes of Wrath
Of Mice and Men

I think that will be a good start to my summer reading

Memorial Day

I fried some bacon, toasted an English muffin and poured myself some orange juice for breakfast. Then I'm going to sit on the porch and finish my Spanish Dagger book, and might watch some TV and pet the cat--other than that I'm not doing a damned thing all day.

My Hands hurt

My hands hurt. I sifted compost and planted five new plants I bought at Menard’s I had told myself that under no circumstances would I buy another plant this season but I saw these giant blue scabiosas and white salvias and so I just did it.

I made an enchilada-type lasagna dish today and it was wonderful!

Sauce:

2 T olive oil 2 T flour and make a roux
add one small can of chicken stock
about 1 T chili powder
1 t cumin
½ cup water
and whisk it together and cook it for 10-15 minutes and set aside

Filling:

1 pound ground beef
1 small onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 T red pepper flakes
1 small can black beans, rinsed and drained

1 large package of corn tortillas

1 packaged shredded Mexican/Taco cheese


Spray glass baking dish with non stick spray. Layer of corn tortillas (put them in the microwave for about 30 seconds before layering)—I cut mine in half to make them fit the pan.

Layer of meat mixture

Layer of cheese

Layer of tortillas

Layer of meat

A final layer of tortillas and then top with the remaining cheese


Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for thirty minutes
I served it with a salad, but you can do whatever you want.

Hardware Cloth

Happy Friday.
I’m going to work today. I was “sick” on Wednesday and Thursday---an upset stomach passes for sick—right? Anyway, I took LP to the dentist yesterday and he had a cavity and she filled it that same day, which was good.
The guys went to see Spider-man 3 last evening. I didn’t want to go—I didn’t really enjoy S-M #2. They both enjoyed it and ate popcorn and those little non-pariel (sp?) chocolates.
We worked on the yard a lot, including clearing away some dead branches which I wouldn’t have minded keeping the area “wild” but I was over ruled. That’s okay though because there was some kick ass compost at the bottom of the pile of stuff.
Know what Hardware Cloth is? That’s okay, I didn’t either until two days ago. It’s a screen type thing that’s a cross between chicken wire and a screen for a door. Anyway BP built me this great compost sifter from hardware cloth and old 2 x 4’s. It was just like Design Remix!! Making good stuff from the crappy stuff you have lying around the house and yard. Now, I can put this sifter over the wheelbarrow and sift out the big chucks from my compost, use the small stuff and return the big chucks to my composter. Does that make sense?
I’m going back to work today and then it’s a 3-day weekend, which I love.
I’ll post a picture of my sifter soon.

For Elu

A fucked Frosty--got so hot, he melted!

Go ahead, make fun

What's Blooming

Pink Lupine, Orange Poppies, Columbine, and Dame's rocket, columbine and lambs ears

1. Letter from Mister Rogers

2. Letter from Paul Newman

3. Letter from Dalai Lama

4. Letter from JFK, Jr.

5. Oval Office

6. View from 2nd floor

Clinton Library

We loved the Library. It was uncrowded, the workers and volunteers were wonderful (even if this sweet, kinda withered old man chastised me for taking flash pictures--he suggested holding my finger over the flash and that worked just fine.)

My favorite part was the Oval Office replica (pictures to come soon.) The Museum Store--housed down the street--was a disappointment. A lot of cheesy cheap crap, but I did buy a William J Clinton Presidential Library checkbook cover and an "I MISS BILL" bumpersticker.

I also liked the letters on display and the gifts they received from the American people and world leaders.

The Cafe 42 is in the basement of the building and we had a good lunch there--crab salad and chocolate torte for me, and my mother and Sis had the chicken salad and the Hillary cookies.

Speaking of my Mother. Sigh. Y'all haven't lived until you've taken a 9 hour road trip with an 80+ year old woman.

But it was a good time, and now I want to visit the Harry S Truman Presidential Library in Missouri.

--more photos to come--

An Orchid in the lobby of the Little Rock Peabody Hotel. The Duckmaster and the Peabody Ducks descending to the lobby via the elevator. The view of the Old Statehouse and the Arkansas River from our room.

Goodbye My Pretties!

Tomorrow I am going here:

Pilgrimage

with my mom and one of my sisters. With all the shit happening around here at work, I need a few days to enjoy myself. BP & LP will miss me, but I have typed up a long honey do list for both of them to keep them out of trouble :)

Sing It

Three, six, nine
The goose drank wine
The monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line
The line broke, the monkey got choked
And they all went to heaven in a little row boat
Clap your hands
(pause) (pause) (pause)
Clap your hands


My mother told me if I was goody
That she would buy me a rubber dolly
My auntie told her, I kissed a soldier
Now she won't buy me, a rubber dolly

Three, six, nine The goose drank wine
The monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line
The line broke, the monkey got choked
And they all went to heaven in a little row boat

Clap your hands
(pause) (pause) (pause)
Clap your hands

The Yellow-Lighted Bookshop

I finished The Yellow-Lighted Bookshop by Lewis Buzbee. Tree, you should read this. Respighi, read this. Urban, since you were in the San Francisco area, you should read this. Spidey, read this. All you others who have book-lust should read it.
Buzbee takes us back to his childhood when he discovered “important” books and authors. His first was Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath. He worked as a bookseller, and publisher sales representative for over 30 years. He talks about getting that Scholastic catalog and ordering books in grade school, and the excitement when they arrived and were handed out from the teacher’s desk
Buzbee discusses important booksellers like Sylvia Beach who opened Shakespeare & Co in Paris and how that store became a magnet for authors like Gertrude Stein, Hemingway, and James Joyce, and how she saved her inventory from being destroyed by the Nazis.
Buzbee talks about present day banned books and the Patriot Act which proclaims that booksellers and libraries must give the government access to your personal reading habits without notifying you when they do so. He promotes buying books with cold hard cash so your purchases cannot be traced.
He describes bookstore ambience, the actual process of writing, publishing, marketing, shelving and selling books and why this is important to civilization—all without being stuffy.
At $17, it’s an important and charming book

Happy Mother's Day to Me

To me, being a mother is:

Aggravating

Brave

Coddling

Delightful

Exasperating

Fantastic

Ghoulish

Heavenly/Hellish

Idolizing

Joyous

Klutzy

Lovely

Maniacal

Necessary

Ominous

Purposeful

Question mark

Reaction

Spiritual

Touching

Unknown

Vexing

Weird

X-hilarating

Yearning

Zealous

Say It Isn't So!

I’m a few days behind watching the tv shows I taped.

That said . . . there is absolutely no way that John Lock can be dead! He’s the magic of the island. The island loves him. It cured him. So the bullet that Other Ben shot him with cannot have pierced anything vital and the wound will heal.

Why is the guy who found young runaway Ben the same guy who is with the Others now—and he has not aged day one.

I hate Juliet—I don’t care if she’s a reformed Other or not. Jack, why must you be so stupid.

Dear Lost producers and writers:

1. Stop introducing so many new characters. Who’s this Naomi person anyway? Why do we care about her at all?

2. People you’d better not fuck with and/or kill off (after you did so to Mr. Eco): Sun, Sayid, Desmond, Kate, Jack, Lock, Hurley and the chair who talks to Ben (haha).
(The Lost Credits: “Chair-who-talks-to-Ben played by Laa Z Boyy”)

3. Will Walt and Michael ever come back? Where are Rose and Bernard?

4. People who you can kill off and I’d say Good Riddance: Charlie (I detest that hobbit), Claire, Rosseau, Ben.

Garden/Stuff

I was ordered to update (cough, cough, Respighi cough) so here goes:

1. My spring garden looks good; columbine, iris, chives, and lupines are blooming. My poppies are at the stage I love . . .lots and lots of pre-bloom fuzzy testicle-like orbs.
The three shrub (disease resistant—uh huh) roses finally arrived from Heirloom Roses. Bonica and two Fairys. I’ll plant them when I can.

2. LP’s signed up for driver’s education beginning in June. If you see Kath—tell her to light a candle for me.

3. Things at work: bad and low morale all around.

4. The paintings I’ve done are cool if I do say so myself. I’d post them but my fragile artist's ego couldn’t take the abuse.

Primary

Today is primary day here in Indiana.
Mayor and council people.
We need more women running for office.
I voted.

My Butt Hurts

My butt hurts. No, it’s not from anal sex—do you think you accidentally stumbled upon Traceebrat’s blog??! My butt hurts because I gardened all day yesterday.

I planted my containers with herbs, dwarf cannas, elephant ears, replanted some of the catmint I had dug up earlier, new lavender, and annuals.

Lots and lots of annuals: verbena, Wave petunias, ornamental sweet potato plants, heliotrope, and my new favorite, stock (some people call it gillyflower--although I've also heard dianthus referred to as gillyflower). Buy some stock. It’s got a wonderfully delicious scent that is really noticeable in the evening. Comes in a variety of colors—I bought white, lavender and a pinky mauve.

I dug, watered, fertilized and mulch and that is why my butt and thighs hurt.

Queen at Kentucky Derby

Here's a picture of a smiling Queen Elizabeth taken at yesterday's Kentucky Derby, SPIDEY--for you. Another lovely hat, I must say. Is the Queen the only woman in 2007 who regularly wears hats? I've blogged about this before. I'm old enough to remember when women (my mother) never went to any event--or church--without a chappeau. My mother had lots of hats in hatboxes, now her favorite hat is a baseball cap with "NAVY" and the Navy's insignia on it.

Happy 88th, Pete!

Pete Seeger's 88th birthday was a few days ago. He wrote this song in the late '60s--it was about the Vietnam war and man, oh man, it still rings true today. I love Pete Seeger.

Waist Deep In The Big Muddy
by Pete Seeger 1963, planned for the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour in 1967 but CBS objected to the blacklisted Seeger making obvious references to the"big fool" in the White House, finally sung by Seeger on the Comedy Hour in 1968 as the finale in a medley of anti-war songs

It was back in nineteen forty-two,I was a member of a good platoon.We were on maneuvers in-a Loozianna,One night by the light of the moon.The captain told us to ford a river,That's how it all begun.We were -- knee deep in the Big Muddy,But the big fool said to push on.

The Sergeant said, "Sir, are you sure,This is the best way back to the base?""Sergeant, go on! I forded this river'Bout a mile above this place.It'll be a little soggy but just keep slogging.We'll soon be on dry ground."We were -- waist deep in the Big MuddyAnd the big fool said to push on.

The Sergeant said, "Sir, with all this equipmentNo man will be able to swim.""Sergeant, don't be a Nervous Nellie,"The Captain said to him."All we need is a little determination;Men, follow me, I'll lead on."We were -- neck deep in the Big MuddyAnd the big fool said to push on.

All at once, the moon clouded over,We heard a gurgling cry.A few seconds later, the captain's helmetWas all that floated by.The Sergeant said, "Turn around men!I'm in charge from now on."And we just made it out of the Big MuddyWith the captain dead and gone.

We stripped and dived and found his bodyStuck in the old quicksand.I guess he didn't know that the water was deeperThan the place he'd once before been.Another stream had joined the Big Muddy'Bout a half mile from where we'd gone.We were lucky to escape from the Big MuddyWhen the big fool said to push on.

Well, I'm not going to point any moral;I'll leave that for yourselfMaybe you're still walking, you're still talkingYou'd like to keep your health.But every time I read the papersThat old feeling comes on;We're -- waist deep in the Big MuddyAnd the big fool says to push on.

Waist deep in the Big MuddyAnd the big fool says to push on.Waist deep in the Big MuddyAnd the big fool says to push on.Waist deep! Neck deep! Soon even a Tall man'll be over his head, we'reWaist deep in the Big Muddy!And the big fool says to push on!

Words and music by Pete Seeger (1967)TRO (c) 1967 Melody Trails, Inc. New York, NY

Queen's Hat

I love this woman's hat! I labeled this picture "Queenshat" but it kinda looks like Queen shat.

Sorry, Liz

The Colbert Report

Last night I was watching a repeat of Stephen Colbert on The Colbert Report. He was talking about Rep. presidential hopeful and Mormon Mitt Romney. He didn't draw into question his religious beliefs but his choice in reading material.
He showed a clip of Romney being interviewed by some chick on Fox morning news. She asked Romney what his all-time favorite book was. He replied, in all sincerity, "Battlefield Earth by L. Ron Hubbard." OMG, I'll bet his political handlers were just cringing.
Why would any presidential candidate want to be associated with Scientology founder Hubbard?

(sorry, Clanky, this post has an American bent to it.)

Momisms

What's the most "Mom" phrase you use (or have heard from your Mom) on your kids?
You can answer if you are a Dad too.

Recently, I have been saying "you're cutting off your nose to spite your face" a lot.
I've also been known to say, "Be nice to people while they're still here to be nice to," "Don't piss away your education . . . 99% of the kids in the world would love to have what you have."

I think it goes in one ear and out the other.

My Mom used to warn us of crowded places and shoplifters, "They'll knock you in the head for 50 cents!"

Happy May Day

The USSR used to celebrate May Day. I don't know about Russia.

It just got finished hailing here. Pea-sized.

I got six pieces of mail: No bills, two mayoral solicitations, Martha Stewart Omnimedia stockholder report (I owe one share), two credit card offers for Mastercard, one solicitation from Ball State Foundation. Here's a piece of advice: Never, under any circumstances, give to your alma maters's foundation. Make a notation to direct your donation to your favorite academic department, to a scholarship fund, to student activities, anything but an unrestricted account like a Foundation. Foundation money can be used for anything: flowers for some dead person, dinners and alcohol to wine and dine big givers . . . anything. Be specific, people. I give mine to the political science department so they can bring in speakers and do other things to corrupt young minds into my way of thinking.

Friday is my youngest sister's birthday. The check is in the mail.

Saturday is Cinco De Mayo. Can you say "margarita"?

Garden Work/Crappy Movie

It was a beautiful weekend so we worked outside a lot.
BP went to his Mom’s on Saturday and did some work for her and brought back his backhoe bucket so he could “repair” it. He and LP had a heckava time getting it off the trailer. Don’t ask me how he’s repairing it. I somehow think that his lathe will play a part in it.
Yesterday we went to Menard’s with the trailer and bought loads of mulch, landscape fabric, potting soil and bags of river rock.
I Rounded-Up an area, put down landscape fabric and moved the bird bath onto bricks I had “pinwheeled.” (BP advised me to do it this way) then I surrounded the area with the river rock, and man does it look good! Those lucky, lucky birds. Later I saw a blackbird, a robin, and two goldfinches enjoying a dip and drink.
I also ripped up a bunch of ivy (I thought of Urban) and cleaned up the bed in front of the porch. Since Ded hasn’t answered my buddleia bush question, I attempted to dig up the old bush. I trimmed it back almost to the ground and dug and dug and then it was “fuck this noise.” I’ll try later; if I don’t get it all up I’ll just place a few big stones on top of the stump and call it a day.
I ordered three dwarf varieties of buddleia from a website yesterday and I’ll plant those in the clean up bed. I think they’ll do nicely.

Last night after The Amazing Race, BP and I watched Stranger Than Fiction. He had seen it before and he insisted I see it. He loved it; I thought it sucked major ass. You ask how can a movie with Dustin Hoffman, Emma Thompson, Queen Latifah and Will Ferrell suck major ass? Well, it can. The only non-boring part was Maggie Gyllenhall. It had a good premise, but was excuted very poorly. I’d give it a D-.

Pretty Kitty Redux

Thing up in the sky/paint colors

Something’s strange. I go outside to retrieve the morning paper and I see a ball yellow ball in the sky. What is this thing? Our skies have been dark, gloomy and grey for so long, I’m not sure what this yellow thing is, but it sure is pleasant.


I think I’ll make a deal with LP when he wakes up. I’ll happily mow the lawn later if he’ll clean up that disgusting room of his and launder his clothes. He’ll either take the deal or else he’ll have to clean up that disgusting room of his, launder his clothes, and mow the lawn.


I think I’ve told you that I’m trying to decide which colors to paint the living room. Tracee or Schell sure would come in handy around here. I’m stuck on choosing colors. But I’ll tell you, it’s been fun. I’ve discovered that Menard’s has the coolest display ever: Pittsburgh paints and little sample pots I can buy for $2.98 each. I think I’ve brought home seven of those pots so far. I primed an area on the wall and have so many paint swatches up there. Haha. BP just rolls his eyes.

Here’s the progression:
1. I thought three walls would go a deep sand/taupe color and an accent wall wold be spice/curry/pumpkiny

2. Three walls would be a lemony/goldy with the accent wall a teal/baby blueish color.

3. Three walls would be a taupe/corn silk with the accent wall a sagey green color.

It’s amazing to me that there are so many variations of the three primary colors. It boggles the mind.

That’s all for now.

Separated at Birth

Murder defendant Phil Spector and American Idol runner up Clay Aiken

Riots/Garbage

A few days ago there was a riot at a New Castle, Indiana prison. The prisoners who started the riot were transfers from Arizona. I know we get paid for them, but I don’t like the idea of Indiana having to take in prisoners from other States. I don’t want New Jersey’s garbage transported to Indiana, and I don’t want other States’ desperadoes. We have enough garbage and prisoners of our own.
Check into it—I’m sure your State imports problems from other States. Maybe we should just designate one State (maybe Cheney’s Wyoming since he has a boner to exploit Alaska) as the dumping ground—and send it all of the other 49s garbage, rapists, murderers, tax evaders, and people who spoil Harry Potter endings.

Toilet Poll

I'm taking a poll.
When you use a public bathroom, after you do your business, do you pull up and zip pants/jeans and then flush the toilet?
Or do you immediately flush the toilet and then rearrange your clothing?
I do the former and was told that it was 'the wrong way.'

Too much to see here

Today is Tuesday and even with a chance of rain in the forecast, I’m taking today off to try and do some errands and Menard’s shopping with BP.

Nothing much else to report.

Apolo Anton Ohno was good on DWTS last night.

A Surprise Gnome

Spidey*** sent me a wee Surprise Gnome!

He loves it in here in Indiana, and I love Spidey!

Thank you Miss Spidey!!

Clothes/books/$2.50 painting

We visited my sister but didn’t stay the night. After “babysitting” with my mother for a few days, my sis wanted and deserved her solitude.
Respighi’s right. LP came away with some clothes from Finish Line and Man Alive, and a Wii thingy. In fact both places (FL & MA) recognized us from out previous excursions and the two employees tripped over others to get to us first. They must get credit or commissions on sales.

We went to B&N and I got some magazines and two books:
The Yellow-Lighted Bookshop: A Memoir, A History by Lewis Buzbee
The Secret of Lost Things, by Sheridan Hay

Both are set in bookshops. One, a novel, the other non-fiction.

(At present I’m reading a fascinating non fiction book, The Wild Trees by Richard Preston—he wrote the thriller The Hot Zone. The Wild Trees is about the magnificent California redwoods. I’ll blog about it when I’m finished with it.)

I also got two large area rugs and two paintings. One painting would not ring up at the register and, after calling a supervisor and fiddling around with the sku, the supervisor told us that this painting had been on clearance awhile back and “wasn’t even supposed to be on the sales floor.” Huh? I told her that it was the only one like it that we saw. Anyway, she said she’d give it to me, “really cheap” because someone had screwed up putting it back out. TWO DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS!! The rest of the art work was around eighty bucks.
Today is gorgeous outside, so after my coffee and toast I’m going outside to putter aound and try and talk BP into going to Menard’s with me for my annual haul of mulch and potting soil and other accoutrements.

Saturday

LP and I are going to my sister's for the day. We'll probably stay overnight. And, yes, we're goiing shopping. So don't hate.

Party Wrap

The birthday party was held at 3pm because we had to get some pesky work done. Refreshments: Chocolate cake and iced tea
Presents brought in to us: yesterday’s newspaper wrapped in newspaper, a box of Swingline staples, a thumbtack (yes, one thumbtack) and an old telephone cord someone had in the back of her desk drawer. No staplers in Jello.
Fun was had by all.

Clanky sent me this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJVclCaVxmM


Here’s the American version I her back to her:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMHv_D-3yso

On the Good Ship Lollipop

My staff has been all gloom and doom and depressed since (basically) last November when the Powers That Be decided to look at outsourcing our department. We’ve plotted and justified and spreadsheeted (I know that’s not a word) until we’re all bored to death about it. People just want to stop guessing and have it laid out. I find people can pretty much deal with a situation if you tell them the facts. When it’s left up to them, they start from the Worst Case Scenario. We’re supposed to get the word sometime in May.
Anyway yesterday I told my staff “Fuck it” (well, I didn’t use that exact phrase) “If we’re going down the pea patch (a Hoosier expression) we’re not going as Gloomy Guses, by golly.” (Do I sound like Shirley Temple in Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm or what??) I told them yesterday that today we’re having a BIRTHDAY PARTY! “Whose birthday?” They asked.
DOES IT MATTER?? Hell, no! At least they laughed. So I’m bringing in cake and stuff and we’ll send out an email to join us for cake. Bring gifts. You can wrap up an office supply in letterhead if you like (or put it in Jello like Jim did Dwight’s stapler)—just bring something to cheer us up.

The artist in me

Soon, I am going to start to paint on canvas.
I am exploring my inner artist.
I will update you on the results.

Ha ha . . .good for Hillary

During a radio call-in on WOKQ-FM, Sen. Hillary Clinton was asked what the United States can do about Sanjaya Malakar, the television show's underdog candidate who critics say lacks any shred of talent. "That's the best question I've been asked in a long time," Clinton said. "Well, you know, people can vote for whomever they want. That's true in my election, and it's true on 'American Idol."'

Art

Meme's "Mackenzie Thorpe" picture vs a Pokemon Pikachu.

any difference? You decide

Manure Tea

1. The weather. The weather Gods are against me. I want to do stuff outside in my yarden (yard-garden, if you didn’t get that) but have been unable to. It’s been raining like Noah’s ark should be parked in the driveway.

2. I think I mentioned that I bought a Tumbleweed Compost Maker. I love it. I’ve been feeding it every day. The instructions say that it works faster with only grass clippings, but bullshit!—That’s wimpy. I’ve been doing shredded newspapers, old leaves, spent daffodil flowers, vegetable kitchen scraps. I had BP put it near the shed so when I go outside to the garage, I can tumble it. Every time I tumble it I chant:

Rumble, tumble, foil and fumble. I love you the most.
Rumble, tumble, foil and fumble, make some ass-kickin’ compost!

(I’m thinking about copyrighting that, so don’t rip it off!)

3. A woman who works with me has a horse. She loves her horse. I gave her a extra heavy duty contractor garbage bag and asked her to bring me some manure. She asked why. Haha. I told her that I wanted to make some mature tea for my plants. She retorted, “Sure, I’ve always wanted to give my boss some shit.” Ha ha again.

Recipe for manure tea:

Horse and/or cow shit
Water
Pantyhose


Put some horse manure into pantyhose (be prepared to not wear the pantyhose again) and tie it off.

Drop the package into a barrel of water and cover.

Steep the manure for a few days . . a week. . . .whatever.

Draw some of the tea and mix with an equal part of straight water. Water garden plants or container plants.

Good stuff

Meme's legs

We're supposed to get snow tomorrow. Where's Spring? I need to mow my lawn. The grass is longer than the hair on Meme's legs.

The Secret backfires

Spidey,
I know you don’t watch Boston Legal, but I just have to share.

Denny Crane is played by William Shatner
Allan Shore is played by Emma's-Lust-Man James Spader

Denny’s at his desk with his eyes closed. Allan walks into Denny's office:

Allan: Denny? Is something wrong?

No reply.

Allan: Denny!?

Denny: The Secret.

Allan: A Secret? You can tell me, we’re flamingos (long story)

Denny: No, not a secret. THE Secret. It’s all about the laws of attraction. I’m thinking of Raquel Welch. I think of Raquel Welch long enough, she will appear here and want me.

Long story short (hee hee) the last part of the episode, some guy says to Denny “there is a woman here to see you.”

Denny: Here to see me? Is she a celebrity? Sex symbol? Show her in!


In walks Phyllis Diller! hahahaha

Proclamation for Tuesday

1. Had my teeth cleaned today. My Dentist said everything looked good and she'll see me in six months.

2. It was Taco Day in the cafeteria--cause for celebration.


3. BP put together my Tumbleweeds Composter bin and it looks faaaahbulous. i can't wait for the wastes to get cookin'!

Catching hell

Yesterday at my sister's was fun, good food, an egg hunt for the little niece and nephew, but I caught Hell from LP for not making him an Easter Basket. Who knew the teenaged Gangsta man wanted a basket with eggs and a Chocolate Bunny?

Eggs/Spidey

I made the hard boiled eggs yesterday and didn't cook them long enough because when I went to drain them and roll them around in the pan to crack them up, it was a holy mess!!! Yuck. So I had to drive over to Kroger's and buy another dozen. The second time I cooked them longer, added vinegar to the water, etc. and they were perfect.
I looked up on Food TV website and here's what I put in the mixture: Mayo, spicy mustard, hot sauce, Woschestershire (sp) sauce, finely diced red onion, parsley, salt and pepper. It was very good.
I also went all Sandra Lee and put the mixture in a baggie, snipped off a corner and piped it into the whites. Eggscellent!
I also made the roasted shrimp and orzo salad and that's fire (fire is a good thing according to LP)

Thanks to Spidey for the Easter E card (she loves me---and it's ditto)
PS: Spidey, I found sixty dollars in a jacket pocket I was going to wear today!!

Happy Easter to you all.

Office Hilarity

There were some really hilarious bits in The Office last night:


1. Angela getting hot and wanting Dwight-saves-Jim recaps from everyone.

2. Michael accidentally cross-dressing—wearing a woman’s suit!!!!! SNORT!

3. Kelly wanting to name her child “Usher Jennifer Hudson Kapoor” SNORT!!!

4. Poor Toby’s face when Jan and Michael were negotiating.

5. Michael getting negotiating tips from Wikapedia! Haha. His “low talking”


Pretty good half hour—I’m sick of Pam’s wishy-washyness!!!

Oh, and I just found out that Rashida Jones’ (who plays Karen) parents in real life are Peggy Lipton and Quincy Jones. Duh. How did I miss that one?

Rudy/Sex/Politics

Ah, Rudy G (I can him Rudy G because I’m still not sure on how to spell G-u-i-l-a-n-i) says that the voters should focus on his record and not on his personal life--his marriages, affairs and estrangement from his son. Hmmm. That sounds familiar. Newt Gingrich says that he had “sinned” in his personal life—even when he was calling for Bill Clinton’s penis on a platter. Hmmm. The Evangelical preachers who hunt for the verboten HOMO SEX when preaching that homosexuality is a SIN. What about Mitt Romney? Will it come out that he has six wives all under the age of 15? Did John McCain father little Vietnamese chillin when he was in Hotel Hanoi? Is Hillary a lipstick Lez? Does Barack like a little S&M? Does John Edwards have a woman in every port? We all know that Fred “Law & Order” Thompson is a ladies man.
Are there voters out there who believe that a President should appear to have a good marriage and respectful, clean-cut All American kids? Have we ever had such a President? The only one in recent memory I can think of is Jimmy Carter and he, although a wonderful human being, by many accounts, was a shitty president.

Bob/Eggs

I'm reading Bob Newhart's I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This. Good so far.

We had many thunderstorms today but a beautiful sunset so I guess it evened out.

BP will be out of town, so LP and I are going over to my youngest sister's for Easter this Sunday. I'm bringing a roasted shrimp and orzo salad that The Barefoot Contessa made. And Connie wants me to bring the deviled eggs. Bah. I haven't made those in ages. Anyone have anything special she adds to the yolk mixture besides mayo and mustard and paprika?

And is it true that if you put the eggs into cold water, bring them to a boil, cover the pan and let them sit for 15 minutes, you'll get perfect hard boiled eggs? How about shelling them? Run them under cold water? I hate when the shells don't come off in a nice neat pretty way.

I suppose I'll have to go grocery shopping either Friday or Saturday.

Of blue-veined tits and amusement parks

Do people really have fun at amusement parks?
When I was down in Florida the person I went to the conference with and I took one day off and went to Universal Studios.
We went on The Cat in the Hat ride (wait was five minutes), another Suess ride (wait was 10 minutes) then we had lunch at Emeril’s restaurant where the woman at the next table whipped out her big blue-veined tit and nursed her baby. Am I offended by breastfeeding? No. Not discreet public breastfeeding. This woman made a display of whipping out her milky tit. Instead of sitting towards the wall where no other diner could have known what she was doing, she sat facing the entire restaurant and whipped it out. The manager was too much of a pussy to say anything to her. To his defense, she was probably one of those idiots who would have accused him of being “anti-motherhood.” I am not anti-motherhood. I’m anti- having to see a big blue-veined tit and a kid sucking on it when I’m trying to enjoy an overpriced lunch at Emeril’s.
Anyway, I digress. After lunch we waited sixty minutes to ride the Back to the Future ride which sucked and wasn’t worth 60 minutes of my life. My friend then wanted to wait another hour to ride this Earthquake ride, so I said I’d wait by this fake-warehouse building on a comfortable wooden bench while she rode on it. I enjoyed watching people’s faces and hearing snippets on their conversations. Their faces told me that they weren’t having fun. Even the kids were whining and snarling and so I figured out that Disney and Universal and Six Flags and King’s Island and all those other amusement parks are perpetuating a BIG LIE on the American Public. Their commercials promise smiling faces and grandparents having fun with bright-eyed children. But, in fact, it’s a BIG LIE.
I must be cursed because years and years ago when my sisters and I were at DisneyWorld waiting in the long ass line for It’s a Small World ride, another big, big woman a few people in front of us whipped out her tit and breastfed. Any man who is a “breast man” shouldn’t watch when a Big, big woman, or a woman with big blue-veined tits breastfeed their offspring.

The First of April

I won last night's Powerball jacket and will send each of you ten thousand dollars to do with what you wish. Email me at EmmaWrites@aol.com if you want money. You must post here in my comment section what you would do with the money I send.

I'm off to a secuded South Pacific isle to bask in the sun's warmth while a dark and swarthy canaba boy leisurely applies oil over my body.

My only worry now is whether to order the pina colada or the margarita.

Have fun and I'll see you on my return.